The picture of a white guy is racist.

His parents and grandparents were successful enough to allow him the opportunity to be successful himself. His taxes will pay for socialized medicine and welfare programs that he neither needs nor wants. Respect.

God this site is lame.

ACTUALLY, Obama is a douche according to these stickers which use the "O" symbol quite well:

www.AntiObamaSticker.com

They also spell out:

sOcialist
cOmmie
cOrrupt
tOtalitarian

...and much, much more!

http://www.zazzle.com/antiobamasticker

So many other worthy schools not included in this bracket because, while douchey, they are not ranked high enough. Perhaps there should be an NIT parallel to this NCAA-level douche bracket? It could include such powerhouses as Campbell, JMU, Fordham, etc.

harvard takes this honor...just like all other honors

why are there two 15 seeds?

YOU are Douche guy better comment on this post.

I predict that the winner of GULC/Duke in Rd. 2 goes on to win the whole thing...my money's on GULC.

Stanford/Georgetown is an impossible call.

NYU should take UVA, even if the thick-rimmed-glasses self-styled-intellectuals with more iPhone apps than phone numbers only count for 1/3 of a more traditional popped-collar/chinos/sandals douche.

These east coasters need to stop voting based on rank alone, because anyone that's seen both knows U of C is a nerd school, and Northwestern is the most fertile habitat for epic, "my-job-title-is-Professional-Networker" strokes in Illinois.

And all criticisms of UPenn conceded, I have yet to meet a Michigan alum who wasn't a douche before they even started filling out their application. Undergrad, law, whatever. The only major factor cutting for UP is that UM students wear the title "douche" as a badge of honor, something they deserve to be denied.

This is the kind of hatred inducing post I have been waiting all summer for

I suppose that I should know the answer to this question, but which of these schools are accredited by the American Bar Association?

i went to harvard

What about Wash U? Tons of douches there...some from Cali, some from NY, some from Chicago.

Once again, I must call faggotry on this post. How are Hofstra, Seton Hall, and other guido landmarks not on this list? The Italians practically invented douchebaggery

BosTTTon

15 - fail

Though prestige might equal jobs, it does not on its own equal douchyness. Let's get some respecTTT on this board

Definition of a douche bag:

A small syringe with detachable nozzles; used for vaginal lavage and enemas

a 64 school bracket would be better- kash must be hanging out with mystttal too much- lazy lazy lazy

UVA Law for douchiest excessive school pride.

Regent University wins in a nail biter over Liberty.

17 - have you ever watched a VH1 or MTV reality competition show?

Why don't we just make things easier and give Harvard, Yale, and U of C automatic byes to the Final Four?

I agree with #5 that ATL should do an NIT version... and please add Wake Forest to the list. What with all the seersucker and bow ties, it should be a solid contender.

Agreed with 5 - there should definitely be an NIT-equivalent tournament. Douchiness goes far, far beyond the top 16 schools. Thinking of W&L here...

Also agreed with 9 - if G-town or Duke doesn't take this thing, then I've permanently lost all respect for readers of this site.

Tough call on NYU v. UVA; they're both pretty homo about their respective law revues

24 - Cause H and U of C are in the same quarter and Penn easily beats Yale.

Dook!!!

We should stay the polls until we see which school contributes the most to Latham's summer class.

I did the slidewhow in the article, it was one of the dumbest things I have read in awhile. . . .I hope the taint of banality doesn't infect this post.

I smell East Coast bias, pitting NYU (a serious contender) against UVA (the prohibitive favorite) in the first round.

Any chance the follow up posts to this one could be written by someone that, oh I don't know, actually went to law school? Call me old fashioned, but I think people should report (or in the case of ATL, gossip not report) on what they know. Thus, busted, ugly former paralegals should write about either (a) the busted and ugly or (b) paralegals and other useless legal support staff. Thanks.

The marks of the true douche: overuse of the word douche, any use of its adjective forms douchey/er/est. Kashmir, you are a douche. This site is lame.

Comment removed by moderator.

I'm shocked USC didn't make it through to the sweet 16 on this one.

Dude where's Vanderbilt? Come on.

10 is right. U of C is full of nerds, not douches.

-U of C Law grad

Popped collars anyone?

This comes down to three schools, all of which are packed with enough douches to win outright: Penn (pissed off douches who all thought they would get into Columbia); GULC (annoying DC douches who have a chip on their shoulder for not getting into Penn); Duke (douches from the Northeast who go south, pick up a drawl, pop their collars and root for the Blue Devils).

Getting matched up against Penn in the first round is the best thing that happened to Michigan.

Go Blue

Anyone who has spent time at UVA would know that the douche factor is actually relatively low here (for a law school). Also, almost no one pops collars.

Based on the people I've met, the douchiest school is clearly Penn.

what about THE george washington university? it is douchy for if nothing else just the name

Duke wins.

I can tolerate all the douches everywhere else (though the occasional HLS grad gets me ready to punch him in the face and point out that he is my employee and I don't give a shit about his feelings of entitlement) but Duke, Duke douches are in a universe of their own. I think they actually have an interview process to weed out people who aren't douches.

40 has brought correctness to this thread. Nice summary. People are confusing eliteness with douchery. No way is U of C douchey ... dorky, sure, not douchey.

Shut it down. UVA: wall-to-wall Croakies-/short shorts-/pastel polo-wearing, Phish-bootlegging dipshits -- many of whom are closeted queers, and their stuck up arm candy cunts. They make Vanderbilt undergrads look like Miles Davis.

What law school can top this?

Having lived through the horrors of Columbia Law School, I implore all of you to give it the crown here. The people are poisonously douchey, and the faculty's mostly worse.

NYU in a landslide. No contest. Duke and Georgetown have a lockdown on the old-school douche, but nothing on god's green earth can top the sheer depth and breadth of the douche at NYU.

You just can't beat the greasy-haired, anti-corporate, public-interest-loving, I-was-cool-before-it-was-cool-to-be-cool, pseudo-intellectual and obnoxiously-in-love-with-the-idea-of-liberal-sophistication douchebaggery that NYU has come to represent.

