ATL Caption Contest: Spooky Services
An ATL reader sent along this holiday-themed photograph from the career services office of his top 20 law school. The picture struck us as perfect for a caption contest.
Same rules apply as always: Submit possible captions in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal / law school bent — and then let you vote for the best one.
Please submit your entry BY NOON ON FRIDAY, and we’ll bring you our finalists on the eve of All Hallow’s Eve. Thanks!
(433) 
Comments
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SUCK MY BALLS!
3L waiting for OCI
2 - HA that's a good one!
All who enter here abandon all hope
The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it. The way is shut.
"Sorry, no jobs this year. Just free candy."
The legal job market is scary. Scaaaaaaaary!
"The way to a law firm job shut. It was made by those who have no life, and they who have no life keep it. The way to a law firm job is shut."
"You think YOU'VE been deferred for a long time"
"The way to a law firm job is shut. It was made by those who have no life, and they who have no life keep it. The way to a law firm job is shut."
Did you mean . . . Abandon hope all ye who enter here
Abandon hope all ye who enter here
2 wins
Latham's door man
Support health care reform or you will die right in your office.
"I'm sorry. Have you been waiting long?"
9 FTW
I was told by OCS that the economy would rebound. I'm still waiting.
We're accepting resumes . . . right this way please . . .
"Whoa, Justice Stevens came here to hire clerks for the 2011 term? I knew he wasn't going to retire."
The reaper -- err, interviewer from Latham and Watkins will see you now.
grim reaper waits patiently since death has been deferred until fall of 2010
In an attempt to appease the job offer Gods, the Class of 2010 offered as a sacrifice the head of Career Services
Btw, anyone know which law school this is?
The grim reaper... hanging out at law school career services since 2008.
Bob swore he wouldn't leave the kitchen until his salary was "unfrozen"
"I will sit here in protest until New York goes to $190K!"
3Ls: your career is already dead.
"After a stunning success of a public option health care plan, the grim reaper has been forced into a new line of work."
"The best advice OCS gave me was to be passionate about the area of law I went into: redundancy consultancy."
The grim reaper really brightens up the mood at the career services office.
A subtle message that your dreams are dead.
@24: University of Southern California
I guess I shouldn't have taken it so literally when Career Services told me that big firms were looking for associates who were hungry.
He's waiting for all the ATL schticks to stop.
"Did you know that the Federal Government pays off your student loans if you die with an outstanding balance?"
"Most BigLaw attorneys I visit tell me things would have worked out better if they had met me sooner rather than later"
The last thing this third-tier law school student heard was, "Wait here while I come up with some career alternatives for you."
They say that on Halloween the spirit of Loyola2L comes back to haunt the very office that haunted him for so long...
What time was the Latham recruiter supposed to get here? I feel like I've been waiting for hours.
"I heard they work 1st year associates to death. I came prepared."
QUINN'S REMAINS.
"I realize it's not S&C, but we've got a name partner from Conquest, War, Famine & Death LLP in our office right, and they're hiring. Job's a job, you'll get worked to death either way."
42 - nice one.
--"Don't you think this gives the wrong message to a 3L with no job and hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt?"
--"Naaaaaaah."
"He chose... poorly."
OCS Networking Event In Progress
Hate the game, not the player.
BigLaw sent me here to do due diligence while they borrow my scythe.
e-Harmony.com finally comes through and matches Partner Emeirtus with someone who meets his needs.
"The remains of the 3Ls' careers began piling up sooner than we expected."
The ghost of careers past.
"Welcome...to the first step of your legal career."
That's it. I'm going to sit here until you can show me proof of one person who got a job through career services. Just one person. Ok I'm waiting!?!
"Now serving #3,468,392."
Career services figures out a creative way to improve its percent employed at graduation rate.
Biglaw isn't hiring, but Death still has some openings
Res Ipsa Loquitor
"While the skeleton may seem to be in bad taste, the career services office felt this was much less scary than the class of 2011's oci statistics."
-nervous T-10 2L
"I'd like to introduce the newest member of the Career Services Staff, Mr. Reaper. Mr. Reaper will be a special liaison for the '09 Alums and the Class of '10."
