I don’t know anything about My Community Legal Network. Its website tells us this:
Introduced in 2009, My Community Legal Network scoured through millions of legal and financial professionals looking for the most knowledgeable and sophisticated providers. Then we took the collective bargaining power that comes from millions of Americans and negotiated wholesale prices from these top professionals. We take these discounted rates and offer them directly to our members. There is no markup; only the best professionals at the best prices. My Community Legal Network currently only offers services in the United States but has plans to expand these services to Canada, Mexico, and South America by the end of 2010.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Based on that description, I suppose the picture after the jump will make more horrifying sense.
Continue reading “The Wal-Mart of Law Firms Might Be Wal-Mart”
Ed. note: Welcome to ATL’s first foray into serial fiction. “My Job Is Murder,” a mystery set in a D.C. appellate boutique, will appear one chapter at a time, M-W-F, over the next few weeks. Prior installments appear here; please read them first.
The author, a former appellate lawyer, wishes to emphasize that any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Except for the geeky stuff. Appellate lawyers really are that geeky.
Susanna Dokupil can be reached by email at sdokupil@sbcglobal.net or on Facebook.
Back at the office, Tyler reached for his case file. A yellow Post-It note on top read “Drinks at 5 p.m. Solstice. K.”
Tyler instantly e-mailed Katarina one word: Yes.
Then he noticed an e-mail from the managing partner announcing cuts in the recruiting budget. No reimbursements for associate lunches with summers. The firm has, however, negotiated a deal with Solstice such that all recruiting meals eaten there and paid for by corporate credit card are still fully reimbursable up to $7.00 per person. Tyler groaned audibly. Having to eat well-presented-yet-unflavored food every day was his personal hell.
An e-mail from Katarina appeared! His heart pounded as he read her reply: “?” He read it again and mentally administered severe self-flagellation for a divination attempt gone badly awry! Tyler wished vainly for a time reversal spell to recall that e-mail. Seeing none, he instead replied, “What is the answer to which the question is ‘dinner tonight?’” He crossed his fingers.
Continue reading “My Job Is Murder: Of Fainting and Failing”
The Supreme Court decided it wants no part of the Redskins case, and Quinn remains victorious over Native American activists who want to change the team’s racially charged moniker. The WSJ Law blog reports:
The Redskins on Monday got a bit of good news from the U.S. Supreme Court, which declined cert filed by Native American activists who claim the Redskins’ team name is so offensive that it does not deserve trademark protection. The ruling essentially lets stand a lower court ruling that the activists waited too long to bring the challenge.
Mmmm … laches.
Regular Above the Law readers know that this case sparked some internal controversy at Quinn Emanuel when a then-associate at the firm took offense to Robert Raskopf’s celebratory lower court victory email.
The associate argued that Quinn was on the wrong side of history, but it appears the firm is on the right side of the law.
Continue reading “Eeek: SCOTUS Denies Cert in Redskins Case”
Portland, Tennessee high school math teach Sandy Binkley was convicted of statutory rape back in September. The 37-year-old woman had sex with a 17-year-old student in a locker room.
Binkley argued that the 17-year-old student raped her. She gave an interview to Tennessee News Channel 5 before her trial:
“There was one incident with one student – who was a month away from being 18. He was bigger than me and he forced himself on me,” said Binkley. “He came into the room and forced himself upon me.”
The jury didn’t buy it.
On Friday, Binkley was sentenced. And man, the judge essentially put her behind bars and threw away the key. The Tennessean reports:
A former Portland High School teacher convicted of having sex with her underage teacher’s aide has been sentenced to 12 years in prison.
District Attorney Ray Whitley said Sandy Binkley “got what she had coming to her.”
“(Judge Dee Gay) gave her the maximum sentence and that’s what she deserved,” Whitley said.
The woman got 12 years — the maximum sentence — for having sex with a 17-year-old? Really? Does that make sense to everybody here?
Binkley’s lawyers (obviously) feel the judge went a little overboard. Details after the jump.
Continue reading “Teacher of the Day: Judge Throws Book at 37-Year-Old Teacher/Statutory Rapist”
A Biglaw traveler checked in with us from Minnesota airport:
I almost spat out my Caribou Coffee when I saw this ad next to my gate. Apologies for the pic quality–a little blurry from combination of crappy phone pic and shaky hands from said latte.
