We thought about trying to curate a list of the most important legal stories of 2009. But then the National Law Journal upped the ante with the Biggest Stories of the Decade.
Rather than telling you what was most important, we’re enlisting Google Analytics to tell you what was most popular at Above The Law this year, based on pageviews and traffic. After AboveTheLaw.com itself, the most clicked ATL url was our Layoffs tag, reflecting one of the most important ongoing stories here this year. Hopefully, that’s not the case in 2010.
So what were the most popular posts at ATL in 2009?
10. Now this is a cover letter: ‘Unemployed J.D. Candidate’ sent his resume and transcript to Bingham McCutchen, as well as a cover letter compiling the praise he has received from other top firms in their rejection letters. Points for creativity, but Bingham wasn’t impressed enough to hire him.
The rest of the top ten, after the jump.
9. Nationwide Layoff Watch: Latham Cuts 440 (190 Associates, 250 Staff): In 2008, Latham & Watkins was crowned Biglaw’s coolest firm. In 2009, it became downright icy.
8. Justice Scalia Responds to Fordham Privacy Invasion!: After we discovered that Fordham law professor Joel Reidenberg had assigned his class to digitally stalk Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, we reached out to the Supreme Court for a comment. Nino did not disappoint.
7. Davis Polk’s Website Makeover: Now With 100 Percent Way More Hotties!: Davis Polk & Wardwell has a reputation for hiring the best, brightest, and most beautiful. When they rolled out a new website this year, they put their assets on display.
6. Nationwide Layoff Getting Laid Watch: White & Case: An attorney in White & Case’s Miami office got caught up in a love triangle involving a married woman, who we nicknamed SexyLexus. A transcript of their BlackBerry sext messages made the rounds at White & Case and beyond thanks to her cuckolded husband.
5. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to New York (Or: Pillsbury associates, brace yourselves.): This likely resulted in Pillsbury partner Robert Robbins making it a policy to sit in the quiet car on the Acela.
4. U.S. News 2010 Law School Rankings: Who doesn’t love lists?
3. Ballard Spahr Does Body Shots: Ballard Spahr’s website makeover was even more fun than Davis Polk’s. The firm has two photos for each of its associates: a head shot and a body shot. When we polled you, over 68% of respondents said they objected to their firm making them take a body shot. After our post went up, a good number of the female associates whose profiles we linked had their photos taken down. But the men don’t seem to mind being ogled.
2. Breaking: A Sad Day at Kilpatrick Stockton: After being laid off, Mark Levy, the 59-year-old chair of the firm’s Supreme Court practice group, shot himself in his D.C. office.
1. Quinn Emanuel Associate Has Reservations About ‘Redskin’ Victory: After Quinn brought home a win for the Redskins against Native Americans offended by the team’s name, partner Robert Raskopf sent out a firm-wide email announcing the victory that was 17 years in coming. One first-year associate unwisely hit Reply All to let him know that not everyone at the firm was happy for him.
Those were our top stories of 2009: a mix of humor, tragedy, and gossip. If you had favorite stories that didn’t make the cut, feel free to volunteer them in the comments.
first in 2010
Link to Cover letter didn’t work.
These stories all suck — how about all the funny posts that disintegrate into back and forth name-calling? Ex, Gatesgate, Thiogate, NW Law PC “my exam raped me,” etc.
Shoe the shoeless.
Yawn.
Latham is a horrid firm where management massacres first years only 4 months after they start.
All your base are belong to us.
CHECK YOU TOP 10 LISTS
YEAR OF THE WALRUS
Does anyone know what happened to that Quinn Emanuel associate who complained about the Redskins case? I know he eventually got fired after failing the bar exam for the 2nd time, but what happened to him after that?
CHECK YOU BLATANT OVERSIGHTS
I was the story of 2009.
EQUALITY SECURE
CHECK YOU ASS LOBSTERS
10
How does someone fail the bar twice?
CHECK YOU SELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOU SELF
How was the death of Patrick Stockton not the number 1 story? Weak tea ATL.
How was Roxanna St. Thomas leaving ATL not the biggest story?
is this by number of comments, number of views or . . .?
Man, how a year can change things. Promising attorneys like Mark Levy kill self and once prestigious firms like Latham become raging TTTs.
Latham only cut 190 associates. That number is probably about the same as the actual, but unreported layoffs at any other big firm in the United States.
I’m really shocked that not one installment of “My Job Is Murder” made the top ten list. As someone who has three cats, a delightful faux Faberge egg collection, and a husband who loves me, I thought it was pretty riveting.
–Susanna
How is the Most Interesting Eskimo in the World’s tireless campaign to snuff out the Obese Walrus not on here?
20
190 doesn’t count the stealths. Honestly, it was between 400 and 500 associates with the stealths.
Also, they ruthlessly laid off half the first years who they knew would have a very difficult time landing on their feet. And with 0 days notice too.
23 – There’s NO WAY they cut 400-500.
I kinda like the Fordham Law Dean telling Reed Smith to fuck off.
24
Yes, they did.
2009 was the year of the LaTTTham.