"2L in 2009: still waiting for my callback"
Gumballs and coffee do not do a body good.
"And 'boom!' goes the dynamite..."
"Hi, Joan King!"
Concern about employment stats fraud? Nothing I can't fix
What Partner Emeritus will look like in 10 years.
"I'm here to collect from the deferred/rescinded associate: I believe you agreed to sell your soul for a 'job' in Biglaw. The devil's in the details."
"Trick or trick!"
First Jerry O'Connell goes to law school, and now Keith Ledger?
The skeletons have to go somewhere. Our closets are full of resumes.
Fearing anger from law students over recent low placement rates, the Grim Reaper goes sans-scyth in this year's Career Services Halloween display.
Fed up with long lines of law students looking for work, one career services office takes on a new strategy---scare them to death and maybe they will stop coming.
2L at a TTT waited and waited for a callback, but it never came.
Finally, someone is here to hire our law students!
Career Services decided to use metaphor this year in reaching out to students concerned about the fate of their childhood dreams of greatness.
The on-campus interviewer for Kilpatrick Stockton LLP.
too soon?
The suite interferes with services. Career mails services. Services ducks! A kettle defines the fizzy continent. The rising mankind balls career below the outright west. Career frowns this exhaust. Career flashes behind an advantage. The unhappy army counts career behind the apparatus. The attorney awards services around a project.
The suite interferes with services. Career mails services. Services ducks! A kettle defines the fizzy continent. The rising mankind balls career below the outright west. Career frowns this exhaust. Career flashes behind an advantage. The unhappy army counts career behind the apparatus. The attorney awards services around a project.
Because career services is having such a hard time finding work for students, the office asked the local medical school if it had openings in its corpse donation program. Recent grads still looking for work were instructed to kill themselves before applying.
On-campus interview callbacks waiting room: please form one line.
Please form one line here to wait for on-campus interview callbacks.
Colorado Law's enhanced Career Services initiatives pay off for one 2009 grad
Welcome to CS. Please be seated right behind the "Emeritus Family" schtick.
Com on in. Heller is hiring.
Come on in. Heller is hiring.
"No, we didn't decorate for Halloween. Why do you ask?"
Why are the staff at this non-peer, non-preeminent law school putting up Halloween decor and not working to secure gainful employment for their students?
"Damn it! It's been more than two months now since OCI, and I've been saving my appetite for those great Biglaw callback lunches you bragged about. I'm starting to get discouraged...."
69, it's Heath Ledger, not Keith. Idiot.
The answer is that students from non-peer, non-preeminent law schools do not have gainful employment prospects.
That is all, hoi polloi.
Too true, 83. Although I do have admit to the shame of chuckling at a recent Emir Partnerius post.
is that Spitzer's political career or partner Emeritus' schtick?
Although the recession was difficult for those lawyers trying to enter the private sector, fortunately the Government was still eager to hire attorneys willing to administer its new end-of-life planning initiatives.
Tuition money well spent
Even in the grim economic climate, law schools are still able to provide one service to students - as quickly and painlessly as possible.
89, it's Keith Ledger.
RIP, Keith Ledger:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3cP09N5uQM
Even Death can't find work.
Our deaths have been deferred, ain't OCS heard?
Fresh off the latest round of layoffs, the managing partner shows his true colors at OCI this year.
The life of a Latham troll
Is unemployment killing you?
Yeah, I think Keith Ledger went to U Penn St.
"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." - Absentee career services director
Another gullible first year believes the ole "the best costume wins the job" line.
"Hi Taj"
Quinn's remains
KILLSELF - the latest suggestion from career services
Unsatisfied after eating all of the candy, Elie the Walrus calmly devours an unsuspecting first-year law student.
Dean Burcham, we finally took care of that pesky L2L problem...
I kept my options open.
100 wins
"Please place your resume in the recepticle next to the visual representation of the legal market. Thank you for your cooperation."
108 shouldn't win, but it made me laugh out loud.
You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy'sole.
- Frank Reynolds
After seeing the Virginia and New Jersey election polls,
Nancy Pelosi starts looking for a new job.
welcome to harvard. would you like some coffee?
2009 OCI was truly murder.
Welcome to career services....Have you tried networking?