Here’s said ad:
Which firm is breaking down its lawyers’ nutritional value?
Continue reading “Adventures in Lawyer Advertising: 100% Lean”
Many law firms have figured out that the best way to stop the spread of swine flu is to have their sick people stay home from work. Last week, we mentioned that Akerman Senterfitt had explicitly told its associates that staying home because of swine flu would not count against their vacation time.
The stay home message has also gone out at K&L Gates. But apparently one associate didn’t get the memo and showed up to work despite having flu-like symptoms. The associate was eventually diagnosed with the H1N1 virus.
The associate drew the ire of K&L Gates managing partner Peter Kalis. All associates at K&L Gates then received a blistering email from the managing partner.
Continue reading “Peter Kalis Wants K&L Gates Associates To Show Common Sense”
That’s the most shocking revelation in an interesting New York Times profile of H. Rodgin Cohen, the nation’s top banking M&A lawyer and chairman of the venerable Sullivan & Cromwell. From the NYT:
After [Cohen and his wife Barbara] had paid their [restaurant] check, they went to fetch the car, and Mr. Cohen, a Boston fan since his days at Harvard Law, glanced down at his BlackBerry to check on the Red Sox. He drives a Subaru, a humble ride for a man who earned millions last year arranging shotgun weddings for the busted firms of Wall Street, and standing next to Barbara in the darkness, Rodge Cohen, a titan of the banking bar, struggled with his automated key, initially unable to — woop woop woop — release the lock.
Unlocking car doors by remote control — where’s a good associate when you need one?
Now, in re Subarus, we have nothing against them; they are fine cars. Some of our best friends drive Subarus. One of our co-clerks — a member of the Elect, no less — drives a Subaru Forester. The judge for whom we clerked — Judge Diarmuid O’Scannlain (9th Cir.), a top feeder judge — used to drive a purple Subaru (affectionately nicknamed “Grimace” by his clerks).
But as we know from the judicial pay controversy, federal judges don’t get compensated like partners at Sullivan & Cromwell. And Cohen is no ordinary S&C partner — he’s the chairman of the firm and its top rainmaker, generating tens of millions in business every year. A Subaru is shockingly downmarket for him. We realize that true wealth doesn’t have to advertise itself, and six-figure cars are for the nouveau riche, but this still seems a tad extreme.
More to the point, why is Rodge Cohen even driving himself? Wouldn’t it be more efficient for him to have a chauffeur-driven Maybach — john quinn, holla — so he can spend every waking minute on the phone, negotiating billion-dollar bank mergers? Isn’t it a waste of the brilliant Cohen’s brain cells to have him paying attention to yield signs when he could instead be thinking about yield curves?
More tidbits from the Rodge Cohen profile, along with commentary, after the jump.
Continue reading “Breaking: Rodge Cohen Drives a Subaru!”
* The Wall Street Journal digs into the Scott Rothstein scandal. “The Rothstein story is also a quintessential tale of the Sunshine State, where wealthy retirees and other well-heeled investors have been known to chase outsize returns while ignoring myriad warning signs.” [Wall Street Journal (subscription) and WSJ Law Blog]
* How do you defend the Fort Hood killer? [New York Times]
* The 9/11 mastermind, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, and four alleged accomplices will stand trial in New York. Congress isn’t happy about it. [Newsday]
* …Rick Ungar defends the justice system against the congressional attack. [True/Slant]
* Trying to be a legal entrepreneur? There’s a school for that. [Brisbane Times]
* A pair of California lawyers wrote a law and then made lots of money off of it. [Associated Press]
* New York AG Andrew Cuomo will make a run for governor. [New York Post]
* Confirmation for Obama’s judicial nominees is moving at a snail’s pace. [Los Angeles Times]
Ed. note: Above the Law has teamed up with Law Shucks, which has done excellent work translating all of the layoff news into user-friendly charts and graphs: the Layoff Tracker.
This week, economists missed on the good side — initial jobless claims fell by more than expected. The 502,000 applicants are the fewest since January 3, and the four-month rolling average is at the lowest level since November 2008.
