Those Who Can’t Mass Email, Blog
Law firm mass emails can be a bitter pill to swallow. Nobody wants to be publicly accused of, say, taking craps on the bathroom floor. In that instance, a simple multiple-choice survey on bathroom habits followed by a marksmanship competition would have sufficed. One legal administrator recently learned the hard way that sending inflammatory mass emails is rarely the route to popularity or success. Or is it?
Jordan Reid (née Berkow) is your typical NYC born and bred jerkhat. She went to Dalton private school and then moved on to Harvard, where she got her undergrad degree in cognitive neuroscience. (Ed. note: that’s in the psychology department, nice try.)
Perhaps prompted by her voice coach and by a successful run in a summer camp production of “The Pajama Game,” Jordan went to L.A. to seek fame and fortune. After a few small roles and the requisite appearance on Law & Order, she abandoned ship and returned to NYC, where her she lived in an apartment partially paid for by her parents. As a matter of course, her mom, who worked in a law firm, hooked her up with a job as a legal administrator there. It’s not clear exactly where she worked, but Jordan describes the firm as “a fairly depressing” place, where she sobbed at her desk. If this sounds like your office, join the club email us at tips.
A flip-flop and an email, after the jump.
Last month, a wave of hot weather triggered an illegal flip-flop epidemic among staffers at Jordan’s firm:
And I noticed that most of the staff - like, three-quarters - was wearing flip-flops. And while I myself do not care a whit about appropriate footwear, and would certainly love to wear flip-flops every day of my life if I could, this is not okay in a law firm, where there are clients and uptight attorneys who like to yell at sweet, blonde legal administrators roaming the halls. I got a couple of complaints from higher-ups about the staff’s excessively casual attire, and so I decided to shoot off a quick email reminding everyone not to wear flip-flops to work. So I sent out the email (“just a reminder that flip-flops are not proper office attire, but sandals are still ok, see me if you don’t know the difference” - something like that)…
Predictably, Jordan’s efforts to neutralize the emergency via patronizing mass email did not sit well with staffers:
[I]t was like I set off a bomb in the office. Within minutes, I had upwards of thirty furious emails from staff members informing me about my Napoleon complex and general incompetence. One of them even basically called me a tramp for wearing short skirts (admittedly, they are pretty short).
Let she without mini skirts cast the first stone.
Broken by the abuse and her own lack of self-awareness, Jordan left the law firm for a career where she’s shielded from the cruel judgments and bitter insults of lawyers and others: blogging. Jordan now “lifecasts” (i.e., blogs with “effortlessly” sexy pictures taken of herself) for NonSociety, a trio of “personality” driven blogs that offers distasteful glimpses into the lives of three abject narcissists. Jordan’s lifecast focuses on “Domestic Bliss Done Differently,” which gives readers advice on decorating your apartment like Jordan’s, dressing like Jordan, and gradually morphing into Jordan.
Lesson learned: if people aren’t receptive to your mass emails, try broadening your audience.
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Comments
Last?
Most. Boring. Post. Ever.
it's tough to know where to start with this one.
This is so below the law.
Does anyone notice she looks like Briana Banks, the pornstar, in the picture?
This is stupid. I thought something interesting was going to come after the jump.
5 is on the money...
This sucks
I don't know, 5. It's hard to tell from her face.
I'd do her.
Someone here HAS to know what firm she worked for....
checked out her blog, and only had to read the first part of the first sentence to know that I will be back:
"I wish I was the kind of person who had beautiful jugs..."
I'd do her.
Yo Elie, I'm happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, but David Lat has the greatest posts of all time! Of all time!
14 - Uh, this post is by MARIN.
This is retarded. A dumb girl whose mommy gave her a bullshit job breaks the dress code, tells others not to break the dress code, and the others yell at her.
Shocking. . . a hyprocrit was called out!!! NEWSWORTHY!!!!
Wait, what was the email? Can we see that?
I deal with jerkhats all the time. I don't want to hear about them unless they get their comeuppance in a big way, otherwise it's too much like my depressing life. Since this chick still seems to have self-esteem left, I don't think this is the right story to tell the ATL crowd. End the story with her getting hit by a bus or otherwise horribly disfigured. Then the majority of us will like it.
I'd love to jizz all over that face!
What the hell were you thinking about here? Why would you take my precious (and rare) billable hours writing this crap?
Yo 15, I'm happy for you, I'm gonna let you finish, but 14's post was the greatest post of all time! Of all time!
I'd love to jizz all over that face!
Maybe it's a generational thing, but the tatoo makes her look like white trash.
I am a third year associate and what is this?!?
Maybe it's a generational thing, but the tatoo makes her look like white trash.
12 = funniest comment of all time. OF ALL TIME!
23,
I agree, and it screams low self esteem.
So she went to LA to appear on Law & Order? Isn't that filmed in NYC?
I like them more zaftig but would tag it.
Congratulations ATL staff:
You found the only blogger on the interwebs that writes more drivel than you.
I know a guy who used to work in the mailroom of a V10 law firm. Then he quit to work at UPS, loading boxes onto trucks.
