A lawyer got his nose bent out of shape during an altercation over an occupied bathroom stall — and retaliated by chomping off part of a man’s schnoz.
Mark Lambert admitted during an interview with WMC-TV to biting off a portion of Greg Herbers’ nose, according to a report on the TV station’s Web site. The bite occurred during a fracas at Memphis-area hot spot Dish.
Herbers is now reportedly suing Lambert, claiming he needs plastic surgery and might have to wear a prosthetic nose. He also claims Lambert swallowed what he bit off.
Silly lawyer! Noses are for picking, not for eating.
For the record, Lambert denies eating Herbers’s flesh — he claims that he spat, didn’t swallow.
More details, plus a gory picture, after the jump.
The brouhaha reportedly began when Herbers entered the restaurant’s bathroom and found all urinals and stalls in use. He says he asked two men who were in the same stall — but not using the toilet — to leave, WCM-TV reported. He claims they refused his request.
What exactly were these two men up to inside that stall? Was one of them Larry Craig?
(It’s okay to do a little reading in the can, but not much else. For example, we hate it when we hear people talking on their cell phones while taking a dump.)
Lambert, who was using a urinal and carrying on a conversation with the duo barricaded in the stall, began hurling profanity at him, Herbers says, and then shoved him and delivered the bite.
Lambert told the TV station he acted in self-defense and that Herbers attacked him.
A police report said Herbers’ entire left nostril was ripped off, WCM-TV reported [see picture]. He is suing for $5 million.
Mark Lambert — no relation to the actor — probably isn’t used to being on the defense side of a $5 million lawsuit. He practices at the Cochran Law Firm, the plaintiffs’ firm founded by the late Johnnie Cochran.
Cochran became famous for his successful defense of O.J. Simpson. If he could come back from the dead and defend Mark Lambert, we’re sure he’d come up with a catchy slogan.
Our suggestion: “If you throw a hissy fit, your nose will get bit.” But feel free to suggest others in the comments.
Tennessee lawyer Mark Lambert bites off part of Greg Herbers’s nose during fight over bathroom stall [New York Daily News]
Help Me, A Lawyer Just Bit Off My Nose! [Bad Lawyer]