33 FTW

OK, if someone is going to do a NCAA-style tournament, the 4/5 seeds should be in the same bracket as the 1 seed. Another example of how ATL is terrible.

I suggest further contests for:

Douchiest legal website.

Douchiest Biglaw Firm. (or can we just use the Vault rankings for that)

4 FTW

40, 45:

Have you two ever actually met or worked with UofC kids? You are correct that they are nerds. Douchebaggery, however, is NOT mutually exclusive. In fact, the nerdiness often enhances the douchiness.

...or a contest for douchiest ATL editor?

Any college my son went to easily takes Number 1. Of course, he was too retarded to get into any of the douchy schools on this list.

Hey 33 - so Kash isn't an attorney? Where did you find that?

I think some of the douchiest law schools are definitely in the T20-30 rather than the T14. Fordham or Emory, anyone? They seem to be full of kids who wanted prestige, but all they got was this lousy private school that still charges $40K/yr for tuition.

Seeding alone kept NYU and UVA from both making the Final Four.

5: You are a douche from UVA obviously. First, JMU doesn't have a law school and second, you are envious of all the women we had there....

As a UVA Law alum, I have to say UVA Law runs away with this title. No contest. It is uber-douchville to the nth degree. The student parking lot is filled with cars far, far nicer than the profs', people dress nicely for class (full makeup, skirts), it is like one giant frat house with beer and softball. Ugh. I survived by hanging out with the other small, liberal arts college weirdos and the mostly-closeted-in-public-for-fear-of-bashing gay students.

SMU for the win

As a UVA Law alum, I have to say UVA Law runs away with this title. No contest. It is uber-douchville to the nth degree. The student parking lot is filled with cars far, far nicer than the profs', people dress nicely for class (full makeup, skirts), it is like one giant frat house with beer and softball. Ugh. I survived by hanging out with the other small, liberal arts college weirdos and the mostly-closeted-in-public-for-fear-of-bashing gay students.

59, I am thinking he/she must have meant George Mason?

42 -- if you are unable to notice and recognize the douchiness that is UVA, then you are obviously a part of the problem. It is a common characteristic of douches to be unable to notice others. Sort of like how you can't tickle yourself, or sneak up on yourself. Just trust us.

the double post by the UVA alum is proof positive he's right, UVA=douchetastic.

Me: I remember when this site was good.

Colleague: When was that?

Me: I don't remember.

15, 23 - double fail

Douchbaggery pre-dates and is not defined by anything on VH-1 or MTV. The douchebaggery to which we refer wouldn't even let Italian-Americans into the club.

Partner EmeriMOM always cracks me up.

Also, the stickers from #4 are the best, EVAH!

As a Cornell frat star that made fun of pimply overweight law students for 4 years...I vote for Cornell as douchiest law school.

They have one bar -- The Chapter House.

sorry about the double UVA post. I got an error message, so reposted.

And 42, you went to a different UVA Law than I did. It was like a friggin country club training camp for rich kids psychologically frozen at age 19.

How can you have a douchiest law school contest without Liberty University, Ave Maria and Seton Hall?

72, Liberty and Regent are too easy. They are 100% douche.

Comment removed by moderator.

Is Cornell still planning to move it's law school into NYC (like the med school)? If so, that would mitigate some of its douchiness.

UVA Wins.

Entertaining post, Kash.

And based on the people in my summer class, UVA definitely runs away with this one. Pink polos popped. Madras pants, in the summer no less. Wearing sunglasses inside. And just an all around excessive school pride. Etc. Etc.

Is Harvard winning this contest so handily because of the guy on Who Wants to be a Millionaire a couple of days back?

To all the UVA haters, get over yourself (or rather, get over the fact that you didn't get in). UVA is a school for cool people, plain and simple. Laid back, confident, smart, and destined for success. The ONLY credence I will give the haters is that yes, a good portion of our students have money. But honestly, I would just say that means we have come from a good gene pool.

As for the popped collar bullshit, sorry douches, but most of our cats are ballin in much more expensive threads than you could ever dream of (and no, that sentence isn't douchey, it's just how it is).

U. Penn State tops U. of Michigan in douchiness easily, but UVA is at the pinicle of douchiness. UVA students set the standard of douchiness to which all other douches aspire.

How the fuck is NYU playing UVA in the first round.

Yo 71, don't be stugots. How can you say that Seton Hall students are the douchiest? Me and my boys from Seton Hall are da bomb.

Enough of this BS. I've got a lot to do today: get the IROC-Z polished, hit the gym to blast the pecs, hit the tanning salon, pick up my track suit at the dry cleaners, and grab lunch (a nice gabagoo sangwhich).

Duke has the biggest douches, but no school is more consistently douchey than Georgetown.

See 78 for the best argument for why UVA should win it all.

SMU in Dallas should win this easy.

Oh, and I want to have babies.

-Loretta

COLUMBIA - prestige obsessed Harvard rejects.

Um, 78, I got in, graduated, and have a great job, and thus I am eminently qualified to say UVA is uberdouchedom.

Another thing about UVA is that I wish we could compare the average guy to other schools. The average guy at UVA law is 6'1 190, and has been training in mixed martial arts at least since undergrad.

78... whether you are serious or joking... HAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAH

yes, 83, 78 is res ipsa loquitur.

pinceton law ftw

How do you aggravate a Duke undergrad? Tell them you're sorry that they waitlisted at Princeton.

How do you aggrevate a Duke law student? Tell them you're sorry that they didn't get into Penn/UVA/UMich/Chicago.

It's always funny because it's always true!

80 -- Agreed. The seeding for this tournament is off. UVA and NYU shouldn't be facing each other until the semi-finals.

penn takes this hands down. at least becasue:

penn kids wander aimlessly about philadelphia incessantly talking about new york city and their purportedly imminent ascension to it (though few have ever been - except for that one campus visit to columbia law).

penn kids randomly babble about "skadden"; its a rule at penn that at least every third word, this must fall from the students' lips.
(example: "hey fellow pre-skadden brah, i hear skadden doc review at skadden is the bomb. skadden new york. skadden.")

penn kids, like the rest of philly, publicly suffer from inferiority complex galore.

the women at penn are frustrated harpies who know not the meaning of fun and neither do they understand the word fellatio. (which is odd because that is such an LSAT word. or at least should be.)

penn for the win.

