first

"Lawyer With Stockholm Syndrome Advice for Associates" is missing a verb. Should probably be "Has Advice." The hunt for an Elie post without a mistake continues..

#1 - Is that English?

great advice. where can i sign up?

#5: the wsj law blog

Somewhere PE is dreaming about being beaten by a large black rubber dildo.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome

Most of this stuff would be just sad if it wasn't right on point.

"You have to love how sick children, family crisis, and dead dogs are all lumped into the "excuses" category. But the sad thing is that Braun is probably right. Having this mindset is probably to best way to become a Biglaw partner."

This is absolutely true. Several years ago, a friend of mine's baby was born severely prematurely, and was in the NICU barely clinging to life. A major client of my then firm went ballistic when my friend tried to reschedule a not very important meeting with him so he could spend some time at the hospital with his wife and daughter. The client actually asked him: You think that's more important than my case?"

Welcome to BigLaw. No one gets out of here alive.

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue."

If that guy in the picture yelled less, his hair probably wouldn't be so thin.

"The Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological shift that occurs to captives when they are threatened gravely but shown acts of kindness by their captors. They tend to sympathize with their captors and think of them highly because they believe that their captors are showing fervor because of their inherent kindness and thus might not be as bad as they look. Unfortunately, they fail to recognize that their captors are making choices based on their own discretion. When subjected to these situations for a period of time, the captive develops a strong bond with the captor..." It sounds like law firm life.

10, the answer to that question is 'yes.' Followed by a letter of resignation and a search for a job with meaning.

Commentary: Tough Love for New Associates

Is it hybrid tough love?

"Having this mindset is probably to best way to become a Biglaw partner. "

Having this skill set is probably to best way to become an ATL editor.

Big Law?! The guy's firm only has 8 lawyers. He only works for 2 partners!

Making it rain or showing strong potential to do so is the way to become a partner. The rest of that stuff just keeps you from getting fired. And in this environment, even that's no sure thing.

Law firms suck. Selling your time by the hour is one of the shittiest ways in the world to make a living. If you haven't practiced yet, you'll see.

And in other news, the sky is blue.

Thanks for the great reporting, ATL!!

I have my dignity and I would NEVER put a partner or client in front of my family.

--unemployed former 3rd year associate

This is such bullshit, they need another word for it.

Here is the problem for young associates. You know that partner, the one who supervises you on Big client X but was originated under Partner Y. This partner will, at some point, push you down the proverbial stairs. You see, there's only so much work available. And right now, there's a limited amount of new origination happening.

When there are increasing amounts of new business, these partners were willing to let young attorneys move up the ranks. But now, mid to senior level associates, are competition. Even younger ones are kind of at risk.

And good luck landing a client while billing 2300-2400 hours a year.

This guy is utterly full of crap. And quite honestly, if some jack ass is yelling at you for a dumb reason (and yet can turn charming as needed for judges and clients)--don't forget that shit. Do good work. Move on, either in the government and in house, and make it a point to never, ever let that fucker near your work.

-In house lady.

Sacrificing so much now for a possible Biglaw partnership offer in the future takes more faith than Biglaw deserves. Learn to do the job well and make your own rain; that way you are gaining independence and not dependence.

Oklahoma Law

"But the sad thing is that Braun is probably right. Having this mindset is probably to best way to become a Biglaw partner. Whether or not achieving such a goal at that kind of cost is enough to make a person happy is another question entirely, but I suppose "happy" is not really the point of all this for some people."

/so says some guy who left the law to write a blog and then complains he doesn't make enough money to pay off the now totally unnecessary debt he incurred.

//has no idea what it takes to succeed in a law firm because he didn't really try.

///would be shocked to learn the people who succeed at firms generally enjoy their jobs and are both respected and well liked by their superiors.

What an insufferable douche.

There is no excuse for screaming at people in the office. To rationalize that kind of behavior with horseshit like "when you make a mistake, you'll never forget it" is ridiculous.

I read the memo, and think its pretty good advice overall. With these comments boards so full of self-absorbed, whiny associates, its nice to get a different perspective. Success is a daily struggle-- there's a lot of long days ahead for those of us that really want it (but I guess most law students never really wanted it in the first place).

~ Deferred and awaiting Bar Results

Hey, 25 - why don't you wait until you've actually worked as an associate before offering your great insights into life in a law firm.

