Before any douche Duke Law grad/student says it, we know, "you feel you're being unfairly lumped in with your undergrad douches"

The fact that you constantly are tyring to distance yourself from your douchiness really does emphasize how big of a douche you are.

c/o The Douche Review Committee

Normally, I would say we should hold the polls until we see which school contributes the most to Latham's summer class, because this is prima facie proof of douchiness. But Latham has Lathamed its own reputation so much that it will never again be able to recruit at law schools as prestigious as these finalists.

Dweeb does not equal douche. The photo of the polo wearing, pink sweater over the shoulders, blonde hair coiffed, tanned, man = douche. Where do you see guys like that on campus? This round should not be a close call.

Honestly...there is NO WAY that Duke is Douchier than Georgetown. Allow me to debunk the two main threads I've seen regarding Duke's Douchiness.

1) The law students have little to no interaction with the undergrads, who are the True douches of the University. I personally hate every single undergrad...personally.

2) Tucker Max hated Duke Law. He is not one of us.

I need not point to any indicia of douchiness to establish that Georgetown is full of douches. It comes with the territory.

Checkmate.

Souhaitez-vous prendre une douche avec moi?

I realize that UVA is the underdog in its matchup but trust me when I say they will be the dark horse that wins this contest.

5: Thanks for proving my point.

~2

@5: the Georgetown/Duke match may have been a close one. Unfortunately, you had approximately 5,000 Georgetown Law students voting for Duke, and however many Georgetown grads doing the same. That's a hard advantage to overcome.

Winner of Harvard v. UVA bracket takes the championship

Go 'Hoos!

It is absurd that these contests aren't both totally unanimous wins for UVA and Duke. There are way too many people just voting for the more prestigious schools. UVA in particular should have run away with this thing a long time ago.

It has been so obvious from the beginning that this "competition" really feeds on individuals' jealousies of (1) students/alumni that actually enjoy their schools or (2) the academic reputations of these schools.

I'd be willing to bet that most people voting against these schools would have jumped at the opportunity to attend of one of them, given the chance.

6
Bein, pourquoi pas? Ca me ferait grand plaisir!

Strongly disagree, 10. Duke is clearly far douchier than HLS and would give UVA a run for its money. Duke v. UVA is the Lakers v. Celtics of law school douchiness competition.

I think if the school itself is what we are looking at, rather than the individuals, then the school has to win that says "we are so great that we don't need to grade you - you're superior because you breathe the air of this institution, and we need not distinguish between you."

Besides, it just feels great to knock Duke out of any final 4.

14,

The problem is I think Duke Law is getting unfairly grouped with Duke undergrad. Duke law is neither douche nor impressive...

3, what did Latham do that was so douchey? And what does it mean to "Latham" one's reputation? I've been reading this blog for years and I've never seen such odd usage.

I agree with 15. The attitude that, if you get a high enough LSAT or are an URM who can yodle with a reasonable LSAT, you should really be protected from any negative feedback on your law school performance, or indeed your professional performance for the rest of your life.

16, you get an automatic 100 douche points solely on the basis of being located in the South. Duke and UVA should start out here with insurmountable leads before you even look at the douches in the student body (where I agree UVA ought to be cleaning up right now and in the finals -- too many jealous HLS haters though).

16, see 2. Thanks.

Harvard has a FUCKING DOUCHE-INSPIRED CLOTHING LINE. THEY MUST WIN.

http://www.selectism.com/news/2009/08/06/harvard-yard-harvards-menswear-line/

Let's see, Spitzer went to Harvard.
Nixon went to Duke.
Yoo went to Yale.
Sanford went to UVA.

Tough call here.

19 - that comment just proves the point that bridge and tunnel yankees are by far the biggest douches around.

C'mon people, wake up. UVA trailing anyone in a douche competition is completely unacceptable and proves the illegitimacy of this exercise.

I suppose I should know the answer to this, but are these four law schools accredited by the American Bar Association and members in good standing of the Association of American Law Schools?

21 FTW

Kash

Can we have a commentor douche off? We could pit PE against the "Is it accredited" asshole.

If UVA wins most douchy, not sure what it says about the readers of this blog that UVA would win both America's coolest and America's douchiest law school.

Do people in the South still call Northerners Yankees? Really?

Do people in the South still call Northerners Yankees? Really?

