Everybody, please use cannabis responsibly. It is less harmful than alcohol health-wise, but you still are more prone to accidents if you abuse or use too much of it. Treat it like alcohol

Thank you,

1 from the morning docket

Word on the street is that V&E Houston offered 30/78 summers...Follow up on this ATL.

Julie & Julia was GREAT!!!

Celestine Prophecy,

If the partners are cool, they'll be very forgiving since everyone knows there isn't much billable work. Hopefully they have been long running a tight ship and aren't actually considering firing attorneys because of this temporary downturn. It is hard to know what the culture is like at your particular firm... so it is hard to say what exactly will happen.

Also, if it does get brought up at performance review, do mention what you believe the problem is. Be honest. But do it in a way that doesn't sound like you're trying to make excuses. In the next breath, ask if you may seek out or engage in pro bono work or firm investment work to make up the hours. Perhaps even offer, in private, to take less pay if the going gets tough (if the situation deems that a relevant thing to mention).

Kane

I am not as gay as you think.

D Lat

6 - I saw Lat at Fire Island last weekend, drinking something fruity. It doesn't get much gayer than that.

Word on the street is that PE is facing some serious legal problems stemming from a nude frolic in Martha's Vineyard in the past month. Being caught with the schlong of a pasty white elderly male by a four year old is not good for your career.

You wanted nude (no sex though), you should have gone to Aquinnah instead of Chilmark.

Coke on a Friday, bitches!

And Lat, you are probably gayer than I think.

Assuming your firm has a pro bono policy, load up on that stuff to make up as much of your 200 hour deficit as possible.

If that fails, rent "Soul Man" this weekend. I think you'll know what to do.

Celestine Prophecy,

The only way you will absolutely get fired is if you work for Jones Day. If you are, we will find out - you will have no excuse. After all, we are booming; didn't you get the memo?

Jones Day Managing Partner

Celestine Prophecy,

Is your father a partner at the firm?

NY Latham First Year SECURE

Wait, what does Marin have against Meryl Streep?

Some more ideas for Celestine Prophecy, from someone who went through a similar experience 8 years ago:

If the firm in question gives partial or full billable credit for pro bono work, consider picking some up. If you will get credit for time spent writing articles, book chapters, presentations, etc. for partners, ask around if any of the partners in your group or in other groups need research or writing assistance on any publications or presentations. (And then push to get your name on the final product along with the partner's. Most halfway decent partners will let you have co-writing credit, which you canthen put on your resume.)

The point is you want to walk into that review and say that yes, maybe you only had ~1700 hours this year but you also spent a few hundred hours working on all these other things that brought value to the firm and kept your skills sharp. They might still lay you off because firms are often shortsighted jerks about this sort of thing, but they'll have to think twice about doing it to you as opposed to someone who didn't even try to get other opportunities and spent their extra free time shopping or crafting a fantasty football team.

I would advise against the "steal the work-hoarders' work while they're on vacation" advice given above, however. That sort of poaching tends to come back to bite you. Make yourself available when the partners and senior associates need assistance, sure, but don't be that person who waits for the 3rd year to go on her honeymoon and then immediately suggests to the partner that you could get the other associate's document review done before she gets back. People will hate you, may have incentive to sabotage you and throw you under the bus, and even if they aren't that cutthroat it will just make your coworkers work even harder to keep you out of their cases and assignments. Probably not worth the 80 hours max. of work you might get out of the deal.

Celestine,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWhUqo9Aivs

seriously. you'll feel better. let me know if you need some.

Alternatively, you could see the writing on the wall and leave on your terms. If you have an uncle with the Nassau County department of sanitation, now would be a good time to contact him for a job.

Celestine,

You are screwed. Spend the extra free time shopping or crafting a fantasty football team.

PE

Has anyone noticed that Elie has been absent from the sight the past few days, and its quality is immeasurably improved? Amazing.

Has anyone noticed that Elie has been absent from the site the past few days, and its quality is immeasurably improved? Amazing.

any NYC associate billing under 2K hours should be fired immediately.

What does your mentoring, protective partner with a large book of business tell you?

Oh, you do not have a mentoring, protective partner with a large book of business telling you things?

Well, I have some bad news for you.