It's Lexis with an "i".

A "3,500 sq/ft wife" Elie!? I must be missing some kind of arcane joke here. You couldn't possibly make a typo so bad that you equate the "BigLaw dream" with having a 3,500 sq/ft wife. That is almost accidentially funny, in that I imagine you married to a 3,500 sq/ft woman.

What a douche.

25--you are so fucking stupid, and if your offer is not going to be rescinded, you will, no doubt, be screwed at some point by the law firm your joining. Stupid, stupid. Sigh.

18: "strong potential to make rain" = white guy?

This guy is talking about doing perfect work, but he went to Creighton. Someone didn't do perfect work in college or on the LSAT.

27 & 28 -- old joke --

4 yes--

your progress while difficult is marginally incremental.

And for that I am gratified

28 - actually it is a joke from awhile ago.

Good usage Elie.

In other words, in order to succeed as a Biglaw associate, you have to sacrifice most of your humanity.

That should work just fine for most of the commenters on ATL, who never had much humanity to begin with, and who lost what little of it remained during their three years of law school.

28 -- A 3,500 sq/ft woman is probably a petite woman in comparison to Elie

18 -

Hour? six-minute increments, baby!!!

Is this a real story? No partner that I know of would ever tell an associate to think like a partner. That would be tantamount to telling a person with diminished mental capacity to think "like a genius." The problem is associates have no point of reference on how to think like partners. They haven't experienced retaining, servicing, keeping and attaining new clients while maintaining stellar work product. Most associates only care about the paycheck, perks and bonuses. This is narrow minded greed that costs many associates their careers.

On an aside, Obama's cash for clunkers program was such a success that Congress will inject another $2B next week into the program. If you are a junior partner at a peer firm, trade in your clunker for a Mercedes Benz Blue Tec and let the unemployed or middle class plebes foot the tax bill for your august leader's brilliant program to jump start the economy. That is all.

first?

I want to thank this dude and all you other big firm people for making me feel better about my choice to reject several Big Law offers in order to have a relatively low-pressure law job making a bit (seriously) less money than Big Law. I have had various second thoughts over the years, thinking that maybe I should have taken the Big Law job for more cash. But now between the layoffs I read about on this site and the disgusting life that Big Law associates have (to the point where they start thinking it's OK to be mistreated), I can't tell you how much I thank God every day that that's not me. Seriously, I would recommend to all associates that when the economy gets better, get the hell out. You'd be surprised how much you can make at other law jobs.

You know that domestic abuse joke? "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" "Nothing, she's already been told twice."

This guy hears that joke and nods his head, saying, "he has a point."

I totally agree with 25. Most of the associates on this board want everything handed to them. It’s like they think that the world owes them something. Wake up people….the rain is not going to make itself.

-Incoming Creighton 2L.

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/jason-braun/12/190/215

Wayne State College in Nebraska? It seems that they admit 100% of applicants. In defense of Creighton, they only admit 40% of applicants.

When you see the two together, you think: I'm impressed. For a moment there, I thought you were just a dumb hick who only has sex with farm animals.

.......
Over the past few years, several tenets have helped me on the way to that goal. Some I learned quickly; others I learned through trial and error.
.......

Judging by how frequently the author changes jobs, it is more of the latter than the former.

.......
Practice does not make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect.
........

I have never heard that one before. I have one of my own: cliche-soaked writing indicates a lack of original thought.

17 and 32 have it right. This guy is no more of a big law guy than I am (and I got RIFed), I am sure working for an 8 lawyer, two partner law firm for a lawyer from Creighton (or wherever) is "big law", it must be some be weird little firm if the 2 partners are acting that way and none of the other 5 associates recognize that one of the two secretaries is ailing on a particular day.

On the other hand, he is getting what he preaches us to do. He wrote for some dumb ass Texas publication which is too stupid to check out whether he has the creds to write that article.

32 and 17 are too smart not to look behind this stuff.

Saddleback college?

Is that where you go to take Brokeback studies?

In fairness, his BS from Wayne State College is Sport Management.

Why are you all using this guy's comments as examples of how to behave in Biglaw?

Have you freaking gone to this firm'a web site? It's an eight person law firm. This guy knows nothing about "Biglaw."

Why are you using him as Biglaw example?

Do all Texas lawyers have really small penises and no testicles, or just this "guy"?