I don't think Harvard belongs, but Yale is easily the douchiest school in the country. I have to believe that all people voting for Duke (a) are Yale grads, (b) have never met a Yale grad, or (c) are college basketball fans who have no connection with the law and just got here by googling "Duke + douche."

Without question, UVA, Georgetown and Penn are all more douche-laden than Duke.

2 = unmistakably an ignorant douchebag law student or recent grad (and likely a product of the "GULC" diploma factory)

9 = absolutely right. GULC creates a huge voting block because it has more law students than the rest of the T14 combined.

21, agreed that the clothing line is ridiculous but I think you're conflating douchiness with preppiness or milquetoastishness. Southern frat style is pretty much core douche.

28 - what is means is that UVa is douchey enough to have stuffed the ballot box in the first contest. go hoos.

I can't believe Cornell didn't win this.

When I was there for undergrad, I enjoyed picking on fat, pasty law students fraternizing at the Chapter House and outside of the hemp shops in Ithaca commons.

CORNELL FRAT STUD

Perhaps the best line eveeeeerrrrrr:

"As noted by LEWW, douchage does not necessarily correlate with prestige. In the last round, we saw UVA triumph over Columbia for example."

@8 -- No kidding!

I second 27. And I vote for PE.

If the two finalists were Stanford and Harvard, I think you would have a point..

I hope the committee has law firm librarians. I think the final position should be the school that taught (?) the student who asked "Where is the print version of Westlaw?"

Re comment # 2 - you nailed it. Duke absolutely sucks, and are the biggest whiny douches.

UVA should win this in a landslide. Bunch of carpetbaggers trying to act Southern.

Southern = douchey
Acting southern = really douchey
Acting southern when you not really even in the South = extremely douchey.

Suffolk Law is the Duke of Community Colleges

31, you've never met a yale grad. I've met a few at my firm's lunches/dinners/outings. nicest, most interesting bunch at my firm.

32 - you realize that harvard has about as many students as GULC, right? Trust me, i'm no big fan of that douchebag infested institution, but i'm just saying...

44 raises a good point.

Douches per capita should be taken into account. UVA should crush Harvard in this poll for that reason.

Concur will 11. The UVA v. Harvard match up should be the final round, with UVA winning.

29 - Not if they are really from the South. If they are from the north and want to pretend, then, yes, they do.

Why is Yale even in this competition?? Harvard, Chicago, Duke and UVA are all way, WAY douchier than Yale.

9: You're missing the obvious here. Duke students/alumni will *also* be voting for Duke here, because THEY WANT TO BE NUMBER 1!!!!

21 is right. Any school that decides to market their own line of clothing is the supreme douche. The Douche-issimo if you will.

Though you do have to contemplate why Duke and Douche sound and look none to coincidentally alike.

Hows Regents Law School did not win the entire thing is beyond me....this alone should do it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVCmG9unMEc

I have to say that the '08 duke law class had very few douches. '09 seemed definitely douchier, but still not that bad. Can't say much about the other years, but from what I've seen they didn't seem all that bad. Except for '78. That year was the douchiest of them all.

I'm still voting for Duke (even though I went there), but this appears to be one of the least scientific and most biased polls out there. I mean, I've only met people from Duke and UVA and yet I'm still voting on all the other schools. And UVA should win. But my vote still goes to Duke.

41 - You win bonus points for being incredibly obtuse. UVA is most definitely in the South. Richmond, VA was the capital of the CSA.

You, sir, have the singular distinction of being the most Obtuse Douche!

Idiots voting for Duke are simply pre-emptively lashing out before they're destroyed on Big D's romp to the National Championship!! Go to Hell Carolina, go to Hell!!

19: So if you think an institution should get 100 points solely for being in the South, what do you do with the curious case of Duke? The institution is located in the South, but all the students are from the North. It's essentially an entire group of unwanted Northern students located in one faux gothic campus....I smell extreme douchiness. I say Duke start off 200 points in the lead for being a group of law students neither wanted by the North nor accepted by the South.

UVA isn't in Richmond, it's in Charlottesville, which is north of Richmond. Not really in the south but definitely douchey. Take it from me, I went there.

53 - I think we can all agree that in the 1860s, Virginia was the South. Culturally, though, Charlottesville, VA is a hell of a lot closer to Massachusetts or New Hampshire than to the Deep South. Virginia is a Southern state the same way Florida is: by virtue of history and geography, not culture. FYI - went to UVA Law, from Georgia originally.

