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Legal Love Triangle We Wish We Hadn’t Heard About

icky love triangle in vinton above the law.jpgStalking, cat fights, cheating, assault, and a secret marriage. This is the scandalous news out of Vinton, Virginia (pop: 7,782) this week, thanks to a lawyer-lawyer-paralegal love triangle.

If you surf over to WDBJ to check out the tale, we advise watching the video and skipping the transcribed broadcast. It hurt our head to translate it. And it hurt our eyes to Photoshop the image at right — click to enlarge (if you dare).

Two bankruptcy law attorneys, Jeffrey Kessler and Ann Marie Miller (an Appalachian School of Law ‘06 grad), had been partnering on cases and in the bedroom. Ick. Apparently, Kessler then started secretly dating a younger woman, paralegal Jennifer Kelley.

That’s when things got messy — and, allegedly, violent.

In May, Miller found out that Kessler and Kelley were seeing each other, when Kelley told her the two were engaged. Miller allegedly attacked Kelley on the street, and was charged with disorderly conduct.

Before the court date for that charge, Miller paid a visit to Kessler’s home and discovered Kelley was living there. Shocker! Kelley and Kessler were actually already married, having tied the knot in April. Miller allegedly attacked Kelley again, resulting in a felony charge for breaking & entering and assault.

A felony charge… and dumped for a paralegal. Could things get worse? Yes. Apparently Miller has complaints against her piling up at the State Bar because of cases she’s neglected.

We wish it were a hot legal love triangle. But these Wild Things are not Matt Dillon/Neve Campbell/Denise Richards-lookalikes. Sigh, real life is just so ugly sometimes.

A local lawyer deals with legal problems of her own [WDBJ]

Comments

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1 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:22 PM

Well....at least this article was well written.

Better than Elle

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2 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:22 PM

Whose Firsty? I am!!

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3 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:24 PM

Like Donald Trump once said, crazy chicks are hot in bed.

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4 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:26 PM

Ooof. I clicked to enlarge. These are not pretty people.

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5 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:29 PM

And, then there was irony . . . .

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6 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:34 PM

Dear #4--you have got that right.

Granted, i am relying on the Springer Show for my information, but why is the "hot" indeal from these white trash venues any female over 200lb--the uglier the better?

Is it a case of picking out a girl who resembles mom, who as we speak is padding arround the single wide (or in case of the upper clase families, a double wide) in a bathrobe, fuzzy slippers, a lit Cool menthol in one hand and a highball in the other?

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7 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:36 PM

How much bankruptcy work can there possibly be in a city of less than 8,000?

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8 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:36 PM

We get it, Kash: you think you're pretty. Must you be a bully, too?

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9 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:36 PM

Seriously? That's considered unattractive? Must be a slow day here.

Although it looks like David Lat's bitchiness remains on ATL. He's posted some examples of his superficiality on his on Facebook. http://stfugays.tumblr.com has a pretty good example...

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10 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:37 PM

I understand his choice. Miller was probably selfish as all hell in bed, like most lawyers. Kessler would hate that, as I think it's safe to assume he's a freak. Kelley - who I should point out has infinitely better skin than Miller - would let him do it all, maintaining her role as submissive.

Any idea what law schools they went to?

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11 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:38 PM

I'm from Vinton, VA, and to tell you the truth, I'd hit Ann Marie or Jennifer, but I'm already married to my sister.

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12 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:41 PM

The horror... the horror...

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13 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:51 PM

Kash, how often do you get laid?

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14 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:56 PM

"I will take option C please."
"Option C is a goat."
"Like I said, option C please."

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15 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:58 PM

I know a bunch of people from Vinton. (Went to school in Lexington.) The people I knew were better looking. Incidentally, Roanoke is not a bad city. Vinton is a burb thereof.

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16 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 5:58 PM

Not very classy, Kash.

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17 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:00 PM

Hey, she was top 20% at the Appalachian School of Law and Inbreeding... http://www.annmariemilleresq.com/About_Our_Attorney.html

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18 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:03 PM

This is going to make the Vinton County Family Reunion very very awkward.

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19 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:05 PM

I suppose I should know the answer to these questions, but is Appalachian School of Law accredited by the American Bar Association? Is Appalachian School of Law a member in good standing of the Association of American Law Schools?

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20 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:05 PM

Glass houses.

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21 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:07 PM

That's when the fight began . . .

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22 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:07 PM

I love Billy Joel

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23 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:09 PM

I dont know what it is like to have a good woman. But then again, I am hung like a light switch. Generally, that doesnt bother me, but every now and again I get upset when I catch myself peeing on my balls

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24 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:13 PM

Mybe the dude was simply under the influence of a toxic mux of Absolut and Anbesol, much like that crazy taconic crash bitch. He'd have to be to stick his pecker in that fatty.