SHART

No, just the ones from Creighton.

"If the partner tells you to cut your hair or shave the goatee, he or she has a good reason. So start shaving -- with a smile."

If you need a partner to tell you when to shave and cut your hair, your life sucks. Unless your partner is freaking Vidal Sassoon, you should never be told by a partner how to wear your hair. What the hell do 55-year-old straight corporate white men know about hair style?

But I love my leisure time with my sick children! How can I sacrifice it???

Also, that's a big wife.

The sycophant needs to lose some weight.

I have mad respect for Braun. Check out the other associates at the firm: Kip from Napoleon Dynamite; Chris Farley, a mom in her early 50's, and a dude in his mid-40's.

Yeah Braun. Which of the two partners is the one who yells at you from whom you have learned so so much? Please tell us.

"Business development is a lifetime commitment."

How big is your book Braun?

Granted our generation has an expectation of coddling. But some of the dumb pieces of shit that are partners have an expectation of results that doesn't square with reality. When you file every kind of motion in a case, just because you can, what the hell do you expect from the court except ire?

What a blockheaded douchebag.

Can someone refer me back to the original post that started the "in Texas I can afford a 3500 sq.ft., wife and drive a Lexis" line?

"While success is never guaranteed, you are now off to a good start." - an inflated sense of himself and the value of his advice.

As a senior associate, I never forget that my clients pay a lot for my work. And that comes out of their sales and their shareholder value. However, it does not mean that I am a machine that exists only to do their bidding. It means that I do good work and make myself available as best I can, and I pick my battles about when I have a personal life. If you work with decent people and provide reasonable expectations, they will let you have a personal life.

The other way to remedy this problem is to work in a large enough firm with a large enough team that you keep in the loop so that should you have a personal emergency, someone can step in for you. But of course, most partners self-aggrandize and project themselves as indispensable, so they could never conceive of letting their clients know that anyone other than them can handle the client work.

Many partners believe that every client request (and worse, every unreasonable deadline) must be met without debate. I'm sorry, but no. 90% of the time, they don't need the agreement by tomorrow. And if you provide good work product, good service and set reasonable expectations, you can have a productive and healthy relationship with clients.

3500 sq ft wife and a Lexis is the Texan dream.

Learn it.
Live it.
Love it.

PE is my favorite poster here. He's the main reason I come here; no joke.

Gentlemen at the legal preparatory academy with which I was once affiliated found themselves, upon the completion of their studies, affiliated with certain entities of statutory creation, typically in the form of limited liability partnerships, the stated purpose of which was to practice law. The gentlemen were subjected to torment and abuse from those senior to them in the aforementioned limited liability partnerships, and certain of those gentlemen concluded that such torment abuse had utility. Rather than simply utter the phrase "thank you sir, may I have another," these deluded gentlemen took it upon themselves to create cliche-ridden paeans to those who heaped such scorn upon them. This was not considered noteworthy or otherwise of material significance.

Legal Fraternity Lothario, his own self, suggests that those who are subject to such treatment consider their alternatives. While "biglaw" writ large (say, amlaw 200 or so) cannot be fairly or accurately described as humane, it is nonetheless possible to find people and places who at least utilize a bit of professionalism.

@63 - Do you do nude videos for parties?

how is this even a post?

let me break this down for you:

1. Elie has nothing to write about

2. Another website does

3. Elie writes inane, worthless commentary

a) this guy needs a total beat down. Not only is he an insufferable prig, he's stupid. In the end, your dog being dead will be a lot more important than turning comments on some document no one will ever look at. What a complete ass.

b) Is it me, or did Elie just have three good threads in one day? This thread, the wang thread and the Clinton thread were all good. Huzzah.

Lawyers are supposed to be professionals, like doctors. That's at least the theory. If your doctor whined about his dog dying before you were going in for triple bypass surgery, would you particularly care why he was giving you bad results? Or would you just find another doctor, fast?

Doctors generally work in groups, so one doctor can step in and handle another doctor's patients. That allows doctors to take vacations and have some personal life.

Why can't law firms handle these matters in the same way>

PE: I'm a bit disappointed you haven't figured out that it's not the unemployed footing the bill, it's YOU.

Elie: the plural of "crisis" is "crises."

What a fucking toolbag.