I know it has a favorable matchup going against Hahhhhhvaaaaaaaaaad. But does this mean that UCLA is the least douchiest school?

ALSO, Keith "I barely understand sports, so why not give me a show about politics" Olbermann is from Cornell.

Well, not exactly....

"OLBERMANN'S PLASTIC IVY"
http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/article.cgi?article=300

What a bunch of tools! To not know the difference between the University of Pennsylvania (my alma mater) and Penn State is is the epitome of douchebagousity! Comparable to saying NYU and SUNY-Stonybrook are one in the same. Wow, I honestly can't believe that anyone with the least bit of education would make this mistake (even if it was received at U Mich or substitute any West Coast institution...)

Lot's of douche at SMU, trust me. Went to a Vandy alumni party here in Dallas last weekend, and it significantlyl blew all other contestants out of the water. Not sure about their law school though, but they better have made it onto the undergrad list.

Pretty sure HLS is going to win...and to that I say, "they only hate cuz they jealous."

I'm sorry, but I just can't respect any top 25 Douchiest Colleges list that does not include Georgetown or BC. Especially BC, they invented the triple-pop.

96=noob

The Douchiest law school is whichever one has the most regular ATL commenters as students/alumni.

Tucker Max went to Duke law. Bing bang bong, they're Number One.

UVA = #1 Deuschiest school. Why? Because I have repeatedly heard their alumni flaunting that they attended "the best public school around." UVA grads have you heard of UC Berkeley?

102

Since I did not know that before I have added that to the equation and Duke is now the runaway favorite (though sushi pants is one of the greatest stories ever)

Duke and UVA, hands down.

Off-the-charts arrogance.

96 is not just a noob, he's also a Penn idiot. 2 strikes

I think Fordham has got to be included for banning Reed Smith.

Quick clarification, in case you missed it Wednesday-

UT Law and the University of Central North Carolina are in fact affiliated. UCNC was founded as the UT system's first liberal arts university designed primarily for African American students in the state of North Carolina. UCNC is sometimes referred at "UT - Durham Campus." UCNC has cross-enrollment with UT Law and the two can essentially be regarded as the exact same law school.

Thx.

UVA, Duke, and Emory are by far the douchiest. Completely unjustified arrogance.

Not sure whether 78 is real or a joke, but it proves that UVA wins because it could be real.

Nothing beats a GW Law student/grad who thinks he is going/went to a T20 law school

[QUOTE] These east coasters need to stop voting based on rank alone, because anyone that's seen both knows U of C is a nerd school, and Northwestern is the most fertile habitat for epic, "my-job-title-is-Professional-Networker" strokes in Illinois.

And all criticisms of UPenn conceded, I have yet to meet a Michigan alum who wasn't a douche before they even started filling out their application. Undergrad, law, whatever. The only major factor cutting for UP is that UM students wear the title "douche" as a badge of honor, something they deserve to be denied. [/QUOTE]

Absolutely correct.

I assume many of you are not from the nation's "heartland" so are just voting based upon Rank. Northwestern is the nation's capital for every variation of the "hyper-networking, plastic smile, 4000-facebook friend, I-only-talk-to-you-because-of-your-family-connections" D-Bag. The best part is that, while most NU students are extremely bright, they have no clear idea as to their school's relative position in teh world. They just assume Northwestern is the greatest law school on earth, but are too busy humping the legs of recruiters and the socially powerful to even research schools.

University of Chicago, on the other hand, usually is just filled with nerds and ACTUAL intellectuals (D-bags none the less, but not nearly as bad as the N.Y.U. pseudo-intellectual who I experienced first hand).

And every person that has ever set foot in Ann Arbor as a student is a D-Bag. I am serious. I grew up in the Midwest. Nearly every high school friend I had who went to Michigan was a A-list D-bag, and they came back even worse. I have visited the law school, too. In class, people act as though it's Plato's Symposium being re-enacted. Out of class, there is all variety of popped-collar, post-frat-boy D-Baggery you can imagine.

Remember when ATL wasn't full of fags?

What am I saying, ATL was always full of fags!

Its got to be Yale. Any school that produce that Quinn first year has to win, hands down.

If 96 really fell for it, i think a UPenn St. /UVA showdown is imminent.

78 FTW -- your prize is the tournament crown, you laid back, confident twat. Punch yourself.

"We've decided to *riff* off this one" -

I am having a difficult time trying to figure out which of the following three is the biggest douche: (1) Kash, (2) Elie, or (3) ATL. I'll accept answers from anyone who can tell me when riff became an acceptable substitute for rip in either American or the Queen's English.

GULC is a fucking juggernaut. As it should be.

Yeah, I'm surprised UNC Central isn't on this list, although I think they are Tier 4.

CASE WESTERN RESERVE LAW SCHOOL very douchy

96 pretty much demonstrates why Penn should win

62, 87 -- it would be one thing if UVA students had something to back up their "douchiness." But there's NOTHING worse than people who think they're cool and aren't.

Paris Hilton is annoying but she's hot. Harvard kids are cocky, but it's Harvard. UVA people were dorks in high school, and think they're all that now just bc they scored 168 on the LSAT (or 160 if you're a VA resident) and can run to first base w/o falling over.

Duke--biggest douches in the world.

Emory needs to be in this contest. So incredibly douchy.

( . )( . )

The top 10% of every school are douchebags....

"To all the UVA haters, get over yourself (or rather, get over the fact that you didn't get in). UVA is a school for cool people, plain and simple. Laid back, confident, smart, and destined for success."

So laid-back that they did extremely well on the LSAT and in undergrad? UVA is the land of feigned effortlessness. Give me a break.

96, nobody knows the difference between Penn State and U. Penn. As far as the rest of the non-Penn world is considered, they are one-and-the-same. Get over it.

Where is Princeton?

-Cardozo 1L

112 Here.

I would also like to ask everyone to take a step back for a second.