UVA = D-bag central. End of story.

So this douche-off has been pretty well followed by some people down here at Vandy. We're glad not to be "competing" despite our proclivity for seersucker, popped collars, and bourbon...

UVA should have been the #1 seed hands down, and whoever seeded this bracket should come out and admit they are a UVA douchebag themselves.

UVA should have been the #1 seed hands down, and whoever seeded this bracket should come out and admit they are a UVA douchebag themselves.

55 - Agreed. Same could be said of Emory.

Southern Frat Cats don't dress like the guy pictured. They may be dicks but they're not douches.

For Christ's sake, Duke Law is a bunch of harmless DECA types from Orlando with 169 LSATs who went there because they got a 5K/year scholarship and wanted to stand out from UF grads. It is not a bunch of goobs from Long Island like the undergrad is.

57, you've clearly never been to Massachusetts or New Hampshire (or even NYC). Even compared to DC, which is still more southern than anything (I grew up there but have lived in NYC, Boston & SF since then), Charlottesville is unmistakably southern. Sure, it may not be Mobile, Alabama; but "northern" (or even close) it is not.

46 is spot on. The fact that Penn and Georgetown are out while Yale is in is laughable. Seriously, Yale? That school is CLEARLY full of dweebs and asshats. The fact that someone got into Yale (with very rare exception) means that they study too much to be a douche.

UVA is a clear winner to this contest.

56 - While not in Richmond, it is in the same State (or Commonwealth if you prefer). Which makes it part of the South.

Now shut up, go pop your collar and ask Winston the 3rd, if the two of you are still on for squash tonight.

27 - I can assure you, my son is the biggest douchebag in America. There is no need for a vote.

57 - By deep south, you mean Alabama, Lowsyana, or Georgia? If that is your Mason-Dixon so be it.

66-Alexandria and Arlington are also in Virginia, but they aren't exactly "southern."

at least UVA lands SCOTUS clerks. Something Duke is unable to do.

you jealous idiots have no idea what Harvard is like, do you?

These results are surprising. Maybe people have undergrad doucheness in mind when casting their votes. Duke undergrads are incredible douchebags, but the law kids are ok in my experience. Yale law students tend to be prestige-whore douches, even more so than other T14ers. And UVA has the douchiest law students by far. Anyone who's been to the softball tournament should be aware of this.

Virginia is a Southern state with a serious immigration problem.

69 - By what definition are they not "southern"?

72 - By virtue of your softball tournament reference, you, sir, are a douche.

By definition, every single one of these law schools is 100% full of douchebags, since every single one of their respective students desperately wants to be a law school graduate. Ergo, this poll is moot.

As ATL's foremost expert on douchebaggery, I feel proud that Harvard (which I attended twice) is stioll in the running. Go Crimson!

Also, bad news on the Future Elie front, Dear Readers. Since I travelled back in time from the 2020s, I was hoping that I could get some shelter in 2009. I visited Present-Day Elie, but he refused to answer his door or his phone, for me. So, the past week I have been living in a large UPS box in th city, andd working on my writing here at the library, hoping for a chage of luck, and the possibility to get back to pursuing my journalism career that I have been finely tuned to accomplish. Alas, things havern't turned out the way I had planned, due to the racism of white American society. Obama may stll be President in 2009, but we have a lot to overcome yet. But the really bad news is, my UPS box has been stolen by some street urchins, today. I returned from Gray's Papaya with a few dogs, ad it was gone.

So, if any New Yorkers out there have seen a large manilla colored UPS box with two Harvard degrees duct taped to the inside of it, please make a post here and we can set up a time when I ca retreive it. Thanks in advance.

There's no way Harvard should be beating UVA. No way.

Anyone who cares about this so-called contest is a d-bag.

79 - Ergo vis-a-vis your post, you sir, are a douche.

75 - lol

If this poll has any legitimacy -- Duke and UVA go to the finals, with UVA taking it all via titanic, crushing victory.

31 - you forgot D) UNC grads and E) people from North Carolina

I know a Duke Law douche who got himself engaged while he was engaged to someone else. Douche-y.

How is UVA not winning? I don't think a douche poll where UVA loses is legit.

People who say that UVa should win this going away 1) are jealous that they wasted three years of their lives with miserable uninteresting neurotics (hence all the bashing of the fun that UVa kids had; Dukies, GULC and Penn grads, no doubt), and 2) obviously don't know that many UVa people. I went to a really good undergrad, and I assure you that in general UVa law kids were far more down-to-earth, balanced and nice.

