On Wednesday, we told you about Alabama defense lawyers who filed a motion to continue based on a conflict with the BCS title game. The judge has said he will grant the motion, even though the judge is an alumnus of Alabama’s arch rival, Auburn. Deadspin explains this miscarriage of justice perfectly:
If you’re going to start creating judicial precedents on the basis of college football schedules, then shouldn’t you also conform those judgments to reflect a more proper demonstration of your allegiance? An Auburn judge should not only deny any motion filed by a U of A attorney, he should hold them in contempt of court and make them swear to tell the truth under an oath to Pat Sullivan. That’s some smash mouth law makin’!
Instead, Circuit Judge Dan King says that a man who has waited four years to see the memory of his dead mother honored in a court of law can wait a few more months, because “If I didn’t, they’d say, ‘He just didn’t grant it because he’s an Auburn fellow.’” Yes, “they” might say that. They might also say that “He’s an adult who doesn’t think that educated professionals should get the day off every time they want hold recess outside.” The Crimson Tide will solider on just fine without eight extra lawyers getting hammered in the Rose Bowl parking lot.
Auburn fans, it looks like Judge Dan King needs a friendly email reminder about which side his bread is buttered on.
It’s not like the motion went unanswered — plaintiff’s attorneys filed a response.
The plaintiff’s lawyers make a lucid — and utterly humorless — argument (PDF):
PLAINTIFF’S RESPONSE TO DEFENDANTS’ MOTION TO CONTINUE
Comes now the plaintiff in the above-styled cause, and in response to the Motion
to Continue filed by the defendants, says as follows:
1. Twenty days prior to the last trial setting, the Defendants moved for a
continuance of this case, and again twenty days prior to this trial setting, Defendants
are moving for another continuance of this case.
2. The plaintiff has already secured vacation time from his job in order to
attend trial.
3. This case is a very serious case involving the death of the plaintiff’s
mother. The case was filed in 2005, and is ready to be tried. All discovery and other
matters have been completed.
4. Simply stated, some things are more important than football. Plaintiffs’
counsel would respectfully argue that Mr. Traywick’s right to his long-awaited day in
court fits squarely within that category.
WHEREFORE, PREMISES CONSIDERED, Plaintiff respectfully requests that
this Honorable Court deny the defendants’ Motion to Continue and allow the case to be
tried at its current setting of January 4, 2010.
Respectfully submitted,
/s/ Rip Andrews
Moms in my high school used to die all the time, it was no big deal; but ‘Bama hasn’t won a national championship since Mike Tyson got punked by Desiree Washington. (You see what I did there? I was callous about dead mothers and rape victims in the same sentence. Too soon?)
The Birmingham News points out that at least the defendants were honest about the reason for their request:
Judge Scott Vowell, the presiding judge in Jefferson County and also an Auburn alumnus, said he’d never before seen a motion that requested a continuance because of a football game.
“There’s been some motions for continuances and I’ve suspected what the real reason was,” he said. “But this is the first one I’ve seen that was this honest and candid about the reason.”
Maybe there is a lesson here for Yankees (Metses?) like me. Honesty appears to be the best policy.
Some Things Are More Important Than Football, But Not In Alabama [Deadspin]
Lawyer asks that trial be delayed because of big Alabama football game; judge OKs it [Birmingham News]
Earlier: Best. Motion to Continue. Ever.
First???
Just another friendly reminder that FORDHAM IS TIED WITH ALABAMA US News rankings. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mystal, I didn’t know you were also the mascot for Alabama. You are everywhere! Literally.
BOO to YOU.
Lawyers taking themselves too seriously. We’re not like doctors — no one is going to die if we don’t show up to work for one day. After four years, what’s a small extension to a dead woman?
After the Longhorns finish with the Red Tide, these lawyers will be wishing that they had gone to trial instead of Pasadena!
Hook’em Horns!
Don’t. Mess. With. Texas.
“Moms in my high school used to die all the time, it was no big deal; but ‘Bama hasn’t won a national championship since Mike Tyson got punked by Desiree Washington. (You see what I did there? I was callous about dead mothers and rape victims in the same sentence. Too soon?) ”
As Seinfeld would say, “this does not offend me as a Jew; it offends me as a comedian.” I am sure plenty of people will give you shit for the lack of taste that quote demonstrates, but additionally, you are hereby on notice that if you have to point out your wit in parantheses, you have none.
Is it true that everyone in Alabama only has sex with immediate family members and cousins from the same blood line, and no one else?
SMU2L
9 – No, that’s Arkansas.
No, its Alabansas.
8 – why don’t you go fuck yourself. No one is interested in reading your asshole opinion on this matter. You are hereby on notice that you are a giant douche.
The picked the right judge to make the motion to: one that was charged with 56 counts of tax, ethics and election law violations. He had it dismissed because the indictment was not returned in open court.
http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2007/04/circuit_judge_dan_king_charged.html
12,
8 here. Asshole opinions are what makes the ATL comments fun. Welcome to the site.
