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Stepford Secretary Strikes Again

Stepford Secretary Bingham McCutchen.JPGI’m sure you all remember the Stepford Secretary. She is the secretary that praised lawyers at her firm for their CHARACTER. She was fired, and then she lawyered up.

But the President’s speech on health care last night inspired her. Well, at least it inspired her to email Above the Law:

In his speech tonight the President made reference to the “character of our Country.” I chuckled and said “Watch it, Mr. President, using the word character got me fired.”

Tonight after sitting and watching the President’s address I thought it would be time to give you an update.

I went to [my firm] asking graciously for six months severance (approximately two weeks salary for each of my ten years there). The firm’s decision to terminate me for an attempt (albeit, poor judgment) at giving certain props to colleagues was not persecution enough. They denied my request (shocking) and offered a twisted view of both me and the reasons for my termination. Sadly, there is no hope of taking these well educated, uncouth individuals to Court. I just do not have the bank roll or emotional tolerance for the extended crap they will surely put me through. I know that my original statement came from a place of despair. For now, there is just a file containing numerous accounts of misconduct on the part of the company, and the facade continues.

Stepford

You lie!

Seriously though, emotional bankroll is something that a lot of people are losing during the recession.

Earlier: Stepford Secretary Responds to Above the Law
Stepford Secretary Lawyers Up
Bingham McCutchen’s ‘Stepford Secretary’ Has Left The Building

Comments

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1 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 11:58 AM

Foystasaurus Rex!

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2 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 11:59 AM

Tavern on the Green just filed for bankruptcy. I guess PE will have to find a new place to romance young male associates.

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3 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:01 PM

Comment removed by moderator.

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4 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:02 PM

2= Comment of the day

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5 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:02 PM

How much asslobster does a human have to consume in order to achieve the size of Mystal?

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6 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:03 PM

Instead of this nonsense, how about a post on clerkship hiring and contact of applicants by chambers that supposedly follow the hiring plan before the date on which judges can schedule interviews in accordance with the plan?

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7 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:07 PM

Suggestion: Create two ATL sites. One for big time wrestlers, like those in the WWE, and another - Junior site - for small town wrestlers in the bush leagues. The new site could be called Monday Night Raw and the other Below the Raw.

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8 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:08 PM

"I went to [my firm] asking graciously for six months severance (approximately two weeks salary for each of my ten years there)."

there are 26 weeks in a 6-month period. If she's asking for 2 weeks pay for every 10 years she worked there, does that mean she worked there for 130 years? Can she tell me what the Industrial Revolution was like?

9 Posted by JaKe Emeritus | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:09 PM

This is the second example in two days of why it is poor business to hire women, the uneducated, the undereducated, and those who fail to work hard and amass obscene wealth.

This news has reinforced two of my do-nots: do not date any woman with a personal net worth below 2 million (or a total family net worth below 8 million) and do not date any woman who received an education from a non-peer institution. I do not want my children's DNA tainted by an imbecile or a pauper.

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10 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:11 PM

At least Obama's speech inspired somebody out there...

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11 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:12 PM

"I went to [my firm] asking graciously for six months severance (approximately two weeks salary for each of my ten years there)."

there are 26 weeks in a 6-month period. If she's asking for 2 weeks pay for every 10 years she worked there, does that mean she worked there for 130 years? Can she tell me what the Industrial Revolution was like?

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12 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:13 PM

you can always "graciously" ask for something that is completely undeserved - yes, the "gracious" part makes the other party look sooo bad when it turns you down.

i graciously ask you to go away and never contact ATL again. if you don't graciously accept my request, you will look as bad as the firm that fired you.

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13 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:13 PM

This is totally racist, but I read that e-mail in a stern black woman's voice

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14 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:16 PM

8/11: EPIC FAIL. Your math is even worse than the Stepford Secretary's.

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15 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:16 PM

8 & 11 -- how those ESL classes going? The phrase "two weeks for each of my ten years" means, as everyone but you realizes, two weeks per year over ten years. So no, she's not saying she worked there 130 years. She's saying she worked there for 10 years, and wants 2 weeks per year.

Granted, she's still an idiot.

16 Posted by Edward Latham | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:20 PM

In my day, the only "severance" was when an employee had his hands cut off right before he was fired. This was done to prevent theft of company documents and telegraph records. Severance was a legitimate practice under the old common law. I still shudder when I think of the day that this was modified by statute, plainly offending employers’ rights under the U.S. Constitution’s Contracts Clause.

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17 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:22 PM

#13, it was racist and ignorant. Maybe Bingham had a performance issue with Stepford, maybe not. The bigger picture is that Biglaw has used the economy as a license to circumvent basic employee rights and all of its own written policies and procedures to deal with a wide range of employment issues with the caveat of "sue me if you dare." For Biglaw, it is payback time for all of the "indignities" it has had to "endure" the past few years -- from lockstep salaries to jobs for first years to the inherent difficulty in firing people who probably aren't qualified. For those of you commenting who stick your noses down thinking this only happens to non-lawyers, I think you're finding that the sentiment applies to lawyers at all tiers, perhaps even you. Having been through my own trauma with Biglaw, I have no intention of ever going back. Who needs it?

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18 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:25 PM

This is totially racist, but I read 17's comment in a whiny woman's voice

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19 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:28 PM

We need to bomb those secretaries back to the stoneage.

-DOJ Secure

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20 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:28 PM

Elie, what the hell is the point of redacting the firm name in her current email if you name it in the linked post?

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21 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:29 PM

This is totally racist, but I laughed out loud at 13 and 18

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22 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:31 PM

I agree with 18--once 17's point became apparent, I was suddenly hearing Fran Drescher's voice the rest of the way.