Everyone on this website is a socially inept nerd. Some of us may be more socially inept, and some of us may be nerdier (Or both if your Elie), but let's cut the bullshit -- lawyers, especially big firm lawyers, are huge, prude dorks.

I get the feeling that much of what we are all chortling about as being "douchebaggery" may actually be "normal human interaction." We just don't recognize it, so we fear it, and thus shun it.

I think this entire sto

I have never met bigger douches than the kids out of the University of Texas - it's a shame people appear to be voting Yale out of class bias and school envy.

112 = douche

Duke-UVA final; Duke in a rout.

129 here.

I realize that I used the improper form of "you're."

Eat me.

Deep Springs?

Clicked on that GQ story: WTF is Deep Springs? I'd never heard of that. Look it up - crazy. That has to be a cult breeding ground, right? Like the Scientology compound in SoCal.

This post sucks. Really Kash? Really?

Amen, 130. No way Yale is douchier than UT.

Intersting list. Never realized before that Douche=employable.

137-

You've just revealed your hand that you've never been a summer associate or lawyer for a large law firm.

Most large firm partners are Douches. Douches and trolls.

108 - that wasn't funny in the slightest... you tried too hard and the end result was a basically incoherent comment.

... FAIL

135,

Eat dong. This blog's articles are nothing more than posting-fodder.

You suck for being too stupid to know that there's 50 other blogs out there that will give you more substance.

The UC/NU matchup raises an interesting question: Are we ranking the institutions, or just the student bodies of today? If it's just the students, then NU > UC. But if it's the institutions as a whole, then Easterbrook and Scalia have to count for something.

Everyone knows Cooley should take this honor

140-

You have a lot of anger. You may want to work on that. Sorry you went to a T4 school. You must have been waiting for a post like this for some time.

If you took the vast majority of lawyers and compared them to society as a whole, we are all douches, wear it and love it.

UVa/NYU should have been the final. I don't even care about the rest of the tournament. See also XTC v. Adam Ant.

141 -

Interesting point. I agree with your dichotomy.

Anyone who has spent even five minutes in the Chicago legal market knows the NU law student is a D-bag juggernaut compared to the UC law student.

But throw in faculty, and it's a whole different ballgame. UC has Posner, Easterbrook, and it had Scalia and Obama. Polarizing figures to say the least.

What say you Kash? What are the parameters for the D-baggery rankings?

108 = amusing but too-verbose IUPUI flame.

What law school Stern go to?

Proppas to 112,

The public institution that is Michigan has silently raised the bar for douchebaggery beyond anything you've ever seen.

I dare you to find anyone who's less accomplished with more d-bag attitude than a Michigan alum.

3, 33, 66, 101, 113:

I get that this post was sub-par, but really, if you depise ATL so much, you should quit reading it. Seriously.

112/129 = win.

UVA. I've lost track of the number of times I've encountered somebody who went there and, after they stopped babbling about how much they love the place, thought: What. A. Douche.

78: You're an impeccable douche and representative of your people. Please keep commenting.

146,

Who wins between Michigan/NU? Undergrads?

is it too early to start drinking? Thinking martini at lunch then a few beers in the afternoon . . .thoughts? (and yes I am at work, just bored)

112 -- You hate on the Maize and Blue because you're lame. Go ahead and hate. We don't want lame ass losers like you who couldn't get laid in a Tijuana cathouse coming to Ann Arbor anyway!

I don't think that any of the people calling Duke the winner have actually met any Duke Law grads. Yes, the Duke undergrads are MASSIVE douches, but this is something that most Duke Law students (and grads) would agree to, as well. It's not fair to lump them all together.

Don't say Seton Hall is douchey just because I am tall, handsome, smart and have a hot tan girlfriend.

-Former Seton Hall summer at Orrick

Thank you 154.

And with that, ladies and gents, the prosecution rests.

-149

Gary Bettman the worse commish in pro sports is a NYU law grad--- that should tell you something about their typical of student

Gary Bettman the worst commish in pro sports is a NYU law grad--- that should tell you something about their typical of student

The best part of the actual GQ article was that it specifically called out Chicago students for making fun of others for not being able to worship at the feet of Richard Posner. This is interesting because the article was geared toward undergrad education, and yet Posner primarily (if not only) teaches at the law school.

@154,

Way to refer to yourselves as the "Maize and Blue," you ginormous douche.

Can we get you into this pool?

Duke is definitely the douchiest. No question.

-Duke 3L

Yes. UPenn State. Douche Bagginess to the fullest. Embarrassingly Douche Baggy. My time spent was filled with only Douchery. U Penn State -- Clearly the Winner. Our law school chant was actually "We Are! -- Douche Bags! We Are! -- Douche Bags!"

161 -

Eat a big one, dude. Maize and Blue owns the Midwest, and you lame losers can't even hang. You're jealous that you couldn't get into a school this elite.

Go Blue!
-154

112&129 --FTW

Hands down winner: UVA. Honorable mentions to Vandy and Duke.

Leaders and best, motherfuckers!

-- 154

not fair to have duke and berkeley together in the first round

Hail to the Victors

That is all.

@154-

"Maize and Blue owns the midwest?" Jesus, dude. You couldn't make a better case for the amazing douchebaggery that is the University of Michigan than your ridiculous posts.

You should add University of Houston just because of this girl who is publicly bragging about having 16 OCIs in one week.

http://texaslawyer.typepad.com/texas_lawyer_blog/2009/08/a-bright-spot-in-the-legaljobs-recession.html

Fact: There are 5 visibly popped collars in the Tulane Law Reading room right now. Green-Wave deserves a wildcard berth to tangle with the old-school douches.

-Maritime LLM

Tucker Max went to Duke. Scalia went to Chicago. I think that solidifies the final matchup.

95% of Brooklyn Law students and graduates that I've met are inexplicably pompous, "chip-on-my-shoulder" douche bags.

I wholeheartedly agree with comment 32, UVA v. NYU in the first round? Either could win it. Although I agree U Penn is a prohibitive favorite.

Glad my alma mater is polling low on the douche meter :)

170-

Maybe you didn't hear me earlier, the Maize and Blue is for the "leaders and best."

Stop pretending to be among our ranks.

