This guy needs to STFU:

http://business.theatlantic.com/2009/09/whats_the_point_of_lawyer_job_deferrals.php

None of them are better than "Forget about that Lobb kid, someone should tell the Mexican looking judge that we don't actually have to dig..." You saw that he's the only one actually digging, didn't you? This poll is fatally flawed.

first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pls have 'none of the above' as a choice - they all sucked.

some of those were hilarious. thanks for the laugh!

For the love of God, you can't have dialogue as a caption. All of you losers who voted J are idiots.

Why not call it Wang Chung? Ass.

wow, these suck

Maybe I just had a long day, but "DigLaw" made me laugh out loud...

J is humorous only if you do not appreciate hard work or if you yourself do not work hard.

Incidentally, I work hard at my father's preeminent peer law firm and I do not find the joke humorous.

Also, since judging by the activity level of the comments most of you roll into work after 9am, let me offer a useful tip: get to work, plebs.

Is this the courthouse groundbreaking the lawyer jumped in on?

I think my caption was better than any of these, but I knew the liberal democrats that run this site wouldn't pick it:

"Having searched all over Iraq, the Iraqi Survey Team came to Texas to continue its search for Saddam Hussein's Weapons of Mass Destruction."

This non-story merits no attention. During lunch today, I had a conversation about the splendid topic of affirmative action. As most of you know, I am not against affirmative action, however, in light of the fact that Commissar Obama is the top executive in our nation, the question of the day should be whether Obama's ascension will mark the end of affirmative action. After all, affirmative action was designed to redress stale racism and promote diversity. We have a president who was carried by affirmative action all the way into the White House. Now that an African American is the top executive in our country, has affirmative action lived its course? As the picture in this story suggests, perhaps it is time to bury affirmative action once and for all. What do you think?

Oh, good, PE and JE have gotten on our Greyhound Bus of a Blog. Why, by the way, does PE not fire JE when he sees that, rather than doing the hard work that JE tells us he does, JE spend his days slumming with us?

Law students are voting for B. Associates are voting for J.

"Now listen up fellows....you shove the sharp end up the ass of the summer associate who won't get an offer,.... and the wooden end up the ass of the summer who will be deferred till 2012...!!!"

these are all fucking stupid.

I'm pretty sure that's no backhoe. I base this on the fact that there's no hoe on the back. If there were one, it would be extending up and back, probably covering up the telephone pole visible in the middle of the photo.

Typical associate. Thinks he spotted an issue when it's apparent he doesn't really understand what's going on.

i have to agree with three

7 is right. Why don't people understand that a caption is never a dialogue?

This post is addressed to Commenter #14:

You are a moron; it is of zero wonder why you will never attend a preeminent peer law school and why you will never have gainful employment at a preeminent peer law firm.

First, you utterly fail at fact collection. A quick glance at my bio will reveal that I am currently a law student. Thus, to answer your question about why my father doesn't fire me: my father cannot fire me from law school.

Second, because as a summer associate I was so adept and worked 80-hour plus weeks every week, my immediate supervisor did not mind that I frequented ATL. The only reason you have difficulty understanding how legal excellence and a few minutes spent reading a blog can go together is because you are so utterly inept and inefficient at legal work that you are unable to even cognize the idea of the two going together.

"None of us knows how to use a shovel? I guess we could have used the advice of a wise latina after all...."

WTF - that clearly should have gotten in, as should have the "tell him we don't actually have to dig" caption....you people are way too sensitive to race-based humor.

What does this post have to do with year-old layoffs at Latham?

Apparantly none of you is interested in discussing my proposed topic of affirmative action. It seems that nobody in the younger generation ever wants to discuss any topic other than popular culture or graphic sexual matters. Alas, perhaps someone will raise a topic along those lines and arouse my interests...

PE, I'd like to know if Jake will be staffed on my father's matters when he joins your firm. My father of course, is one of your biggest clients, having founded one of the city's preeminent peer investment management firms.

Also, I assume you'll be arranging for a driver to come pick up my father and I before our round of golf this weekend in Westchester. And PE, don't wear the high socks, we were embarrassed last time.

