Phew, now that I got that out of the way, I'd like to offer this thought. Elie and Kash are like a brother and sister to us. With Elie, we talk smack about him when he's around, but if it looks like he's in real trouble (e.g., fired) we rally to his defense. With Kash, we want her to succeed, but we'd also like to catch a glimpse of her naked on the way to the bathroom.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Oh, and just to be relevant to the post--regarding the pardon of the turkey, that is total bullsh1t. Does anyone think they're going to eat one fewer turkey at the White House as a result of the pardon? No. Some other turkey is going to get his head chopped off so the pardoned one can go free. Tale of Two Turkeys.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and turkey."

(Three cheers for gay marriage!)

Is everyone else on the road right now? Am I talking to myself? If a duck quacks in a pond, and no one is around to hear him, is he really a duck?

"I'm all for increasing diversity on the Supreme Court, but this is ridiculous!"

You know, between you and me, the Fed Chair post might become available if you're interested. The current guy is a turk... I mean... well, he's just not working out. Look, I'm just saying, if you're interested... you have my number?

7 = bad rip-off of 6.

- Not 6

6 = racist.

Implying that Justice Sotomayor is sub-human. Very offensive.

Obama greets Timothy Geithner's new means of regulating the banking industry with enthusiasm.

"I swear we're on the same team, Ms. Pelosi; please try and calm down..."

And then Kurt Greenbaum tracked down Dave Hackbart's employer, and informed him of the situation. Dave Hackbart lost his job, but at least he has a $10,000 severance (minus fines paid). Kurt Greenbaum is mildly pleased with himself over the situation and blogs about his wonderful actions.

The End.

9 - not true. Justice Sotomayor is an accomplished jurist, known for her empathy and uniquely flavored kisses. The judge in the picture is just ... EL POLLO LOCO!!!!!!!!!!

- 6

"I'd bow, but the Press is really getting on me for that these days."

"The loan carried an initial adjustable interest rate of 10.375 percent, which soared to 12.375 percent."

Right, that whopping TWO PERCENT increase is what did this fucking maggot in. Goddamn swine.

O Turkey of Courage, having proved yourself this day in glorious and terrible combat and by my authority as "The One" I hereby dub thee Vice President of the United States.

hand it to 6 and move on folks

2, you're mistaken. While I think many of us would like to see Kash come like a belt-fed mortar, I hope that none of us have similar feelings with respect to our sister(s).

And ShaFeef, I'd dismember you with your own scimitar, so don't even start.

7 - hilarious!

14, I'll laugh for hours on that.

The comments are materially less amusing now that we're down to basically one schtick left--that fucking duck.

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future" -Nobel Peace Prize Committee

huh, 21? 18's plenty funny for the whole thread.

Duck for President!

"After the uproar of his bow to Emperor Akihito, President Obama opted to high five the ambassador of Turkey."

Caption: "I absolve you for being White."

Sorry Corrected Caption: "I absolve you for being White. No need to kill the White privilege from you."

26

"I hereby pardon you for your assault on that health care town hall protestor in Missouri."

"Kash [is like a] sister to us... we want her to succeed, but we'd also like to catch a glimpse of her naked on the way to the bathroom." - Like a Duck in a Noose

Dear Duck,

I don't know what kind of weird incestuous stuff ducks in a noose are into, but I seriously doubt most people want to see their sisters naked.

"Jesus performs a non-controversial blessing while his imbecile followers laugh with glee, and the rest of the country falls to shit."

Just like my campaign promises and speeches, this is just for the cameras. When no one is looking, I'm killing you myself.

"I would hope that a wise Latina turkey with the richness and tenderness of her thighs and breasts would more often than not make a better feast than a white turkey who hasn’t lived that life . . . .”

"Wait a minute... wait a minute... hold on. I thought lobsters came out of Kash's ass?!"

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck.

"And with this pardon I have saved or created four turkeys..."

In a sign of how far the pro gay agenda has come, only the woman is checking out the hot blond on the left.

Caption: "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

30-

Humor fail.

"Sorry, turkey. It's all Bush's fault."

"After President Obama administered the Oath of Enlistment, the turkey was promptly deployed to Afghanistan as part of the President's recently released plan to reduce troop levels"

"Obama exonerates a turkey named 'Courage.'"

Live long and prosper.

