ATL Caption Contest: We Dig This
When we run caption contests here at ATL, we prefer to withhold the back story on the photo. However, this photo, and the story behind it, has gone viral. We’ve gotten it many times in tips — Thanks, tipsters! — and even our non-lawyer friends have been sending it to us.
We’re running a contest anyway, but we’ll give you the back story now… or after the jump rather. Same rules apply as always: Submit possible captions in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal bent — and let you vote for the best one.
Here’s the photo of a bunch of legal types:
Think of a great caption. Write it down. Then check out the real and incredibly bizarre caption for this photo after the jump.
This photo is from Texas. The land of 2500 sq ft and a Lex…. huh, who’s that?
One of the guys in the photo is not like the others. See the one on the right in the white hard hat. He wasn’t invited to the ground-breaking party.
From the Austin American-Statesman:
The row of shovel-wielding dignitaries at the groundbreaking for Austin’s new federal courthouse this month included members of Congress, federal judges and others with a hand in planning and funding the $100 million-plus project.At the end of the row was George Lobb.
It’s not clear how Lobb, a young lawyer who sometimes practices in federal court, got there. But there he was, wearing a gray suit, a hardhat and a wide grin for the cameras.
One of the best parts of this story is that a reporter got this quote from Judge Andy Austin.
“We had an interloper,” said U.S. Magistrate Judge Andy Austin, who said local federal judges were not amused. “It was almost like this Forrest Gump thing.”“The night after the groundbreaking, I was watching the news and I saw a shot of the group. I was like, ‘What the hell was he doing in there?’” Austin said.
The American-Statesman reporter reached out to Lobb, but he “fell silent” and said he would call the reporter back. He never did.
Lobb, a University of Houston law grad, must have been really excited about the ground-breaking. He brought his own shovel!
Lobb brought his own shovel to the event, which he had painted orange and white, and at one point asked Austin and other judges to sign it.When Shala Geer-Smith, a spokeswoman for the General Services Administration who was helping organize the event, spotted Lobb with the shovel and in line for the picture, she handed him one of the ceremonial shovels, which were painted gold, Austin said.
“She didn’t know who it was and didn’t want to risk offending him by asking,” Austin said.
When the group lined up for pictures, Lobb took his place to the far right.
Lobb better hope he never has a case before Judge Austin. The judge is not happy with Lobb, who he accused of stealing one of the ceremonial shovels. The Federal Protective Service officials retrieved it.
We think Lobb may have just got caught up in the moment, rather than planning in advance to infiltrate the photo. But it sounds like Lobb’s going to need a mighty big shovel to dig himself out of this one.
A photo crasher at courthouse groundbreaking? [Austin American-Statesman]




Comments
Comments hidden for your protection. Show them anyway!
first
Billables at the firm soared when partners began to bid on the uncharted territory of manual labor.
Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside., laidoff lawyers don't want their Latham jobs back. Fuckin' A.
With all these Biglaw layoffs, we are thankful to Obama for all those shovel ready jobs!
Where's Waldo?
At least Lobb has a somewhat credible "digging stance." Compare with the dude at the far left. Clearly never touched a shovel before.
Well, there's another "stealth" layoff completed.
I'm diggin' this being deferred thing. $60k to do this instead of doc review. Hell ya!
quick! dig while everyone else is throwing, that''ll make me noticeable
This isn't so bad, huh? Makin' bucks, gettin' exercise, workin' outside.
Fuckin' A.
Fuckin' A.
Instead of bonuses, they gave us these!!!
Lawyers: Burying the American dream once and for all.
Federal Judges getting served (or shoveled) by a TTT!
That's the largest Goddang bull I've ever seen.
Make sure to go deep, boys. We need to leave room for the class of 2012.
five is the best
Yo, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish. But, Misty May Treanor had one of the best digs OF ALL TIME! One of the best digs OF ALL TIME!
The worst thing about having a 3500 sq ft wife is burying her after she croaks. Let's get to work, boys.
George W. Bush's special convoy continues their covert search for Bin Laden.
Due to the recession, Texas companies have resorted to cheaper, more primitive means in their continuous search for more oil.