It’s tough to grasp half a million people filing for first-time benefits as good news, but these are troubled times, so we have to cheer where we can. Don’t get too excited, though. Even news that looks good at first glance probably isn’t. The 139,000 people who came off the continuing-claims roster more likely did so as a result of benefits running out or giving up the search than actually finding work.
But don’t be surprised if that number starts creeping back up. A bill was passed last week that will extend benefits by 14 weeks in all states, and six additional weeks in states where the unemployment rate is greater than 8.5%.
All in all, it was a relatively good week in BigLaw, with no layoffs reported. Nonetheless, firms continue to flail about trying to fix their economic models, and we document the efforts after the jump.
Continue reading “This Week in Layoffs: 11.14.09″
* What does it take to legally disturb a grizzly bear in San Francisco? [Lowering the Bar]
* Apparently, some people thought I was defending the Columbia professor who punched out a woman. I was not. [True/Slant]
* The benefits of being a Twitter snob. [Simple Justice]
* Is there enough political balance at law schools? [Blackbook Legal]
* Church ordered to stop being so goddamn nice. [Bad Lawyer]
* Thanks to Ropes & Gray, firms are taking another look at their security measures. [Bloomberg]
* Strippers. In a glass box. On the back of a truck! We’re about to develop a whole new meaning for the term “rubber necking.” [Legally Unbound]
* Don’t forget to vote in this weekend’s caption contest. [Above the Law]
Both California and Texas are thinking about officially deep-sixing sex between lawyers and their clients.
The California State Bar Association is considering a change to the professional rules of conduct to “prohibit sex with clients unless they are spouses or the relations preceded the lawyer-client relationship,” according to The Recorder. The Texas Supreme Court is suggesting the same type of thing in the Lone Star state, according to the Texas Lawyer.
The American Bar Association generally frowns on lawyers getting into their clients’ briefs. The argument against taking discovery to the bedroom is that sexy time undermines an attorney’s ability to give objective advice and to keep his or her interest from limiting that of the client.
On the other hand, regulating bed behavior potentially violates a lawyer’s privacy and the right to freedom of association.
ATL readers, we turn the debate over to you. Is it okay for lawyers to be their clients’ master debaters and masturbators? Moving beyond the theoretical, how many of you have actually had to grapple with this? Take our polls and hear some stories, after the jump.
Continue reading “Should Lawyers Be Banned From Having Sex With Their Clients?”
LEWW was recently hospitalized for a series of events that resulted in the birth of an actual human being for which we are now responsible. We’ll be taking a brief hiatus from our Legal Eagle Wedding-Watching duties while we adjust to life with this screaming, pooping bundle of adorableness.
The Lat/Mystal regime is far less generous with maternity leave than Biglaw, so we won’t be gone for anything approaching 18 weeks. And we’ll be keeping track of the weddings that occur while we’re away, so don’t think you can escape our attention by getting married now. We’ll catch up with everything upon our return.
I like it when judges show a sense of humor. It gives me metaphysical joy when judges refuse to act like legal automatons, and it makes my job easier.
Hennepin County District Judge Stephen Aldrich is a man who understands that court proceedings need not be devoid of the occasional one-liner:
Three weeks ago in family court, reviewing a domestic violence order for protection, a transcript shows Judge Aldrich telling the husband and wife, “I’ve been married 45 years. We’ve never considered divorce, a few times murder, maybe.”
As Chris Rock says, you haven’t been in love unless you’ve considered killing your spouse “and the only thing that stops you is an episode of CSI.”
I think Judge Aldrich should be applauded for his humor. But we live in America, the land of perpetually bunched panties. So it’s not so surprising that some people are calling for Judge Aldrich to resign.
Details after the jump.
Continue reading “Judge of the Day: Minnesota Judge Brings The Funny”
On Wednesday, we told you that the Association of Corporate Counsel was ranking law firms based on evaluations from its members. We also told you that some law firm partners were very concerned about this list.
We have the list.
The ACC Value Index currently has responses for 448 law firms — big and small, big city and secondary markets. Sadly, the vast majority of the firms have very few responses. Apparently corporate counsels have better things to do than rank the quality of legal services they receive. Most firms — including some of the bigger names, like Cravath and Sullivan & Cromwell — have three or fewer responses.
But some firms have generated more reviews. Which firms from the Am Law 200 are in the top ten and bottom ten of the ACC rankings?