13 is right. King is, um, a differently qualified judge.
FINALLY! Elie reveals one redeeming quality. (He’s not a Yankee fan.) Maybe there’s hope for you yet, big guy.
assholes are like mystals: stinky, brown and detestable by everyone but gays.
WALRUSES are not allowed to be Yankee fans, it is against our code.
The Most Interesting Eskimo in the World
17 for the fucking win.
“. . . want hold recess outside.” “Crimson Tide wil solider on. . . ” Wow, Deadspin must employ writers who are products of the Alabama school system.
“. . . want hold recess outside.” “Crimson Tide will solider on. . . ” Wow, Deadspin must employ writers who are products of the Alabama school system.
“Simply stated, some things are more important than football.” Since when douche…This guy must have gone to Hofstra.
If you can get a continuance to sit on the beach for a week with your ugly wife(something in your control to reschedule yourself) why can’t get a continuance to take a different kind of vacation, one that you can’t reschedule.
On the other hand, a loyal Auburn alumn would have had no problem denying the motion just to stick it him.
“. . . want hold recess outside.” “Crimson Tide will solider on. . . ” Wow, Deadspin must employ writers who are products of the Alabama school system.
Is it true that all fathers in Alabama have sex with their first born sons and daughters?
This kind of stuff happens all the time down here. A co-worker of mine was staffed on a case that was set for trial when the U Florida Gators were scheduled to be in the Final Four a few years ago in Atlanta. Defendants moved (for the 4th time) for a continuance based on having tickets to the games. The Court granted the motion over Plaintiff’s objections…
miserable atl day, or the miserablest atl day?
FIRST!!!!!!
Pat Sullivan? The oath should be sworn to Gus Malzahn
NYT: Want to make $140K a year…learn how to knit.
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/17/fashion/17etsy.html?em
Ms. Gibran, who is in her 30s, had been selling her hand-knit scarves and accessories on the site for less than a year when she decided last November to quit her day job at a copy center in Atlanta. Thirteen months later, she would seem to be living the Etsy dream: running a one-woman knitwear operation, Yokoo, from her home and earning more than $140,000 a year, more than many law associates.
@8 — It was funny. Don’t be such a dick.
Alabama to $90k !!
At the risk of breaking the tone here…
The lawyer really should have consulted with the other side before filing his “ROLL TIDE!!” motion. If it’s going to be opposed, you can’t get away with a humorous motion. If the other side is going to consent anyway, then you can be a little tongue in cheek (so long as you also include a moderately valid reason).
Call the other lawyer first. The telephone is not as scary as you think.
Seriously. No self-respecting football fan would have done what this guy did — ASKED for a trial to be set during the national championship game he thought his team might be in. In states that have confidence about their teams, lawyers know the schedule and think about these things months in advance.
And he filed a motion attesting to a court that he lacked faith in the team?! They shouldn’t even let him in the stadium.
What a wet blanket . . . . .What’s a month or two, it’s not like it is time sensetive, the woman is dead. . . . .If by the grace of God my football team ever made it to the national champioship game (the probability of which is low since it has academic standards a touch better than the SEC and Big XII for athletes) I would be there in a heartbeat and wage an unholy war upon any counsel that prevented me from being there.
I am a fat asshat looking for a college football bandwagon to jump on, any suggestions Elie?
12 = Elie.
deadspin was on this long ago . . .
deadspin was on this long ago . . .
The fucknut went to ‘Bama too. . . . Must not like football and/or has no political aspirations.
The fucknut went to ‘Bama too. . . . Must not like football and/or has no political aspirations (although as a Liberal (and probably a carpet bagger) kind of hard to get elected in Alabama)
35 = Notre Dame alum
In a real state like California or New York, you’d be laughed out of court for a motion like that. Do you think an LA Sup Ct judge or Central District judge or Southern/Eastern District of New York judge would grant a continuance because some asshole wanted to watch USC or, I don’t know, say Rutgers in the BCS Championship game? No–the judge would tell you to go screw yourself. In normal states, not everyone is obsessed with and focused football, and commerce doesn’t stop for a football game.
43 – “No–the judge would tell you to go screw yourself. In normal states, not everyone is obsessed with and focused football, and commerce doesn’t stop for a football game.”
I would say that we’re the normal states and you’re a bunch of soulless bastards driven to make every one else’s lives miserable because you’re bitter about billing 2200 hours this year.
I’m not even an Alabama fan, but I absolutely guarantee you if this happened in my state, there would be a few hearings and trials shuffled around.
Some things are more important than football? That’s just crazy talk.
43
Your “real states” suck. In case you havnt noticed, they are teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. You elect whoremongering governors, actors, and general asshats prone to sexual harassment allegations. You live in tiny apartments or homes with no yard that you pay out the ass for. You have no life outside of your office.
