Lawyers Who Are Okay With Burning One Down (Or: Pot and the Law)
Ben Harper says that “what’s from the earth is of the greatest worth.” Yesterday, ex-U.S. attorney John McKay weighed in on the marijuana debate, and said that “what’s from the earth” shouldn’t be illegal.
Instructing federal agencies to ignore congressional laws is not a fix, said McKay. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:
McKay faulted Congress for failing to take initiative on the issue. It is not the place of federal prosecutors or law officers to make policy, he said, nor should the White House go it alone.In the end, he argued, marijuana should not be lumped in with cocaine, methamphetamine and heroin as part of the war on drugs. Marijuana law, McKay said, “should look a lot more like alcohol (regulations) and a lot less like cocaine and methamphetamine (laws).”
Colorado’s attorney general agrees… when it comes to state coffers. AG John Suthers says it’s okay for his state to tax medical marijuana.
A recent Marie Claire article made us realize that this is not just a question of theoretical interest to some of you. Apparently, there are Biglaw types out there toking up! One 29-year-old corporate attorney told the magazine that pot is essential for relaxation after getting chewed out by a partner.
The article, Stiletto Stoners (an absurd title, according to Jezebel), investigates the trend of pot use by young, successful females, including Biglaw women:
Jennifer Pelham* kicks off her black Marc Jacobs pumps, slips out of her trim Theory blazer, and collapses on the couch. The 29-year-old corporate attorney for one of Manhattan’s top law firms has just clocked another 12-hour day, and though it’s over, she’s having a hard time shaking off her frustrations. (A partner had eviscerated the contract she’d drafted, then left before Pelham had a chance to explain herself.) Still distracted, Pelham orders dinner—sushi, as usual—then reaches for a plastic orange prescription bottle standing on the corner of her coffee table alongside a glass pipe and blue Bic lighter, just as the cleaning lady left them. She twists off the cap, pinches off a piece of the fragrant green bud inside, gingerly places it in the bowl of the pipe, and lights up. Over the next 30 minutes, she takes three deep drags, enough to drown out the noise whirring in her head. Then she eats.“I hate the term pothead—it connotes that I’m high 24/7, which I’m not,” Pelham says, wincing. “I don’t need it to get through my day. I just enjoy it when my day is over.”
Don’t waste your time googling Jennifer Pelham. It’s a made up name. We wonder: why make up a first and last name for someone? Why not just use a made-up first name and leave it at that? Journalism school has not provided us with an answer to that question.
Keep your stash to a moderate volume, “Pelham.” New York City is the marijuana arrest capital of the country, a fact highlighted by a recent article in New York Magazine. But it’s not illegal to possess small amounts:
The kicker in this is the apparently almost unknown fact that possession of 25 grams, or seven-eighths of an ounce—much more than the few joints that are getting people arrested—is not a crime in New York State and has not been since the passage of the Marijuana Reform Act of 1977, or 32 years ago. (Right here add sound of potheads slapping their foreheads, like, how come they didn’t know that?) There are exceptions, however. If the pot is “burning or open to public view,” then the 25-gram deal is off. It is this provision that has been the basis for the arrest outbreak, many civil libertarians contend.
“Pelham” defends her habit saying “every female attorney [she] knows has some vice or another.” At least Pelham’s is cheap, at just $50 a month.
We’re not surprised to hear that corporate attorneys are into drugs. We assumed though that they’d stick to the uppers, for long nights at the office drafting contracts that don’t get eviscerated by partners.
Ex-U.S. attorney: Time to change pot laws [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]
Colorado Moves to Tax Medical Marijuana [CBS News]
“Stiletto Stoners”: Marie Claire Investigates Shocking New Trend Of Female Potheads [Jezebel]
Female Stoners [Marie Claire]
The Splitting Image of Pot [New York Magazine]
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Zeroth
weed
Don't fear the reefer man
Why, every night I do this too - and then eat mysef a big 'ole cheesebugga!
"Apparently, there are Biglaw types out there toking up!"
lolz!
