Closing the Door Loop On Cristina Warthen
For those of you considering prostitution to pay off your law school debts (you know who you are), consider the cautionary tale of Cristina Warthen. As we have previously reported, Cristina graduated from Stanford Law School in 2001. But instead of going into Biglaw, Cristina adopted the porn name “Brazil” and turned herself into a high-priced escort.
Granted, if she graduated today, Cristina might have been able to get some public interest deferral money for her “service.” But this was a long time ago.
And for a while Cristina was a smashing success. She even landed a rich husband, AskJeeves founder David Warthen.
But the Warthens were hit hard by the recession, and the couple split. Meanwhile, the government came looking for $313,000 in back taxes from Cristina’s sultry side business.
The ABA Journal reports that there is a resolution in Cristina’s case. What sentence did she get?
Cristina argued that she couldn’t pay the $313,000 because she wouldn’t be getting as much from the divorce proceedings as she had hoped. It seems like the court was sympathetic to that argument:
Stanford law graduate Cristina Warthen has been sentenced to one year of home detention and ordered to pay $243,000 for failing to pay taxes on money earned running an escort service.U.S. District Judge James Ware also sentenced Warthen to three years of probation and said she could not continue to advertise her escort services during that period, the San Jose Mercury News reports.
I’m no expert, but I think it’s nearly impossible to “escort” anybody anywhere while on house arrest.
But I bet Cristina can still have … visitors.
Even though it is inadvisable to provide paid companionship in order to pay off your loans, one can appreciate the situation recent graduates are looking at. The distinction between professional escorts and effective networkers is getting mighty blurry.
Stanford Law Grad Gets Home Detention for Unpaid Taxes on Escort Earnings [ABA Journal]
Earlier: The Stanford Law Escort: And She Lived Happily Ever After
Ask Jeeves: Why Was Your Wife (Stanford Law ‘01) Indicted for Tax Evasion on Prostitution Proceeds?
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Each post's threads are polluted with the sniveling of deferred, no-offered and fired grunts. So let me be clear about something: If you are laid off this late into the recession, then you are dilatory and inane--the latter of which will rapidly lead to a life of penury.
For those wretched schlubs studying for the LSAT, allow me to assist you in understanding this conditional/cause and effect reasoning:
Laid Off Person --> Dilatory & Inane --> Penurious
alternative sentence: a 'date' with Roman Polanski.
THIS POST IS DILATORY AND INANE
-JE
I think that the comments made by JaKE Emeritous are the best ones here. He is funny and always smart. I look forward to reading his comments every day. His points are good ones and always are good for some chukles. I hope that he keeps making them here in the future.
@5 - JaKe
I think there are actually only about five people who generate 95% of the comments on ATL. Or maybe three people.
I find JaKe Emeritus to be obnoxious, full of himself and ignorant. That being said, he should be congratulated for being named the #12 online character by The Docket, the student paper at Case Western Law. His father, PE, was named #3.
Any post is worthless tripe until JE comments. This post is no longer worthless tripe. Please continue....
I agree with 7.
- 7
If I had used the services of this provider instead of Alexandra Dupre, perhaps I would still be Governor of New York.
7 and 10 = JE
Maybe Acorn can help her out.
"Cristina argued that she couldn’t pay the $313,000 because she wouldn’t be getting as much from the divorce proceedings as she had hoped. It seems like the court was sympathetic to that argument:"
=FAIL. Sorry, honey, don't rely on your ex-husband to pay YOUR debts. Wonder how much she paid for those lips?
JE, you are a glutonous ass.
I agree with 12.
- 7, 10, 12
I didn't post what 3 posted.
-The Real 3
3, 16, 17 = JE
I know. I did.
7/10/12/16/17
Dilatory, Penury, Inane.
8 - Did you just make up "Case Western Law," or is that a real school? Please advise.
8: William J. Higgonbotham
Gals in my high school used to have to serve home confinement and pay back taxes on their escort services all the time. It was no big deal.
WTF is Case Western? Is that like Western State's formal name? WTF is Western State? I'm going into a K-hole, wake me up when dipshits from HUGE TTT's stop commenting.
2's "schtick" is the least funny thing I have ever seen on the world wide web.
2, you must have really funny jokes to share with your co-workers during office lunches.
That guy.
25 is a dilatory, inane and penurious unemployed idiot.
24: Case Western is a chain of budget motels.
I'd like to Skadden all over her face.
Why is this illegal again? Because men don't want to pay for something that legally is free? How about we start making some money in this country by legalizing pot and prostitution and taxing it. Can you imagine the taxes you could get off of these salaries? This country is so dumb. The psycho Christian men who run this joint are the ones against legalizing it, and then are the same ones who pick up tranny hookers on the street.
@30 good call. Where do these X lawyers advertise.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Case_Western_Reserve_University
Also, this bitch is ugly. I wouldn't fuck her with JaKe's dick.
Bizarre lack of mention of billed hourly girl in this article.
the Jake shtick is SO dense.
It's like reading a Russian novel in a paragraph.
I get it, you use fancy words. Wow. Amazing.
--Ivy Guy--
the Jake shtick is SO dense.
It's like reading a Russian novel in a paragraph.
I get it, you use fancy words. Wow. Amazing.
--Ivy Guy--
Just so I'm clear on this - it doesn't appear as though she's been disbarred. Has she?
If not, would she be a slam dunk hire at any law firm, even never having apparently practiced before, despite the economy and because of what (/whom) she could bring to the firm?
34/35: you are DENSE; you posted twice, idiot.
Jake, the word dilatory doesn't even work there. You're an idiot. Did you go to Brooklyn Law School? You do look like a trashy New Yorker.
Once again, I am amazed that anyone actually gets angry and takes anything posted from the Emeritus clan seriously.
30 for the WIN!
The people complaining about prostitution are the ones who get caught with their pants down all the time!
It's sex! No big deal.
OOH - she can't Advertise! And she has to stay Home! Ouch! Hell, all she has to do at this point is keep her listing in the phonebook... and the Clients will continue to beat a path to her door. Apparently Hizzoner is pretending not to know about "in-call" services... cuz, like, you just KNOW he's never come across that sort of thing in his clean life, right?
I wonder kind of payback he expects for handing up a non-sentence? It's gotta be worth a CBJ or two, right, Christine?
I was wrong. She doesn't even need a phonebook listing...
Just Friend her:
http://www.facebook.com/cristina.warthen?ref=search&sid=1237455202.2141476705..1
Hizzoner apparent;y has not heard of social websites, either, right? Right?
I think that she may have had some plastic surgery. I am just not quite sure that her lips are natural. Also, based on her facebook picture, her breasts may have been artificially enhanced too.
You think she may have had some plastic surgery?
Are you kidding me?
In another five years she'll be competing with Jocelyn Wildenstein and Fay Dunaway. Looks like she went to the same guy.