rofl

Hurray! Goodbye Elie (and don't come back)!

"either there will be a significant shake-up in the rankings or some people are going to lose there ever-lovin' minds."

Either you're an illiterate failure at life, or the constant fuck-ups and errors are an intentional form of bizarre meta-trolling. Which is it?

Firms that have laid off half a first year class:

1) Latham
2) Clifford Chance
3) Proskauer
4) Dechert

Ha! to 1. Never fails.

Elie, sincere wishes to you and the Mrs. for a happy anniversary trip.

Starting August 17, Lat will leave us in the ever-incapable hands of Elie...how does your wife feel about all of your typos? How does she feel about your gut?

That's it. I'm convinced Elie's typos are pre-planned. After seeing the obviously staged Elie v. Lat legal analysis showdown and twenty straight posts with egregious grammar errors, I am now convinced that Elie has been playing the best shtick on ATL. We've all been had.

5 What were the severence packages?

Hey Elie -- Here's to many more years of providing plenty of thick and long "wood" to your wife. Happy Anniversary.

Don't mind me.

I'll just leave this here for a moment:

http://skepticalbrotha.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/jemima1.jpg

Hopefully his wife will quiz him on there/their/they're while he's on vacation.

Enjoy your vacation, and remember that the 5th anniversary is traditionally the time that a married couple can start trying the butt.

Congrats on your anniversary Elie, and have a great vacation!

Incredible-the level of sheer jackass-ery on the interweb. Just let the guy enjoy his anniversary without your anal comments.

I'm just registering my disgust at how anonymity makes people into lumps of turd. I know this comment will have absolutely no effect on any of you.

Happy anniversary you fat bastard.

Happy Anniversary, Elie and Mrs. Elie!

If anything happens to Elie on vacation, I'm going to sue Lat under the Good Samaritan statute.

Damn! I thought we'd gotten rid of that guy! Stay-cation :(

15 = Sentence fragment in first sentence, missing comma in last sentence = MysTTTal.

"Fat Bastard" was just his self-loathing coming through.

Message was written by Lat, is first step in stealth layoff of Elie. Need proof? Note that the egregious typo was "strike out" edited instead of stealth-edited as Elie always does. Lat is trying to emulate Elie levels of incompetence, not realizing that Elie is a natural.

LOL. This was funny. Happy Anniversary.

Congrats, man.

Prosolution Pills

Elie's not fat, he's pleasantly plump.

5

So those firms are basically career death traps? Thanks for the heads up.

5 -
should Orrick and Cahill be on that list?

MOOBS & BOOBS!

Congrats!

25

I don't know if they've laid off at least half a first year class in an office. If so someone had better start trolling against them so people know to avoid them.

13 - it takes people that long to get to the butt? i've only seriously dated "nice" girls with relatively little experience (low to mid single digits), and as long they're treated right, the butt comes in the first few months if respectful about it.

it seems that women are either for it or against it - i don't see what 5 years of marriage would do to the uptight, "no f'n way!" crowd.

29 - Certainly GenY girls who have been raised on internet porn are more likely to go for the butt early in a relationship. I was talking about the "traditional" rules, like first anniversary is paper and fifth anniversary is wood, fifth is also working buttplay into things.

Those are the Emily Post rules, but more power to you if you are willing to start sooner.

WOODs it be.

Elie, what's your LSAT score?

Things that are the work of ATL's editors to boost traffic:

1. Elie's typos
2. PE
3. Roxana

It's all very clever, really.

I guess I missed something along the way, because I thought Elie was supposed to be queer. There have been a few thousand notes posted about his queerness, anyway. It's good to know that he's actually not a pervert, but a married man in search of some anal.

Firms that have laid off half a first year class:

1) Latham
2) Clifford Chance
3) Proskauer
4) Dechert
5) McDermottt
6) McDermottt
7) McDermottt

35

Which McDermoTTT office laid off half a first year class?

Updated list of firms that have laid off half a first year class (or firms that will shoot your career in the face):

1) LaTTTham
2) ProskauerTTT
3) Clifford ChanceTTT
4) DecherTTT
5) McDermoTTT

The real reason Elie is doing a stay-cation is the new policy at many airlines that would require a man of his dimensions to buy two seats.

Should those List-of-Shame firms bother with OCIs this year? Wouldn't most students choose other firms if at all possible?

"Should those List-of-Shame firms bother with OCIs this year? Wouldn't most students choose other firms if at all possible?"

Who says it's possible?

Even in good years, there's a decent amount of top 14 students who won't get big law jobs. In this one, obviously more.

Toss out the students who can otherwise big law jobs. You're still going to have T14 people who have a choice of working at Latham, Dechert, McDermott . . . or starting out at 60k.

Lat instead of Elie? That's like gonorrhea instead of syphilis.

plz kill me

-suicidal laid off latham first year

has latham expressed any concern for the suicidal first year(s)?