You know, there is some irony in the observation that if illegal drug dealers had a lobby, they would probably be doing all they could to prevent the legalization of marijuana.
END THE SCHTICKS !!!
Elie - Can we place a limit on acceptable schticks? I say once a week we vote a schtick off the island until we reach some arbitrary number like 14.
Certain schitcks are annoying but mainstays: Partner E.;
Others are annoying but possibly helpful: Restatement 90 folks;
Some are timely: the guillotine guy and Michael Ray; and
Others are pure classics: Frat Stud.
However, we have reached saturation and what the hell are the dudes from Spinal Tap and the Aflack duck doing on a legal board?!
Campaign to end the END THE SCHTICK campaign!
@7 - Did your parents sell you into white slavery or something? Why so serious?
that's right, 7, stick it to the schtick
"Apparently, there are Biglaw types out there toking up!"
ZOMG! I hear some of them even have teh buttsecks!!
Kash,
My love for you burns hotter than the smoldering hash embers in my golden hookah.
ShaFeef
7 has a schtick up his asch.
9, 10 - doing my part to bring actual humor back to the site.
8 - I applaud your efforts and hopefully I will become obsolete.
- 7
Jennifer Pelham= Elie Mystal
After a 12 hour workday= when he is supposed to be proofreading his posts
$50/month= $500/month
lawyers do performance enhancing drugs or drugs that give the illusion of performance enhancement. marijuana is not one of these.
You know, there is some irony in the observation that if annoying schticks had a lobby, they would probably be doing all they could to prevent the banning of schticks.
8,9,10,13 - Read 12 and tell me how that is remotely valuable.
Campaign to end my campaign is chuckle worthy but Shafeef -- really? Not everyone is funny, recognize that, and leave the jokes to those more talented.
No associate at "one of Manhattan’s top law firms" should assume his or her day is over after a measley 12 hours. One day she'll be called back to the office while she's high and then the firm will have a welcome "for cause" firing on its hands.
As an attorney who deals with a lot of morons on a daily basis (read: other attorneys), I'm still confused as to the audience here. The idiots who post things like "ZOMG! I hear some of them even have teh buttsecks!!" and "7 has a schtick up his asch." You guys are 1) not funny; 2) eerily similar to the dudes who would stalk girls in HS through chat rooms. Are you all 16 or what? I cannot believe you are actual adults.
Signed, a potsmoker who thinks you guys are fucking losers
20 - well said.
- 7 (not a pot smoker, but agrees with the rest of your comment)
@20 - You complete me.
Hitler
Campaign to end the Campaign to end the END THE SCHTICK campaign!
@19 - CHECK YOU EMAILS
Campaign to end the Campaign to end the Campaign to end the END THE SCHTICK campaign!
ShaFeef,
Hasem will take your manhood and your days as eunuch are about to begin. I can no longer look away from your blasphemous pursuit of the infidel temptress, Kash
Your Uncle,
The Prince
i eviscerated associates after a few rips on the bong in my office. bill u
@7 - Ummm you are an idiot... Iron Eagle was a good movie.
A quality post. I haven't really smoked weed since high school, but I would like to get back into it.
20 - I disagree. The shticks and comments are amusing for the most part, and is largely the reason I come back to this site.
22 FTW!
not 22
Hey 7, your whining and nitpicking demonstrates your need for heavy doses of sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Spark up and inhale, then exhale and relax. Repeat.
I pot the law and the law won.
Smoking pot is the one decent thing that lawyers have to do in life. Well, maybe fucking also falls into that category, so two decent things.
Can you stop the whole "Or: [quasi-subtitle]" gag? It's not clever; it's trite. If you want to make a subtitle, make a subtitle.
Algae laws were enacted to keep the Walrus down!
I hate that our profession is a draw for so many liberal arts majors that smoked too much in college like the O-bomb and Billy Clinton.
- Non-pothead attorney
I hate that our profession is a draw for so many liberal arts majors that smoked too much in college like the O-bomb and Billy Clinton.
- Non-pothead attorney
I oppose the legalization of marijuana. I do not think that’s the right plan for America. I also believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman.