23 Posted by SeanConnery | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:32 PM

13 -- That's funny, I did your mother with a large white man's penis last night. Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

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24 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:34 PM

This is totally racist, but I read comment 23 in a scottish accent

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25 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:35 PM

At least she has a sense of humor about it all

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26 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:43 PM

I'll take the pen is mightier....Alex

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27 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:45 PM

who's the man now, dog?

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28 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:48 PM

The Judge Chin stuff made me REALLY miss the Underneath Their Robes style ATL. Bring that back!!!!

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29 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:49 PM

Could we stop giving the Stepford Secretary air time? She is sooo last season.

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30 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:49 PM

Could we stop giving the Stepford Secretary air time? She is sooo last season.

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31 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 12:57 PM

I would take her case. Sure, its a gamble but nothing ventured...........

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32 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:19 PM

The comments here disgust me, as usual.

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33 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:21 PM

This is totally racist, but I read 32's comment in PE's voice

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34 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:45 PM

32 = Stepford

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35 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:47 PM

This is race neutral, but I think it is crap that employers have to lie about reasons for termination. If I want a hot secretary and she later blimps out, I should be able to fire her and get a newer one (see generally the same argument for houses, cars, and wives). Ladies, dont get fat, augment your boobs, and stay employed. it is not hard math.

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36 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:49 PM

6, chill out about the fucking hiring plan. It ONLY affects current 3Ls, and you guys are a pretty small portion of the population that's interested in clerkships.

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37 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 1:59 PM

It's amazing that she still doesn't get that she was fired for her poor judgment, not the content of her e-mail.

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38 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:01 PM

actually, 18, it's sexist, but I don't think it's particularly racist.

Either way, irrelevant and adds nothing to the discussion. But thanks for playing!

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39 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:03 PM

34 = socialist

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40 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:03 PM

35 = socialist

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41 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:21 PM

Fuck you, 35. I seriously doubt your secretary, whether hot or not, would let you get near her. Why don't you just buy a couple of balloons, fill them with water, and fondle them? That's the closest you'll ever get to anyone's boobs. Stupid freaking moron.

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42 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 2:55 PM

I know this is Calvinist, but I read 41's comment in the voice of a non-believer

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43 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:22 PM

Poor lady. Lawyers are so freaking vain.

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44 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:25 PM

42 = socialist

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45 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:29 PM

13 = 18 (=21) = 24 = 33 = 42 = has been drinking Café Lattes since the fifth grade and hasn't looked back

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46 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:34 PM

This is totally racist, but 45 has way too much time on his hands

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47 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:51 PM

actually 38, you've been trolled, and are too stupid to tell.

Either way, irrelevant and adds nothing to the discussion. But thanks for playing!

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48 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 4:14 PM

2 - Tavern on the Green has already told PE to take his latin catamites "elsewhere."

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49 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 4:47 PM

37 so why did Bingham site violation of policy and insubordination? poor judgment is not violation of a policy. better they should have just said nothing.

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50 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 4:48 PM

37 so why did Bingham site violation of policy and insubordination? poor judgment is not violation of a policy. better they should have just said nothing.

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51 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 7:39 PM

49/50 because corporate firms don't want controversy and firing you for speaking out in your crazed way is similar to firing a whisleblower

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52 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 7:51 PM

35 - secretary,female, fat, 1 each.

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53 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 7:51 PM

35 - secretary,female, fat, 1 each.

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54 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 10, 2009 9:17 PM

Sue them.

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55 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 11, 2009 4:53 AM

Love to. Show me the association or firm that will take it on pro bono for the middle class. Not even Bingham does that. Not even for their own. You're either dirt poor or rich in this Country. Middle class just isn't poor enough to gain stats or get any needed assistance.

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56 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 11, 2009 8:26 AM

I believe this secretary (Stepford) is actually correct with her analysis of what is taking place at Bingham as well as most big firms. I do believe though that many firms, just like Bingham would have terminated her employment for insubordination. Poor judgment is what it was but she was, like most of us are, an at will employee and they had the right to fire her with or without cause and they exercised their right.

These firms don't want bad publicity, especially now, in this economy. I honestly do believe that BigLaw has never been sympathetic or caring and, during this down economy, they have "lost their sensitivity chip" completely. Not that they were ever really caring, maybe more tolerant, but not anymore. Give them a good reason to even think about showing you the door to save them money and they will. It has just gotten worse and worse and they really don't care.

Stepford, forget this and just try to get on with things. You know, you are probably 95% correct on things you said and believe, however, it is done and you can't go back and rewind what was done. I sort of give you an A for speaking out what most of feel, I am sorry you lost your job. Good luck to you and your family.

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57 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 11, 2009 9:56 AM

23: Did you "buy" it with your lexis/nexis points?

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58 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 11, 2009 7:24 PM

49 (&50), you're a lawyer or law student and you think it's site?

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59 Posted by guest | Permalink Saturday, September 12, 2009 2:30 PM

Any firm would have fired her.

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60 Posted by guest | Permalink Monday, September 14, 2009 10:13 AM

I think that if she's got information about misconduct and can't afford to sue them she should share it publicly. She's been humiliated and is without her job so why not dish on them?

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61 Posted by guest | Permalink Monday, September 14, 2009 10:14 AM

I think that if she's got information about misconduct and can't afford to sue them she should share it publicly. She's been humiliated and is without her job so why not dish on them?

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62 Posted by guest | Permalink Monday, September 14, 2009 5:11 PM

Hard times and her focus and energy are surely served better elsewhere.

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