--154

The UVA hate is quite clearly a product of jealousy from people who either made a bad decision to go to a higher-ranked school or didn't get in here, and began regretting it as soon as they found out how much fun we have.

154/176:

I wouldn't dream of attempting to attain your high level of douchiness. You keep it up.

170.

D U K E who the f&*k you come to see?

177, nope, I went there, did well, and despised it. My fellow students were uniformly arrogant, pompous asses, and all the alums are, too. It is a southern old boy's club ahd always will be. I actually turned down Yale because I was following a boyfriend. Big mistake, I know.

First !

HOLY SHIT! I HAVE AN IDEA! LETS MAKE AN ARBITRARY LIST OF LAW SCHOOLS BASED SOLELY ON THEIR US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT RANKING AND THEN SEE WHICH ONE PEOPLE THINK IS DOUCHIEST!

ATL IS SUCH A BUNCH OF CLOWNS. I AM NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS TWO BIT PIECE OF SHIT WEBSITTTE.

I'm going to miss 182.

LOUD NOISES! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!! ATL SUX!!! PROMISE NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE LAMP!

-- 182!

182: THANKS!

I transferred to GULC expecting it to be really douchey, but was pleasantly surprised that everyone was rather down to earth. Maybe it gets a bad rap from its undergrad affiliation.

Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

-182

96 - classssic response U Penn State Law

134 - Deep Springs, crazy place -- 2 kids from my high school went there, very strange, very smart, Ted Kaczynski types

Comment removed by moderator.

If 154 and 177 mated, they would produce an undefeatable World Champion of Douche.

And in that even, 182 wouldn't get so worked up about a little Friday tomfoolery.

@186

Agreed. The undergrad douchebaggery at G'Town is off the f-ing charts. GULC no too bad.

GULC '06

186 = Former UVA Law student who transferred to GULC. So, by comparison, GULC was not nearly as douchy as UVA Law.

I want a least douchey list also...

I want a least douchey bracket also...

78 -- nice try. take a random look at the LawWeb Online Student Photo Directory -- do those "cats" look "cool" to you???

But I guess in the land of the ugly (law students), the white, pasty, skinny, dorky guy who plays a little softball and drives his dad's used audi is king!

Duke Law is, surprisingly enough, not nearly as douche-laden as the undergrad. Most of the people there are well aware that they didn't get into higher-ranked schools and/or don't care.

62- My sentiments (and UVA experience) exactly....

UVA wins hands down. Top two douches at my firm are UVA (not that they would know it of course)

WTF did Duke ever do to you? Details of Douche? Tucker Max is not a product of Duke, he just went there.

duke should have had a bye in the opening round

@170-

That very well may be the point... But I don't suppose someone would lie about their identity on the internet for humor, would they? Never...

155 & 196: I disagree wholeheartedly. Upon completion of underad, all the non-douchey Duke undergrads, who have inspirations of going to law school, end up going to UNC to get out of that hell-hole.

Duke Law is composed of the doche undergrads so douchey they did not realize their school is full of douches, as well as an entire new group of douches from the Northeast. So, Duke Law is essentially a concentrate of douchiness.

May I present for consideration the Northeastern School of Law: home to the limousine liberal douche. Dressed in the very height of shabby clothing (for which they spent thousands on Newbury Street), they drive BMW 335 (male) or Range Rover Sport (female) from school back to their seven-figure condos on Boston's waterfront, Beacon Hill, or the Charlestown Navy Yard. Oblivious of the cost of law school, they maintain an air of superiority over anyone trying to go to work for a law firm to be able to pay their student loans. They speak often of helping the poor and downtrodden, but have never ventured south of Northeastern's campus into Roxbury or Dorchester. They are impassioned about being progressive, but attend a school where nearly every tenured professor is a 1960's counterculture burnout. They will repeatedly try to intern for ACLU and Southern Poverty Law Center, and will be repeatedly passed over for kids from Harvard. Will be passed over for state government internships for more attractive Suffolk students. Eventually, they will intern for a family court judge and a solo immigration practitioner. Still unclear of sexual orientation after undergrad at BC or Conn College, they will ultimately be flipped. Desirous for practicing international law, Career Services obliges them by glutting the job board with unpaid fellowships in prohibitvely expensive European cities. Upon graduation, they will "work" for two years in the Hague, London, Marseilles and Cologne, before returning to Massachusetts to obtain a MPH from Tufts which they will never use. In ten years, will being living in a pseudo-utopian agrarian experimental community in Northampton with their same-gender spouse. Summers in Provincetown. Parents are Republican hedge fund managers with homes in Dover, Osterville, and Kiawah Island that are festooned with "Romney 2012" placards. They prefer their other children, who all went to Chicago.

Finally, a tournament Duke still has a chance of winning...or at least advancing past the second round.

Limiting the polling to the top 16 schools missed some seriously douchey law schools. Number one suspect missing from the list is GW. I think the whining and undeserved egos at that school make them a top runner for number one. Emory, BU, and Cardozo could have all placed well too.

Is this "you didn't get in and are jealous of all the fun we have"-spiel what one repeats to himself while being puked on and/or anally violated in the basement of a frathouse?

Unfortunately, it doesn't apply in this case. Only a dbag dressed like the sweaterneck clown in this post's graphic would apply to UVA.

Congratulations on discovering softball and keg beer in your mid twenties. And congratulations on being the biggest douchebag law students -- and most all law students are douchebags. You're where the best of the best go -- the Top Gun school of douchebags. Bully for you on this day!

How exactly is everyone voting here? I get that tons of commenters have some bitterness/envy for the fratty/preppy types and thus can't stand UVA, UT, etc. but shouldn't it be equally douchey to brag about one's public interest work and how organic your diet is?

I vote for UTA over Yale. I don't know anyone who went to Yale.

I think major douche points should be given to any university's law school where the name includes anything other than (1) the name of the university, (2) the word "law", and (3) the word "school".

So, final match-up:

Georgetown Uniersity Law "Center" vs UC Berkeley's "Boalt Hall" School of Law

SMU = douchiest west of the Mississippi

Sadly, I think they're proud of that.

What is it with the South and douchiness?