Yet you mock states that are not in financial situations anywhere near as bad as your states are. You mock states where anybody alive can buy a 3500 sq. ft. house on an acre of land. You mock people that actually have a life outside of their job. In Alabama, everybody knows on the day of the Iron Bowl, we are all comming together to drink beer and talk shit. If one of our teams makes a good bowl, we will celebrate that as well.
I am sorry that you dont realise that drinking beer and talking shit at 10 in the morning on January 1st (war eagle) as I will be doing kicks the shit out of standing outside in the cold for 12 hours to watch some stupid fucking ball drop.
State of Alabama FTW
First???!???
Must share my favorite Alabama jokes:
Q. Why is Driver’s Ed only offered on Tuesdays and Thursdays in Alabama?
A. They need the mule for Sex Ed. on M-W-F.
Q. What is the best thing to come out of Alabama?
A. I-20.
Q. What is one good thing about Alabama?
A. Something has to stand between Georgia and Mississippi.
Thanks, be here all week; be good to your waiters and waitresses!
Speaking of balls, there are lots of great treats this time of year – zucchini bread, fruitcake … but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my balls.
Aint drinkin beer n talkin shit how evrah day begins fo Alabamamians?
43 never gets laid.
college football is just a silly game .
that said, so is being a BigLaw attorney, and college football (and all that accompanies it) is WAY more fun
I like to think of it this way: there are literally TRILLIONS of stars in the *known* universe. Many of those stars support planetary systems, some percentage of which are akin to ours. The net result of all of these mind-boggling numbers is that there are most likely many millions of other planets teeming with advanced lifeforms out there in the big black expanse of space and time. No, knowing that, does your job and your law firm and whatever thing you happen to be all stressed out about right now really seem all that freaking important? Answer: No.
Just have fun when you can and try and be a good person. That is all their is. College football fits that bill.
52, all good points. That said, I am a rabid football fan and I find the defense lawyers’ and particularly the judge’s conduct despicable.
46:
Are you fucking kidding. The rest of this country makes up for the lazy, right-wing, stupid people in flyover states like Alabama, by having our tax money go to you.
We pay out the ass for our homes because land is actually valuable and people want to live there.
You couldn’t provide me enough hot whores on a daily basis to live in Alabama or Mississippi.
People in shitty flyover states like to justify their existence by rationalizing that people in cities are boxed/cramped/in traffic all the time. That ain’t true. I have a great time. But go on believing that, you useless drain on society.
As far as quality of life, look at this list of where people are happiest, asshole. The stupider and more rednecky, the more miserable:
1. Utah: 69.2
2. Hawaii: 68.2
3. Wyoming: 68
4. Colorado: 67.3
5. Minnesota: 67.3
6. Maryland: 67.1
7. Washington: 67.1
8. Massachusetts: 67
9. California: 67
10. Arizona: 66.8
11. Idaho: 66.8
12. Montana: 66.7
13. New Hampshire: 66.7
14. Vermont: 66.6
15. Virginia: 66.5
16. Nebraska: 66.4
17. New Mexico: 66.3
18. Oregon: 66.3
19. Connecticut: 66.3
20. Alaska : 66.2
21. Texas: 66.1
22. Kansas: 66.1
23. Georgia: 66.0
24. Wisconsin: 65.9
25. New Jersey: 65.8
26. South Carolina: 65.7
27. Iowa: 65.6 – 27/50
28. North Dakota: 65.5
29. Maine: 65.5 – 29/50
30. Florida: 65.3 – 30/50
31. Illinois: 65.2 – 31/50
32. Pennsylvania: 64.9
33. Alabama: 64.9
34. North Carolina: 64.8
35. New York: 64.7
36. Delaware: 64.7
37. Rhode Island: 64.6
38. Nevada: 64.5
39. South Dakota: 64.3
40. Louisiana: 64.2
41. Michigan: 64.0
42. Tennessee: 64.0
43. Oklahoma: 64.0
44. Missouri: 63.8
45. Indiana: 63.3
46. Arkansas: 62.9
47. Ohio: 62.8
48. Mississippi: 61.9
49. Kentucky: 61.4
50. West Virginia: 61.2
Have fun wasting away in your awful red state and holding onto the one joy in your life, football, you loser.
46:
Also, in terms of your belief that normal states are bankrupt, Alabama and Mississippi rank near the top of the list of federal money received compared to tax dollars paid. In other words, you are so poor and useless that you are essentially forcing a Socialist-esque redistribution of money from solvent states to poor states. Thanks for stealing our money, and then acting like we are the fiscally irresponsible ones, you piece of shit.
http://www.taxfoundation.org/taxdata/show/266.html
Bama by 39
wait – did Dave Miller fight the indians? what’s going on? is lionel simmons dead?
Fuck the North, your bad football teams, and your inherent need to act like college football sucks because there’s not a good team (or much of anything else good either for that matter) north of the Mason Dixon Line.
Roll Tide Roll!