Continue reading “The Association of Corporate Counsel Rankings”
Ed. note: Welcome to ATL’s first foray into serial fiction. “My Job Is Murder,” a mystery set in a D.C. appellate boutique firm, will appear one chapter at a time, M-W-F, over the next few weeks. Prior installments appear here; please read them first.
The author, a former appellate lawyer, wishes to emphasize that any resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Except for the geeky stuff. Appellate lawyers really are that geeky.
Susanna Dokupil can be reached by email at sdokupil@sbcglobal.net or on Facebook.
The waiter’s arrival with their food gave him a few moments reprieve. Mark and Alex had cheeseburgers with dill havarti and fries served in a tall silver cone with a trio of condiments: ketchup, barbeque, and honey mustard. Katarina had a chicken caesar, but with the chicken strips stacked like Lincoln Logs. What nonsense, thought Tyler. Then his pepperoni pizza arrived — in five small round pizzettes stacked vertically at one-inch intervals on a braced skewer.
“Leaning Tower of Pizza, get it?” the waiter asked. Katarina laughed. Tyler was not amused, however, as he now had to eat this edible architectural marvel politely in front of his co-workers.
As Tyler mentally debated the question of hands v. utensils, Spencer walked up with his own lunch entourage. Class: New Partner. Intelligence: High. Top of his class at University of Virginia. Charisma: average. Alignment: Hard work. Spencer had no time for alignments. He was too busy billing. Experience Points: ~3500? Spencer had been a rising star since the day he set foot in the firm as a summer associate, and no one was surprised when he made partner the first year he was up.
Spencer skipped the usual round of introductions and went straight to Mark. “Veronica’s suing the firm,” he said grimly.
Veronica, Tyler knew, was an associate who had recently lateraled to another firm after learning she was unlikely to make partner. Standards were higher in this economy. Class: 7. Experience points: 2200/yr, but low Intelligence. Charisma: Above average. She wasn’t Tyler’s type, but he knew her reputation among the firm’s bachelors.
“What, she didn’t make partner because she’s a woman?” asked Mark.
“No, she’d never make that shtick. Sexual harassment. By Dick Schlosh.” said Spencer.
Continue reading “My Job Is Murder: Of Lunch and Lawsuits”
New Mexico law professor Erik Gerding started off an interesting discussion in the blogosphere with his post, Death of “Big Law School’?, on the Conglomerate.
Ashby Jones at the WSJ Law Blog and Larry Ribstein at Ideoblog have already weighed in.
Gerding’s central thesis is that problems with the Biglaw business model will have major effects on the law school business model:
It would likely mean the end of the law school boom – with its expanding law faculties and the bumper crop of new law schools. Like it or not, the business model (I hate applying that term to legal education, but can’t think of another one) of many law schools is heavily dependent on students getting high paying law firm jobs to pay off high law school tuition. Law firms are also prime benefactors of law school endowments. Without corporate law consuming law school graduates by the dozens, law school will face massive economic pressure.
You’d like to think that. But there is only one way to exert massive economic pressure on law schools, and it is not happening yet.
Continue reading “The “Biglaw School” Model”
I understand that “most depressing job posting” is a strong statement. The job market is awful and I’m sure that there are terrible listings that I have not seen. But I stand by my headline. As of Friday the 13th, November 2009, this is the most depressing “legal” job that I’ve seen offered to qualified law students.
From the UT Law career services offices:
Employer: The Ansari Law Firm
Title: Legal Assistant/Nanny
That’s right UT law students. You are now being offered a job that you were probably qualified to perform when you were fifteen years old.
Reactions and the full job listing after the jump.
Continue reading “UT Law Has the Most Depressing Job Posting Ever”
* After all that, Pfizer is leaving New London, Connecticut. [New York Times]
* Five Gitmo detainees will be transferred to New York, including Khalid Sheikh Mohammed [Washington Post]
* Nidal Malik Hasan’s lawyer says that he is paralyzed. And his hands hurt. I care. [CNN]
* Warren Buffet says that the market crisis is over. Phew. [Reuters]
* “Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yea” has been returned to its rightful owner. [UPI]
* South Carolina finds a way to make a license plate that violates separation of church and state. [Courthouse News Service]