Proskauer gives a philosophy handout to incoming attorneys, noting that the firm expects them to do many non-billable tasks -- bar association activities, pro bono, getting involved with firm administration, social events with clients or other lawyers, and on and on. Impress your favorite partner by asking for information on such things, and fill up the non-billable hours with them.

18/19--We saw what you did there! You were busting Elie's chops for his mistakes, and then you go and say "absent from the sight"....

So you hurriedly posted again with the correct word "site" thinking we wouldn't see that. But, ummm, yeah, we saw that...

Hoisted on your own retard...

--Not Elie

It was not a good idea to eat acid and watch Hostel 2. I think I hurt my brain and now I am really jumpy.

Use the spare time wisely - CLEs, write an article for a partner with institutional clients, offer to help partners prepare presentations for pitches or panels, etc. There is always pro bono. Show that you are being responsible and using the down time in a productive manner. You are likely not the only first year in this position at your firm, but you can separate yourself from others who are not doing these things. It can only help if your firm has to do layoffs. And it will feel good to be busy.

WAIT, what?

If the firm isn't in trouble financially, and your work product and reviews are good, why would you assume you would be fired for not meeting your hours? Is that a stated policy or something?

Even if you're clocking in at less than 1500, you show potential, and they've sunk a lot of resources in recruiting and training you. Why do you assume they're looking for a reason to shitcan you?

You might as well hang on for as long as you can. There is nothing out there and if new issuance activity does not pick up soon on Wall Street there will be even less than what we are seeing now on the job front. Right now, New York firms are surviving on the fees they get from administering the numerous SPEs that Wall Street created. But if securitization does not get restarted by the end of this year, some large conduits might start winding down and that will remove a large chunk of most firms’ revenues.

This could be your last bite of the cherry so enjoy it while it lasts. Pare down your living expenses and save as much as you can now. If there is no work to go around it means that people will have to be shot and it might just be you. From the looks of things, it really is just a matter of time. The optimists are way off when they talk about a ‘recovery’. Frankly, I am not even sure if we are anywhere close to the bottom yet.

All your Merrill docs....? FAIL

27, the drop in the unemployment rate, fewest jobs lost in over a year, and increase in the stock market isn't enough for you? I agree it won't be back to where it was a couple years ago anytime soon, but what makes you think we have yet to see the bottom?

"All your Merrill docs are belong to us"? Elie's posting under Lat's name.

Take 14's advice and, in addition, use as much of your large salary as you can to pay down your loans.

14 - great advice!

#27 = best advice I've seen. We all need to rebalance our finances and start saving. There might be a recovery, but it will be nothing like we expect. The days of wasteful spending are gone forever.

I think law firms are having second thoughts about all the lay-offs, deferred starts and pay cuts and so on. Hence, they'll overcompensate by being extra forgiving to associates who are still around but fail to make their hours.

Now is probably a good time to take a few weeks off--blow off the Memo on the new Executive Comp proxy rules.

--the 3rd year down the hall

@10 - Soul Man! Best. Movie. Ever.

totally disagree with 14, but it's probably a no earplugs allowed in the MPRE, but earplugs allowed in the Bar kind of disagreement. I have actual experience that my firm did not care at all that people went around and collected a bunch of non-billable useful work to make up for a complete absence of work and encouraged (and in fact downright criticized people for not doing this) people to be agressive about finding work at whatever cost. needless to say, that firm would have frowned upon an associate knowing a doc review needed to be completed but left it undone bc the associate initially responsible was on maternity leave. both associates in deep shit at that firm. oh, and maternity leave was also frowned upon. no shit. point is that i really question whether anyone here can give you meaningful advice because different firms really do have different cultures.

29, if you believe that the current jump in the stock market means that the economy is getting better, you need to think twice. Traders make the stock market as they want it to be, to make money on a day to day basis. They do not care whether a company performs well or not when they speculate on its stocks based on macro-economic data unrelated to the industry it belongs to. Is it normal for you that the value of many of the stocks out there is the same today as it was three years ago when the economy was booming?

27 is right. we're still at least 6 months from the bottom.

If you "give up" now, that is failure for certain and could hold to be the reason for a termination. Stick with it and prove you have-what-it-takes!