43, i doubt the latham partners care about the laid off associates

LSAT score, please

42, please don't joke. If you really feel suicidal, get help. There is no reason to do anything that drastic. This will work itself out.

46

i am not joking.

i need to salvage my career, but it seems impossible. no shrink can do anything about that.

-suicidal laid off latham first year

How old are you? You can salvage your career. It might take some time and the path might not be clear now, but you are young and I promise you that this will pass.

I don't know you so I cannot really help you, and I cannot help but feel that someone might be yanking my sympthy chain, but I don't want to risk that in case you really feel so blue.

I have felt blue too at the hands of an MWE partner that totally screwed with my head and made me feel worthless no matter how hard I worked. So I understand at least in the abstract. If you cannot find a way out, please call someone. Every bar association has a hot line. You need to get some perspective. Usually this stuff can be worked through once you feel like you have a game plan that gives you control like managing your financial obligations, etc. Please please please let others help you.

48

I am willing to let Bob Dell and Dave Gordon help me. Oh, what's that, those two don't give a rat's ass whether I live or die?

-suicidal laid off latham first year

No, they really don't. Which is all the more reason why you need to buck up and settle in for a long hard road to a better life. Who cares what they think of you? Ultimately, living well is the best revenge. Life is full of crappy unpleasant surprises, sharp corners, and even sharper elbows from a-holes in positions of power. If you were good enough to negotiate the hurdles required to get into Latham in the first place you are good enough to dust yourself off and carve a new path in life, whether in BigLaw, TTT-Law, or some other career. It probably won't be easy and you may or may not ultimately make as much money as you would have made riding the Latham train for a while, but it beats the s**t out of being a rotting corpse. And just because BigLaw management as a class have showed poor business judgment and worse personal skills doesn't mean you or anyone else who got the heave-ho is a failure, a bad attorney, or deserved to get laid off. But stop expecting anyone to apologize or admit they got it wrong. They won't. And the truth really is that they don't care about you. They never did. So stop caring about them, and move on.

Holy shit, 48 and 50 are actually demonstrating compassion and humanity on ATL! Alert the mass media, the world must be coming to an end!

Go easy on the dude, man. At least he's getting boned by the wife, which is more than many of us are getting.

Hey Elie, congrats to you and your wife. I hope you both have a great time.

. . . I thought Elie was a chick

54 - Elie is most definitely not a girl:

http://www.facebook.com/profile/pic.php?uid=AAAAAQAQ2zrCt4_P4quUi_B1GpJG4gAAAAkzXCqBOAuy2iQeiPqfw-QS

I don't think Dechert has laid off half its first years. I work in a slow practice group and the partners have really gone out of their way to keep first years (probably at the expense of 2nd, 3rd and 4th years).

I'm not saying that the firm is perfect, but I just don't think it's true to say that the firm has let go of 50% or more of its first years.

56,

Okay, so we'll take Dechert off the list of firms that'll shoot your career in the face then fuck the bullet wound.

Currently, it's

1) Latham
2) Proskauer
3) Clifford Chance
4) McDermott

5) Dechert
6) Chadbourne
7) McKee
8) DLA
9) Bryan Cave

5) Dechert
6) Chadbourne
7) McKee
8) DLA
9) Bryan Cave

Morning Wood.

at least latham was honest about its layoffs. unlike firms that are still stealthily showing numerous folks the door (ahem, dpw), leaving them in the unfortunate position of searching for jobs without the (small amount of) job-finding help that an honest round of lay-offs provides.

At least Elie has a girl to share his life with, what most of you frustrated big law guys posting silly comments about his anniversary have not. Tonight, you will just go back in your tiny matchbox alone, watch tv or surf the internet alone, sleep alone and wake up tomorrow morning alone, maybe happy to be professionally alive in this economy but terribly alone, more frustrated and bitter day after day as your big law life does not and will not give you the chance to meet and date someone. Ultimately, many of you will go in-house after 7 or 8 years once you realize you will not make partner, hoping to get some sentimental time back and raise a family, but it will be too late already, unfortunately.

Congrats on the anniversary. Have fun on your vacation!

Can someone explain the first paragraph of this post?

Can someone explain the first paragraph of this post?

What MysTTTal meant to write: "Have fun, I'll catch and eat you on August 17th."

61

It's much better to look for a job when you can say you still work at your firm. Not at LaTTTham though!

They gave people 0 days notice and told them to gtfo by Sunday.

Trust me, "honest layoff" means nothing. People still look at you like you're a fuckup.

Stay away from ATL MysTTTal

Happy anniversary, Elie.

But why "five-year anniversary"? Why not just "fifth anniversary"?

I am really glad you are gone Elie. With the whole prick/ snarky/ irresponsible journalism element removed from the website, it is a much smoother and more enjoyable read. Please don't come back.