The point of being an associate is to pay off your loans - then to head for the exits as quickly as possible. Almost all partners at a respectable firm are complete, insufferable D-BAGS, and they all (even the cool ones) hate their lives. You do yourself a grave disservice by ever aspiring to be like them.

Every time I meet someone who's bought into the law firm cult, my jaw drops. How could anyone ever want this kind of life? Do NOT buy that condo, do NOT have those kids. Save your cash, pay off your loans, and run away as fast you possibly can. No outwardly successful lawyer is happy.

Seriously--this article is dead on. Especially the bit about the backpacks. You can't both give the partners the finger and expect to be promoted at the same time.

60 = the most reasonable comment I've ever seen on this blog.

6th year associate here, with no job security (flame away). I have a lot of friends, but am not making rain. Why? My friends are normal people. Can't make rain solving the legal problems of teachers and middle class folk. You want to make partner? Be prepared to lick the asses of the filthy rich, such as CEOs, general counsel of Goldman, Citi, etc. Otherwise, plan your exit strategy.

What does this guy know about being a partner? He's an ASSOCIATE at an 8-person Texas firm. I'd like to see this clown hold up at a real biglaw firm (meaning more than 8 people, hoss) in New York or DC.

And what's the ridiculous comment about backpacks?? Who in biglaw uses a backpack?? From his firm bio pic he could use some pointers on how to dress-- that tie looks like it came from the Mens Wearhouse Bargain Bin and a brown suit? Guy can't even dress himself.

@60 -- I think you're actually generally right. But there are notable exceptions. Some major clients are flaming assholes. Usually, that is b/c the Assistant GC you are dealing with failed at BigLaw, and is not good enough to be GC at the company. So he (almost uniformly a he) tries to take it out on your hide.

--10

--

67,

The urgency of a bypass and a loan agreement aren't remotely comparable. If I was scheduled for a routine checkup and my doctor had to reschedule due a family emergency or death, I wouldn't be looking for another doctor.

Yes, we're supposed to be professionals like doctors. But, the truth is that we're not anymore. Most of us are glorified MBA's, at best, or secretaries. And, whereas Americans are still gorging stupidly (Yes, I know, you're with "stupidly". Alright, good for you.) on cheeseburgers, they're passing on the credit, and we're fu*ked - kind of like the patients, actually.

The irony is that the work that is important enough to put you on the operating table probably will allow you a lifestyle decent enough that you can avoid it; and, the work that will put you in the hands of a surgeon probably isn't as valuable as any doctor's work.

74 is right, if you aren't a good ol' boy, you probably won't make partner.

lol someone should nalp this clown and send his post to his firm... if he really wants to think like a partner, he should be giving his firm some decent publicity, not spewing out this crap.

I bring my backpack to the office. I also have actual artwork hanging up in my office, rather than framed diplomas.

If someone hints that this is weird or unprofessional, I wait until they leave the room, pull out a piece of paper from my drawer with the word "Douchebags" written prominently at the top, and I add them to the list.

http://www.ajamie.com/ann-ryan-robertson/

http://www.ajamie.com/c-david-mee/

Who wants to bet that Texans can really show those Boston girls how to shart?

And, I feel like I should know this, but is University of Houston Law Center accredited?

This guy worked in biglaw for Haynes and Boone for two years. He obviously could not deal with something at a large law firm (or they could not deal with him) and left to go to an 8 attorney firm. He knows nothing of how to deal successfully with biglaw partners and should be ignored.

Keep talking trash NYC. I'm doing 50 hour weeks with job security.
-Biglaw H-Town Associate.

I don't care where this guy went to school. While I can quibble with a few points, this is generally very good advice for someone who wants to succeed in a law firm, or most anywhere else for that matter.

- 4th year Biglaw associate.

61- "3500 sq ft wife"

Ack! This enormous woman will kill us all!!!

What a dumbass. Success in Biglaw is get in, pay off your loans, get out.

First of all, for the record, I am a senior associate in a very large and prestigious firm that everyone knows and that hires mostly Harvard and Yale types. I'm not a law student or some recent lay-off victim. I work in a very challenging practice every day. And I find everything that Braun says hugely pathetic.