^^^^^

I'm voting in a different competition. Douchiest law students.

Congratulations to all of the winners.

vvvvv

I know law grads from both Yale and UT. Maybe 70% of the Yale Law grads I know are douchey, but ALL of the UT Law grads are douchey, absolutely without fail. It is something one can count on, like the sun coming out in the morning and Elie littering each post with at least three spelling errroorrs.

If you've ever used the internet before and took 78 seriously, then the real douche just might be you.

seriously, GW needs to be on this list

Fisrt, every commenter including myself is a huge douche.

Second, the person who created this survey (Kash) didn't even go to law school. EPIC DOUCHE. JESUS CHRIST YOU GRADUATED FROM DUKE AND YOU HANG AROUND ELIE "FAT FUCK" MYSTAL ALL DAY. KASH, GET A FUCKING LIFE.

Duke undergrads are douches. The Duke basketball team is full of douches. Tucker Max is a douche. But Duke Law is by no stretch of the imagination the douchiest law school. Have you guys ever met anyone from Penn or Georgetown?

And for those of you who have never been to Durham, you actually have to go 15 minutes down the road to UNC Law if you want to see pink-shirted southern frat boys named "The Third" in a long line of douches, wearing tiny little Nantucket-print shorts with their sweaters tied around their necks layered with their Croakies who are playing frisbee on the lawn.

216 wins the thread.

117: Your command of ANY form of English is clearly lacking. (Read: You're a douche.) "Riff off" is not a misplaced term for "rip off" as you seem to think (with what brain cells, I don't know). Riff, in the verb sense, means to carry a theme, or to do something in an analogous vein. It's sad when you have to read ATL to actually learn something. But it's funny when people like you broadcast your ignorance to such a wide audience.

Even funnier that you will never get an offer at any firm you interview with, even if one does decide to jerk you around for a summer.

217: Yeah, but those guys don't walk around thinking they're geniuses.

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2008/03/kash_in_on_atl.php

Verified. She never went to law school, and she is, as aforementioned, a busted, ugly ex-paralegal.

While I'm here: UVA is so fucked in this thing.

205 = Fordham troll

If I wear my NYU Law t-shirt while jogging around Columbus Circle to W. 60 in that area in an attempt to get some Fordham Law Hotties, am I a doucher?

God you people make me sick. Some of the stories are entertaining, but when I read the comments I am absolutely disgusted by the wretched human beings that write such mean comments.

85% of you need to see a fucking shrink.

223, yes, you are a huge doucher. there are no hot girls at fordham, moron.

dook even sounds (and smells) like douche.

224: Your unprovoked use of profanity on a public forum indicates the presence of some deep-seated and definitely antisocial psychological issues.

Elie is a douche.

most people don't know this, but Berkeley students are surprisingly douchy! we have a couple of them in our office; they are douchier than graduates of any other law school i've seen; well, with the exception of Yale!

227, 224 here,

I am perfectly aware of my psychological imperfections. If my favorite word happens to be the f word, then I am probably a classless potty mouth, not an anti-social sociopath or whatever.

I'll go wash my mouth out with soap. Sheesh.

Wait, where's Princeton?

-BLS 2L

Ohio Northern by far. Everyone that I have met from there is so cocky. Just because you go to a well-regarded school with a rigorous admissions process doesn't give you the right to look down upon others.

SUNY Buffalo Law gets the most pussy passes into CWT NYC

219 -

It is funny to read your attempt to justify Kash's obvious misunderstanding of English. I would try to explain the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb but it is fairly clear that your narcissistic tendencies obviously interfered with you actually learning anything either before or during law school.

a. Musicians play a riff or even multiple riffs (noun) ...

b. Although it is slang, jazz musicians can riff or, more correctly, when a jazz musician is said to riff (intransitive verb), he or she is making use of a riff (noun)...

c. If you want to dive deeper into slang usage, you obviously riffed the pages (transitive verb) of every book you were given in any formal academic setting. Or, if you wanted to say it in a way that would prevent you from getting beat down by the 11-year-old girl sitting next to you, go with: you obviously skimmed (transitive verb) or merely flipped (transitive verb) through the pages of every book...

I'll be sure to bring my "douche" stamp so that when I'm doing OCIs at your T14 law school (that daddy's money obviously got you into), so that I can label you for what you truly are.

The lesson to be learned is that, regardless of what school you go to, there will always be douches like 219. For there is no bigger douche than a cocky douche that is always wrong when he thinks he is right. And while you may disagree, 219, your still wrong (and thus a douche).

-117

173 - Tucker Max went to U Chicago for undergrad. In the event of a tie, that should seal it for U Chicago.

Can someone please give 182 a hug?

Why on Earth is everybody hating on Cornell?! Who the heck thinks that Cornellians are bigger douches than Columbians?! Are you guys nuts? Have you ever MET anybody who goes to Columbia?

48, nicely put.

48, nicely put.

UVA, no contest. Everyone here looks the goddamn same, wears short ass shorts with some kind of tucked in polo (yes, even the "black" kids), and thinks theyre the shit because they played on the JV football team at some weak ass private high school in northern virginia or new england. im just glad im not paying a dime to go to school here. bitches.

-UVA 2L

203 = excellent points. Perhaps we need winners by region or city, aka, "Douchiest law school in NYC" or "Douchiest law school in Boston." Northeastern would be a solid front runner....

Ed. note, YOU are a Douche!

UVA definitely has douches, but there aren't that many of them. Most people are pretty pleasant. That said, it should probably beat NYU on the first round because of the sheer force of the douchey people that there are and because of the astounding anti-intellectualism there for a top school.
I was horrified on my visit to Columbia. The people there seemed like they would snatch their classmates' $200 casebooks and rip them to shreds in milliseconds. And they were also too dressed up.

240, you are not a UVA student. If you are, which I highly doubt, prove it. If you are a UVA student, you clearly are the kind of kid who thought it was beneath them to go to UVA then got pwned by "fratty" kids you hate and now you have a chip on the frontal lobe. In other words, you're a total clown.

Welcome back, Douche Patrol!