I always thought it was just hyperbole when they said law school destroys your soul.
Elie
If you can step away from the Black Panther rally for just a second here- Gates is meeting with the cop again. Gee, who knew. Maybe they can become pals.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2009/10/gates-sgt-crowley-hold-another-beer-summit/1
Tell me about the loneliness of good, He-Man. Is it equal to the loneliness of evil?
It used to be that everyone from our school with a pulse could get a job. But now, things are looking pretty grim.
I DEMAND RESTITUTION!
After yet again listening to the Dean of Career Services advise them to network and read "Guerilla Tactics," a group of furious, jobless 3Ls violently murder her and stuff her into a black trash bag.
I have crossed oceans of time to find you - PUSH THE BUTTON!
“The skeletons were positioned in Career Services with care, in hopes that real live law students with their pesky requests for actual assistance would get the message and stay away from there"
And the 3L, never flitting,
still is sitting, still is sitting
On the 3L's seat of shame
just inside the office door;
And his eyes have all the seeming
of a demon's that is dreaming,
His confetti-ed applications
Are all strewn across the floor;
But I, a callous fellow,
Pass this hopeless fool and bellow
"I am sorry you're so mellow,
Cause I'm Vault 20 secure!"
SUCKAS
Back in 10 minutes
"Coffee?"
Another visual reminder that President Lincoln massacred more Americans than Hitler did during WWII.
Waiting for bar results before I can look for a job.
my heller ehrman interviewer will show up anytime now...anytime... now...
Cooley grads tell no tales.
"ATL reader patiently awaits a grammatically perfect post from Elie."
that bitch from career services told me good things come to those who wait.
Lat: "Hey Elie - want to go to lunch?"
Elie: "No thanks. I already ate."
"What's that? Wait a little longer? [Sigh] OK."
Death: Where else would I go to collect dejected, hateful souls?
The HR Director at Pillsbury prepares for another round of layoffs.
After receiving numerous student complaints that the career services staff was indifferent and unresponsive to the economic downturn, the dean went down the hall to investigate...
Welcome To Your Future.
Welcome To Your Future.
"Are you still there, Mr. Smith? Do you mind making another pot of coffee?"
Sorry, not taking any applicants either.
I'm with 97. Even death can't get a callback interview.
I'm with 97. Even death can't get a callback interview.
This job market is killing me.
Zing!
This is your law firm. This is your law firm on the billable hour....
Dear Students:
To the administration's dismay, charging you for plastic forks and cups has not stopped the hemorrhaging of our endowment. To further curb the effects of this recession, career services staff has been replaced with festive Halloween skeletons. We do not anticipate that this will have any negative effect on your job search.
Best,
Law School
"Will work for food"
28 - win
Too bad ATL asked for a caption and not an epic poem...
Career Services illustrating that students’ odds of securing gainful employment in this economy are positively skeletal.
Legal recruiting is dead.
All hail Sam Biers.
The Grim Lawyer in the hospitality suite at OCI.
Budgetary cuts have forced us to only offer hot water, no coffee. Oh, and there's a candy machine serving peanuts that we scored from the airline on the way up here. Enjoy!
larry's touching faith in the office's promise to place him in big law remained a lone bright spot in what had otherwise been a difficult year for the career counselors.
Finally, Career Services hatched an effective scheme to deter the recent spate of trash can pooping.
The head of Career Services was just dying to offer students his advice.
DADDY WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME. YOU ONLY LOVE JAKE.
Deferred to Death: The 3L Tragedy
Ready for your appointment with the University of Colorado Career Services Department? Oh don't mind him, he's just one of our unemployed 65%, ahem, 35% graduates who swore off eating until he got a job that wasn't document review...but I'm sure your situation will turn out differently...
Roxana on the Breadline.
Exploring Alternative Career Paths: OCS Presents Mr. Reaper in "Discussions on Alternative Avenues to Hell: the Direct Route"
Due to the current economic climate, career services has expanded its offerings beyond traditional law firm employment. Please stop by our office to participate in our OCI program, or to receive a blowjob from our newest staff assistant, whichever you believe would be less painful.
Elie went on a hunger strike for student loan forgiveness, vowing to subsist on gumballs and coffee. He didn't even make it three days.
