In December 2010, I accidentally piss all over Kash's work station. I work out an agreement with her that if she didn't tell Lat, I would stop stealing her lunch from the office refrigerator at least twice week.

This delayed my inevitible firing for two full years.

First to say PisssTTTOL

I would rather wet myself with dignity than have an entire partnership take a hot steamy Latham all over my career.

Hasn't she ever heard of Astronaut Diapers?

I wonder if this lady is single. On the plus side, if she is $1.5 million richer after winning this case, she would be quite a catch. On the downside, she pisses in her pants. Tough call.

I didn't know a receptionist could have a 'career'. But, I don't see the problem here, she really should have just gotten up & if she got fired, then she would have a real live lawsuit, instead of the pretend one she actually filed.

So, imagine taking her deposition in this case. She asks for a break in the middle of a tough question. What do you do?

I just wet myself.

Will Ellie comment on Future Ellie or will this somehow disrupt the time-space continuim?

I laughed so hard at Future Ellie I pissed myself.

Future Ellie is hilarious. There's so much you can do with this. Does future Ellie have future homeless babies?

Roxana's ears perk up -- "so you mean her job is open now?"

The benefits package at my firm provides an adult diaper stipend along with full coverage for colostomy procedures.

Future Elie blows. Picture is funny...guy writing commentary is not. What a waste of a great idea.

Anyone seen Past Elie?

The firm's defense "When she said "I have to go to the little girl's room" they thought she was answering the phone "Littler Firm"

I'd bet that "Landrith would like Littler Mendelson is pay her $1.59 million," if that sentence made any grammatical sense.

12 - Get a life.

@17

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Go kill yourself.

How do you search for a stock photo of someone who needs to pee?

How do you search for a stock photo of someone who needs to pee?

Please let me out. I need to relieve myself.

get jake and partner emeritus back. These other characters dilute the humor.

17,

Are you that guy at the office that constantly drops horrifically terrible, awkward jokes...the kind where people have to lightly chuckle but, on the inside, are nervous to be around you because you're such a loser?

LiTTTler

8 wins the thread.

17 wins a quick death, if he's lucky.

Working as a young legal secretary (not the old hag types that generally hang around many of the big firms) isn't easy. I once had a partner who would constantly stare at my breasts all day. The creepy bastard thought my eyeballs were attached to my titties and not my eye sockets.

"What a woman."

Let me be the first to declare this plaintiff "all wet"

I'm actually having a very difficult time believing there is a human being on this planet that decided it was a good idea to make the "Littler Firm" comment @17. Is this guy pulling a fast one on us, the ole' so not-funny it's funny routine?

Whatever, you people have no sense of humor. People who can successfully employ a play on words are much more intelligent than average, and are used to others looking down on them.

I guess what I'm saying is, use a pun, go to Yale.

-- 17.

Reading this has seriously made me need to get up and piss.

And WTF kind of sentence is "In any event, Landrith would like Littler Mendelson is pay her $1.59 million"

Did Elie really write this? It's not in his "voice."

Future Ellie > *

George W Bush worked in the mailroom at Baker Botts.

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20041011/bryce/single

Wow.

I was sitting in the park peeing in a fountain and a cop comes up to me and says, "Mam you need to put your pants back on. You aren't supposed to pee in a public fountain like that"

So the cop is leaving and I put my pants on but I'm laughing hysterically. Finally the cop says "What are you laughing at?" and I say "I put my pants on but I didn't stop!"

TGIF Everyone

-17.

33-It's the kind of sentence written by someone who didn't deserve to get into law school, let alone a top ranked school, but got in because of the color of his skin.

Lipstick on a pig, so to speak.

What is her cause of action?

QUINN MAKES STAINS

Using the restroom in the Cabaret will cost you extra.

On the plus side though, we can arrange for company while you're in there.

I can see 17 still laughing, all alone, over his awesome joke even now.

Asperger's. Its a hell'uva syndrome.

Future Ellie rules!!! (pronounced "future L.E." , I think) The photo is crazy good.

39 - Drink some prune juice, and just let it go.

Elie,

Layoffs at Winston and Strawn this weekend - certainly staff, some attys too. All 2 days after Winston was trashed in the Tribune for getting paid too much money from Chicago for legal fees. No correlation, but a bad week for these folks. This is already on JD journal.

17 -- Dad, I had no idea you read this blog.

Now I see why this firm is called Hitler Mengele.

"I'd pay cash money to have seen the look on that guy's face when the receptionist walked in and told him she'd been peeing in the lobby -- and then blamed the firm for the situation."

awesome

Why is this even a story? Is it surprising or something that a firm that specializes in representing big business against workers would treat its employees like shit--I mean piss?

If this happened to me, I wouldn't be yellow and hold my feelings in. I'd go straight to the managing partner and release a hot stream of profanity. I'd tell him, "urine trouble now" and that I was hiring a legal whiz, who would sue the firm for assault and bladdery.

