The ‘Experience O’Melveny’ for Summer Associates
Last month, we wrote about a five-year strategic plan created by O’Melveny & Myers. In our initial post, we focused on O’Melveny’s expectations for partners and associates in the future. We skipped over this piece of the plan, focused on summer associates. From a section of the plan entitled “Talent Development”:
Identify future junior associates who will advance the vision of the firm by…creating an intensive summer program experience — “Experience O’Melveny” — that prepares incoming associates for the successful practice of law.
We particularly like that the summer associate program will be “Experience O’Melveny” going forward. It made us think of the Imax Experience — like a real movie but better — or a roller coaster at Six Flags — sure to thrill and cause nausea.
We imagine what “Experience O’Melveny” will look like, after the jump.
Our purely fictional rendering of “Experience O’Melveny”:
Oh future Biglaw lawyers of America. What are you looking for this summer? Do you want a humdrum SA gig or do you want the Experience O’Melveny?If you hesitated for even a second in answering that question, you can just walk away right now. Don’t walk actually. Run. Part of Experience O’Melveny is that our summer associates will be responsible for tracking you down, “The Most Dangerous Game” style. We wish you luck in your future Biglaw endeavors elsewhere and hope you’re good at hiding your tracks.
For those who shouted Experience O’Melveny at the top of their lungs and started pounding your chests and jumping up and down as if starting salaries just got upped to 190k, you are the ones we want. The brave. The bold. The manic.
This summer, you will see things you’ve never seen before. Experience O’Melveny is an action-packed thrill ride that will leave you desperate for an offer. You will doc review like you’ve only dreamed of. You will legal research the hell out of cases. You will talk to partners who will. Blow. Your. Mind.
It will be fun. It will also be challenging. There will be 72 hour days where we will test your sleep deprivation powers and your abilities to survive on one order of Chinese noodles and all the coffee you can drink. We will have doc review contests where we set you up in a room with five other summers and see who can go through 10 boxes of discovery most rapidly. Partners and associates will be watching. And cheering for their favorites. There will be legal memo competitions. Who can draft fastest and best? You will be graded.
There may also be hang-gliding challenges.
The O’Melveny Experience will be lengthy. We know many firms are cutting back on the length of their summer associate programs. Ours is a fulsome 20 weeks, and we’re hiring 5,000 summer associates. You heard that right: 5,000 summer associates for 20 weeks. But we’re doing this a little different this year. At the end of every two week period, half of the summer associates will be voted off the O’Melveny Island. We are trying to find the best junior associates in the world. The very best. And we want to try a new approach. Only the strong will survive.
One other thing. The O’Melveny experience pays and pays well. You will make the pro-rated salary of a non-equity partner. But only if you survive the Island. Only those remaining at the end of the summer will be paid. That will be fewer than 10 of the 5,000 who started with us. You will have earned it.
Now, who wants to sign up for the on-campus interview and run the Gladiator-style obstacle course?
Earlier: The New Biglaw Business Model, According to O’Melveny & Myers
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Comments
first!
Where does OMM stand in LA? I heard it has dropped
http://legalblogwatch.typepad.com/legal_blog_watch/2009/10/law-firm-layoffs-when-the-facts-obscure-the-news.html
What, pray tell, is "O'Melveny & Myers"?
i see its SLOW news day....good news for incoming associates
Goldman employees on track to out earn JPMorgan's
This is probably the worst story I've ever read on this blog, which is saying a lot. There is absolutely ZERO substance here: "OMM is changing their summer program, but we're not going to tell you anything about it!"
this is THE WORST POST EVER. Come on man.
Sounds pretty douchey to me.
Come on Why don't you report some "real" news about OMM. How about some news from the recent town halls in each of the offices, recently layed off associates, new bonus policy, etc. How about the mysterious departure of the head of the DC office transactions department and member of, the inner circle of power, the "policy committee" who jumped ship for Baker Botts... there is so much more real scoop than this boring report.
Lay off Mystal. He has trouble typing because he uses his humongous Walrus tusks to type. You would have trouble too.
Confirmed: Pepper Hamilton has let three associates "trickle out" during the past month. They plan the same for the next several months, which adds up to a substantial number. This way it just looks performance based.
Visit its web page every month and you'll notice that a few associates have mysteriously disappeared.
F'ING LAME POST - thanks for telling us absolutely nothing besides OMM has a summer program. Real rocket science there...
This wins for ATL's lamest story ever.
Mr. Kash, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
My hot girlfriend gets to "Experience O'Melveny" two or three times a night. As you wrote in the first sentence of paragraph seven: "The O’Melveny Experience will be lengthy."
Don't trip over that shark.
Iowa Guy
Elie,
Nice to see your shilling for OMM hasn't ended yet. I cant wait to see what part of their grand plan you leak next.
Oh, and your talk of the length of their summer program couldn't be any more ridiculous. OMM cut their program from 12 weeks to 10 weeks this past summer. Not that that matters to you, keep on making up stuff to keep your OMM sponsors happy.
11 & 18
Do you have a problem with reading comprehension? This is a Kash post:
The ‘Experience O’Melveny’ for Summer Associates
Thursday, October 15, 2009 11:38 AM - By Kashmir Hill
I thought this was hilarious.
Wow, and I thought I would read something useful here. WTF is the author smoking?
Neither funny, nor informative. Not sure why I read that, but I'm pissed.
19
My mistake. I am so use to Elie spouting off stupid posts that I just assumed it was him. Alas, it looks like his terribleness has infected Kash as well.
18
It's raining in NYC.
Based on what I heard from one of our summers (who split with OMM), "Experience OMM" is basically just a euphemism for crushing summer associates with fake work and asking them to work 80+ hour weeks (again, for fake work) to try to either weed out our discourage all of the people they won't be able to get sweatshop labor out of later. Yuck.... but honest.
If we are to assume that there will be a final cut at the end of the last 2 weeks of the program, there will be about 4.9 associates left or less than 5. I suppose less than 10 qualifies, but isn't too specific.
As a sidenote, when I realized this "error" in the article, I came harder than I have in years.
what the hell kash
25
I have heard the same thing from someone I knew who summered there. All of the summer class was assigned the same "mock" (i.e. fake) case to draft a motion for and then they later did a "mock" (i.e. fake) negotiation. I guess it is an easy way to compare summers to decide who to keep when you know you are in a situation where you can only give offers to half of them. That's the OMM Experience.
Seriously, what is the point of this post? As far as I can tell, you took a small section from a strategic plan that hasn't even been implemented yet, then created a fake commentary around that. What's your problem with OMM? It's that slow of a news day that you just decided to start bashing a firm for absolutely no reason? Why don't you go back to talking about deferred start dates, and yes, OMM's first year associates are starting on time.
30: only if you consider starting in December as "starting on time," instead of September.
Congrats to me for skipping the article and only reading the comments! I win!
30: O'Melveny was the first legit firm to announce a deferral. December 2009 is several months pushed back and not "on time." Incoming associates received no deferral compensation.
I'm sure if it waited another two weeks, it would have pushed the incoming class back a year consistent with the market.
OMM New York should just close down or merge with Latham NY to form a biggest douche NY office