~SWOON~

WE ARE ALL DOUCHES

Sing along, douches: http://alturl.com/4f9m

No no no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no no no
No no no no no no

Nobody can do
The douche-a-ling!
Like we do...

Nobody can do
the skate-douche!
Like we do...

Nobody can do
The douche-a-loo!
Like we do...

Nobody can do
the philly-douche!
Like we do...

Well don't you know, we're gonna skate-douche,
Ain't nobody do it but us... nobody but us.
Well I'm gonna philly-douche,
Ain't nobody do it but us... nobody but us.
Well let me tell you nobody... nobody but us.

Let me tell you nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody...
Nobody, nobody... nobody, nobody...
Nobody, nobody... nobody, nobody...
Nobody, nobody... nobody, nobody...

(repeat)

How is NYU v UVA even a contest? It's UVA by, like, five miles.

Skip the bracket just put Duke, UVA, NYU and Harvard in the final four.

While other schools come close - those 4 are in a league of their own.

And recede so we get the UVA v. Duke deathmatch we all want to see in the final and have NYU and Harvard battle it out in a 3rd place game

which law school is douchier? really? will we have a "which is blacker?" contest next between pots and kettles?

I'm sorry, but it's GULC, Penn, Duke and UVA as the one seeds. Hands freaking down.

240 is right that everyone at UVA looks the same. I'm good with names and faces but I can't tell anyone apart here.
However, I think UVA only gives full tuition scholarships to 6 people (Dillard Scholarship), so either 240 is one of those people or 240's mommy and daddy are paying.

There are plenty of douche bags at LMU, Pepperdine, and Santa Clara.

Gentlemen at the legal preparatory academy with which I was once affiliated were frequently considered to engage in routine acts of unpleasant and unseemly behaviors, and to be possessed of egos considerably out of proportion to those merited, as well as inflated senses of self-importance. In a more common parlance, the gentlemen were engaged in random acts of douchebaggery, and were thus considered worthy to be the subjects of this web log posting. While this was considered amusing by those observing the selfsame weblog posting, the activities could not be ascribed any greater significance.

Legal Fraternity Lothario, his own self, attended a legal preparatory academy in the vicinity of Boston, and therefore is well acquainted with the type. Legal Fraternity Lothario does, however, wish to point out that a popped collar, while always stylish and sophisticated, is not necessarily a badge of douchebaggery.

I don't know about elsewhere, but in Texas SMU is by far the douchiest school. They have no reason to be so pompous...yet....they are.

My vote for the douchiest law school goes to the Thomas M. Cooley Law School of Lansing, MI. My nomination for runner-up goes to Western New England College School of Law in Springfield, MA. It beggars credence that ATL would exclude these schools from competition for that title, as they seem far more likely to produce a tepid, stagnant puddle of douchewater than ATL's selections.

My school, BC, at least deserves an honorable mention. Not everyone there is a douche, but it is the quality of the douchieness that warrants respect. Furthermore, half of the students there were gunning for HLS and felt that they were slumming it to be at such a lowly institution, which gave a certain edge to their douchieness.

BROOKLYN LAW SCHOOL HANDS DOWN!

Legal Fraternity Lothario sucks.

Sucks.

It's 12 hours later and I still want to know -- why are there two 15 seeds?

--- 7

7 + 259 -- As the post says, US News rankings... UT and UCLA are tied at 15, thus rounding out the top 16 law schools. Amazed that not every reader here doesn't know that... maybe there is hope in the world after all

One wonders if GQ considered how it would do on the list of douchiest magazines.

Anyone who says NYU is douchy is a blatant Columbia troll.

There are definitely douches at/from UT, but it has to go to Yale. No contest. The problem is most people here have never met a Yale Law alum because they don't associate with you plebes.

Who cares.

My alum, JEWLANE, I mean TULANE, is fairly douchy too - -

Shlomo Cohenbergsteinman

Law or undergrad, anyone who attended the University of New Jersey at Durham is a douche.

UVA Law is a very VERY close second (although, it didn't used to be that way).

Anyone who has ever worked with a Columbia student knows that that school is the douchiest. They couldn't make it into HYS but hide behind the fact that they want to live in NYC. At least NYU students don't live in a gated community.

203 is an obvious Suffolk troll...most Northeastern students are nowhere near that bad. (Though admittedly, some of them do fit that stereotype.)

NYU may be insufferably obnoxious thanks to the holier than thou sanctimony most of its students feel entitled to. Penn may be the most quietly desperate school. And GULC is probably a darwinian jungle.

But, and I say this as a student there, Columbia takes the cake. It's not even close. It's not that competitive (I never really understood that accusation.) But it's douchey bar none.

Yale kids aren't douchy. Nerdy- yes. Entitled- yes. Elitest- sometimes. But not douches.

New York Law School hands down. Often mistaken for NYU the students will rarely correct you and the inferiority complex translates to douchbagnisity. Alma mater of Judge Judy. Kind of students that hide books so they get a better grade. Transferred out after first year.

Tucker Max=douchiest law grad
CLS=douchiest law school-the only reason anyone chooses to go there over NYU is to brag to their grandparents that they go to an Ivy League School

Everybody at one of these douche schools should take this test and allow themselves to be called be the result.

http://www.douchebagnamegenerator.com/

268 - 203 here. Sadly, I am a recent (last half-decade) graduate of Northeastern. And yes, at least half of the public interest folk fit that mold during my tenure there. Today, I am woefully unemployed (as many are from my class), and ponder revising my resume to state that I dropped out of the 9th grade nd never went to law school. Finally, the job board IS comprised of a) unfunded European fellowships, b) mid-career associate positions in random cities, none of which are in New England, and c) temp positions offering as little as $15/hour. No hyperbole here.

I did, however, use Suffolk for all my Aspen E&E needs (Northeastern bookstore did not stock such things).

-203

252 -- Cal. Western Student

Lat told me he went to a "law school in New Haven." I was like that is more douchey than if you just said Yale Law School. Lat then asked me where I wanted to go to law school and I said "duh, the best one, Princeton." Lat just laughed and grabbed my butt.