Words cannot describe my thoughts about the article posted by Braun; I almost feel sorry for the guy (never mind, I DO feel sorry for Braun). Have you guys actually checked out where this tool works? Some puny little craphole in Houston. Two partners! A middle-aged soccer mom as an associate and, yes, freakin' Chris Farley's reincarnation. This guy worked at TTT Haynes Boone for a couple of years and bolted for a miniscule excuse of a law firm. I actually thought this story was a joke when I first read it but now I am embarrassed for that poor douche Braun. I don't think I have ever read something so pathetic, so weak, so diffident, so worm-like. This guy sucks and he doesn't even know it. And does that law school he graduated from even exist? First time I ever heard of it. This moron actually thinks it's OK for a partner to yell at him? Dude, have some self-respect. And the reference to sick children just floors me - buddy, no offense, but your children do come first you a**hole. The world needs less people like this Braun.

And by the way, I have a really nice backpack that I bring to the office every day . . . and no body gives a f*ck!

The title of this post should be:

a) "How to Succeed in BigLaw and Fail in Life."
b) "How to Make Sure Your Wife Has Diamonds, a Nanny and an Affair"
c) "Make Sure Your Kids Need to See a Good Therapist"
d) "How To Make Sure That the Only Thing You'll Ever Having Going For You Is Your Job (But I Can't Even Guarantee That In This Economy"

people who lustily guzzle the Kool-Aide are so cute.

And some of this advice is just wrong: yellers are the best to work for? Not at my firm. Those who have so little control over their tempers and so little concern for associates are the first to throw you under the bus when it matters. Have fun with that come review time. There is little to be gained from working for such people. Really, being treated with respect and civility is not too much to ask. There are ways to point out mistakes and improve someone's work without throwing a temper tantrum.

Boston Chicks cannot control their flatulence. What else is there to debate?
They just stink. Let it go.

MsyTTTal

This guy is just the worst...
The Texas Bar Journal publishes crap like this every other issue or so, usually authored by some well-meaning douche bag in the Texas Young Lawyers Association, just chock full of tips on how to "succeed" in The Law. It's all the same. the ass-kising, the "get your homework done on time" sort of stuff.

Are all the associates from Haynes & Boone like this?
And why do Dallas lawyers have a reputation for nastiness that exceeds even their counterparts iin Houston?

This guy is just the worst...
The Texas Bar Journal publishes crap like this every other issue or so, usually authored by some well-meaning douche bag in the Texas Young Lawyers Association, just chock full of tips on how to "succeed" in The Law. It's all the same. the ass-kising, the "get your homework done on time" sort of stuff.

Are all the associates from Haynes & Boone like this?
And why do Dallas lawyers have a reputation for nastiness that exceeds even their counterparts iin Houston?

To be fair, if you look at the business rustled up by this guy's firm's name partner, it's high-dollar stuff for an eight-person firm. I suspect this firm has only one partner in practice, the guy whose name is on the door, and perhaps he's a yeller, and perhaps you'd better do exactly what the fuck he says while you're working there, and those are exactly the Daddy-hits-because-he-loves-you facts that lead to the development of the sort of complex that causes associates to write articles like these.

He'd probably kick 99%
of your asses in court!

The complainers here are pathetic. Truth of the matter is that mastering the practice of law requires effort and time. It is not easy, and it never will be. And it requires sacrifice.

If one wants to have weekends off, place family and friends first, and have "a life," then great. More power to them.

But there will be others who are willing to work later. To work on weekends. To give up going to funerals and weddings. Because they value being an attorney more. Because they want to learn how to be a great lawyer.

At the end of the day, the second group of lawyers will develop more skills that make them better lawyers than the first group simply because the second group has put in more effort. And why shouldn't that sacrifice be rewarded?

95 = http://www.ajamie.com/dona-szak/ ? Mom?

I Love PE, he's a wise, funny hoot!

96 - "And why shouldn't that sacrifice be rewarded?"

96, by rewarded do you mean being made partner where you have even more pressure to put in insane hours and give up the last vestiges of any meaningful life you may have had? The fun part is watching the numbers in your bank account get bigger while you don't get a chance to spend any of it except on the nice car that sits in the parking lot six days a week because you sleep at the office. No need to go home since your wife left you 15 years ago.

to 96: because they are a bunch of raging soul-less douchebags, that's why.

