Sloppy secondsssssss...!

PE, are you out there, or were you among the arrested for child prostitution? Inquiring minds want to know, since you obviously enjoy buggering young boys.

I had a romantic dalliance this summer with Casual Observer and a Seton Hall student summering at Orrick. Do I have any chance of going to heaven when I die?

Dowd is the criminal lawyer. Rakoff is the judge in the civil case. Does Dowd have much to do with the case in front of Rakoff?

Uh oh! What does this Thelen news mean for everyone's favorite former-Thelen, now-Orrick partner with a dazzling and phallic name?

This post is addressed to commenter no. 3:

Yes I was arrested this morning. However, due to my obscene wealth, I will never spend a day in jail.

Partner Emeritus - I surmise that the above listed firms are "non-peer" firms. Nevertheless, if you wouldn't mind, could you post the definition of "peer firm?" Do you mean white-shoe, V20, etc?

Thanks you in advance. As always, your comedic posts are always appreciated!

V50 Associate

Partner Emeritus,

I am wise to you this time. I won't let you kill the laughter.

PE, you must have a very small dick, since you seem to have no problems with little boys.

Good to see we are going with our "A" game on the comments this morning...

sheeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Pimpin' aint easy.

Partner Emeritus & JaKe:

It would be great honor for me to cover you in the milk of camels and make loves to your mouths and anus. Please for this thank you much.

ShaFeef

Child prostitution is a lot like Obamacare. The younger and healthier people will have to make enough wealth to support the older, less healthy people. Naturally, under such an inverse pyramid scheme, with so much of the population being old, we as a country cannot afford to have our six and eight year olds selfishly sitting around doing nothing. They should be out pounding the pavement and getting employment.

8: if you honestly think that Partner Emeritus is going to bother responding to your pathetic attempt to suck up to him, then you really do belong at Cooley or Rutgers or whatever non-tier 1/non-peer law school you attend. You definitely seem to write like a third-year law student , in my opinion

If my assumptions are incorrect, and you do actually work at a V50 firm, then I apologize. How did you get the job? Did it involve drinking a lot of bodily fluids? I'm not talking about blood or urine, either.

I love the notion that a person signing a will is held to a lower standard of competence than someone signing a contract because the former won't be around to suffer the consequences.

That's almost as creative lawyering as the Spanking Judge who targeted convicts and then at his trial argued they were not to be believed because they were felons.

14,
Who knew that "the greatest generation" meant being the first one in history to want subsequent generations to be worse off.

8, I would like to further elaborate on what I was discussing. I believe that if you divide your school rank by 4, the result will be the same as the number of gallons of said bodily fluid that you will have to drink to get hired at a V50 firm. In your case, because your law school probably ranks somewhere around number 120 or 125, it looks like you won't be thirsty for awhile. Drink up.

Former Thelen and current Orrick partner The Glass Cock here, responding to 6's inquiry. What this means for me is nothing. As anyone who has ever tried to squeeze blood from a stone can tell you, squeezing cash from a defecting partner, or anything from a glassy cock (with all due respect to those who have tried, and the Glass Cock certainly encourages more to attempt it, with props to Sir Mix A Lot as a hint to The Glass Cock's preferences), is a task yet to be accomplished.

And by the way, Partner Emeritus pees on the floor of the men's room. Have your BPH treated, you doddering old barnacle on our ship of profits.

17

The "greatest generation" is a term coined by an old guy. That should be your first hint. Contemporary historians always get shit wrong. It is kind of like saying that the hippy generation would never sell out to the man. Look at what happened to that "radical" generation. Then you finally get a generation that wants to be able to get into the system, and all you hear is that they are slackers.

5 - typically the crim defense lawyer handles collateral SEC work too (or a partner of his does). Much more efficient.

14--

Shameful.

Partner Emeritus & JaKe:

It would be great honor for me to cover you in the milk of camels and make loves to your mouths and anus. Please for this thank you much.

ShaFeef

@14 - Wow, I can't believe you're making a joke about child prostitution to serve your political goals. Have you lost all sense of decency? You must be a real coward to have gone this far.

ACORN had nothing to do with this child prostitution ring, and it's racist for you to insinuate as much.

14, you're an idiot. Do you have health insurance? If so, then you already participate in the "Obamacare" scheme that you are railing against, i.e., young & healthy supporting the old and sick.

That's how insurance works dummy.

I read this wrong and saw "Thetan refugees", and wondered WTF Scientologists had to do with anything.

Coffee time.

@25 - the best avatar I have seen in a while.

Mystal is the walrus
coo cooo ca chooo

Obama certainly does have something to do with child prostitution. He's a far-left Dem, and he support man/child love like all good Dems.

Who sucks now, Gibson?

-Latham secure

Seriously, what the hell does a child prostitution bust have to do with the legal profession?

I may be off topic in actually proposing an answer to the question, but I'll do so anyway. Here's the politically correct answer, updated as of 2009:

Women partners are not as good rainmakers because of constant discimination. Because of discrimination, only well over half of law school graduates are women, and have been for decades. Similarly, because of raging discrimination, women partners cannot reasonably be exepcted to be rainmakers. It is necessary to create federal laws mandating minimum parternship participations for women irrespective of how much revenue they produce.