Hey 203/274:

This is 268, the guy you responded to. I too am a fellow unemployed Northeastern grad. I extend my sympathies to you. And in all fairness, I know the type of people you are talking about, but I did meet some relatively normal people at NUSL. I also smoked a ton of dope during my 3 years there, which helped make the experience more bearable.

272 FTW

Tucker Max was comical for about 6 seconds, until every "happening" was the same.

69:

Cornell does not have one bar. Johnny O's rocks!

I recently graduated from Duke law and I don't think the law school is particularly douchy. The ranks of Duke's undergrad are undoubtably teeming with douches. Duke law, on the other hand, is filled with geeks and chodes. They're not any better, just different.

No, for pure, unbridled, edge-of-your-seat douchiness all roads lead to Charlottesville.

NYU, Columbia and Duke are the class of Doucheness.

Duke wins HANDS down. Even the name is douchy. "Duke". Sounds like something you'd call a pet turtle. Not to mention that the original endowment was premised upon profiting from imbuing folks with lung cancer, one of the leading causes of death in this country.

Duke Law is actually not at all like you guys think it is. I was completely prepared for douchiness. But there are (MAYBE) two or three douches in my class. Everyone is very down to earth and just plain nice here. I did ASW at some other schools where everyone recited their resume (including their GPA and LSAT score) as quickly as possible to prove how prestigious they were, wanted to make sure they were only friends with the "right" people, and dressed absolutely ridiculously. Everyone at Duke is friends with almost everyone else, and the class is not at all cutthroat or competitive.

282, noted. But one must take into account the entirety of Duke, which unfortunately includes the undergrad.

Worry not, NYU is a close second.

UChicago wins.

Populated by bow-tie wearing former college Republican party types who long for the day that Barack Obama will finally be proved a communist, whitey-hating, liberal failure. Will start shouting for impeachment next month.

Attended Dartmouth undergrad, where he edited the Review. Was arrested on campus once for pasting up signs showing the school president in blackface.

Speaks with a voice reminscent of William Buckley.

Somewhat overweight since birth, eschews social situations where anyone less than 40 years old is in attendance. Has been ordering Johnny Walker Black neat since age 19 in order to appear more sophisticated.

Has a comprehensive and encyclopedic knowledge of Scalia's jurisprudence, and has read every Judge Bork opinion on antitrust multiple times. Reads solely non-fiction for fun. Dad is the comptroller of a mid-sized town, such as Columbus, Ohio.

Has developed a loathing for poor people, without having actually met one.

Harbored major crush on Sarah Palin. Had no idea about her political track record, other than that she seemed to be a semi-hot, female Republican who hates liberals with the scorching white heat of a thousand suns.

The epitome of douche baggery: the voicemail from the Toronto's most eligible Casanova. I bet he's an attorney.

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

281, really? Duke Law is douchy because of cigarettes? Wow you are reaching now.... have you ever been to Duke, ever met anyone at Duke, ever had any contact with Duke? Or are you just a douche?

283 --

Actually, no. The GQ list rightfully reamed the undergrad. But the ATL Douchy Law School match-up is based on the LAW school. The Duke grad student campus is located on the other side of campus, away from all of the undergrad students. You could probably go to Duke Law for three years and never actually even SEE one of the douche undergrad students, as long as you stay away from Shooters and Satis. Interacting with the douche b-school grad students, however, is unavoidable.

284-- Bravo. You've encapsulated every Republican with that myopic rant. You mmay now fellate yourself.

286 - "Duke" is Flemish, I believe, for "douche" so there really is not a contest.

Everyone relax! It's clearly Duke that's the douchiest of the law school institutions listed. Indeed, Duke is the douchiest of all institutions (including Late Night Shots), but I digress. I've met exactly three Duke law grads I like, all women, who were A-OK. Literally every other one was basically JJ Redick of the legal world. Liked to act like a super star, but totally b*tch slapped when facing real talent.

122- At least get your facts straight:

Median LSAT: 170
25%-75% LSAT: 166-171

For some reason every Northwestern Law Student I have ever met has had this big hang up about Chicago students being big losers, as one of the sections of 1L orientation is an indoctrination to the immense lameness of U of C students. Granted its a small sample, but the NU kids I have met, excluding a few friends, have been douchier/lamer than the average U of C kid.

And UVA is by far the douchiest. "Oh we're the party law school, look how much we party! We party all the time, every day in February!!" When we went there for that softball tournament they have (which U of C was subsequently banned from for being unruly) the UVA team we played (which took co-ed softball way too seriously) made fun of us after the game for being drunk. I guess I thought that was the whole point of the trip.

Oh and 284 - you are an idiot, and the reason outspoken liberals are almost as bad as outspoken conservatives.

Don't know when you went to Cornell, 69 "frat star," but my class was with only a few exceptions neither fat nor pimply. And we didn't hang much at the Chapter House.

293, I'm with you. For a while, I was wondering if they had used hotness as part of their admission criteria. And by 'hot,' I don't mean 'lawyer hot' (that goes for both the men and the women)...

Did I miss the "Douchiest Big Law Firm" contest? Now, THAT's one worth putting money on. (And yet, so many contenders, really.)

You guys are aware that Christian Laettner doesn't, and never did, go to Duke Law, right? And that the law school has very little overlap with the undergrads you once heard were douchey from your friend's brother's ex-roommate? Also, none of us are on the basketball team.

Anyway, I picked Duke specifically because of how nice folks there were when I visited. That proved to be a correct observation, so I'm happy at Duke.

Cheers.

UVA vs NYU should be a semifinal, not a 1st round matchup

I 100th, the cry for more than just the top-tiers for the douchebag rankings. BC is definitely up there. Besides the generally douchiness of many of the students there's the whole ego about being a pro-bono oriented school. "We care so much about pro-bono and changing the world, but our stats for numbers of students doing "good" and our loan repayment assistance are the same or worse than pretty much every other good law school."

287 - going to Duke Law and not going to Shooters is like. . . going to the Internet and not reading the comments on ATL.

Cornell's score would be a lot lower if it wasn't for that Professor Mustard guy they've got. That guy's a douche. Most people I know from there are not.

The use of that god-awful font for the brackets only increases the douchiness of this entire venture.