It’s a dirty job – but somebody has to get their picture taken and play golf while the law clerks write the opinions.
we better get started, there are a lot of latham associates we need to put in this hole
This isn’t the actual site. But the federal bench in Texas was confused by a sign at the real site that said: “call before you dig.” Seven of the judges thought it meant: call – before you dig. The others thought it meant: call before, you dig. So they decided to take the picture where the power was above ground, just to be safe.
Photographer: that’s it get naughty, you’re a tiger. Get down and dirty with it – like you are negotiating with a female law clerk for a recommendation letter.
The Texas bench got tired of hearing law clerks complain about not having work at the end of their clerkship – so, they buried them.
A frustrated, maniacal group of Mayer Brown summer associates in disbelief that they haven't heard from the firm begin to dig in search of their elusive offer letters.
I can do this judge thing too. Hire me, hire me!
Finally - federal judges will soon have much nicer offices. See - there is progress under the Obama administration.
GOP leaders pose with gift shovels before moving on to large pile of horse manure.
GOP leaders pose with gift shovels before moving on to large pile of horse manure.
"Damn. I guess I didn't need this hard hat after all. Man, I feel like an idiot."
damn, didn't read the back story before making up my caption. now that i know the actual caption referred to the guy in the hard hat my comment seems much less funny.
- 31
Digging the grave for the future of Biglaw
With PPP down, guess which one of us moonlights for the Village People.
I haven't seen this many white guys in suits, since the Republican Congressional caucus.
Photo Circa 2005: The SEC auditors review the books of Madoff Investments.
Now that Alberto Gonzalez is back in Texas practicing law, the local judiciary sifts through his most recent brief.
"Forget about that Lobb kid, someone should tell the Mexican looking judge that we don't actually have to dig..."
Groundbreaking for another TTT law school.
Bob Dell forces the Lathamed associates to dig their own graves
Listen everybody, I hear a car coming by. Dust off your suits and look alive. Now that the recession is over we need to treat every car that passes by like an interview. Give 'em a smile and show 'em some dirt.
With illegal immigration down due to the recession, Fortune 100 GC's have implemented a "manual labor" requirement in antitrust litigation pitches.
38 38 38 38 38 !!!!
One of these things is not like the others,
One of these things just doesn't belong,
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
Hey, fellas, after we're done digging that great big hole with these here little shovels, let's figure out what that big yellow machine behind us is for.
Stripped of their bonuses, Wall Street executives have resorted to digging for gold.
Former Thelen and current Orrick partner The Glass Cock here, submitting the following as a caption: "OK fellas, all at once, let's throw the final shovel of dirt on the thing once known as a legal career."
NY to Shallow Unmarked Graves!
It was at the annual "Swimming Holes for Charity" contest where the cons of implementing the firm’s new 11:1 partner to associate ratio became increasingly clear.
I was deferred and couldn't get a pro-bono spot that didn't make me feel like I am compromising my values.
I fell back on my undergrad degree and landed an industry job - at less pay (120k), but no billable hours shit. Eventually (3-5 yrs), I can make it into the counsel's office.
I am still torn what to do. Any advice?
I guess I didn't read that law school brochure carefully when it said 50% of its grads get DigLaw.
Unrelated yet hilarious - this website keeps popping up in my google ads:
http://www.darrellmesser.com/
ROFL at 2L's who think it's a great idea to blog their every thought and class comment.
Wow, the firm really cut back on its Summer Associate outings this year.
Old white men lawyers offering some of their dung to the people to prove their shit still doesn't stink.
After promising no more layoffs, partners from all the top firms had no choice but to bury their respective associates to avoid any bad publicity.
Alright, we've randomly burried the names of the firm's associates. You keep the first three you dig up. The rest are gone.
Because sometimes digging yourself the metaphorical hole just isn't enough.
Accustomed to distinguishing cases, Mr. Lobb (right) distinguished himself by posing as a rogue federal judge at the groundbreaking....
Our firm is committed to cutting costs and providing the best service possible for our clients in these unprecedented economic times. That's why we're helping to build the new partner-only pool and spa ourselves.