I'm Barack Obama?
20, actually I'ma lawyer who also deals with morons on a daily basis, and I posted both of the comments you referenced.
I come here because I hate this joke of a "profession" (I'm only doing it now for the money, something I swore in more idealistic times I'd never be reduced to) and places like this provide me an outlet for my frustration. I make stupid jokes and occasionally get the gratification of being told by a total stranger that my remarks were mildly amusing, and sometimes I even amuse myself so much I'm able to temporarily forget that I wasted over 100k and the best of my twenties getting a degree that's virtually useless for anything I have any interest in doing. It also reminds me that I'm not some mindless automaton/paper monkey who's only good for the hours she can bill to a rich corporate client. I'm so much more than that -- I can also think up irreverent and occasionally amusing puns that I post for free so others can remark on them and then question my sexual proclivities!
If nothing else, better I vent my frustration here than yell at a client or partner, or go home and get in a fight with my fiance or kick our dogs. Who frankly could occasionally use a swift kick in the rear for pooping on the carpet. Damn security-deposit-eating pets...
Ill put it this way:
Got the volcano set to 365 and on my way to purple kush in a bag in a few seconds.
Rock on.
Why are white men so perverted?
Being an attorney would be intolerable without some herb after work. Legalize it. Woody Harrelson knows what's up.
39 ftw
Nice pun 36
39: You could get the same emotional fulfillment by taking a few good hits and talking to a dog.
39 needs to light one up
Congress will never legalize pot. The alcohol lobby has absolutely no desire to compete with a weed that can be mass produced by anyone with little effort. (Not to mention the timber and pharmaceutical industries.)
What else are deferred associates supposed to do with all their free time?
40 - I'll have to wait until I get a biglaw salary before I can buy a volcano.
26 i giggled a li'l
As long as there is a campaign to end schticks, can the "Why do black people do this" and "Why do white men do that" be included? Neither comment is appropriate on this board, or for that matter, on any board.
all drugs should be legalized. if i want to put something into my body, i should be able to do so. not to mention how much better things would be if drug crime was eliminated.
Is marijuana a friable issue of fact?
39... relax. You need to light up.
Pot will never be legal, but enforcement of current laws will stop state by state over the next few decades.
A well-fitting suit, or--in this situation--a highly paid job, can provide a comfortable buffer between one and the law.
Shouldn't she have waited until 4:20 to post this?
@39. You're not alone. Sad how similar our lives are.
From TYC:
Simple choice.
You can argue the pro and con points all day long and you will still be left with the fact that either the drug gangs or the gov't will distribute cannabis. You can talk about messages, children, age appropriate access, the law is the law, what part about illegal don't you understand, addiction, family problems, etc...but the bottom line is that cannabis will be distributed...either by the drug gangs or the gov't...but someone will distribute cannabis. People want it. That's how cannabis became the largest cash crop in 14 states. All under the noses of the police, dea, cia, border patrol, and (insert laugh here) GED educated homeland security personnel (seriously, that's all they require...a GED, scary).
Like the system currently in place? Then the drug gangs get to distribute. Want something different? Then the gov't gets to distribute. Cannabis will be distributed. Who do you want to do it? I say keep the drug gangs out, legalize, regulate, and collect taxes.
See? Simple.
Humos del bosque!!!
So, not one poster has really addressed the issue at hand...and that issue isn't even clear from the original post. Was the writer stoned?
I say, legalize it. Too many resources are being wasted on this. Bust drunk drivers and crack dealers and leave the casual users alone.
http://harpers.org/archive/2009/11/hbc-90006092
I called Stone and he tells me that his firm offers “strategic advisory” services and that Gulnara is “trying to position herself as a patron of the arts.” He asked if I was interested in going and I said I was not. I asked if he didn’t think it was unethical for journalists to accept an offer of money and travel to a place like Uzbekistan, especially when it was clearly expected that nothing unfavorable would be written. “I guess it would depend on whether the blogger was a journalist or not,” he said. “Travel writers get paid to go to places all the time.”