Sorry, Biglaw recruiters aren't showing up; Hell Is FULL.
I see dead people
I am here to guide you across the river Styx. . . I mean, Charles, to your career in biglaw.
HLS Career Services
I nominate 138
In a remarkable piece of performance art, laid off attorney Roxana St. Thomas arranges for her corpse to be displayed at the BLS career services office following her death by starvation as a warning to others.
Your legal career in 3D: candy and coffee until graduation, then...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Damn you 163!!!!
170
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
Someone told me law school was career suicide. I guess he was almost right...
If you take a short boat ride with me now, I will spare you a life of debt and misery as a contract document reviewer in an biglaw offsite sweatshop.
1. Career Services - because we'll get you a job no matter who we have to make a deal with!
2. Career Services - taking care of you until death do us part.
Chester F.
Spokesman for the law school's Career Services Death Panel.
O'QUINN'S REMAINS
...too soon?
Kate Moss gets accepted to UVa
If you take a short boat ride with me now, I will spare you a life of debt and misery as a contract document reviewer in a biglaw offsite sweatshop.
106 is the only comment i laughed at. And it made me lol.
So, when career services are not busy finding grads jobs they are . . . decorating for 2nd tier holidays?
Nice, 149... and probably accurate.
The interviewer wasn't impressed that I was a member of the Skulls.
FIGHT ON!!!
I mean who doesn't wear a tie to an interview. Good luck, buddy.
Ghoul School of Law
"I'm still waiting for a callll baaackkk"
"I'm a product of the recession"
"Someone promised me a lonnng time ago that career services would help me get a job..."
As a sign of the times, career services at law schools adopt a new uniform.
Merry Christmas! Law students.
I saw your firm handles many wrongful death cases. I believe I would be a great asset to your practice.
31!!
I laughed out loud.
You are right, pussies shouldn't work in Detroit.
Justice Stevens was thrilled with his new exfoliant; all the other justices commented on how much younger he looked.
Hey, what's my sex life doing in this photo?
I've been waiting ages for my paternity suit to be heard!
"At least they finally stopped lying to us..."
Welcome to Career Services. I am your prospect.
Welcome to Career Services. I am your prospect.
Wrong holiday . . . the "Ghost of Law School Debt to Come" should show up a graduation.
144 - nice one.
9 wins it. No doubt.
I should have known better when talked to that Thelen Reid recruiter in September, 2008.
In a move of TTT brilliance, the Career Services Department hired the Scare-Career to avoid having to tell the students they F'd up by going to law school; hoping the dead dude would keep already paranoid law students away.
Networking!
While Columbia charges for sporks and NYU charges for cups, it's glitz and glam as usual for the lucky students of USC. Why, just this week they hosted the Q&A session after the premier of, "This is It."
Career Services - Where legal dreams come to die.
144 - LOL, a winner!
Hi! Welcome to career services, I'm death! No, I'm not here for your soul. I'm here for . . . your CAAAARRREEERRRRRR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
When 900 years old are you, look as good, you will not, hee-hee.
"Alright, I think I've done enough damage around here. I think I'll sit down and grab a cup of coffee before me and Barack head over to the health sector."
"The Dean felt awkward after commenting on the 'nice halloween decorations.' Apparently the CSO had yet to read the holiday memo about trying to be 'festive.'"
"Crystal Meth is a hell'uva drug."
-2L gunner
"This economy is so bad that even I'm out of work."
"This economy is so bad that even I'm out of work."
"This economy is so bad that even I'm out of work."
"This economy is so bad that even I'm out of work."
"Stupid law students. . .what did you expect? A job!? "
" I got 'your sense of entitlement'. . . . Right here."
9 is the best, hands down
Students asked what they could to pay off their loans in the current job market. For once, the CSO told them the truth.
PE seems to be losing his bearings. His posts are increasingly nonsensical.
What's wrong PE?
138! Almost made me pee.
"Josh was defered in '09. "
-Photograph of Career Services, Halloween 2088
138! Almost made me pee.
Attempt as I may, I'm not coming up with a better one than 144.
To set an example, the school has banned Reaper, Serpent & Leprechaun from OCI. Pictured is the Reaper in a 2008 meeting with hopeful 3LS. No word yet as to when he will return.