36 here again and I totally agree that you should definitely not give up, but you need to find someone legitimately "in the know" who can tell you precisely what to do given the firm's culture. and it may indeed be that there is nothing that you can do.

Don't freak out. Wait for your performance review and see what happens. They may not even make a big deal out of it. Even if they do, that means you've probably got at least six months' worth of paychecks coming your way. Just keep being tedious about asking for work (so that it looks as though you care) and, as somebody mentioned earlier, try not to get depressed and use your time to benefit your professional development, i.e. CLEs, articles, etc. Even if you get a bad review in the fall, just start looking for a job. Firms are pretty don't ask, don't tell about that kind of stuff, so you don't have to approach potential employers and say "Shit, I got fired. Will you hire me?"

I wonder if there is an appropriate nautical amorphism that a former basketball player would apply to this situation?

The legal market typically trails the economy by at least 6 months. Things will not improve until mid-2010.

23 --

I don't care aout Elie's mistakes. It's more the political polemicization in and low quality of his reporting that I can do without.

Um, I don't know who wrote the "Matthew Wilder" portion of the "advice", but it seemed pretty clear to me that Celestine is 200 off pace, not 200 shy of the total.

There is no earthly way I am going to make my 12-month hours target, but my firm offers a 3/4 pro-rated measuring year for 1st years and if things keep going the way they are (220+ every month since May), I will hit that mark. Fingers crossed.

14 has the best advice so far. Just try to tread water and pick up some professional development or pro bono work.

You may luck out and things could pick up by the time your review comes along. The firm would probably look favorably on your efforts during the summer, and be hesitant to let you go if things were on the uptick.

ITE people are very protective of their work, and if you go around poaching you are sure to make long term enemies.

Bug the hell out of the work hoarding partners for more work. Save all the emails. Bring them to your review.

Partners don't like to be reminded daily that they're paying an associate to sit on their thumbs. Hurts their bottom line. Might move them to pry their grubby little fingers off a couple cases and give you something to bill.

In 2002, I graduated second to last in my class (401/403) from UC Hastings.

48

And you're a public defender in Bakersfield, right?

28 / 30 - You need to get familiar with your internet memes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_your_base_are_belong_to_us

I was laid off by latham as a first year after working there for four months. Every day I think of suicide.

Good luck!

Dear First Year,

You need to be sure you did all you could to find work. For example, if any partner asked you to take an assignment and you declined, then any hours shortfall will be attributed to you. In an economy like this, you do not have the luxury of saying no to assignments, even if it means that you might have to work late or on a weekend. Work does not always appear from clients at the most convenient time, so if a partner/senior associate offers you work (a sign that they aren't hoarding), the take it. Do not talk about everything else you have to do. No one wants to hear it. Suck it up and find the time to do the work. At the end of the year, you will be happy you did.

One other thing, if your hours suck, be thoughtful about taking a vacation. On the one hand, it may seem dumb not to take one if the office is slow and you are entitled to it. On the other, if you have a project and know that you will have work during the targeted vacation time, think about taking vacation at a different time.

There are two second years in my office, both of whom have low hours and both of who have declined litigation work. I have asked them to take work more than once. They are both nice and smart and I want to work with them. They also seem to be the ones complaining about the lack of work in the office and expressing concern about earning their deferred compensation.

Their unwillingness to take the work shows me that they have no concept of what it takes to survive. At this point, they are done as far as I am concerned. Dead associates walking...

53--you are a lying sack of shit. Any associate that is dangerously low on hours is willing to take any work given to them. These people are fucking stupid.

53 here, I am not lying. It happened a week ago. Not quite sure how you can speak to the willingenss of people if you were not part of the conversation.

54, what would be the point of posting such a lie here? That makes no sense.

I hate to break it to you guys, but this downturn is going to have more of a long term impact than anyone is counting on. Many firms during the heyday implemented mandatory retirement dates, to make way for the up and coming. Well folks, for the partners who took probably close to a 30% hit last year in their portfolios, they are going to have to work longer then in the past, don't think those partners are going to go gently in the night. So, just because the dow is up and the leading indicators are pointing to a recovery, the vast loss of wealth will impact the legal profession for years. Partners eat their young, remember?