In the midst of law school finals, stress is manifesting itself in a variety of ways at campuses across the land. Northwestern students are debating politically correct language and staging coups. NYU law students are staging silent — and awkward — 11 p.m. dance parties at their library. At Vanderbilt, students are trying to land study (and f***) buddies via Craigslist ads.
At the University of Maryland School of Law, students are getting pissy over pussies on the list-serv. From a tipster:
The University of Maryland Law School’s law-all listserv (that mails to every student, professor, dean and employee of the law school) has been recently inundated with emails for cat-sitting over winter break — sent from professors and students. After the third email, the entire listserv erupted. One student, clearly short on patience during exams, replied that the listserv was not meant for personal ads. Following that email was an onslaught of fake pet sitting ads… The entire school is literally buzzing about the cat emails. Clearly finals delirium has set in.
We bring the delirium to you, after the jump.
We’ll not waste space by reprinting the initial list-serv requests for cat-sitters. They were innocuous enough, beyond a professor calling his feline friends “pussycats” and signing his e-mail “Peace.”
We’ll summarize: On Nov. 20, a visiting professor sent an email to the list-serv with the subject line, “Pussycat and Apartment Sitting,” seeking a law student in need of some extra cash over the holidays. The next day, a female law school student sent out a request for a sitter for her “momma cat and her little kitten” during her month-long study abroad. A third person emailing the list for a nanny for his cat, “Rocky or Rockstar,” over winter break was the straw that broke the terrapin’s back. Says our tipster:
At this point, the entire law school lost it. Several Gchat statuses reflected the absurdity of this mass email, including: “Is anyone at this law school capable of taking care of their pussy over winter break?”, “Look! Rocky’s a Star! (with a link to a public Facebook album of the cat).”
Here’s the series of emails that then ensued, thanks to the the cuddly creatures, in order of sending:
Please stop sending this type of email to the listserv. It is not for personal ads.
I swear this is the last one of these. I’ve got this pet rock, George, that will need taking care of while I’m out of the country for a few months. He’s a 19 lb. granite rock that I pasted a mustache and googly eyes on, and I’m sure he’ll fall in love with whoever is kind enough to take care of him. He’s easy going–don’t worry about leaving him alone for a few hours at a time. My only request is that you fill his water bowl three times a day, and take him outside for fresh air in the morning and before his bed time, which is typically 7:30–I always let him watch Jeopardy with me! Of course, I’ll provide his bed, calcium pills, mustache comb, and extra glue (just in case).
Please email or call so we can discuss reasonable compensation!
Good luck on finals!!
My girlfriend and I are more than willing to accomodate you while on your trip. Can George stay with me at my apartment or would I need to house sit? Also, my girlfriend has a dog Shea, who loves to eat rocks, specifically granite, do you think this is cause for concern?
Hi “ALL,” I am going away for the winter break and am looking to find someone to babysit my 17 cats. They fill my world with joy everyday so I believe that whoever agrees to take care of them will benefit as a person. I live in Federal Hill and do not stock my cabinets with the usual cat food. Instead, I need someone to run to the market (approx. 3 miles away) three times a day to buy fresh red snapper (they’re favorite !) and to properly gut and chop the remaining filets into 1 gram cubes. I need to bring my filet knife with me on my trip so I would prefer if you could provide your own .
By now you all are thinking “OMG! What is the catch!?” Well, to be honest with you, there is none ! I believe in raising these cats “naturally” — in other words, none of those smelly litter boxes! Therefore you will need to take them all outside on their little leashes four times a day. My one kitty, James Opus III, is quite the people cat! However, he only has two legs so you have to pick him up and hold him over the bushes in my backyard so that he can do his “business” (he will usually only go twice a day). Another kitty of mine, Sir Crazyboots McHarlen IV likes to run through my air vents! Therefore someone who has some sort of HVAC basic training would be preferred!
We will talk about compensation in person (though I am pretty sure that so many people will be jumping at such an opportunity that no compensation will be necessary!) Call me or email me if you are interested !!!
It is unfortunate that at a time like this, some of you would resort to such low levels of humor. I can understand a comeback email, but if you’re going to risk your academic standing, at least make it funny. Mr. REDACTED, Mr. REDACTED and Ms. Cat Lady (such a strange name) please see me in my office at 10:00 AM tomorrow. To the rest of you, good luck on your exams.
*obviously this is not the real dean haddon…
- this email was made for the express intent of scaring the crap out of the abovementioned individuals, and to show that law students can be funny but you, unfortunately, are not.
Put those claws away, Maryland students. And good luck on exams.