Screw this. Chicago lost its Olympic host bid, probably because of Obama and his socialism.

Sucks, hope NYC wasn't too affected, staff there was always helpful, professional, etc. during my tenure. Best of luck.

When staffers sink 150k into their education and have debt to repay, then they will have a colorable argument that attys should be laid off contemporaneously with them. Until then....

JaKe Emeritus: I am a 2nd year administrative assistance at a large law firm. I work 60+ hour weeks and often do tasks far above my pay grade. You're an asshole for saying that administrative assistants are simply interchangeable; we provide valuable help for elitist lawyers like you.

This post is addressed to Commenter #5:

You are an interchangeable cog in the machine of Big Law, and I am its linchpin.

5

Bravo to you! I was laid-off from my job as a corporate legal secretary several months ago. I worked there for several years. I worked extremely hard, worked long hours, wasn't on the internet, and never took long lunches. I wanted the associates that I worked for to succeed... but...that wasn't enough.

My economic policies will save or create 4 million jobs. Unfortunately, that will still leave 146 million of you unemployed.

I'm Barack Obama?

PUSSY FART AND SHART. THERE IS NO BETTER COMBINATION!!

Secretaries are important. But I dunno... maybe they shouldn't be mentioned in a blog about BigLawyers.

Perhaps there should be a sister site to Abovethelaw. I suggest something like Underneath Above the Law, or Underneath Biglawyers. Just a thought.

Although not a peer firm, this is one hell of a bloodbath. I know from experience, dude.

5/7

Only retards take JE seriously. But, then again, you guys are administrative assistants.

Also, you only worked for 2 years? Geez, do it for at least 5 years before bragging about how tough your life is.

Oh no! You mean they cut them a check?

5 and 7:

I work in a biglaw firm. We had a JaKe E, son of one of our name partners. He was a supercilious asshole and the staff loathed him. His father finally retired, and about 10 minutes later, JaKe was booted to the curb. There was dancing in the streets. Sometimes there is a god.

First, who the hell sends a memo addressed to "All Hands"? Second, if business is picking up, allegedly, then why the need to cut staff now? Third, best of luck to the affected staff. I hope the Cooleys had the decency to at least give you a severance package.

I don't know what a "Cooley" is, but it sounds racist.

Why doe PE and JaKe still get irate ripostes directed at their characters? They are characters, people, and so over the top that no sane person could possible assume that their comments are sincere or sincerely articulated. Stop responding to them and their played out shtick will go away.

Best of luck to those laid off. Sucks to hit the street the day unemployment hits 9.8.

Good for a firm to be decisive and make a business decision. Uneven work leads to far worse than low numbers.

Commissar Obama's politburo has cooked the unemployment numbers to presently stand at 9.8%. Anyone with a functional brain knows that the real unemployment figure is about 18-19%. I am willing to bet that a majority of the Cooley staffers that were laid off voted for hope and change. Instead of wasting away in law school, perhaps some of you smart folks can go into engineering school, build a time machine and allow the Cooley staffers to go back to early November 2008 so that they may reconsider their foolish decision to fall for the "yes we can" slogan. In hindsight, "yes we can" is the correct answer to the question "Can we make the economy worse than it was under George W. Bush?"

Did ATL ever report on the somewhat recentish second round of Latham layoffs?

I can't believe what this guy Obama has done to us. I'm embarrassed that I voted for him. November 2010 is going to be a bloodbath for the Dems.

not cooley

Unfortunately, I have to agree with PE.

To 5 & 7: 6 (although a schtick) is right.

The ship be sinking...

Sympathies to those Cooley staffers who have lost their jobs -- and also to Cooley attorneys who have previously lost their positions through open or stealth layoffs. Good luck finding new jobs.

12: I worked for almost 9 years. I was an extremely loyal and dedicated employee. I did work for challenging personalities but that made the job more interesting. I felt sorry for the associates. They were treated horribly. I can't imagine being in their shoes.

Chicago got Lathamed by the IOC.

Whoa. The comments on this post explain a lot. It's not just lawyers and law students. Secretaries, too?

Oh... this is about a law FIRM named Cooley.

What an unfortunate (and coincidental?) name association with that garbage mill Cooley law SCHOOL.

Kind of like being named "Adolf" or "O.J."

Although I use the term "interchangeable cog" to demean secretaries' work, inferior pay, and inadequate education, it also quite accurate in describing the role of these serfs within a law firm. For example, anyone can shine my shoes and warm my coffee in the microwave. However, not everyone can successfully naviagte the myriad and complex legal issues surrounding a reverse takeover (which I can do and have done on several occasions).

If the realization that your job is replaceable makes you angry, then you should have been born into a family of obscene wealth and prestige.

I am pounding my staffer in her ass right now. All is right in this neck of the woods.

Godward Knish

It is a distinct pleasure to see JE and PE back at it.