Nixon's plumbers were no match for Barry's caretakers, who assist in his agenda to destroy the country.
"He he, I got a good one: What do you call 12 lawyers at the bottom of a grave?"
"Twelve attend GOP dirt-slinging training cap"
OMG, OMG, OMG!! 50 is the best one ever! Whoo, comedic genius.
After a rough morning at the inauguration ceremony, several members of the Texas legislature changed their opinion on illegal immigration.
Welcome to the Good 'Ole Boys Club... We're around from start to finish.
Welcome to the Good 'Ole Boys Club... We're around from start to finish.
15 is the best. Not so much because the root joke is different from most of the others, but because he/she understands comedic flow-- simple sentences, no passive voice, no parentheticals or asides, and leaves half of the meaning implicit. +1 for 15.
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
With their bow-encrusted, gold-plated shovels, the GOP representatives are poised to bury the ghosts of Larry Craig and Mark Foley.
If my member were as big as this shovel I would finally be able to satisfy my 3500 sq ft. wife.
38 easily wins but won't win b/c of racial implications. 35 is a retard.
"Elie Mystal is fat, ugly, and stupid."
"Well, that's the last shovel of our layoffs!"
-Loretta
P.S. I want to have babies
"More human remains unearthed at Garridos' house"
This shouldn't be a caption contest becasue the backstory is far too hilarious. If Lobb started a firm today, it would easily be a peer firm of Wachtell within a week.
A lucky photographer caught the historic moment when biglaw partners were finally forced to smell what they were shovelin'.
The partnership has moved way beyond the closet in digging up Partner Emeritus' skeletons.
72,
you're pathetic.
I'm glad to see all those judges I appointed pitch in to dig the foundation for my Presidential Library.
Dammit! I told Cheney not to send any more people out to search for the weapons of mass destruction!
"I'll bet the wise latina never had to do manual labor like this."
Lawyers celebrate the completion of Locke Lord's Austin office.
"Don't fling until you can see the whites of their eyes."
"Looks great guys. It's like the structured finance group was never even there."
Sick of the internet whining of a 1st year they had laid off, Latham partners decided to all pitch in and dig the grave while a "friend" quieted the entitled brat forever.
Congress, if you don't address the inadequacy of our judicial salaries, get used to seeing us moonlighting in jobs far outside of our expertise.
"This'll be a great spot for the Ten Commandments!"
Hey class of 2011, your law degrees are worth less than this dirt.
- 2L
Now that we've laid off all the associates, we have to shovel the shit.
Democrats were out in full force, figuratively trying to dig up additional skeletons, of which Republicans seems to be providing a limitless supply
In a node to true literalism, the senior partners decided to actually start shoveling at the manure plant
To 64 & 80:
No fair. You can't just pander to the liberal bias of the stupid AA **ck that runs this site.
64 - How dare you insinuate that judges would rule in favor of something illegal. Inaugurate this. You stupid bastard.
80 - Your doctored photo and tired jokes need to retire.
- 88
In the wake of shifts in government spending, Halliburton executives unveil the next big thing in the war on terror: "The Bin Laden Finder 5000"
After hours of debate, the executive committee finally realized that mass graves were cheaper than severance payments.
92 - legislature. Reading comprehension much?
- 64
Officer Jenkins didn't think the sting operation would work. It did.
As part of their new business model, biglaw partners put diversity to rest. Six feet under.
92 = insane
How to establish an office in China, step 1...
My fellow republicans, I want my twelve regional campaign managers show how you win an election.
Texas-sized layoff, Sopranos style.
64 -
This is an actual picture of judges. But OK - we'll do it your way: How dare you insinuate that "several members of the Texas legislature changed their opinion on illegal immigration."
- 88
P.S. 98 = AA **ck
102 - if the legislators change their minds on illegal immigration, they have the power to make it legal.
My friend, you are a typical clueless republican. Go Palin 2012!
Digging to create storage space for the 2L and 3L applications.
"How did ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC and CNN miss this story? We cover all the news."
"In a bizarre request in light of imminent dissolution, senior associates are asked to begin digging their own graves."
