Lawyer of the Day: And Her ‘Real Pimpin’ Law Professor Boyfriend
Way back in 2007, a time so long ago that firms actually made offers to summer associates, we mentioned the story of UConn law professor Robert Birmingham. The professor showed a clip from the movie Really Really Pimpin’ in Da South, and got in a little bit of trouble. The film is (apparently) a “prostitution training film” that contained an interview the professor wanted his students to see. Professor Birmingham was forced to take a leave of absence back then, but he’s back on campus.
Unfortunately for the professor, now his girlfriend is in trouble. Heather Kaufmann — who is not only Professor Birmingham’s girlfriend but also represented Birmingham back in 2007 — has been charged with a litany of crimes. The Hartford Courrant reports:
Heather Kaufmann, 33, surrendered to police Monday and is facing charges of second-degree forgery, third-degree larceny, third-degree identity theft, credit card theft, receiving goods illegally, charging less than $500 on a revoked credit card and five counts of fraudulent use of an ATM….According to court documents, police said that in the days following the death of her aunt on Dec. 7, 2008, Kaufmann used her aunt’s ATM card and wrote a check on the account that, together, came to more than $3,200.
Birmingham isn’t just tainted by the romantic association with Kaufmann; he allegedly also received some of the misappropriated funds.
According to police, Professor Birmingham received money from Kaufmann … or Kaufmann’s dead aunt:
The affidavit also says that Kaufmann wrote a check from the account of more than $1,000 to her boyfriend, UConn Law Professor Robert L. Birmingham, and signed the check with her aunt’s name….According to court documents, Kaufmann, who described her relationship with her aunt as similar to that of a mother and daughter, initially told police that her aunt allowed her to use the account to make purchases for her, but she denied using the account after the aunt had died.
Is the University of Connecticut School of Law going to have to choke a prof? And is anybody else slightly disturbed that a professor who is familiar with prostitution training videos had a girlfriend pay him $1,000 bucks?
I just don’t think these things happen at Yale.
Vernon Attorney Charged With Using Dead Aunt’s ATM Card [Hartford Courrant]
UConn Law Prof Suspended for Showing Film Clip in Class; Blames Technology “Wardrobe Malfunction” [Tax Prof Blog]
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first
I suppose that I should know the answer to this question, but is UConn accredited by the American Bar Association? Does anyone know whether the school is a member of the Association of American Law Schools?
Well suck me sideways!
Pimpin' ain't easy...
3 - i think i should know the answer to this, but r u a licensed attorney? did u graduate from a school that was accredited by the ABA?
Regrettably for this man, he sports a pair a shades inferior to mine. His mane could also use a trim.
That guy looks like he could be the Unibomber's brother. What kind of a law professor would wear shades for his website photo? Weird.
You're right Elie... no one crazy ever goes to an Ivy League school.
Ted Kaczynsky went to Harvard. So far I don't think any UConn graduates have been accused of mass murder.
You're right Elie... no one crazy ever goes to an Ivy League school.
Ted Kaczynsky went to Harvard. So far I don't think any UConn graduates have been accused of mass murder.
6 has potential
10 = 6
did ZZ Top break-up?
2, UConn is an online school not eligible for ABA accreditation. However, it is accredited by the State Bar of Connecticut, so rising 2L's take the 'baby bar' and are then eligible to keep studying if they pass; upon graduation, they can sit for the state bar exam and may be able to eventually get into other jurisdictions by reciprocity.
11 = angry he didn't think of a good shtick.
11=10=6
14 = jAkE
Go HUSKIES!
Is the Huskie a breed recognized by the American Kennel Club?
This dude looks awesome
LOL @12!
I've never had a boyfriend force me to pay him $1000.
Mostly that's because I've never had a boyfriend.
to the uconn haters - uconn is a normal ABA acredited law school...ranking around 50 in tier 1 law schools. poor birmy always seems to find himself in trouble.