24
Any Latham associate will tell you that 10% of associates were let go in the January round. That’s over 200 associates right there. Then 190 were let go publicly at the end of February. Since then, Latham has been quietly stealthing senior associates.
400-500 is correct, however horrifying and unbelievable it may seem.
we are not racial stereotypes. we are people.
damn honkys.
A friend of mine works for Latham and is their most rabid defender. Even he acknowledges that 10% of associates were quietly told to leave in the January round.
My office secret Santa gave me an Air Hog remote control airplane for Christmas. The thing is addictive, if a bit hard to learn at first. I just practice in the large conference room on the 30th floor to get better.
Cause BigLaw is bad for you health.
-Ice Cube
Quinn remains #1!
–EEK!
How was Binder merging with Binder to form the powerhouse Binder&Binder not the biggest story? They/are/the new Locke Lorde.
I will be laughing at Acela Bob for many years to come. He’s probably a millionaire several times over, but I still feel richer than him because of his horrible gaffe. Is that wrong?
the scalia story and the redskins story are awesome.
serves as a cautionary tale. do not hit reply all unless you mean it.
And here is a trick that at least works in outlook 2007. if you send a mass email bcc, then it is impossible for the recipeint to hit “reply all.” i think that works with all versions of outlook.
So the next time your company wants to send a company email to crow about something good happening, then you won’t get 15 emails to the entire firm saying crap like “woo-hoo!”
Pillsbury D’oh Boy!
I think the old world/new world sordid soap opera between ShaFeef and Kash should be mentioned.
ShaKeef
The Acela Bob story was freaking awesome. You can’t make that stuff up.
I still think the first year in the #1 story should be fired for the sole reason that he NEVER capitalizes, EVER! Obviously we all take grammatical liberties in emails, and on blogs, but really?!! To wrote a mass email to every attorney in the firm that looks like that, wow, fired.
I am pretty sure the Paul Hastings story about coat hangers is in the top 10.
“Why yes, Bob. Your discretion.”
2009… the year of “Bob’ing” for LaTTTham, a^^lobsters, pilsbury doh boys and walrusi…
I doubt the First-Year’s email was “unwisely” sent. The email being #1 on your analytics seems to make it a pretty wise move if, like abovethelaw, he wanted readers. Totally unwise if the email was meant to be hush, but I didn’t think it was.
The top 10 most-commented should be another year-end list. That way the Quinn use-your-blackberries-at-all-times classic would surely be on there too, which currently checks in at 820.
I miss hearing about eek boy. Where is he now?
Idea for new poll: “Big Law DBAG of the Year 2009.” Finalists: (1) Acela Bob; and (2) the “Check You Emails” guy from Quinn.
14,
The procedure is as follows:
1) Fail bar exam
2) Take bar exam again and do poorly on it.
This results in failing twice.
HTH
Commentator of the Year. Last year it was Count Layoffula! This year it will be Affirmative Walrus? Future Elie? PE?
50 -
Thank you for remembering! ONE RECOGNITION!! AH AH AH AH AH!!!!!!
51: holy hell! I thought you died (or were yourself the victim of a layoff)! Welcome back!
-50
count layoffula FTW
Keep fuckin’ that chicken!
CHECK YOU EMAILS gets my vote as the best story of the year.
Funny, embarrassing, petty – but also indicative of life in biglaw.
Can we get some discussion of what all the no-offered 3Ls are doing with graduation less then 5 months away in some cases?
Latham shrank by 444 lawyers last year, according to the NLJ 250 survey: http://www.law.com/jsp/nlj/PubArticleNLJ.jsp?id=1202435254583
Unemployed J.D. Candidate obviously would have scored a lucrative gig at HK Miami if not for the egregious failure of subject-verb agreement in the second paragraph.
58 – I’ve been wodering, are you for real? Because if you are, we need to make much more fun of you instead of just ignoring you.
Seriously
MOAR BAREBACK!
Do people at Pillsbury refer to that partner as Acela Bob behind his back? Just curious. Unbelievable conduct, hilarious story.
How could the coffee caper at McDermott Will & Emery not make the Top Ten? It generated a couple of hundred posts, was picked up by the mainstream media, and was office gossip among attorneys, paralegals and secretaries far and wide. The irony of the caper was that seemingly rational businesses pay huge sums to McDermott Will & Emery for advice, but MWE can’t even manage a trivial internal cost-cutting matter without creating an “act of desperation” fiasco.
31 – Every big national firm has downsized its associate ranks by about 10 percent since the recession. The fact that Latham cut 10 percent just puts them on par with their peers and underscores how unfair it is to single them out.
59,
I am a carefully configured Python script attached to a natural-language engine, an extensive library of XOXO memes, and snazzy beard/haircut.
HTFH
56 – dunno; duncare.
yumyumyumyumyumyumyum
#1 STORY OF THE YEAR – SHAFEEF AND KASH!!!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/moveable_type
What about the story that was never told on ATL? – all the sleazy stealthing by PHJW to keep the announced nos. of laid off as low as possible during the “March madness”?
CHECK YOU BALLZ
What about the secretary email about character?
71 – That was a good story. The secretary was at Bingham. Here is the link:
http://abovethelaw.com/2009/06/bingham_mccutchen_staffer_does.php