Can we get a post about that?
He doesn't have a blog, but he does wear size 12 shoes.
Let me know if you need more info.
The last two sentences of the last full paragraphs were actually pretty funny (and were better-written by far than anything Elie's ever done). But agreed the subject matter is not news.
thank god ATL was there to summarize that gawker article for me so i didn't have to read it myself.
ORIGINAL CONTENT. YES.
33 - OC, in my ATL?
Zing! I guess she showed them. www.Goodsharks.com
From this post I can conclude one of the following:
(1) Marin is friends with this blogger.
(2) Marin is a dude who wants to bang this chick.
(3) ATL knows it generates lots of traffic with posts about attractive but vapid females
Law firm administrators have an inflated sense of importance. Why can't they learn their place in the world (i.e., at least in terms of usefulness, beneath paralegals and secretaries). Granted, they are usually the most attractive law firm employees, but they mustn't forget that they're no more than mindless drones with useless B.A.s
4th video is out showing employees of federally funded organization attempting to aid child prostitution, trafficking and tax evasion= Legal stuff.
Threats by organization of lawsuit=Legal stuff.
Possibility of FBI investigation into organization=Legal stuff.
Lots of interesting issues about criminal culpability of both employees as well as videographers=Legal stuff.
Senate votes to cut federal funding last night after hearing at Senate Banking Committee (voting fairly nonpartisan)=Legal stuff.
And what is Above the Law reporting? A blog about a psych major who takes pictures of her food and used to work at a law firm where she sent out an email talking about flip flops.
I dunno 38, I thought those videos showed conservative individuals soliciting help with their prostitution ring.
Adding to 38:
Andrew Cuomo initiated an investigation into grants awarded by NY legislators to ACORN.
City Council Speaker Christine Quinn froze all city funding designed for ACORN.
But still no reporting by ATL. Apparently b/c Fox is reporting it and MSM isn't.
Hi Guys! It's Jordan! :) I thought that b/c I was so hot all of the comments would be about how lawyers wanted to have sex with me! Tee Hee! Instead you lawyers seem all bored w/ me... :(
I don't get it. Why do people think that their mundane, eventless, unaccomplished lives are interesting to other people?
I think looking at a picture of that girl's dinner and another of the knobs she bought at Urban Outfitters is possibly the only activity more boring than the work from which I was taking a break. She's not even hot.
She needs to get a life, and, since I spent five minutes looking at her blog and writing this comment, apparently I need to get a life too.
Sandals are not okay either. Simple solution.
39-What the videos mean from a legal standpoint is interesting but is being ignored for the reason you stated: the videographers are "conservative individuals."
I read this (yes, and her blog) in horror. Now I want to puke when I think about the minutes of my life I'll never get back.
I could go on, but I can't spend another second on this drivel.
Most. Worthless. Everything. Ever.
Slow "news" day??
Hmm... Marin's tone seem's a bit harsh. What's her deal? Chip on the shoulder? Inferiority complex?
Anyway, neither sandals nor flip flops are acceptable in a law office. If these women have a problem with that, they should quit their law firm jobs and look for work where its appropriate to dress like a slob.
to 47:
that is exactly what "these women" did.
this chick needs to eat something.
(and no I'm not some fat,jealous lady. But look at her twiggy arms with her "I heart mom" prison tatoo. She just doesn't look healthy to me.)
49 -- Her arms aren't "twiggy." They are toned. She looks nice. I'm betting from the tone of your comment that you're about a size 14 or 16, which I hate to break it to you, qualifies as "fat."
CAN WE PLEASE STOP THINKING ABOUT WARM-WEATHER FOOTWEAR AND TURN OUR FULL ATTENTION TO THE PLIGHT OF THE SUMMERS TO WHOM MAYER BROWN HAS SO CALLOUSLY FAILED TO GIVE OFFERS? THIS IS TRULY CAUSING SUFFERING OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE, AND NONE OF US SHOULD REST UNTIL THIS INJUSTICE HAS BEEN REMEDIED.
36 - hits nail on head.
50,
I'm 49 and not a woman. They don't look toned at all. They look like sticks and tendons. To me she looks bad.
Knocking Dalton to Harvard? Then, "Let she without the miniskirts"? More than a little irony out of this author. I know I should know the answer to this, but is Marin's undergrad alma mater accredited to give BS degrees, or do their "engineers" get BA's in "super duper technology sciences" like a lot of those other spoiled hippie-mills?
OMG you cretins, she looks NOTHING like Briana Banks.
OMG, wake me when this blog is good again.
After a 12 pack, she'd look enough like Briana Banks for me.
I love short shorts.
21, back up off my phrase yo
You've delighted an entire community of readers over at Reblogging Nonsociety. Bless you for this post!
east coasters please leave cali alone
You've enlightened the readers with this article miss...thanks!
this article about a non-lawyer is about as relevant as anything written by Kash. Please stop.
Agree with 43/47. Flip flops and sandals are inappropriate everywhere except on the beach or a public shower. I don't want to see your discusting feet all day. Reminds me of Jon Gosselin - 'nuff said.
Fail.