86 - tell your mom she left her panties at my place.

Harvard may be too big to categorize this way. It is freighted with unsocialized, pompous jerks, but it's share is likely no greater than any T10.

UVA? The cult of softball is damning enough. Its douchy faux-Grounds campus, a brazen attempt to ape the douchiest undergrad campus design of them all, is the school equivalent of a suburban jersey McMansion. Also unforgivable is the number of people talking about "Mr. Jefferson"---as if he were still alive and holding the whip-hand, or asking you to undo his breeches yet again. Its cheek to jowl proximity to Darden's money-grubbing permanent-bluetooth-earpiece crowd gives it an added margin of douchiness by osmosis. The students' incessant laboring to distance the school from its state-funded millieu, while still trying to bask in the "tradition," is well-known. UVA for the win. Wahoowa.

87, my mom says thanks for doing her laundry for her on short notice. She especially loves how your sister touches up her lingerie like a professional launderer. She left an extra five spot on top of the toilet near your retainer and your Rogaine.

88, neither Darden nor the Law School is state funded. True fact. I don't know what "state school milieu" means. The undergrad is a state school, the B and L schools are not. Big deal. Why the hostility? Didn't get in to the L school?

14 Sanford went to UVA for business not law, so erroneous.

As for the Southern hate, lets remember that all Southern douchebags are point in fact, from the North.

George W. Bush!

You may not like frat kids in seersucker, but the sure as hell aren't the cocksuckers with their own line of douchewear (Harvard), a lacrosse team whose defense was 'We just roughed her up a bit, never raped her', or an admit policy of 'we admit Heroin addicts because ever since the Asian race got off opium New Havens' been a dull town.'

So here's a suggestion, if you hate the South so much quit fucking moving here...stop. Its spoiled white kids from the Northeast and their Reaganite model minority friends who throw on the conservatism of the south that create the greatest form of douch known to man kind. The sort of douche that could even clean out the foul maws of Chicago law students....Tucker Carlson

"Reaganite model minority"? What the F are you talking about? That, sir, was the definition or rambling diatribe.

Harvard is getting extra votes because so many people got rejected from it. UVA is truly douchey.

state school milieu = douchespeak

THE University = douchespeak

Looks like a dead heat between Harvard and UVA

Cameron Crazies = douchespeak

Human Rights Truth Commission = douchespeak

Looks like a dead heat between Yale and Duke

Harvard-like students that are too stupid to get into Harvard = extra douchey = UVA students.

2 beats 5 and 16.

96. Brilliant. With that logic I'm sure you made the Cooley Law Journal.

1. People at dook are not southerners. They're all from New Jersey. There's a reason even Tucker Max, the king of douches, calls dook the University of New Jersey, Durham Campus.

2. Anyone who thinks dook is being unfairly grouped with their undergrads has never met a dook law student. dook will win this competition, hands down.

3. Just look at 54's comment. That's your average dook student, as douchey as possible and dragging basketball into a law school douche-ness competition (that's aside from the fact that dook would get their asshole destroyed in basketball by Kansas, MSU, Nova, UK, and UNC easily).

It doesn't matter who wins Duke vs. UVA. Harvard will remain.

It doesn't matter who wins Duke vs. Yale. Harvard will remain.

The only people who voted Harvard as douchier than UVA are TTT bottom dwellers who have never work with T14 attorneys and therefore have an institutional bias against Harvard.

Anyone that has spent a single minute with a UVA alum knows that Charlottesville produces the douchiest douches.

55 has an excellent point

102, judging by your post, I don't know of a single UVa grad that would be willing to socialize with you, you megadouchebag.

Duke is definitely going to take this thing. I wish I could say it is undeserved.

- Duke 3L

Thanks 86/88. My sister is good at a lot of things. If you ever switch teams, you should give her a call.

As a UChicago alum, I am very pleased that none of you discovered (or thought to point out) that this guy went to Chicago.

http://www.esquirebdrm.com/profiles/3304

104's post: simply more evidence of UVA's douchery (and that this "competition" is completely illegitimate given the current UVA vs. HLS status)

108's post: yet another example of a douchebag acting like a non-douche on an anonymous website, much like an online predator acting like a teen on a chat board. Do not trust this douchebag; he's listed in the federal douche registry.