I am a female 0L about to attend NYU. I was there checking out the school and I had to take a tinkle (I had drank a few too many Starbucks shaken iced-tea lemonades). I went into the restroom, sat down, and started to do my business. The person in the stall next to me was sharting up a storm. It was ridiculously loud, but what made it even funnier was that it was yelling in Oriental the whole time.

Once the storm finally settled I guess it realized that she didn't have any TP in its stall. I had trouble understanding its broken English, but I guess it asked me to hand it some TP. All of a sudden this monstrous hand reached under my stall. Not having understood what it had just said, I nearly jumped off the toilet seat. I thought a freaking bear was grabbing at me. I finally figured out what it wanted and threw some at its man-hand.

After it cleaned itself up as best as it could, I think it said, "Uhhhh. I radder dink water tru straw up mah nose."

Any ideas who this creature might have been? Please advise. I am now extra worried about starting law school. Go class of 2012!!

Partner EmeriTTTus

60- great comment. I know many senior associates who recognize that clients are paying a small ransom for their time and have children they do not neglect and personal obligations they continue to meet. It is all about balance. It takes a toll on you and is at times elusive, but it can be achieved.

96- the insufferable gunners who make 2am emails to the client their mission (did you see what the wsj wrote this morning about x issue?) and 8pm urgent requests usually have no life to give up, regardless. these gunners are usually socially inept, cruel at work, counsel, whose peers steer clear from them in the hallways because they're incapable of talking about anything other than work. they may make partner, but they'll largely have no one to celebrate that with.

BIGLAW??? SINCE WHEN IS SEVEN LAWYERS CONSIDERED BIGLAW?

The untold part of this story are the many cases of alcoholism, drug abuse, divorce and mal-adjusted children that people who embrace this lifestyle have in store for them.

96 - Most lawyers I know, in-house and in private practice, are willing to put in nights and weekends when necessary to get the job done. I've encountered a few, almost always younger associates, who choose to do so when it is not necessary, and I can't say that alone makes them better lawyers.

Partners and clients appreciate these "work-horses," but they do not become partners or succeed in-house unless and until they learn some judgment along the way. Generally in order to get and retain clients you need to be able to interact with them on a personal level. And in order to do that you need a personal life.

The whining about big law abuses will stop when you realize that being part of a world class outfit was the best thing that ever happened to you and likely to be the glory days of a life twisted awry by economic storms that toss you like flotsam in raging seas. When your credit is scarred beyond repair and your 401K gets tapped out, those halcyon days in big law when you were important enough to get yelled at by a partner will seem sweet and memorable. At least you were something then. What will you do now? You have fancy degrees and lots of debt but no one is hiring. What would some of you not give to get an opportunity to suck up the big law ass-shaft abuse?

"I'll fuck you 'til you love me"

-Mike "Biglaw partner" Tyson

The concepts of personal sacrifice and zero-defect work are not isolated to BigLaw. Practicing the law is a profession, not a job. The stakes are higher, so the expectations are too. This guy's comments are a carbon-copy of things I heard as a junior officer in the military. And I imagine doctors receive similar guidance.

Bottom line: Braun's article (read in its entirety) is pretty sound advice. With one exception: good leaders don't need to yell at anybody to make them work harder; good leaders are those for whom people want to work harder.

If everyone simply followed his advice, there would have been no layoffs or deferrals. Duh.

If everyone simply followed his advice, there would have been no layoffs or deferrals. Duh.

If everyone simply followed his advice, there would have been no layoffs or deferrals. Duh.

41, you definitely made the right decision. I finally left after missing seeing my dying grandmother because the partner in charge was on vacation and wouldn't give me the hours I needed away from the office to see her. I tried for 8 weeks to get time off--working over 100 hours a week and having to fly internationally. No joke--I only slept one night in my own bed the week my grandmother finally died. The partner then yelled at everyone when he got back because he said he was the partner and he was in a bad mood and he could do what he wanted. Sadly, this is only one of the countless deranged stories I could tell when I was an associate at this firm that touts itself as one of the best. This is the reality of biglaw.

I knew I'd already read this somewhere: "There's No 'My Kid Has Cancer' In Team":

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33292

This is such a silly commentary to be posting at a time like this. To spend a lifetime being screamed at and neglecting your sick children only to be 70 years old and screaming at associates because you can't afford to retire. What's the point?

