Law firm mass emails can be a bitter pill to swallow. Nobody wants to be publicly accused of, say, taking craps on the bathroom floor. In that instance, a simple multiple-choice survey on bathroom habits followed by a marksmanship competition would have sufficed. One legal administrator recently learned the hard way that sending inflammatory mass emails is rarely the route to popularity or success. Or is it?
Jordan Reid (née Berkow) is your typical NYC born and bred jerkhat. She went to Dalton private school and then moved on to Harvard, where she got her undergrad degree in cognitive neuroscience. (Ed. note: that’s in the psychology department, nice try.)
Perhaps prompted by her voice coach and by a successful run in a summer camp production of “The Pajama Game,” Jordan went to L.A. to seek fame and fortune. After a few small roles and the requisite appearance on Law & Order, she abandoned ship and returned to NYC, where her she lived in an apartment partially paid for by her parents. As a matter of course, her mom, who worked in a law firm, hooked her up with a job as a legal administrator there. It’s not clear exactly where she worked, but Jordan describes the firm as “a fairly depressing” place, where she sobbed at her desk. If this sounds like your office, join the club email us at tips.
A flip-flop and an email, after the jump.

Last month, a wave of hot weather triggered an illegal flip-flop epidemic among staffers at Jordan’s firm:

And I noticed that most of the staff – like, three-quarters – was wearing flip-flops. And while I myself do not care a whit about appropriate footwear, and would certainly love to wear flip-flops every day of my life if I could, this is not okay in a law firm, where there are clients and uptight attorneys who like to yell at sweet, blonde legal administrators roaming the halls. I got a couple of complaints from higher-ups about the staff’s excessively casual attire, and so I decided to shoot off a quick email reminding everyone not to wear flip-flops to work. So I sent out the email (“just a reminder that flip-flops are not proper office attire, but sandals are still ok, see me if you don’t know the difference” – something like that)…

Predictably, Jordan’s efforts to neutralize the emergency via patronizing mass email did not sit well with staffers:

[I]t was like I set off a bomb in the office. Within minutes, I had upwards of thirty furious emails from staff members informing me about my Napoleon complex and general incompetence. One of them even basically called me a tramp for wearing short skirts (admittedly, they are pretty short).

Let she without mini skirts cast the first stone.
Broken by the abuse and her own lack of self-awareness, Jordan left the law firm for a career where she’s shielded from the cruel judgments and bitter insults of lawyers and others: blogging. Jordan now “lifecasts” (i.e., blogs with “effortlessly” sexy pictures taken of herself) for NonSociety, a trio of “personality” driven blogs that offers distasteful glimpses into the lives of three abject narcissists. Jordan’s lifecast focuses on “Domestic Bliss Done Differently,” which gives readers advice on decorating your apartment like Jordan’s, dressing like Jordan, and gradually morphing into Jordan.
Lesson learned: if people aren’t receptive to your mass emails, try broadening your audience.
Meet the Harvard Grad Seduced by Microcelebrity [Gawker]