"The Grim Reaper takes time from his busy schedule to counsel law students on their career prospects."
Mr. Reaper, you just need to put yourself out there. You miss 100% of the souls you don't take
"Honestly, you can't beat the summer associate program in hell."
Halloween decorations: $30
New outfit: $750
JD: priceless
...oh wait, it's 2009, I meant to say "JD: worthless"
" Latham foregoes hiring recent law school grads and decides to terminate them while they are still in school."
"I told him the job market was dead...I guess he took it literally..."
the best are, in no particular order, 37, 43, and 70.
"I heard someone say they'd sell their soul for a callback?"
"Commemorating the great career massacre of 2010
- Career Services, 2020"
clever 144
3L: My indifference has shut me out. I live in a world of ghosts, a prisoner of dreams. I want God to put out his hand, show his face, speak to me. I cry out to him in the dark but there is no one there.
Death: Have you applied for our public interest fellowships?
The 3L had a nagging feeling that this interview was going to be a dead end.
-SWH
"Hell, 2009"
"Commemorating the great career massacre of 2010
- Career Services, May 14 2020"
Cheer up, guys. Orrick is still hiring!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/lgl/1443085883.html
2009 law school grad awaits the Kaye Scholer "wave"
Partner Emeritus' hybrid tough love approach is paying off.
'We have a small boutique practice that specializes death sentence appeals. We lose 100% of the time."
"Cravath recruiter evaluates 2L souls."
Michigan CSO's newest attempt to dissuade Nervous Top 10 2L from constantly asking for resume and interviewing advice.
I'm waiting to apply for that law gig that is well balanced, female friendly, and fun!
"3L OCI? Umm....sure. Just have a seat here and we'll let you know if any slots become available."
Law firms falls across the land,
The midnight hour is close at hand.
Three Ls crawl in search of work
When only volunteering lurks.
And any firm that can be found
To hire in forgotten grounds
Must post and pay and start on time
Or face the wrath of us online.
The foulest stench is OCI—
The funk of career service lies!
And though fifth years from every tomb
Try to warn us of the doom,
We think we’ re fine with our JDs
For no mere student can resist
The lure of obsolete degrees.
A 2L staged a sit in during OCI--he is refusing to leave the career services office until a law firm gives him a job.
No, Dean, the new Career Services administrator we hired hasn't been able to improve the employment numbers at all. But on the bright side, student complaints about Career Services have dropped off completely!
71 is great!
"Welcome to Law School Career Purgatory, where hopes and dreams go to die. I'm Odin, your host."
"Just wait here, and we'll be right back with your Clerkship Application results."
"The market for recent law school grads is going to turn around soon. I can feel it in my bones."
"Mr. Reaper, I think you would make a perfect candidate for a position at Quinn Emanuel. They like prospective first years with colorful outside interests. And there is no dress code."
"eek! my career!"
"No, I don't think the collapse of the market for law school graduates is funny. Now the plague that was funny."
" I CAN HAS 3LZ SOLES."
46 (Thursday, October 29, 2009 7:21 PM) is awesome.
The picture works, and there's a great greed parallel between the poor choice for the grail and the poor choice to enter law school right before the crash.
"All of Jim's classmates wondered what happened to him at graduation. It was not until the fall of 2009 that it was discovered he missed the memo that fall OCI for law firm jobs had been deferred until the fall of 2010."
Come in. Yes . . . she'll be with you in a moment. Yes, next to him.
"me so solly"
or
"me ruvy sucky sucky"
or
"me so horny"
日，吓死你大爷了
We'll meet again you know where.
CHECK YOU EMAIL
Are you here for the Skullfucking?
Deferred Associate, Class of 1929.
Taj lives- and he's pissed!
I'd tap that.
Interviews for the new firm of "Lucifer, Beezlebub, and O'Quinn LLP"
Is she one of David Letterman's interns?
Kash- can you start a new blog "Underneath Their Burqas"!
Is she one of David Letterman's interns?
"Damn- Career Services is like Auchwitz this year!"
"Deferred First Year Waiting for Start Date"
The Grim Reaper waits inside OCI to collect the souls of the law students who have sold them for a law firm interview.