There is a middle ground. You don't have to sacrifice the health of you children or miss seeing your dying grandmother to be a good lawyer. You also don't have to work every night and every weekend. However, you might have to miss the occasional wedding, party, or weekend trip, and you'll certainly be in the office SOME nights, Saturdays, and Sundays. The idiot who wrote that article is speaking in extremes, and, frankly, I think he drafted it as an exercise in ego-stroking.

I, like the author, am an associate at a boutique, downton Houston firm. I have never heard of this dude or his firm, and neither has anyone in my office. He may have had to give up his life to advance his career...I, however, have arguably the same position as him in a comparable and geographically similar institution, and I have a great life. Looks like his grand-standing and ass kissing didn't do that much for him after all.

The complainers here are pathetic. Truth of the matter is that mastering the practice of law requires effort and time. It is not easy, and it never will be. And it requires sacrifice.

If one wants to have weekends off, place family and friends first, and have "a life," then great. More power to them.

But there will be others who are willing to work later. To work on weekends. To give up going to funerals and weddings. Because they value being an attorney more. Because they want to learn how to be a great lawyer.

At the end of the day, the second group of lawyers will develop more skills that make them better lawyers than the first group simply because the second group has put in more effort. And why shouldn't that sacrifice be rewarded?

Agreed.

I'd agree with his points about sacrifice more if he hadn't picked such weird examples. Sick kids? Yes, they come first. Period. Examples about missing weddings or funerals also sound pretty extreme - those are respected at my firm (I have taken my laptop to a few out of town weddings and worked during the day, but that's doable).

If the guy had written about people cutting out because of dates, social events, etc., that would make more sense. Sometimes, that's necessary. Don't bail on the partner and senior associate who are at work trying to get a filing done because you have a date with Muffy.

24 makes a great point. Braun apparently think that the only reason people try to avoid mistakes is because they might get chewed out. however, real professionals don't need to be screamed at in order to remember their mistakes.

i put out my best effort b/c i'm paid (well) to do so, not b/c some partner might get mad at me if i screw up.

Braun is right on one point...think of partners as clients. if you wouldn't submit a piece of work to a client, don't submit it to a partner.

"In a profession full of type-A personalities, most associates will work for partners who get visibly angry at something an associate does. They may even work for the dreaded partner who shouts at associates for making mistakes. In my opinion, those are the best partners because when you make a mistake, you will never forget it."

What a grade A shmuck. Where does that publication find these idiots?

It is apparent that he never has worked for such a partner because if he did he would not be spouting such drivel. I worked for one such partner and there was absolutely no justification for the torture I endured. I still shudder when I remember the daily verbal abuse I suffered at the hands of that sociopath. I learned absolutely nothing substantive from working for that asshole. The only good that came of it is that I found the guts to leave that firm and vowed to never take that crap from anyone again. I kept that promise to myself and I make 3 times as much working in a much better place where I am treated with respect.

It is worth saying again, what a shmuck...

Great post, 88!

It is interesting that everyone assumes the advice relates to Biglaw. The article never mentions Biglaw and is applicable to any law firm setting.

I second #116 - Being currently employed at a top 15 firm (and being somewhat senior), I can tell you there is certainly a middle ground. Yes, there are times one has to put in the long nights and weekends - that's just the nature of the game. But what Braun writes is really about lack of self-respect and self-esteem.

I am puzzled by his defenders in these postings. Are you mostly law students that haven't yet tasted reality? If so, you love of gunning will hit reality pretty soon. And as for the one that continue gunning years into a law firm: yes, some are successful, but many, many of them pay an heavy personal price for that success (a price too high for my taste).

Heck, even the Gestapo was able to recruit willing officers; there will always be Brauns in the world.

Given the number of associates who enjoy ranting here, I thought this post about the article from another law blog would be enlightening:

"An associate who doesn’t think this is helpful is already half out the door. In 20+ years as a partner in a “Big Law” firm, I always was amazed that you could tell within a few weeks who would be a success, who wouldn’t, and who could go either way. It was about an even split. Ultimately, successful associates did early on what partners did. They took responsibility for their work, acting like lawyers for clients and not help for the firm. And they established good relations with clients and learned how to attract them. In today’s world, where the basic unit is the practice and not so much the firm, it is equally important to find a mentor and to make oneself indispensable to her practice. Working hard is never more than a means to an end. No associate was ever made partner because they worked hard. Partners aren’t paid bonuses on their hours, and associates ultimately advance because someone thinks they’ll make good partners. If an associate wants to be a partner, it is helpful to get used to thinking like one. If not, this article wasn’t for you to begin with."

