Firsty, McFirsty!

worst. post. ever

Offers start "Fall 2010"

You probably say that about all the posts, 3.

Yet more proof that the Class of 2009 is the Lost Generation.

This would never happen at WILDMAN HARROLD.

Oh wait, it just did. Hang in there, everybody. Things will get better.

You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt?
Let's do it in the butt, okay

Proves how retarded the previous SRZ post was. But we all knew that back then.

6 - The Class of 2009 was one of the weakest classes of law students since the 1950s. It's really no surprise its members are struggling.

Elie, don't you think that the no offers are the product of racism?

Actually,2009 summers are class of 2010.

My friends from high school used to no offer people all the time. It was no big deal.

The unfortunate and indebted peons wasting away in law school today have limited options with euphemistic terms such as the "Bird" or "Fox" option. Firms would be better served saying the truth. In the case of law students, these kids have the options of dying from starvation or poisoning. A parched throat or a glass of hemlock anyone?

I have digressed. Law firms should seriously consider adopting my hybrid tough love model that will help stabilize our beloved profession. We need a storm that will purge us from the unwashed masses that are not cut out for this business but feel they are because some Mickey Mouse law school decided to give them a law degree. We need to use the economic tsunami that Commissar Obama keeps agitating to drive down starting salaries and explore hiring overseas counsel that will do the same work, with better attitude and quality, at the fraction of the American price (also consider the side benefits of: lowering costs as a result of no health benefits, no extra overhead, no extra rental outlays for office space, no more defending meritless discrimination/harrassment lawsuits, no more need to comply with Federal Family Leave Act overseas, no pension plans, etc.). And remember, stealth layoffs or layoffs on a rolling basis will keep the remaining rank and file in check, thereby, producing a better work morale. Hybrid tough love...it's about time.

Ookie Cookie?

Gross

<8 ();

Do you believe in miracles, Schulte Roth?

But PE, how do you expect to keep convincing clients to pay high hourly billable rates when they find these hours are being billed by Asian doc reviewers?

People seriously need to stop posting nonsense in this comment section now. Some if not most of us are very concerned about what is going on these days and we don't need to scroll through endless posts about bestiality and the hygiene habits of old men. You people need to think about what, where and when you are posting before you put up that garbage. Go write it in your diary or something if you have to get it out, just leave us alone already!

I know that this comment will be ridiculed or called a joke, but so be it.

No Schulte? No Shitsky!

I apologize for the delayed post. I wanted to comment on the article involving women working remotely in the law. Let me just say that in reading the comments, I saw one astute phrase among the many inane posts. I am not a misogynist, however, I feel women are not up to task when it comes to the practice of law. When a female is menstruating or when going through menopause, she is racked with turmoil and a high range of emotions. In my experience, this can cause women to behave irrationally and such conduct may result in a dead deal, a loss in court or worst, loss of clients. I have digressed again. Some women who work hard and sacrifice their pathetic lives for the sake of the firm deserve to be partners. I agree with the poster that stated that if more women were inclined to engage in rectal sodomy, there would be more females in the partnership ranks. That is all.

You're in the wrong post, PE, you blithering idiot.

For those of you wondering where Jake is today, he is currently scrubbing the inside walls of my swimming pool in Montauk before I shut it down for the winter season.

That kid can be pretty useful when he puts his mind to something. Not too bright though - he insisted on wearing his ferragamos and now they are ruined.

I remember with PE and his colleagues rolled into Sterling Cooper looking for an ad agency to promote them. We politely told that firm that we do not handle PI firms and directed them to an agency in Queens.

My TV dept told me that they did a heavy ad buy on local daytime television. I shuddered at their crude ads looking for Mesothelioma victims.

My advice to the Schulte no-offerees is the same advice that I gave to Peggy Olsen after she gave birth to Pete Campbell's bastard son, Move Forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

23/24: so sad that to see a potentially good schtick go to waste with such awful and painfully unfunny material. oh well.

24-
Hey asshole, thanks for ruining Mad Men for me. I'm still in the first season (because, you know, I actually have a JOB). Retire your stupid shtick and have more tact, dingleberry.

Is there any doubt at this point that PE is Lat and JaKe is Kash?

PE spends way too much time on this blog to be a real attorney, he tends to comment around the same time that Lat posts, he seems fairly well educated and, curiously, while he'll reference, and respond to, other anonymous posters/characters, he never responds to JaKe.

JaKe (notice that the "K" is capitalized) is also not retarded, and is clearly a woman.

moderate 23/24 please.

Back off, 26. I don't care what the poster says or does, I just like looking at the Don Draper avatar.

27: The postings on PE's now defunct Twitter account were larded with various "clues" along these lines, especially the one that simply said "I BURIED PAUL".

25 - And that's why you don't work at Sterling Cooper. Enjoy your doc review career--what little of it there is.

K&L Gates Chicago gave out offers yesterday. 50% offer rate. Get on it Mystal.

14 and 20,

Stop pretending to be the real PE.

I am PE!

-PE

Cadwalader gave 2/3 offers as well.

Cadwalader gave offers for part time work?

i wonder if spa-gate had anything to do with the offer rate

Is having an offer with "no start date" the same thing as not having an offer at all?

37, no having an offer with no start date is worse.

If you have no start date, the firm is free to gleefully coax you along with promises of rainbows and buttercups while you don't actively search for a new job. And then when the job isn't there you're screwed.

At least with no offers you know where you stand.

The ship be sinking...

Schulte? Can we get back to talking about relevant law firms? Any word on Faegre following Dorsey's salary system?

Latham NY gave 50% offers.

38 -

I agree with you 100%. Our firms completely fucked us in a futile attempt to salvage their reputations. I would have much preferred to have been no offered in the summer of 2008. I had another offer from a firm that would never pull what these evil mega firms are doing.

We will never forget.

41, unfortunately firms will be unaffected if you "never forget". Clients who pay bills do not care about summer associates or new associates. Most clients have let go a lot of people in this downturn and view law firms' concerns about layoffs as laughable. In a year this will be remembered as a once in a lifetime blip. The market does not have a memory.

Even the big layoff firms will have an easy time recruiting as long as they pay a lot and are even semi-decent places to work. After huge layoffs in 2001 and 2002, no one was every going to work for a Silicon Valley firm (WSGR, Cooley, etc.). By 2003 or 2004, the firms were all back recruiting high quality candiates.

43 here, I meant 42...sorry.

BREAKING

Did anyone catch the new Glee episode?

40, tyft

Faegre and Dorsey? Can we get back to talking about a relevant city?

Darn, SRZ is my best offer.

I would be thrilled to work at SRZ. To all of you pretentious 2L's, you should accept whatever you get.