PE - Your infantile drivel may have just barely passed as irritating nonsense worth ignoring before you decided to post offensive ramblings about a fellow lawyer's suicide. At that point you deserved to be outed so that you will never be able to pollute our profession, you sick, twisted fuck.

You're a funny guy, Weasel. That's why I'm going to kill you last.

Dearest Father:

Please know that Commenter #25 is a charlatan; his father founded a preeminent investment management firm, not a preeminent peer investment management firm.

Citation: http://abovethelaw.com/2009/09/judicial_pay_follow-up.php?show=comments#comment-1242626

H and J are easily the funniest. Only bitter law students or unemployed recent grads voted for B.

JE, my fact collection is superior to yours, even though my family tree consists of Weasels.

In this very thread, you said "I work hard at my father's preeminent peer law firm" (Post 10). Then, in Post 21, just a scant two hours later, you are a law student again.

Those sunglasses hide a charlatan. You can't even spell your last name correctly, or at least the same as your father's. Then again, your father can't even spell his name consistently. Compare Posts 13 & 24. His preeminence is probably irrelevant, because MomEmeritus bore you after banging the gardener.

EW

Careful, 26, or I will deliver you a blow you will not soon forget!

@29 Who the fuck are you calling bitter?!?
- B

I SHARTED and PUSSY FARTED on PE's and JE's ugly heads :) Oopsie.

-CWT 05 NY Female Associate

This post is addressed to Commenter #30:

First, I worked as a summer associate at my father's preeminent peer law firm, and now I have returned to complete my legal eduation at a preeminent peer law school. Only you would fail to understand such a simple timeline.

Second, if you are unable to notice that someone is impersonating my father, it is of no wonder why you are a failure in the legal profession. Partner Emertius is not only the imposter with a mispelled name, he also uses plebeian grammar and run-on sentences, both of which my father abhors.

In any event, your inability to distinguish between two distinct personalities clearly explains why you are an abominable failure both as an ATL schtick and, more importanly, as an attorney.

B is the only non-terrible option.

Marshall Dennehey to $52 k !

These captions are objectively horrible.

Please include a "None of the Above" option in the future. None of the proposed captions have ever been even the slightest bit amusing.

A bunch of white guys in suits holding shovels...got to be "Pretend to be a wetback day" down in Texas.

24/PE - no, we're interested in you going away, because you did shtick about a suicide.

The captions and the PE and JE comments are all fucking stupid.

7 is right. J should be DQ'ed and B should win by default.

B should take this. But the "mexican-looking judge" one referenced by 3 is the real winner here.

It is of grave concern that one should focus on an African-American's ascension to the Oval office as a reflection that affirmative action has run its course. Though that particular argument may possibly contain a certain degree of validity, it deflects one's attention from the more plausible argument that affirmative action arguably has not run its course until the majority of Fortune 500 companies are minority ran and/or owned. One may possibly arrive at this argument if that person concludes that the real power of the country rests in the hands of the Captains of Commerce and not in the hands of the so-called unwashed masses.

On the other hand, it may prove useful for you to disregard the forgoing comment and return to your billing.

J is the tits.

Twenty years from now, the Class of 2010 laments the closing words of Judge Smails' graduation speech: "And so I will say to you fledgling lawyers as I said to young Danny Noonan, 'The world needs ditch diggers too . . . .' "

B and J are both funny, but B wins extra points for timeliness. B for the W!

18 - Of course it's a backhoe. You can't see the hoe in the picture because it's cut off on the left. And the hoe is on the front of a backhoe (so the guy driving it can see what he's doing). It wouldn't make much sense to have it on the back of the machine.

Do you actually think the guys in suits are going to dig the whole thing (no pun intended)? Do you actually think they're going to get the union knuckle-draggers to pick up shovels and do some actual work?

Now this picture really sums up law practice. There is no way that those sr. partners are digging anything with those shovels--just like there is no way that sr. partners write the briefs.

Holy shit these are terrible.
The only decent one is B.

Note to the rest of you losers: the key to a punchline is to give it some PUNCH.