62 and 98, I couldn't agree with you more!!! PE's sense of humour totally rocks....am really grateful to his associates for slaving away hard enough so as to free PE up to write his comments :-)

Yep, he's totally right. Big law associates should not even think about having a life, family, etc. You should work a minimum of 120 hours a week. Heck, you should probably just permanently move into your closet sized office.
You should never socialize w/ anyone outside of the firm. Although this would be totally unacceptable in any other profession, when a partner screams at you, you should realize that this is his way of helping you to grow as an attorney.

I'm guessing the guy who wrote this memo takes a lot of PICTURES of himself flexing.

Idiots like Braun perpetuate the myth that having partners scream at you and belittle you (regardless of your performance) and demand around-the-clock access to you is just to be expected of a Biglaw junior associate. I worked for a year with such an individual, fielding cell phone calls on vacation, at my sister's wedding, on weekends. In most of these instances there was nothing pressing for me to work on (which is why I wasn't in the office, where he often required me to be just to keep him company) -- he just wanted to know where I was and yell at me for not being "accessible" to him at that particular moment. "What if something CAME UP?" he'd yell, and I, chastened, would apologize for my absence (though again, there was nothing for me to work on at the time). Stockholm Syndrome is an apt description of my reaction to that nightmare, since, like many junior associates, at the time I defended his actions to my peers as wholly justified and meant to make me a "better lawyer". Since Braun and his ilk make such behavior acceptable, most associates (including me) either leave or dial down their involvement at Biglaw to save their sanity, which means the assholes win.

31,

Where did I say that in my post? When a client calls an associate directly with a new issue/question or requests that a specific associate work on their matter, that is usually judged to be "strong potential", no matter what the color or sex of that associate is. If the associate manages to generate some business on their own, no matter how small or meager it is, again, this shows potential. And again, originations have no color or gender.

But if you want to cry about race/gender bias in biglaw, get in line. Because that one stretches around the block.

- 18

119 = PE

As both a lawyer and a part owner of a (non-law-related) small business, I have to say this guy's general idea is on point (whether or not he's qualified to say it).

In our small business, there are a few select employees who look out for the company, go the extra mile, come up with new ideas, and generally put the company first (and not FIRST as in ahead of their children, but first as in, they actually give a shit about the company; for example, if we are overpaying for something, or a mistake has been made, they will stay late to fix the problem, without being asked to do so. They create efficiency and actively figure out ways to save the company money, without being asked, etc).

Then there are those who do the bare minimum. Needless to say, the company promotes those employees who look out for the company. We give those folks bonuses, because frankly, the company depends on them. Everyone else is fungible. Seems like that kind of work ethic, the one Braun is generally talking about, would serve driven people well in any business.

It has served me well as an associate in my small firm. I have come up with numerous ideas to increase profitability and exposure for the firm. I purposefully get to know my clients and invest myself in their cases. All of a sudden, it's not hard to work long hours, not because anyone asked me to, but because I actually give a shit. As a result, I've been given more responsibility, and more $$. I don't view myself as simply firm "help," I've made it so that I am part of the firm's success.

But is this really possible in Biglaw? Perhaps in spite of the title, Braun's insights are best suited for those entrepreneurial types who want to be partners in small/mid law?

here's an idea, rather than pick on the poor deluded bastard, why don't we send him some jars of Vaseline or tubes of K-Y.

What's wrong with wearing a backpack to work?

Screamers do make the best partners, but this guy is at the office too much to figure that out.

If you look at his picture, it all makes sense:

http://www.ajamie.com/jason-a-braun/

The backpack remark screams birther to me. "People today have no morals or discipline." "We must save our nation from jihad." etc.

Wow, sounds like someone's trying to make partner, haha.

"Some associates complain ad nauseam about partners who criticize their appearance or yell at them. They whine about the long hours the partners demand and are indignant that partners refuse to listen to their ideas regarding a case.

Don't be one of those associates."

True. Just fucking quit and leave these psychos behind. Seriously.

A 3500 sq. ft. wife? Is there not a limit to "there's more of me to love?"

He looks like Buzz Lightyear.

Three words sum up Jason Braun:

* What
* A
* Tool