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My Job Is Murder: Of Confinement and Contracts

Monday, November 9, 2009 2:32 PM - By Susanna Dokupil

My Job Is Murder.jpgEd. note: Welcome to ATL’s first foray into serial fiction. “My Job Is Murder,” a mystery set in a D.C. appellate boutique firm, will appear one chapter at a time, M-W-F, over the next few weeks.

The author, a former appellate lawyer, wishes to emphasize that any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Except for the geeky stuff. Appellate lawyers really are that geeky.

Susanna Dokupil can be reached by email at sdokupil@sbcglobal.net or on Facebook.

Tyler got onto the elevator and pressed the button marked 13. As the doors closed, he looked down at the golden manacles that signified his position as an associate. He must survive the tower another day, he thought. Only 657 more days until he paid off his student loans — that is, if he stuck to his budget. Until then, Tyler must serve out his apprenticeship as a squire to the knights of the realm, ensuring that the knights had the proper weapons for jousting with opposing counsel.

He reached his sparsely furnished cell in the law offices of MakoProphet, a D.C. appellate boutique, and turned on his +6 vorpal laptop. Tyler had a tendency to let his imagination wander. He scored high on Intelligence and Dexterity, but less so on Strength and Charisma. Tyler had spent — or rather misspent — the better portion of his youth immersed in fantasy fiction, various strategy games, SimWhatever, or some combination of the above. He tended to view the world in game terms. It helped him break down the complexities of real-life interactions into understandable bits to compensate for his obvious lack of social skills.

Tyler’s voicemail light was blinking. It was a message from his secretary, Jill. The firm’s travel office wanted him to fly from D.C. to New York through Cleveland in order to use some preferred airline. He imagined Jill talking to Patty and Selma from The Simpsons. Class: Bureaucrat. Level: Five. Hit Points: About a million. Bureaucrats were generally impossible to kill and not worth the effort. Better to work around them. He had his secretary research alternatives.

He checked his quest calendar. His team’s next brief was due in three weeks before the Fifteenth Circuit. Carol, the lead partner, represented a construction company in a suit against a supplier of copper pipe for breach of contract. They had won in the trial court. Tyler sighed. Only 657 more days until he could afford to pursue a career in academia.

He opened the record to where he had left off. Pages and pages of business records reminded him why he had majored in classics rather than accounting, but he rather wished at this moment that he had more than a passing acquaintance with a balance sheet. Assets equal … he racked his brain … liabilities plus owners’ equity? Yes, he was pretty sure that was it — the totals matched at the bottom. Tyler sighed again. Thankfully, his portion of the brief did not focus on calculating the damages.

A tap on the door frame startled him. It was Mark from down the hall. Class: Associate. Level: Three. Alignment: Lawful Neutral. Experience Points: About 2700/year, very respectable. Higher Charisma than Tyler’s.

Apparently Mark desired his presence at some sort of recruiting lunch. Tyler hated recruiting lunches, as they tended to require small talk. Tyler hated small talk, as it tended to require knowledge of sports, movies, reality TV shows, the love interests of celebrities, and other such plebian matters that he considered rather beneath his intelligence to follow. But, as Tyler hated appearing ignorant even more than he hated small talk, he quickly visited several local news sites to see how the city’s teams were doing, which movies were coming out this week, and the latest on the current financial crisis.
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Susanna Dokupil is a former appellate lawyer who abandoned regular employment in favor of raising four kids. She can be reached by email at sdokupil@sbcglobal.net or on Facebook.

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