I want to be Robert L. Birmingham when I am that age. Except for the hair loss. With the beard and shades though.
That dude is teaching The Nuremberg Trials this Fall, Friday 10:30-12:30AM. Not to be missed
he IS awesome. those blueblockers are just the start of the greatness.
22 - you must be new here. 2 (and the others questioning accreditation) are just joking. next to promissory estoppel jokes, it's the thing the law students who frequent this site like to joke about most. we all know uconn is accredited (although i didn't know it was "acredited"....)
3 - Nice.
23: Not to mention the 33 year old girlfriend, that is unless she also has a beard.
My first thought: Fidel Castro looks good in shades.
Tell me this isn't the SAME guy:
http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m3/feb2008/8/0/315B54ED-C2AC-8CFC-74CCB45856A1333C.jpg
23: Not to mention the 33 year old girlfriend, that is unless she also has a beard.
6: nice profile/bio. har harhar.
28 and 30: FAIL
When you get up in the morning and the light is hurt your head
The first thing you do when you get up out of bed
Is hit that streets a-runnin' and try to beat the masses
And go get yourself some cheap sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Spied a little thing and I followed her all night
In a funky fine levis and her sweater's kind of tight
She had a west coast strut that was as sweet as molases
But what really knocked me out was her cheap sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Now go out and get yourself some big black frames
With the glass so dark thay won't even know your name
And the choice is up to you cause they come in two classes:
Rhinestone shades or cheap sunglasses
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Jake Emeritus=fail. PE could never have a son because he is a festering old virgin.
I think 33 is on to something with the lyrical connection to ZZ TOP
Viva Viagara!
Viva Viagara!
26, lemme get this straight. I can't reasonably rely on posts in the ATL comments section?
22, that's not correct. UConn's accreditation was revoked three years ago.
"A law school the basketball team can be proud of."
I had him for contracts as a 1L. For lectures, he sits "indian style" on a desk in front of the class and never removes his shades. He is totally rediculous.
And yes, Uconn is accredited and is (still barely) Tier 1....but if you had this guy for contracts like I did, then I can understand why you might question that....
41,
Have you figured out the chicken's sex yet?
I had Prof. Birmingham for contracts and learned absolutely nothing, expect that a contract is a person...whatever that means. I was offended when he showed that clip in class, but chaulked it up to him being a loony old man. In addition to nieve first year girls providing favors in exchange for A's, he encouraged uneducated comments on cases from girls that wore skin-tight clothes.
His racial slurs during class, skiing on the sidewalk in Hartford when it snowed, and desire to wear shorts in the winter made him a sorry excuse for a prof. The sad part is that he is back at UCONN.
GO HUSKIES!
41,
Have you figured out the chicken's sex yet?
Why is Uconn not spelled Yukon?
And, what is rediculous about him?
39 - You are wrong. UConn has been provisionally approved by the Council of the Section of Legal Education and Admission to the Bar of the American Bar Association since 2006.
ridiculously rediculous
I realize that the decline of my profession started with the retirement of the old guard conservative law professors in the '80s and their subsequent replacement with the flower child pseudo-intellectual liberals that studied law while burning draft cards and calling our Vietnam veterans "baby killers." Instead of interlacing economics with law (e.g., Learned Hand style), liberal law professors started preaching weak public policy theories and sacrificed substantive legal coursework for fluff material such as women, gay/lesbian and animal rights. The story about this professor does not surprise in light of the decline of our legal educational system.
"expect that a contract is a person"
"chaulked it up"
"nieve first year girls"
We all owe Elie a BIG apology here. He trulie is won of us.
ridiculously rediculous
Please remove 45 and ban that individual from posting in the future. The name EllieWeasel is clearly an allusion to Holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize recipient Elie Wiesel. The deliberate play on the author's last name to evoke the image of a weasel is disgusting. And, this poster goes even further by displaying the animal dressed in tuxedo and tophat as his avatar. This is highly discriminatory and insulting. If Above the Law has any gumption, it should ensure that these types of usernames and images have no place on this blog.
