Warning: The penis-to-vagina ratio in this week’s column is quite high. If you’re already on the mailing list for Rick Santorum 2012, you may want to avert your eyes — or go make fun of sissy-boy John Kerry for helping plan his daughter’s wedding.

Our fabulous finalist couples:

1. Sebastian Dungan and Lavi Soloway

2. Adam Levine and Janson Wu

3. Alisha Bhagat and Mark Egerman

Read more about these newlyweds, after the jump.

1. Sebastian Dungan and Lavi Soloway
(Buy them a soup bowl.)

The Case:
- Sebastian (pictured right — we think), a graduate of Yale, is an independent film producer. Lavi (pictured left — we think), who graduated from the University of Toronto and Cardozo, is a partner at Masliah and Soloway, an immigration law firm in New York. He’s also a founder of Immigration Equality. (Lavi’s name should be a familiar one to many ATL readers, as he extensively covered the Aaron Charney vs. Sullivan & Cromwell lawsuit on his blog.)
- The third cutie in the picture is Lavi’s daughter, Lily.

The Case Against:
- Sebastian’s decision to purchase a blazer on their first date appears to mystify the Times. Hello? You see a fabulous blazer, and you jump on it. Mr. Right will respect your shopping acumen. End of story.

2. Adam Levine and Janson Wu
(Make a donation in their honor.)

The Case:
- Adam has quite a diploma wall: two undergrad degrees from USC (one in creative writing and another in biomedical engineering), a medical degree from UCSF, and a master’s in public health from Berkeley. He’s currently an assistant professor of emergency medicine at Brown University.
- Janson (pictured) graduated from Harvard and has a JD from HLS. He works as a staff lawyer at Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders in Boston.

The Case Against:
- We couldn’t come up with a picture of this Adam Levine. (But there are oddles of this Adam Levine, who’s quite hunky.)

3. Alisha Bhagat and Mark Egerman
(Buy them a garlic press.)

The Case:
- These two met as undergrads at Carnegie Mellon (she graduated with “college honors” and he got “university honors”). She has a master’s in foreign service from Georgetown; he has a JD, cum laude, from HLS, and a master’s in international development from Cambridge.
- They’ve dated for eight years but spent much of that time apart, do-gooding separately in various foreign lands like the Cook Islands, India, and Sri Lanka.
- Mark works for the National Abortion Federation in Washington, an association of abortion providers with an admirably straightforward name. He also has a fellowship at GULC in women’s law and public policy.

The Case Against:
- As committed as these two are to social justice, radical activism, and all things progressive, we hope they’re suitably embarrassed to be this week’s only heterosexual couple — and with these totally bourgeois registries at Macy’s, Crate & Barrel, and Williams-Sonoma.

The Verdict:
- Since the personal is political, let’s simplify things: Team Dungan-Soloway = immigration reform; Team Levine-Wu = marriage equality; Team Bhagat-Egerman = abortion rights. Which cause/couple will ATL readers chose?