Sensing a unique opportunity, Obama also named it the new holiday czar.

"You're safe, Turkey. I prefer fried chicken."

"and, I also prefer creamy potatoes, green peas and carrots, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie."

He's laying on hands and BEHOLD! The turkey is SAVED! He is THE ONE!! He is THE ONE!!!

36 FTW

who is partner emeritus?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
does anyone know?

"I Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear that I will execute..... the office of president to the United States faithfully..."

48 - A law student at a New York area school.

I heard he took a deep bow when meeting the turkey.

26, 31, 35 are easily top three.

"We've come a long way since Ronald and Nancy used turkey giblets and bones to decide foreign policy decisions."

By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and turkey. You may kiss the fowl.

"He was about to bow before Gibbs explained to him that it was not a sultan of Turkey, but an actual Turkey" (I bow down to all muslim leaders, he thought to himself)

Okay, so I don't have a sister. I was imagining

At least no one disagreed about my remark about Elie as brother!

It might be like that joke where Bush announces, "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqi's and one blonde." A guy asks in astonishment, "Why are you killing one blonde?" President Bush turns to Colin Powell and says, "See, I told you people wouldn't care about the Iraqi's."

This is some good stuff guys. You can notice criticism of Obama from both sides, which just makes me believe that he is losing the country and will continue falling in popularity and become totally impotent pretty soon. Wait until he starts raising taxes on his rich liberal allies - who are already suffering in this economy.

As for the guy who flipped off a cop, I have a pretty similar story. The whole thing is classifed. I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you. That said, I'll tell it anyway. It all started when this cop jumped me and my budy. See, we tarted up on his 6, when he pulled from the clouds, and then I moved in above him. I could see him though, because I was inverted. That's right, I was in a 4g inverted dive with a MiG28 at about two meters. My buddy, Goose, swears it was actually about one and a half. He's got a great Polaroid of it, and he's right there, must be one and a half.

Lt. Pete Mitchell, Ret. (now driving big rigs after going to that truck driving school).

FIRST!

and now watch as for my next trick, i turn him back into glenn beck.

Republican nostalgia: for one day the White House is again inhabited by a creature as intelligent as Bush.

At the last minute, the GOP leadership decides that Sarah Palin may not be the best representative to articulate the party's concerns over universal healthcare.

As the birther movement dwindles, conservative intellectals suddenly see an opportunity for a new distraction, and on November 25, 2009 the hatcher movement is born.

OK, OK, OK, Guantanamo fail, Afghanistan fail, health care fail, economy fail ... but I WILL pardon this turkey by tomorrow! (moments later, the turkey disappears, and obviously was never pardoned). Turkey fail.

Obama-Wan Kenobi: These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Storm-Turkey: These aren't the droids we're looking for.

"You will be covered under my universal health care plan."

I, the Messiah, bless you in the name of of Marxism, Communism, and the spirit of Socialism.

Apparently Ted Kennedy has been reincarnated with white feathers and retains sufficient stature to extract favors from the party machinery.

We've run out of geese, but here's hoping turkeys lay golden eggs, Mr. President.

"These are not the droids you are looking for"

"Aflac."

"After 7 awkward minutes, Obama finally accepted his staffers' insistence that the turkey NOT going to return a high-five."

"After 7 awkward minutes, Obama finally accepted his staffers' insistence that the turkey was NOT going to return a high-five."

"AFLAC!!!!"

"Despite not being on the guest list, Courage managed to slip by secret service to attend the state dinner in hopes of launching a reality TV career."

"Your will be tried in a civilian court."

Bless thee, o turkey, o symbol of plenty
In these these times of need, we thank thee o turkey for showering my administration with plenty
:
Plenty of taxes
Plenty of government instrusion in people's lives
Plenty of corruption
Plenty of incompetence and
Plenty of socialism

I now bless thee in the name the One, the Chosen One, and the Holy Spirit of Communism. Forever and ever.

Go now to oppress and harass the taxpayer.

"Obama pardons a turkey named 'George Bush'".

Dick Cheney's new attorney visits the White House.

"YOU'LL FRY!!!:

"Obama pardons George Bush".

Obama deems turkey "delicious mouthaf%&#$@"

65 & 70...gj copying 37

"Texas attorney Harry Whittington finally receives justice for having been shot in the face as Obama transforms Dick Cheney into a Thanksgiving turkey."