He wanted to see a place that had more carnage.
He wanted to see a place that had more carnage.
"Foolish mortal. Come inside and view your future, and despair!"
9, 15, 55 - nice.
How about: "You chose....poorly"
An allusion to indiana jones, holy grail, old knight comment when nazi archaeologist chooses wrong cup. Though I guess if it needs an explanation its kind of weak.
9, 15, 55 - nice.
How about: "You chose....poorly"
An allusion to indiana jones, holy grail, old knight comment when nazi archaeologist chooses wrong cup. Though I guess if it needs an explanation its kind of weak.
Desmond R.G. Underwood knew the biglaw job market was bad, but not THIS bad!
"Committed to outdo the "great non-legal associate manager job at Arby's" job posting debacle of 2008, CSO demonstrates that its lack of common sense and insensitivity towards the plight of 3Ls is only rivaled by its total obliviousness to irony. Grim reaper skeletons in the CSO? This Bud's for you Mrs. I-used-to-work-in-a-no-name-firm-that-i-insist-on-calling-big-law-and-after-being-forced-out-for-incompetence-i-brought-my-useless-skillset-here-where-know-nothing-1Ls-wouldn't-know-better-than-to-take-my-advice-on-how-to-format-a-resume-despite-that-i-barely-could-get-a-cso-job-let-alone-a-job-at-a-real-firm."
Your career in Biglaw has given up the ghost.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to all above captions.
After one tainted donut, and three weeks laying undiscovered in Lat's office, the ATL community is shocked to learn that
at least deep down inside, elie mystal has been white all along!
Roxanna st. Thomas' career prospects take a decidedly positive turn after she drops dead during a sit-in at her alma mater's cso.
The only sure things in life are death, taxes, and futility in the career services office.
0L tour gudie: "And here is our career services office, if you peer in, you can see they are working harder than ever before."
0L tour guide: "And here is our career services office, if you peer in, you can see they are working harder than ever before."
0L tour guide: "And here is our career services office, if you peer in, you can see they are working harder than ever before."
Career Services: Where Fun Literally Goes to Die.
Yet another ghost with a resume...
Looking for recruits to lighten his workload, Death knew at law schools it's an employer's market.
Unlike other firms, which also extend offers in exchange for your souls, we guarantee you a job for eternity.
"So... this is where people come to sell their souls, huh?"
"Is this the line for returns? With the market down, I have about a million lawyers down in hell that I don't need anymore."
"I just made my last student loan payment"
"I just made my last student loan payment"
"We don't have any candy, coffee, or jobs even though we charge 50K a year, however, you can wait with this gentleman, but he has been here for quite sometime waiting"
Providence BIG LAW
"We don't have any candy, coffee, or jobs even though we charge 50K a year, however, you can wait with this gentleman, but he has been here for quite some time waiting"
Providence BIG LAW
Next...
We'll let you know as soon as we know about OCI. Meanwhile, help yourself to some coffee and peanuts.
We'll let you know as soon as we know about OCI. Meanwhile, help yourself to some coffee and peanuts.
OCS stands for Overpaid Corpses Sitting (or at least you'd think so given placement results)
"Still waiting for a callback...."
"Now, see, doesn't it look better out there. Go and submit that resume with a cheery smile."
The death of Big Law. Fall 2009. Coming to a Career Services Office near you.
Hi! Did you bring the Stimulus job list?
Hi! Did you bring the Stimulus job list?
PLEASE MODERATE #284. IT IS ANTI-SEMITIC.
Hi! Did you come for the Stimulus jobs?
Hi! Did you come for the Stimulus jobs?
The job market is so bad, the career services office even smells like death.
"So am I supposed to be the ghost of OCI present or OCI future? ... Screw it, at least I have a job."
I'm just waiting for the job market to turn around . . .
"You want a job? How am I supposed to help you? I couldn't cut it as an Attorney so that's why I'm in Career Services"
"just one of the recruiters from Cravath"
"No, the coffee's fresh. Really."
By the time this job market picks up we will be like this guy
"I think you're looking for the Office of Financial Aid."
ATTENTION Class of 2009!!!