40, she'll lose on IIED, but disposition of the counterclaim will likely depend on whether "common enemy" or "natural flow" controls.

And forget the future, I'm still waiting on the Ghost of Elie Past to haunt somebody to proofread sentences like the one quoted in the comments above. (Howling wind) "You could have worked at a fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirm..!"

#40: The cause of action is assault and bladdery

When I was working as a legal secretary I used to cover for reception -- the desk was not allowed to be unmanned. Trying to find someone to sit for five minutes so you could pee was impossible. Senior secretaries were too self-important to do it, and junior secretaries were usually too overworked doing the work senior secretaries wouldn't touch.

And this was with a firm that had a policy. I feel for this lady and I hope she gets something. Not all of it. But maybe a little.

For lack of a bed pan a lawsuit is born

I'm really pissed! Hey, wait a second, now I can go sue my employer

A partner just yelled at me for pissing my time away on this shitty blog and I pooed in my pants. That should be worth at least a couple hundred thousand, right?

In my day, we pissed our pants at least 3 time a week and we loved it. Couldn't get enough.

-- angry old Partner

I don't get 17. I'm not kidding. Is it not funny or am I a moron?

59 - these are not mutually exclusive propositions, are they?

This would never happen at HK Miami's poolside annex, where the receptionist sits at a jacuzzi table.

Silent 'p', as in pool.

60 -

No, it's possible that they both apply. All I want is for someone to explain the joke to me. It's ok if you also insult my intelligence.

- 59

59 - I believe that 17 believes that the appearance of the word "little" in both the firm's name (Littler Mendelson) and the phrase "little girl's room" (a reference to the ladies' bathroom) constitutes a play on words.

Your honor, my first exhibit is this clip of Steve Martin in "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels":

http://www.killerclips.com/util/view-greeting.php?mqg=32958

I would totally do the girl who has to pee in the stock photo.

The girl in the stock photo looks more like she has explosive diarrhea rather than the need to piss.

I think I know that fountain girl...leah?

I think I know that fountain girl...leah?

my guess is that the stock photo girl just had an abortion to avoid getting laid off on maternity leave

You don't know what pressure the fascists at the top put their support staff through. Littler is a management-side law firm.

What you privileged folks don't understand is that this situation is common. Too bad every summer clerk or 1st year isn't required to work the reception desk for a few days. Most who call (or arrive) are polite but those who don't understand why the receptionist can't "go find" their attorney or can't tell them when he'll call them back -- those folks will all call at once and get annoyed if you put them on hold. Also: People try to KEEP their jobs. You don't know her story, but from experience I can tell you she isn't the first one to pee at the desk because someone says "I'll come relieve you as soon as I finish this doc....". Hope you treat your clients better.

51 wins "wittiest post" award hands down!

I think Dog Emeritus is my new favorite commenter, JUST for the picture.

Interesting how quick ATL is to pile on this receptionist when you'll give just about ANY associate the benefit of the doubt, even when s/he has done something objectively atrocious.

This kind of elitism is what leads partners to be such assholes to associates. How unfortunate that you're apparently willing to just let the badwill trickle on down.

Pun intended.

My votes are for #47 and Dog Emeritus.

And while I feel bad that the woman urinated in her chair, I also think that it shows profoundly bad judgment to let it happen twice. After the first incidence, she should have demanded better treatment from HR. The firm would much rather have a temporarily unstaffed reception area than a women sitting in her own urine. Why could she not figure that out?

"a woman". Dammit. - 73

As the President said, this is the time of year where everyone in Washington gets all "wee weed" up!

71 has taken golden baths at the reception desk.

Do you spell PPLIAINTIFF with two pees?

Not funny. Sad. When I was a 1L, my husband worked at a book store for a while and was in the same situation: he was expressly prohibited from going to the bathroom unless he found someone to cover the coffee stand for him, but there was no plan in place to find anyone; those at the registers were too busy, and the managers were never willing when he asked but still said they'd "write him up" if he went without convincing someone else to cover for him. It was a crappy job for other reasons too, but I was a student and he only months out of college in a small town, so did need the money. You don't go around quitting jobs for lofty ideas like, say, "dignity" if you need the money - at least you don't make that decision lightly. Being a very strong willed guy, coming from a union family, dating a law student, when push came to shove, he'd say, ok, fine, write me up, I'm going to use the bathroom. But for this woman, whatever the "perfect" plaintiff would have done (go, and then perhaps suffer the consequences and sue) may well have been unavailable because (1) she's not trained as a lawyer, to have necessarily known that, and (2) how are you gonna pay your rent next month, and the next, and the next, and the next, if you get fired and this lawsuit has only an extremely tentative and far off promise of compensation? A law firm (that does Employment Law!) should know better than ever to let one of their team members end up in this situation.

I'm into seeing women pee and wet themselves, so it would have really turned me on! Mmm...oh yeah!

was it just a little leak or two cups of coffee rushing out of her and staining the chair?