I agree with 51. Please moderate 45, 49.
9,
Only drug conspiracy: http://abovethelaw.com/2009/07/law_student_of_the_day_john_be.php
Tough summer in Hartford.
42 - No, I never really attempted to follow the crap that he was dishing out. I just showed up, took the B, and moved on.
43 - Yes, you are right - he actually admitted to the class that he would give an A to any attractive girl who would actually listen the garbage he was spewing. Supposedly, his distinguished girlfriend, Heather Kaufmann was one of these.
The really pathetic thing is that I have classmates who to this day, actually the think this guy was great....presumably because he helped them artificially inflate their GPAs with his rubbish classes.
-41
51 - that's a good point, but I *think* it's actually a knock on Elie Mystal.
To the contrary, Mr.51 and 52 (if you are not 51=52), Ellie is short for L.E., which is short for Legal Eagle, which I am. In diguise. As a weasel. So you don't see me coming at you. Except for the top hat. Beware the top hat.
EllieWeasel being called out = awesome.
EllieWeasel trying to weasel his way out = fail.
48/PE -- Birmingham is a law & econ guy. So STFU.
55, that could be valid, but there are other ways of satirizing Elie Mystal...like Misstal, Miss-ul, etc.
This commment is addressed to comment no. 58.
If you meant the good professor was an "econ" guy as a result of pimping activities, I stand corrected. Regardless, UConn law lacks prestige and is not a school we recruit from.
Birmingham is a good man and a brilliant professor. He uses film clips in his classes to provoke thoughtful and respectful debate -- not to offend. I'll vouch for his character, but not his taste in women.
Birmingham's favorite line: "Posner good. Cardozo bad." And his favorite SCOTUS justice is Thomas, mostly because he perjured himself. Interesting guy.
"choke a prof" - awesome
Guy was a heck of a conversation starter. He really knew how to add fuel to a fire. He sure didn't teach a damn thing though! Then again, nothing that I learned in law school has been too helpful in the real practice of law....
Besides, Elie Wiesel, while a great and notable person, does not have the status of Mohammad, pbuh, for whom a play on words would merit amputation of a limb. It is no more improper than going from George Bush=>Curious George=>George is a chimp. Butch up, 51 & 52.
43,
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this blog is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
You're just angry at these "nieve" girls that got better grades than you. But, instead of assuming there was some kind of conspiracy maybe you should look in the mirror and realize that you are a complete idiot. You did not deserve anything close to an A in any of your classes. This is obvious from your impressive (yet depressing) inability to properly use the english language.
65,
That's right, Elie Wiesel has not doing anything with a fiery chariot and inspired thousands to engage in suicide bombings.
You are a disgrace, and you should be utterly ashamed of yourself. Your postings should be banned. Choose another username and get a life.
PE - do you think the law schools in this country might successfully implement a hybrid tough love program of their own where they fail no less than half the class each semester, and at the same time raise the tuition on the remaining students?
Also, I have enrolled for "Feminist Perspectives on Constitutional Law" this upcoming semester. Do you consider this course substantive? If not, what would you recommend?
PE/60 = "not a school we recruit from' = grammatical FAIL
68 = PE
ranked 2nd in class, had birmingham for contracts and loved it.
Birmingham is easily the worst professor I've ever had. As someone else stated, he has a sad group of miserable, lonely outcasts who work as his "fans," take every class he offers, and get legitimately offended when you don't agree that he preaches the gospel. His classes are garbage, he gave a classmate of mine an "A" for drawing a picture of a sailboat for an Admiralty Law final, and the people who take his classes are generally complete retards themselves.
Fuck you, UConn Law. Fuck you Professor Birmingham, and especially fuck you Dean Paul for letting shit get this bad. When I came in to UConn Law it was a lower-level 1st tier school that seemed to be on the way up. After Dean Paul took over, we dropped something like 12 slots in two years.