We are hiring a few recent graduates who would like to sit in the Career Services Office for about 20 hours per week and scare away the 3Ls.
Please submit your resume to the Director of Career Services by 12:00 p.m. tomorrow. $8/hour
Santa Clause has been laid-off, so sit on the nice man's lap and tell him if you've been good.
This is what happens to you if you leak the Wilmer memo.
CDO director's statement to police - "He said he wasn't leaving until I found him a job and I guess he was serious."
This is what happens to you if you leak the Wilmer memo.
Please take a seat in the waiting area. A counselor will be with you as soon as jobs become available.
This is what happens when ass-lobsters are left untreated.
"I'll find you a position, but first you must drink the decaf of lost souls...oh dammit, we're out."
"Only the penitent man will pass."
2009 grad still looking for a job
46 FTW
Hi, uh, Grim Reaper here. I don't appreciate the wait -- I thought I made an appointment? I also don't want your free coffee or gumball machine full of candy corn. I WANT YOUR JOB.
"F#@* it. I'll scare them into hiring me."
Barack Hussein Obama made a rare appearance at a local law school's career services to demonstrate how the stimulus is creating jobs.
Barack Hussein Obama made a rare appearance at a local law school's career services to demonstrate how the stimulus is creating jobs.
Barack Hussein Obama made a rare appearance at a local law school's career services to demonstrate how the stimulus is creating jobs.
"By the power of Gray...Robinson."
"The Audacity of Hope"
9 is good. 20 made me laugh out loud.
321 is overreacting and hysterical. Please moderate!!!! Get a life and stop being such a pussy.
"So you're saying I shouldn't have become an attorney?"
Lawyer hot.
This is Mr. Death. He's a reaper.
Mr Death is a Reaper.
The Grim Reaper.
Hardly surprising in this weather, ha ha ha...
So you still reap around here do you, Mr Death?
Only the penitent man shall pass.
"Now look here. You barge in here, quite uninvited, break glasses and then announce quite casually that we're all dead. Well I would remind you that you are a guest in this house and..."
"Be quiet! You Englishmen... You're all so fucking pompous and none of you have got any balls."
On campus interviews are delayed again?!
Wake me for the next job fair.
Damn. Start date deferred again.
"Thanks for stopping by career services! We'll start decorating for Halloween in 20 minutes."
The job market was in shambles. Students everywhere resorted to selling their souls for a summer position. Now serving number 1,004,567.
Career Services warned him that it might be a while before he got a call-back in this tough market...
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
MODERATE 284.
Career Services warned him that it might be a while before he got a call-back in this tough market...
Come in to my parlor . . .
When the going gets tough . . .
Didn't realize Justice Ginsburg's robe includes a hood.
The soul reaping business is so good, Mr Reaper is looking to hire some associate help.
Death and taxes, death and taxes
"Due to the constant temperature and low humidity of the office, the deceased OCI candidates are remarkably well-preserved, offering historians a chance to examine these strangely optimistic creatures in detail."
"Well, he's certainly been here a while. He may have come here for a a job, but I'd say that his employment options..."
(Puts on sunglasses)
...."Are indefinitely deferred"
YYYEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!
"Damn, I think I'm in the wrong bathroom." - Judge Posner
"Damn, I think I'm in the wrong bathroom." - Judge Posner
Please Wait Patiently For your Deferred Start. I'm sure Foley & Lardner will call right after Tom here gets his start date.
It was around this time that John's friends began to suspect he'd been waiting to hear back from Alston Bird for too long.
There's nothing wrong with 284. It's not very funny, but it's not racist either. To moderate 284 is to censure mention of the holocaust, which seems awfully close to denying it. And that's just ignorant.
Calm down 364 and others (who are probably also 364) My grandfather was actually held at Auschwitz and even I thought the comment was funny.
Our live career services people were just as helpful, and following the lead of many of the firms in the Vault 100, we felt it was time to make cuts
The blackness of death is incredibly racist.
The economy is so damn bad! Law was a bad choice.
"Sorry. Can't get lunch again. The partner promised to meet me here and give me substantive feedback on my memo about Oregon's right-to-die law."
"Oh, I see you’re back, how did that sure thing work out for you?"
Had some issues and haven’t been able to find anyone jobs. Be cool on this.