Totally different.

Let me tell you something first and moremost....receptionists are the first inpression of your firm. WE ar the one's who keep it going. We listen to ALL your stupid problems and we take whatever it is when people phone for YOU! WE represent the firm. Not you. There should be a union for us. We put up with your crap and that of your clients because you NEVER return their calls. AND most of the time, we can NEVER get relief because you think we are below you. I have news for you. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU AND WE KNOW OUR JOB!

I think she should be made to drink whatever she pisses out while sitting at her desk. It's just yellow water, or something along those lines.

I was a receptionist at a midsized law firm for a year before I went to law school. This is EXACTLY the kind of situation I found myself in all the time, and I had designated people from the copy service center to relieve me. But they always got a thrill out of makng me wait. I also had crappy old secretaties sending me notes addressed to "18th floor receptionist" as if (a) there was more than one floor, or (b) more than one receptionist. Nasty, nasty peeps.

People need to be more human about such a situation. The law firm's rep among elite law students has taken a beating and I am happy that it did. The way law firms treat their staff speaks reams about their assholiness. Hey...why not do a douche contest for law firms?

Unfunny. First of all, you don't say "pissed herself". The phrase is "pissed on herself." If the writer is saying it that way he is immediately suspect.

Secondly, it couldn't happen to a more deserving law firm. Good thing they do defense, because that's what they need now. I wonder who they will hire to defend themselves.

Thirdly, did any of you cackling geese ever consider the possibility that what the receptionist says is true? Lawyers aren't the most fun folks to work for, hence the high regard they are held in by the general populace.

I know LM has a corner on the market, but maybe it's time for someone else to get a shot at sucking some blood out of the system.

I believe she should receive a nice fat settlement. If the law firm didn't make time for her to go to the bathroom, then they should pay her for pain and suffering, not to mention the fact that I'm sure she suffered humiliation. She shouldn't have to wear diapers to work just because her boss is to much of an idiot to personally take over for five minutes while she runs to the bathroom. This is ridiculous.

Depends Diaper-Briefs: $2.99
Rebecca Landrith Vs. Littler Mendelson Brief :$1.5 Million
Pissing yourself at work...twice...: Priceless

As someone who has worked as a receptionist in the law firm arena for 10+ years, I have NEVER had this problem, and I have never heard of anyone else having this problem. I have also never had the issues that others seem to be ranting about, as former or current receptionists. Yes, we are the first ones to represent the firm, but we are not the product. Yes, there are some who do not respect us, but they are not always attorneys. Maybe I just got lucky and landed in a great firm, I don't know. I have several people I can call on to come get me, and they are all awesome. Senior secretaries, junior secretaries, copy center folks, my boss. But I cannot imagine sitting at my desk and peeing on myself, no matter what. And if by some crazy happening I did it once, I most certainly wouldn't do it again. You know the old saying - Fool me once, etc? Well, Piss on myself once, shame on you (for not providing appropriate coverage). Piss on myself twice, shame on me (for being a complete idiot). This suit is a ridiculous, frivolous suit filed to take the easy way out. No sympathy. If she had to go that badly, she should've sent an email stating such (after not being able to find someone to cover), and that she was going to the restroom and turning off the switchboard for just a moment. Then printed out the email to use against them if she was fired for abondoning her post. Get real.

As someone who has worked as a receptionist in the law firm arena for 10+ years, I have NEVER had this problem, and I have never heard of anyone else having this problem. I have also never had the issues that others seem to be ranting about, as former or current receptionists. Yes, we are the first ones to represent the firm, but we are not the product. Yes, there are some who do not respect us, but they are not always attorneys. Maybe I just got lucky and landed in a great firm, I don't know. I have several people I can call on to come get me, and they are all awesome. Senior secretaries, junior secretaries, copy center folks, my boss. But I cannot imagine sitting at my desk and peeing on myself, no matter what. And if by some crazy happening I did it once, I most certainly wouldn't do it again. You know the old saying - Fool me once, etc? Well, Piss on myself once, shame on you (for not providing appropriate coverage). Piss on myself twice, shame on me (for being a complete idiot). This suit is a ridiculous, frivolous suit filed to take the easy way out. No sympathy. If she had to go that badly, she should've sent an email stating such (after not being able to find someone to cover), and that she was going to the restroom and turning off the switchboard for just a moment. Then printed out the email to use against them if she was fired for abondoning her post. Get real.

Sorry! Didn't mean to hit Post Comment twice.

I wonders what would she do if she experience a diarrhea attack. I means, is she going to sit there and empty her bowel on her chair or make a run for the ladies room?

I wonders what would she do if she experience a diarrhea attack. I means, is she going to sit there and empty her bowel on her chair or make a run for the ladies room?

I wonders what would she do if she experience a diarrhea attack. I means, is she going to sit there and empty her bowel on her chair or make a run for the ladies room?