Eat shit and die.
66 - Ellie?
71 - being ranked 2nd in your class at UConn Law is akin to being the person who finished second in voting for the captain of the JV boys volleyball team... nobody cares (except you and maybe your mom)
73--66 was not me. I very rarely split infinitives. And nobody on this blog "listened" to anything. They "read" it.
71,
Did you actually learn anything about contracts that you can use? And do you know the chicken's sex?
72 ..... we have a winner!!
75,
its a quote from billy madison. pull your head out of your ass
Id. at 72.
First?
68 -- I know a number of UConn grads who were ranked in the top 10 of their class and went on to clerk for active, federal appellate judges. Obviously, somebody cares. Stop shitting on other people.
Love,
Another UConn Grad (not 71)
81 here. I meant to direct post 81 to 74, not 68. Clearly, I was *not* top 10 of my class at UConn Law or anywhere else.....
72 rocks
Why didn't you ppl just go to YLS? Isn't that in CT?
81, was that before or after they took the Baby Bar? I'm surprised judges would hire from an unaccredited law school.
Do UConn Grads need to take the bar if applying for paralegal?
81 - active judges? as opposed to those who are sedentary? i think your underlying premise is good, as many judges could use more exercise
UCAN'T
If you are offended by seeing a scantily clad girl or a shot of her g-string, then yes do please leave class. I wouldn't want you in there anyway.
80 FTW, made me LOL
Of all the things Birmingham, a tenured law professor with an already fat pocketbook could get in trouble for...this IS surprising. I expected him to be caught snorting coke off 1L bodies, while wearing his mud wrestling t-shirt and spandex pants (true).
Is this the contracts professor who constantly rubbed his nipples in class?
He developed the theory of efficient breach of contract. seriously.
24 Rutgers L.Rev. 273, 284 (1970) (“Repudiation of obligations should be encouraged where the promisor is able to profit from his default after placing his promisee in as good a position as he would have occupied had performance been rendered”).
He developed the theory of efficient breach of contract. seriously.
24 Rutgers L.Rev. 273, 284 (1970) (“Repudiation of obligations should be encouraged where the promisor is able to profit from his default after placing his promisee in as good a position as he would have occupied had performance been rendered”).
HAHAHAH IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A B*TCH?? WOOOOOO GO ELIE
Agree with 72. Also had Birmingham for contracts as a 1L and it was the most useless class I have ever taken. He couldn't have been more of a douche that loved himself beyond measure. His minions absolutely loved him and took every class he taught and I am certain it was for no other reason but to inflate GPAs.
As for Uconn, its become a joke, falling in the rankings every year since I attended the school. Wouldn't be surprised if they actually lose their accrediation soon.
Birmingham's typical attire? Birkenstocks, cargo shorts, t-shirt, a long-billed hat, backpack, and, of course, sunglasses (heard he had a stroke)
While taking a Birmingham class does make one feel intellectually dirty, one must admire an AARP eligible gentleman "hittin' it" with a chick 30+ years his junior.
Akin to our 42nd President for his antics with Monica in the Oval Office, he places high among my role models.
72 is spot on. JP was a mistake from day one.
99 -- +1000000
UConn is a solid, tier 1 law school, and its top graduates can compete with those from name brand schools.
That said, Birmingham is quite possibly the worst professor on the planet. Shame on the law school's administration for tolerating his peccadilloes for as long as they have.
His Fed Courts class was actually halfway decent. But I decided not to take another one.
Sunglasses are due to light sensitivity. He removes them after sundown.
101: UConn is no longer tier 1. It dropped to 52 in the rankings. Suck it JP.
102: Maybe he'd be less sensitive to light if he didn't wear sunglasses all the time. Just sayin...
No baby bar exam. Uconn is, and remains on ABA approved list since 1933
No baby bar exam. Uconn is, and remains on ABA approved list since 1933