Brinker Biddle Philadelphia down to 95K !

URGENT MESSAGE FOR JAKE EMERITUS -- PLEASE RESPOND!

Help, I need your advice!!! I just accepted an offer to summer at a preeminent peer firm -- or so I thought. I have now learned that the firm, though a peer firm, is not preeminent. What should I do? Should I hold out for a preeminent peer firm at 3L recruiting or is suicide my only option?

Thanks in advance!

This morning as my driver hit midtown traffic, I pondered many things about my life. For example, I never thought I would see the day where a favela town like Rio de Janeiro would beat out a metropolis like Chicago for an Olympics hosting bid. I also never thought I would see the day to see a president make Jimmy Carter look like a world class chief executive. Thank you Commissar Obama. You continue to add new experiences to my life.

Are you really allowed to have sexual relations with your secretary if its consensual?

Facebook Poll:

Should Chicagoans riot now that the obviously racist IOC has insulted Obama and rejected the city?

1. Yes
2. No
3. Maybe
4. Only if Elie leads with the first torch

As a former secretary, and now an attorney, I salute the hard work and spirit of secretaries. A poor secretary is every bit as offensive as a poor manager, but a good secretary -- diligent, hard-working, honest, and with a sense of humor -- adds immeasurably to any work environment.

This post is addressed to Commenter #34:

If you attend a preeminent peer law school, are currently ranked at the very top of your class, have a number of accomplishments (esteemed scholarships, law review), and come from a reverent pedigree with a family that posses obscene wealth, then yes, hold out for an offer at a preeminent peer law firm.

I just want to wish Justice Ginsburg good luck- we're all counting on her.

JE takes the cake today. His first day back. Probably had a business trip in Thailand.

37,

4!

Hope. Change.

Love Drudge's headline under a glum-looking BHO: The Ego Has Landed.

IOC = typical European snobbery, always out to teach America a lesson. (see also Nobel Prize Foundation). we'd all still be wearing wooden shoes if we did things the European way.

Kanye West and some other rapper are filming something in our reception area RIGHT NOW!!!!!

45--sour grapes.

I think Obama sensed that Chicago was a front-runner, and went there to pick up (and take credit for) what he expected to be an easy victory.

Now, instead, he looks like a chump.

I lie. Jobs die.

I AM Barack Obama.

I wouldn't put my faith and hope in President Obama. He doesn't have any power over businesses to hire or lay-off people. Businesses need consciences...but then they wouldn't be able to continue living their lavish lifestyles. It is easier to take advantage of existing workers by making them work harder, not giving them raises, etc.

Isn't that the new American way???

Kanye: "Yo yo Rio, I'mma let you goet back to your celebration in a minute, but Chicago had the best Olympic bid ever!"

47 -- no one gives a sh*t about the Olympics anymore. It's like the Worlds Fair. Drudge has been teeing this up for the last five days, and making it out lto be some huge Obama debacle. NO ONE cares. Really.

Chicago is the asshole of Canada.

Dallas attorney

Obama will bounce back. Chicago is a finalist to host the 2010 Cybercon Expo. This of course is the world's largest unoffical Transformers and toy convention dedicated to collectors of pop-culture. Get back on that horse and bring Oprah if you need support!

Now that Obama looks like a chump, will he say that the primary reason he went to Copenhagen was the meeting he had for 25 min., on the airport tarmac, with General McChrystal?

Glad Obama's priorities are straight.

@35:

Come on old man, your life will be over soon - you know this. You should simply enjoy the winter of your existence and not concern yourself over today's hopeless politics. Once, long time ago, your opinion may have been relevant. But those days are long gone.

Just look around you - people your age are the least relevant members of society. Sure, you may have amassed significant wealth in your time. But the only reason the younger generation cares is in hopes that you will die and pass on that wealth. Just ask your son Jake for his most sincere opinion on the matter. He doesn't seem to hold punches.

-fellow obscenely wealthy but oldie

51, did Obama and Oprah care about the Olympics?

The grapes must be really sour today. Had Chicago won the bid I don't think you'll be saying that nobody cares.

No offense, 52, but no one from Texas has the right to ridicule Chicago. Texas should be returned to Mexico post haste. What a festering, stinking sewer!

It was a terrible public relations decision for Obama to try to put his weight behind Chicago. I don't think Chicago's elimination can fairly be attributed to him (he may be a sitting president, but the IOC has its own agenda, and his control over them is limited), but plenty of people out there will treat it as a failure of his. And even people who know better but want a reason to dump on him will claim publicly that he failed. Plus, Chicago distracted him from the rest of his agenda and made it easier for critics to claim he was playing Chicago politics at the expense of the nation. The upside was limited, and there was substantial downside.

But in the end I don't think Obama gave Chicago a public boost with PR in mind. He probaly just owed some favors to people back home and couldn't say no. The real story should be how beholden Obama remains to the parochial interests and glorified thugs of Chicago politics.