OCS told this laid off first-year associate that she could stay, just until the stimulus package began to kick in.
Oh yes, my Boss can always use more lawyers.
Oh yes, my Boss can always use more lawyers.
Latham and Watkins
Personifying Latham and Watkins' slide into the abyss
Waiting for hope and change...
So THAT's where Osama Bin Laden has been hiding all this time!
So THAT's where Osama Bin Laden has been hiding all this time!
They say a man should always dress for the job he wants
So why am I dressed up like the Reaper back at my old haunt?
It’s all because my offer was yanked away from me,
And now I’m drinking cream and coffee here at USC
Should have gone to
Vault 20, not TTT
They’re capable of getting through a bad economy
And maybe then I’d have a job to pay my student loans
Instead of dropping resumes in a costume made of bones.
Ever wonder where Dow Is Up Guy went?
advisor: He's been waiting here since OCI. I kept telling him to broaden his search, but he insisted that anything other than a Vault 10 firm would undervalue him as an asset.
Tuition increases used to chase the next real estate bubble: graveyards.
I'll see you again, you know where. :-)
The Career Services office is re-opened in April 2015 with minimal fanfare.
OK, maybe a hunger strike over Sullivan & Cromwell's NALP violations wasn't such a good idea after all....
As someone offended by 284, both as to my sense of humor and my Judaism, I'd like to tell all those screaming for moderation to STFU! You'd prefer censoring to being offended by an idiotic anonymous post? Because what... fascism has always worked out so well for Jews in the past?
You're probably the same idiots who love Jackie Mason and Mel Brooks and "Springtime for Hitler" but can't stand stuff like this. Grow a set!
ATL meets DOJ Secure.
Here lies Firsty McFirsterson, hated son, annoying brother, douchebag gunner.
Finally, the last career service employee can be crossed off the list.
Despite the extreme diet, Elie was still not able to lose his moobs.
Due to budget cutbacks, coffee is now 25 cents, coffemate 5 cents, sugar is 10 cents a packet, and if you need a cup, that is another 15 cents. You got a problem with that?
"You know you wish you were me."
Circa 2013. A deferred first year biglaw associate (class of 2008) continues to wait for news on his start date.
T20 law school kills students to improve its employed at graduation numbers.
"Is this firm on the River Styx or the River Hudson?
70/96 YOU are an idiot
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005132/
"The only career available to Calvin upon graduating from Cooley was to dress up like a corpse and hand out free candy."
"The interviewer from Reaps & Grayves LLP will see you now."
@43 is surely going to Hell for not knowing it's War, Famine, PESTILENCE & Death LLP.
Does art imitate life, or life imitate art?
The Republican Party after the election of 2008
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
Well...that and starvation.
Taking time to savor the moment after completing his list at Career Services.
After his offer was revoked, Jimmy Olsen decided to go through OCI again during the fall of his 3L year. The results are not yet in.
Photographic proof that Micheal Jackson is not dead.
Citing budget cutbacks, Career Services dilutes its complementary coffee with a mixture of used motor oil and battery acid.
162 FTW! I hate those damn emails with supposedly catchy names....
Poor Roxanna ... damn this recession!
Looking for a job... welcome to hell
Wow, over 400 posts and maybe 10 total are slightly funny or clever. Small wonder the law and its denizens remain imminently mock worthy.
So THAT'S what happened to Dean Wayne!
"So they told me 'wait for the green shoots'. Little did I know I'd be seeing them from six feet under."
I can't get you a job, but I am willing to refrain from smashing this coffeepot on your face. See how nice I am? See, see?
I read in ATL that my class was deferred, but I'm still waiting to hear officially....
Welcome to Rick's Cabaret.
Right this way Mr. Rehnquist...
OMG -- 429!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"2008 law grad - But the dean promised at commencement that we would ALL find a job."
Conversation in the next room of the OCS:
"Since Harvard dropped a real grading policy this office has not had an inkling of work to do. Not even that stoner kid needed help landing a job and he's taken the bar three times! I hoped we could do something more stimulating and fulfilling with our lives than drink coffee all day."
"I know!!! Aren't you just so bored you could die!!?!"
did i win LOL