Management's newest innovation: super-stealth layoffs. Now those pesky associates won't whine on ATL.
Where are the Mexicans?
The judges began their community service hours after making sexual advances on their staff. Quoting one judge, "Totally worth it."
Thanks for helping me bury Mayer Brown.
"We have come to bury Biglaw, not to praise it."
--Anonymoose
"There has to be a better way to find my contact lens."
--Anonymoose
"Anonymoose is a simpleton."
They'll never find those first years we laid-off
OMM Partners execute their new business plan:
Step 1 - Digging
Step 2 - ?
Step 3 - 2:1 associate to partner leverage!
We used to bury the associates with work. These days, we use dirt.
99 FTW
Latham's management committee prepares for the next wave of first year associates layoffs.
Latham, Clifford Chance, Proskauer, and Cadwalader dig their own graves.
These are partners at Biglaw firms..
shoveling the shit! Yep, the bullshit lies! Yep, Yep, Yep.
These are partners at Biglaw firms..
shoveling the shit". Yep, the bullshit lies they throw at us! Yep, Yep, Yep.
121
"There will be no layoffs" (Bob Dell, Latham MP)
Shoveling that shit right into the pile.
"Miley Cyrus fucks a clown."
Did you know that gold shovels hold more Kool-Aid than silver spoons?
I thought they said there was going to be golden showers, not golden shovels.
113 - perhaps you've got another good one about burying associates.
--Anonymoose
"What do you guys want to do now that we've finished filling in this hole?"
--Anonymoose
123 FTW
Offers? What offers?
Due to budget cuts, Texas judges now have to carry out the death sentences themselves.
Keep fucking that chicken!
Glenn Beck's 9-12 movement begins to dig their bunker.
He suddenly didn't like his chances before Obama's death panel.
The Texas Republicans soon discovered the limitations of faith-based construction.
Anticipating the retirement of John Paul Stevens, filming begins on the first episode of "Survivor: SCOTUS".
If we did deep enough, we MAY find Obama's birth certificate.
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
I'd only ask three beers apiece for my co-workers, if that seems fair. I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. That's only my opinion.
NYC to 190...
feet under that is...
Desperate not to end up on the front page of abovethelaw.com again, Latham partners resort to digging for the lost profits of Enron to pay their associates this year.
88, I am the person who wrote 88. stop tarnishing my reputation.
- 88
I second 140
Latham has proven the bigger they are, the harder they fall.
An Obama stimulus project: A spade for a spade.
Is this billable?
47 ftw!
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
I guess Bush is using his undeserved retirement to help Obama carry out those shovel-ready stimulus act projects.
Drill baby Drill!
#5 is funny! The best so far!
When Sam said burial expenses, I guess he really meant it.
When Sam said burial expenses, I guess he meant it.
While the rest of the men smiled for the camera, Ben (center) could not take his eyes off the gentleman at the end of the line, enamored by his shiny white hat.
"We're gonna kill the partners but pay my severance first."
-Tyrone Johnson and his reggae band
Latham and its laid-off associates busily dig graves as they mutually destroy each other.
C'mon boys, let's bury the myth of work/life balance once and for all!
So this is what the interviewer meant when he told Latham offers associates hands-on experience.
So this is what the interviewer meant when he told *me Latham offers associates hands-on experience.
"if you walk through the garden you better watch your back"
Each partner gets a golden shovel. Sometimes you use it on behalf of a client. Sometimes you use it on the secretary who threatened to tell your wife...
New Biglaw Business Model: Partners Expand into Construction Work to Increase PPP.
Named partners from all the big law firms demonstrating what happens to the associates that fail to hit their yearly billable hour minimums.
164
you forgot "because the partners don't bring in enough work."
Latham moves to the mass fire point of its planned mass hire mass fire business model
Thirteen ceremonial shovels: 1300 dollars. Thirteen conservative neckties: 650 dollars. Getting embarrassed by a PI lawyer in a hardhat: priceless.
Let's see the Biglaw jobs dig their way out of that!
"TTT is as TTT does."
(Gump reference)
"The Race to the Bottom."
The most productive billable hour in history.
Federal judges show a new lawyer the key to a smooth confirmation hearing.