UVA is home to douches from New Jersey who think their 3 years in the quasi-south makes saying "y'all" somehow endearing.

The lack of self-awareness in the comments is palpable.

110, I knew two people from Jersey, y'all. Y'all don't know what you're talking about.

UVa '09 (y'all)

It's dook, and it's not close.

i was an undergrad at duke, and spent a ton of time in the gym playing pick up basketball games. by far the worst people to play with and against were the law students. they were dirty, thought they were far better than they actually were, and tried to cheat their heads off during intramurals.

people would often joke about who the 'worst people at duke' were...the line monitors who police k-ville, the cameron crazies, dudes in the douchier frats...i'd say that among the undergrads who had the misfortune of interacting with them, the prevailing sentiment is the worst people at duke are the law students.

102 is exactly the kind of douche that Harvard produces by the hundreds every year, and that is the very reason Harvard WILL win this contest. It will be a legitimate win.

114 - agreed. dook law students cheated at a charity touch football game.

People at Duke are happy about this. It's the first time Duke's made the Final Four in years

114 = douchey Duke undergrad.

71 = douchiest comment ever

i am legitimately jealous that i didn't get into HLS, and had to go to another T5. even now, it pains me to admit this.

nevertheless, it is a fact that every HLS student i have met over the past 3 years has been (objectively) socially malignant. we are talking halitosis, cufflinks, double-breasted suits, compulsive fake chuckling, shifty eyes, shaky hands, total lack of sense of humor, inability to hold liquor, male consumption of fruity cocktails, vigorous expounding with hand gestures about future market conditions, etc. i am referring to a half-dozen people, all of whom exhibited some combination of the above.

HLS FTW

WOW . . check out the link in 107's post. There is enough douchiness in that one guy to bring Chicago back into reconsideration. Nice work.

Hofstra is the Touro of Ozone Park,Queens

First to say so many Carolina douches don't have a job so they come to vote against Duke

UVA and HLS definitely bring different flavors of doucheyness to the table. That said, if I had to sit around until 3am waiting for a deal to close, I'd rather spend it with a fun loving, beirut obsessed UVA alum than some HLS douche with a pole rammed up his ass. Take the lesser of two evils, people. HLS FTW.

@120 -- You made me laugh so hard I puked. I graduated MCL from HLS about 20 years ago, and wanted to kill myself because of how pathetic were most of the students. Absolutely no social graces. Not a clue at what it takes to be interesting. 7 reasonably cute girls out of a class of 550. And just about every guy was the epitome of douche -- afraid of his own shadow, yet convinced he was so cool.

I, of course, led a different life. :-) Just hung out in the bars for 3 years waiting to live Boston. Few regrets (other than a fatty liver)

Sorry -- obviously "leave" not "live."

--125

how was vanderbilt not included? how? how?

127, excellent question. That was a serious oversight.

123: And what exactly are you doing on here Dookie?

Does UGA have a law school? They would win this hands down if so. The undergrad is solely made up of douches.

Duke is without a doubt the douchiest. Even moreso than Harvard and/or Yale. At least Harvard and/or Yale have a reason to be douchy. There is simply no reason Duke is and/or should be considered a top law school. Therefore, presuming that it is makes the students and the school douches.

As soon as Coach K retires, Duke will be Seton Hall, but closer to South of the Border.

The absence of Georgetown and Penn from the final four is inexcusable.

I agree with sentiments of 125, I see it every day...luckily HLS is big enough to find at least SOME people who are down.

to 120 in attacking HLS ability to drink: I dare you to spend one evening here with us. You will be puking and crying for your mom or boyfriend before midnight.

133 - People at schools like Harvard only think they can drink because they don't spend time around real drinkers. Sure, you might outdrink the Harvard undergrads (a.k.a., nerds that never party), but try going to a place where people have absolutely nothing to do but drink (the midwest and the south) and you'll get your ass and liver handed to you.

In short, HLS pussies can't drink for shit.

134 - Bring it...you may forget that many of us went to undergrad in those places...Kentucky, UGA, Florida, UCSB, Boulder, ASU, etc.

- 132

harvard is out douching uva??? false.

I still can't believe NYU and it's we're-so-hip-it-hurts-let's-Twitter-for-Obama douches got knocked out in the first round

This summer there were people from both Harvard and UVa. The Harvard people were far bigger douches.

HTH

@112 it's ya'll, not y'all

UVA '08, ya'll