Stinks like rancid Texass in here.

BOOM!

The US will get the 2020 Olympics. President Romney (with credentials as a sitting Presidnet and head of teh Salt Lake City games) will do what Obama couldn't.

@39 Thanks Jake. With my privileged credentials, outrageous family wealth and aristocratic connections, I am sure to receive an offer at a preeminent peer firm. (In the end, of course, my success is attributable only to sheer talent and hard work, for which I plan to reward myself this weekend with a ski holiday in Gstaad.)

I think it is pretty apparent now that JaKe Emeritus is LaTTT or MysTTTal.

Compared to PE, JaKe Emeritus is so TTT.

-PE

Dream on, 60. Romney couldn't even take out that old fuck McCain in the primaries.

why aren't there more posts about the bloodbath(s) coming this month?!?! the number of unemployed attorneys will double - mark it.

Dear 60,

I sure hope so! President Romeny has a track record of getting results, so I wouldn't be surprised.

#4: Please don't forget that a JD is not the only type of advanced degree out there. Many nonattorneys at law firms have graduate degrees: business development professionals and finance/accounting executives often hold MBAs, other admin may have Masters in their field -- marketing, HR, library science -- and even patent filers may have Masters or higher in scientific fields. Please also do not forget that there are many law school graduates who choose not to practice law. They often wind up in nonattorney positions with firms, in client development or internal communications. And then there are those who switch careers -- ex-teachers for example who hold advanced degrees but now work in a different industry. Whether an attorney or an admin, layoffs are layoffs. They suck for those getting laid off. Just remember that lawyers aren't the only ones with advanced degrees and debt from those degrees hanging over their heads.

Yup,

it is entirely Obama's fault that we did not get to host the Olympics. It was also his fault when we failed in our 2012 bid and no doubt it will be entirely his doing when we rednecks fail in our 2030 bid to host the olympics in Mobile, Alabama.

Our failure to win the bid has nothing to do with the fact that the rest of the world tends to view Americans as conceited assholes and even less to do with the fact that the muslim countries refused en bloc to vote for us. It was all Obama's fault and had we sent Glenn Beck/ Sarah Palin/ Piyush (who?) Jindal, Mittt Romney, Cheney and George Bush (either one) we would have had the Olympics served to us on a platter as the IOC committee would have been bowled over by their combined charm.

Ofcourse, they may also have had shoes thrown at them.

But let us not digress. It is that grandmother killing, racist, uneductaed, gun hating, marxist, foreigner who has cost us Americans the olympics.

What is worse is that since Beck and Limbaugh refuse to stand for president, since Jindal's "support base" don't know his first name, since palin is still enjoying the view from Russia as she sits on her unemployed arse and since Romney still does not know how he got his arse kicked by er...John McCain....we will lose the next one as well unless a right minded redneck..um real American stands up for us. Who wil it be? Who?

Unless you are directly responsible for bringing in clients, you are nothing more than a temp, and all temps eventually get replaced by technology or someone cheaper.

God 67, you suck.

Welcome to the real world.

I heard rumors the Cooley IP group left en masse. Can anyone confirm?

Has anyone heard about rumors that a bunch of lawyers left the new Cooley Boston office? How's that office doing?

More evidence of the debacle that is Cooley management. Between all the layoffs and partner departures, it sure looks like this firm is in trouble. For the next round of layoffs, I'd look no further than the incompetent management.

Hogan and Hartson is laying off 40 midlevels now. Why isn't there any coverage about this?

Ha, management at Cooley is neither talented nor do they care about the firm. They are basically running that place into the ground!

Going out on a limb here...

There will be more attorney layoffs at Cooley and more partners will jump off the sinking ship.

68 - you're soooooo deep!

39 - hope you don't REALLY look like this - yech!

70 - it's true

http://boston.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2009/09/14/daily5.html

I feel really bad about voting for Obama. I'm so disappointed that in 10 long months he's been unable to get us out of the worst recession in 70 years. I can't feel worse...actually I would feel a lot worse if he started, then half-assed two wars (costing trillions of dollars, by the way) then sat on his hands during the commencement of the worst recession in 70 years. I'm definitely voting Republican next election.

Up please. Mass 4th quarter layoffs coming to a law firm near you.........LMAO!!!!!

Cooley totally laid off first years yesterday but that's not in the memo of course

I think we can agree that accepting employment at Cooley out of law school holds a high probability of career suicide.

wow when a patent counseling group in a small office leaves, that's "the IP group leaving en masse"? jesus guys, get your facts straight.

81- what office?

shoddy outfit

81 - what on earth are you talking about

awwwww 79 - sorry you're disappointed - what a whiny little pissant - did you vote democratic because of how we got INTO 2 wars and because of bad loans/failing banks/corporate greed, etc.? Can we do anything else for you today?