Little did they know, they were all actually digging their own graves.
or
The firm heard the next market for outsourcing legal work is China, so they started digging immediately.
@144: That was a hilarious line. In 1918. Give it up, you racist asshole.
I think Lobb is a pretty cool guy. Eh photobombs judges and doesn't afraid of anything
"Our money should be safe buried under here."
Morgan Lewis partners presenting the new associate compensation plan to associates.
Morgan Lewis partners presenting the new associate compensation plan to associates.
The ABA leadership is ready to dig the profession out of this hole!
here lies the summer class of '09 ... now where do we put '10?
I had no idea that so many lawyers are not funny. Like 10 of these comments made me laugh.
Oh, and the W schtick is starting to get old - stop now while you're still somewhat ahead.
George Lobb plays the role of pop-up squirrel at court ground breaking.
After seeing JerryWorld, the legal community starts work on a new courthouse that will also look like a vahjayjay from space.
Men in Suits Search for Stimulus.
Obama sent a surrogate to the recent groundbreaking ceremony so Joe Biden could tout an extra job saved or created by the stimulus funds.
The Syracuse University College of Law Alumni Association Full Employment Strategic Plan
A perfect example of the classic Texan phrase: "He's all hat, and no cattle."
186= disaster attempt.
Latham's reputation, may it rest in peace.
186
There is one employed Syrcase Law grad. He's the OMP of Latham NY, a real success sto... oh, they laid off how many associates? Uh, nevermind then, keep digging.
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
looks like king & spalding partners digging a grave to hide the body of another partner they just stole clients from ....
is this a burial for a partner that just committed suicide ... wonder what firm that was ?
The UVA 3L Moot Court committee, spades in hand, begins the hunt for those 2L drop-outs
First to find a billable hour wins!
Let's nail the coffin on these billable hours, forever.
"Here lies BigLaw, may she rest in peace. 1980-2008."
188 = Syracuse College of Law 1L in denial
Frustrated by recent layoffs, the unemployed attempt to dig their way to where the jobs exist... in China.
ASSOCIATE: There's a backhoe right there. Woudn't that be more efficient?
PARTNER: Fuck that. We get paid by the hour.
198, try Cornell 2L dipshit. But my girlfriend is a 2L at Syracuse who would own you. Your comment was simply uncreative and indicative of retardation.
-188 (upstate New York FTW)
"The partners still offer a Friday lunch to associates, but the menu is less impressive than it once was."
171 FTW
"I still contend introducing crack to the inner cities was a great idea."
Just rewatched Tommy Boy on Comedy Central, haven't seen it in a couple years, timeless comedy.
200 FTW.
200 is good. But for ATL, I love the Locke Lorde digs. 82 is pretty funny. 38 and 123 were the only one's I really almost fell out of my chair. I don't know why, but 123 was hilarious.
Yes, this is where we've burried the hopes and dreams of the 2Ls and 3Ls across the country.
Maybe we went overboard with our layoffs.
trying to dig yourself out of a k-hole is fun
38 and 171 imo
"An ass-hat lawyer and ten judges."
or
"Agent 86 quickly identified the man in a hard hat as a Kaos agent. Everyone on a construction site must wear a hard hat. This is an event for judges, and judges don't follow rules. . . You're under arrest."
15 is best
Latham gets creative in dealing with its pesky little "associates" problem.
stop doing these stupid caption contests. the responses are always terrible.
A dozen out-of-work partners discover Obama's "shovel-ready" stimulus plan is their only option as construction begins on Obama's monument to himself.
"Just a day after receiving ABA accreditation, groundbreaking got underway today for the Law School of the University of Route 128."
Rumor has it the first incoming class will get free parking permits for a year.
216, a shitty actor enrolled in a garbage law school doesn't work. Nice try you fucking peasant.
123 FTW. No doubt. Any other choice is ridiculous. I couldn't stop laughing.
Dark Horse is 125 considering the helmet. It takes some time to get.
38 wins the thread.
The managing partners of Cravath, Skadden, Latham, and other major firms pose before burying any evidence that associates who took paid deferrals were guaranteed jobs.