Stone would not disclose which bloggers were going on the junket but he told me that he had approached Abovethelaw.com and suggested strongly that a blogger there had agreed to go on the Uzbek trip. However, he refused to answer a direct question about that.
I emailed the blog’s editor, Elie Mystal, and associate editor, Kashmir Hill, to see if they could clarify the matter. They have not yet replied to my email; if they do, I’ll update this post immediately.
Update: Hill emailed back now to say: “This comes as news to me. i don’t know anything about it.”
Managing editor David Lat says: “As far as I know, neither I nor anyone at Above the Law is going to Uzbekistan!”
So the list of junketeers remains entirely unknown.
I'm sure I would take offense at 7's inane post if I weren't so heavily sedated.
A certain you agitator, we'll call her Lisa S - scratch that - L. Simpson...
A certain young agitator, we'll call her Lisa S. - scratch that- L. Simpson...
It's 6:23 - time to take a break and hit the solopipe outside my downtown Chi office.
it's 4:20, losers. bill u.
nobody managed to post exactly at 4:20. so sad. :(
I've certainly blacked out on alcohol and done a few things I wish I never had. Getting high on the other hand...worst things I've done is down a Nacho Bel Grandre and watch an episode of South Park laughing more than I'd like to admit.
Ganja FTW
Smoking weed and being in Big Law can be complicated.
I had one rule when it came to pot, and it was to never smoke with a coworker. I thought it would be a bad idea to let anyone at the firm know I smoke.
Naturally after a few years I got comfortable around a few coworkers, and I might have let it slip that I indulge in the crop every once in a while. Soon I was smoking semi-regularly with a couple co-workers.
The other day we went back to my apartment after a team dinner and were sitting around playing wii and smoking pot, and one of the 6th years called and asked what we were doing. One of my stupid coworkers asked her to come over. I was like WTF?
I started to put away all the paraphrenalia, but my smoking buddies said I was being paranoid. So I just tucked the bong and lighter under the coffee table. The place smelled to high hell anyways.
Anyway, long story long, stupid bitch 6th year brought up our weed smoking to partners when we were out drinking a couple weeks later. Not in a malicious way, but now its all over the firm that we three are "420 everyday, get high" motherfuckers.
Fucking fail. My firm is conservative as hell. People try to pretend like they are all "cool", but fuck that. Its a permanent scar against us. There's no way these Old Man Cruthers type partners are gonna look at us the same way as before.
My advice. Never ever ever ever smoke with a coworker.
Just billed 9.5, now I'm home roasting a bone. Aww, yeah.
since i'm the boss man, i don't give a rat's ass who knows when, where, why, and how i get toasty. bill u
anyway it's cali and i have a doctor's recommendation.
@37: You're an idiot. Your hero, GW Bush had a nice liking for the nose candy, asshole.
I am a mid-level, biglaw associate, who bills 2,100 hours a year, is loved by the partners, and smokes a bowl almost every night.
End of argument?
I smoked a bowl on the morning of the MBE... was baked for a good part of the morning session. Passed first try.
7--Totally agree. Spinal Tap schtick would be ok with me if it was EVER clever or funny. It isn't. Just one or two d-bag(s) rehashing jokes from the movie w/out any original twist or extension.
74, David and I really don't give a shit what you think either and won't let it afffect our performances. Poets like ourselves are usually misunderstood, though we do have our fans.
Dooode
Does anyone have any advice on good grow soil for my awesome seeds. I will send you a nug of funky monkey.
Hey....this isn;t a weed forum
I hate lawyers
I need some coffee
@39
You need to come home and light up a doobie
where is partner emeritus? too high to post today?
All I know is that when my 12 hour day at a big law firm is over I too will be taking a nice toke out of a gigantic bong. All medical, of course.
75--Ha ha. Michael McKeon and Christopher Guest were pretentious, stoned dumbasses who fancied themselves poets and great musicians but weren't. And your schtick is of two guys who are pretentious, stoned dumbasses who fancy themselves poets and great musicians! Ha ha.
79 needs a bong hit and a sense of humor
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