25 Posted by Government Lawyer | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:14 PM

22, I was at Saladworks for lunch today, and I found myself humming the melody to Downeaster Alexa, while daydreaming about this rosewood and maple chess set I am currently in the process of constructing in my spare time. I, too, like Billy Joel. Great minds must think alike, huh?

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26 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:19 PM

What is the over/under on how many times a month Kash has sex?

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27 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:21 PM

26

0 with lat

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28 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:21 PM

Every time Kash has sex a LOL kitten dies.

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29 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:24 PM

5, 8, 13, 16 and 26 score.

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30 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:27 PM

Rumor has it that Lat has gerbil issues. Any truth to that?

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31 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:29 PM

...and that's why you should never trust anyone with a gotee

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32 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:35 PM

Kash is saving herself for marriage.

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33 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:44 PM

Kash is king.

30: gerbil rumors are sooo 1980's....

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34 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:55 PM

Shallow, Kash.

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35 Posted by bad_idea_bears | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:55 PM

Hooking up with business partners is a WONderful idea. It's convenient and efficient. If you don't keep it in house, you're just wasing time in the long run.

--BIBs

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36 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 6:56 PM

Lat loves pink love triangles.

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37 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 7:05 PM

Wait - from the link in 18's post, she graduated college at age 18? Was she so smart she skipped high school, or somethin'? So, she went to Appalachia? After being a paralegal?? I would've expected more from someone graduating college at 18.

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38 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 9:03 PM

get over it ... beauty is always just a light switch away

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39 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, August 13, 2009 10:38 PM

9 - ATL has always been bitchy. If you don't like it, don't read it.

One excellent alternative:

http://www.abajournal.com/

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40 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 8:40 AM

I'm pretty sure that both attorneys involved with to Appalachian School of Law.

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41 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 9:11 AM

"How much bankruptcy work can there possibly be in a city of less than 8,000?"

More than you think, but probably not what you're thinking.

Ok, that was unnecessarily cryptic, but the point is that Bankruptcy lawyers all over the country are getting a ton of work right now. Most of it is individual chapter 7's and 13's, which is the bread and butter of any bankruptcy lawyer outside of NY/LA/Chicago/Houston.

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42 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 9:40 AM

14: ROFL!...you win! ;-)

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43 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 10:16 AM

I think he made an excellent choice. I love curvy women, and the paralegal has a much prettier face than that skinny, coke-head lawyer bitch.

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44 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 11:19 AM

Wassup with you guys ? Clearly you have never been to Family Court, as biglaw hothouse flowers.

News Flash...unattractive folks have sex too ! (usually with other unattractive folks).

I find it more funny that lawyers resorted to violence. Still, it's not a surprise as unattractive folks have less opportunity to get some.

I second the move for round females. Skinny chicks are like a bag of hangars :)

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45 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 11:22 AM

Kash,

I don't think that you are a bitch, but in this article you sound like one.

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46 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 11:39 AM

"bag of hangers." OMG, that's hilarious. So damn true though. I'm stealing it.

The reason so many successful models are skin and bones is *not* because most men like 'em skinny. It's because most fashion designers, who hire the models, are gay and would rather look at the a skinny boy-ish looking female then a beautiful, curvaceous woman.

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47 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 1:14 PM

46 -- "Curvy"? That woman is fat. Technically, a sphere* is curved, yes, but that doesn't entitle anyone to hijack "curvy" as a synonym for "obese."

I bring this up only to correct your homophobia-laced attempt to redefine "curvaceous" to mean "big tub of goo."


*see a minute-thirty-five into the video. And put down the cruller.

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48 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 10:04 PM

It's not a good picture of Ann Marie. She's actually quite pretty. At the time the photo was taken, she'd been in jail for two days. She's attractive in other photos.

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49 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 14, 2009 10:04 PM

It's not a good picture of Ann Marie. She's actually quite pretty. At the time the photo was taken, she'd been in jail for two days. She's attractive in other photos.

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50 Posted by guest | Permalink Tuesday, August 18, 2009 6:36 PM

Appalachian School of Law is fully accredited by the American Bar Association. Like most newer law schools, it is not yet a member of the Association of American Law Schools. It has not yet applied for membership (a relatively expensive process).

FYI, both Kessler and Miller graduated from the Appalachian School of Law.

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51 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, August 28, 2009 4:40 PM

$100 says that guy rocks a pony tail...

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52 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 25, 2009 1:10 PM

I hope Ann Marie was able to punch that fat cow a couple of times. Personally I would of messed the bitch up. And then I would of gone after "him".

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53 Posted by guest | Permalink Monday, September 28, 2009 8:27 PM

GITTTTTTT-RRRRRRRR-DONEEEEEEEEEEE

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