How many other schools can boast ninety-five percent employment ITE?
Ex-associates can't post on ATL from six feet under.
Managing partners from the nation's top firms gather to collectively bury law students' dreams.
In the latest reality tv series, 2012 presidential hopefuls participate in a challenge "Rebuilding America from the Ground Up."
If we just shoot our associates and bury them in this here hole instead of firing them, maybe ATL won't find out about it.
Make work for the Morgan Lewis summer class of 2010
"We come not to bury big law but to praise it."
"We come not to bury big law but to praise it."
The details in these billables won't bury themselves.
200 is the funniest
The Captain's Caption would be
"American lawyers dig their way to Canada to 'find some jobs'"
Thoughts?
-Bay Street is Awesome.
White men whip out their tools and engage in noon-time circle jerk.
"All hat, and state chattle."
Digging a grave for suicidal laid off latham first year, who after seven months of unemployment is finally ready to end it. At one of the Latham offices. During callbacks.
Why am I still at the office?
With the September, 2009 ABA memo approving of outsourced legal services to child labor sweatshops in foreign countries, managing partners from the Vault10 gathered in Mumbai to break ground on a new dormitory for their latest "partner" firm.
217, is that the Woburn or the Dedham campus?
NIGGER LOVERS
239: both...
I'll dig when I get my fucking hat.
Surgeon General Warning: old men pretending to do work is a leading cause of heart attacks and frivilous law suits.
Bald/Shaved head guy: is that the caterer?
At BigLaw, we dig our own graves!
After raping and murdering the careers of at least 70 first year associates, Latham attempts to hide the bloodied , mangled corpses.
Biglaw needs somewhere to put all those rejected resumes.
Viagra, it gets the job done
It's like a legal lolcat. I can has groundbreaking? there's this other blog: http://lawblog.legalmatch.com/ , that uses a lot of lolcats. A lot of blogs these days are doing captioning contest...
Latham buries the career prospects of first year associates who could have gone to better firms had Latham not grossly overhired.
72! 72! 72!!!!!!
Latham couldn't destroy its first year associates without also destroying itself.
Think about it.
236, on the off chance that you've moved beyond shtick and are seriously considering what you describe, get some help.
Hi 253,
My career is fucked because I accepted an offer from Latham. I have been applying for seven months, and nada. Most of the Lathamed first years have found nothing. A few have found jobs with awful small firms, and a few well connected people have found good jobs. Sadly, I am not well connected
So what now? I continue to apply for years, only to find that my career will never be the same. I had pulled myself up by the bootstraps beating the odds, only to have it all undone by Latham four months after I started.
Now what??? Do you have a solution to this? I don't see what any shrink is going to tell me that'll help. He'll probably say I should stop caring about my career. Wow, big help.
George Lobb shoud go full Gump and appear at as many ground breaking events as possible. These folks don't know each other, there are no gate keepers. History is his for the making.
ATL Editors:
*Get pwnd by author of choice E on Biden caption contest.*
*Post new contest right away to relieve the pain of pwning.*
Seeing the looming changes in the legal market, Biglaw partners prepare in advance by digging a grave for the billable hour.
You know how everyone always says getting laid off as a first year destroys your career? Well, it's true.
Biglaw partners bury the careers of the Classes of 2011.
In an attempt to avoid the Obama administration's policies, Republicans ceremoniously begin digging to China.
Biglaw partners bury the careers of the Classes of 2011.
254 - please post photo.
Biglaw's new Political Action Committee, "Spades for Obama."
38 takes this hands down. 38 is a god amongst mere mortals.
262
Of Dave Gordon, managing partner of Latham NY casually stepping over my bloodied corpse on the floor of the lipstick building? Check the NY times in a couple weeks.
"Do any of you know how to use a shovel? I suppose the judiciary could use the advice of wise latina after all...."
Federal judges wait excitedly as the next load of natural fertilizer is delivered so they may begin shoveling out their newest fifty page opinions.
Frustrated that the pace of outsourcing associate jobs was too slow, the senior partners began digging a tunnel to India.
Digging for TARP money
Monday, dick in a box.
Tuesday, dick in a box.
Shovels, dick in a box.
266 ftw!
"What do you call these things? A shovel, you say? And what is it used for? Digging!?"
Maybe if we all smile and wear our Red, White and Blue ribbons - our Big Law associates will believe that we will be able to dig ourselves out of this mess......
Lawyers used to shoveling a load of bullshit find that shoveling actual dirt is far more satisfying.
This practice will come in handy when we're in our orange jumpsuits.
"Geez - we're going to nee a lot more shovels than this to bury the cost of Obamacare"
Thank god the stimulus package created shovel ready jobs!
BigLaw partners gather to bury, among other things, the billable hour.
266 wins hands down.
"I'm just disappointed that we couldn't have held out long enough to bury the class of 2012 here too".
"We're only slightly disappointed that there wasn't enough room to bury the class of 2012 here too".
As unemployment hits the ranks of the grave diggers, ancient federal judges are forced to dig their own graves.
"Man, these severance packages are getting shittier and shittier, aren't they?"
The senior associates in the real estate group desperately try to keep their jobs
We know the taxpayers hid their money somewhere around here. Federal judges to $500K!
Dewey Cheatham & Howe shows off its new "green" offices: no carpet, no paint, no chemicals: two desks, a backhoe for the briefbags, and shovels to sit on.
"Realizing his brand new hardhat might not be so helpful against eleven mechanically inept bureaucrats wielding razor sharp golden shovels slightly below waist level, George struck a more defensive pose."
Caption:
Managing partners attending the recent “AmerLaw50 Firm Chair Workshop“ have a “group dig” to see how low associate compensation can go. The afternoon’s activities included breaking open a donkey piñata with whips.
"Well, the world needs ditch-diggers too..."
-Judge Smails
Dubya: "I bet you guys never thought I appointed you to do this!"
"Oh don't you know,
That's the sound of the men,
workin' on the chain,
gay-ee-ang!
Oh don't you know . . ."
George the bankruptcy judge,
had a very bright white hat.
And if you ever saw it,
you know exactly where it's at.
All of the other judges,
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor George,
play in any Article III games.
BigLaw Partners Put Final Touches on Solution for Deferred Associates.
13 Distinguished Texan Jurists Wake up with Dead Boy in Bed, Then Pose for Photographers.
Partner 1: If we build it, they will come
Partner 2: Who are "they" exactly?
Partner 1: The thousands of desperate 3ls who will work for next to nothing just to have a job, of course
Enrollment in Harvard Law School's course on Alternative Careers has tripled since 2008.
With all due respect Judge Austin, I had no idea that you had an experimental surgery to have your brain removed. It is technically not a majority unless all seven people are shovelling at the same time. Look it up. What? I said, "with all due respect."
O'Melveny and Meyers: Building its firm on the corpses of dead associates.
Groundbreaking ceremony at the George W. Bush Presidential Library. When completed in 2010, it will house the world's largest collection of coloring books.
300!
"Hey, fellas! I guess we're all strict CONSTRUCTIONists now! Huh?"
@ 297 - like the Talladega Nights reference.
How many white guys in suits does it take to bury the billable hour?
Dick Cheyney's shooting gallery.
Relax, guys. You already bought your one-way ticket. Digging won't get you there any sooner.
"We think Lobb may have just got caught up in the moment, rather than planning in advance to infiltrate the photo."
Yeah, he just happened to have his own shovel. Ha!
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Alas, they all left unprepared to deal with the "elephant in the room."
With PPP spiraling downward and fresh lobster flown in from Maine out of reach, many big firm partners decide to hunt lobster in the soils of Texas.
"You dig yours first, Mr. President, because . . . uh . . . you know . . . separation of powers and all that stuff. Yeah, that's the ticket."
Shoveler #1: "And if A&B doesn't ever give us a start date?"
Shoveler #2: "Then we dig our way to China and start a new life."
T14, top 10%, law review, published, dug a hole with a few judges. What shot do I have at getting a clerkship with a feeder judge?
"I swear, there has GOT to be a pony in here somewhere."
No more SAs to no offer.
Well now, whose body are we digging up this time?