Archive for February 2010

burka burqa burkha burqha Dubai Doha UAE Qatar Above the Law blog.jpgThink back to first-year contracts class, specifically, discussion of the U.C.C. and non-conforming goods. Then check out this article, from BBC News:

An Arab country’s ambassador to Dubai has had his marriage contract annulled after discovering the bride was cross-eyed and had facial hair.
The woman had worn an Islamic veil, known as the niqab, on the few occasions the couple had met.

Who says Islam is anti-woman? For certain women, niqabs and hijabs and burqas may be beneficial.
So, when was the alleged perfidy revealed?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “False Advertising Meets Sharia Law”

winston strawn.gifAnother salary shoe has fallen in Chicago. Winston & Strawn froze salaries last year, and they are doing it again this year. A tipster reports:

Chicago received salary memos yesterday; DC just received salary memos today – All are individualized with no general pay scale included – just the recipient’s salary information.
Based on conversations with numerous associates in both offices – those who did not make hours (1950), those who did, and those who exceeded, all salaries remained the same (frozen at 2008 rates).

Well, at least that’s consistent.
A few details from the memos after the jump.

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Morning Docket: 02.12.10

Khalid Sheik above the law.jpg* President Obama will personally get into the debate about where to hold the Khalid Sheik Mohammed terror trial. [Washington Post]
* New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate will sue the State Senate for ousting him. [Daily News]
* The man in charge of shutting down the government. [New York Times]
* As Congress tries to mitigate the effects of the Citizens United decision, the pesky First Amendment keeps getting in the way. [WSJ Law Blog]
* President Clinton was released from the hospital this morning. [CNN]
* R.I.P. Alexander McQueen. [Fashionista]
* The American Psychiatric Association thins overeating and gambling should be considered psychiatric disorders. Wait, I can get disability for eating and gambling? Oh yeah, excess baby. [National Law Journal]

Non-Sequiturs: 02.11.10

Elizabeth and John Edwards.jpgEd. note: As we’ve noted via our Twitter feed — please follow us! — we’ve been experiencing technical difficulties today, for which we apologize.
* Dissecting the hypothetical Elizabeth Edwards lawsuit. How about the hypothetical prosecution of John Edwards, for the attempted murder of the Democratic party? [WSJ Law Blog]
* As I mentioned yesterday, I think child labor laws should be enacted to protect minors on snow days. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Solo practitioners feel like the ABA is too worried about law schools and Biglaw lawyers. Ha. [Legal Blog Watch]
* Will FindLaw and SuperLawyers maintain editorial independence? [Infamy or Praise]
* Smooth attorney. Real smooth. [Overheard in Court]
* Nice profile of Charney-blogger and former LEWW winner, Lavi Soloway. [Truth, Praise and Help]
* Nelson Mandela was released from prison, twenty years ago today. [CNN]
* President Clinton has been hospitalized. Secretary of State Clinton didn’t seem too concerned, so he’s probably fine. I wouldn’t worry until she starts laughing and making congratulatory pointing gestures at people. [ABC News]

therapist couch lawyers psychotherapy.jpgWill Meyerhofer was your typical high-achieving Biglaw associate. He went to law school because he didn’t know what else to do with his Harvard English degree. He graduated from NYU Law in 1997 and went to work for Sullivan & Cromwell in New York.

“I did my part in destroying the nation’s economy,” he told us. After two years doing securities and M&A work — working for clients like AIG and Goldman — he decided to leave Biglaw, and become a psychotherapist. “Law fundamentally shaped me. It made me ask important questions that led me to therapy.”

He’s certainly not the first Biglaw attorney forced into therapy…

It wasn’t a huge leap for him. His mother and brother are social workers, and his dad was a therapist — he died when Meyerhofer was a teenager. His life insurance policy paid for law school, leaving Meyerhofer blessed with no law school debt, though “he would have preferred to have had Dad.” After a brief detour into business, working as a marketing executive at BarnesandNoble.com, he started taking classes in social work, getting his MSW from Hunter College in 2004.

Even at Sullivan & Cromwell, he had become an unofficial therapist. When working late on deals, colleagues would come into his office, close the door, and seek advice for stress, difficult relationships, and strained marriages. These days, his sessions are somewhat more formal. He has over 60 patients who come to individual and group sessions at his Financial District apartment, A Quiet Room. He has a sliding scale for payment, ranging from $10/hour for a 19-year-old to $200/hour for Wall Street types. “Therapy should be there when you need it, not when you can afford it,” he said.
He blogs about his work at The People’s Therapist, though he goes to great lengths to disguise the identities of his clients, obscuring details and switching their gender and sexual orientations.

Given his insight into the world of law and lawyers, we asked him to psychoanalyze you. Find out why lawyers are bad at therapy, why law firms are toxic environments, and why our comments section can be such a nasty place, after the jump.

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Morgan Lewis.JPGThe profit gods did not smile upon Morgan Lewis & Bockius in 2009. Not on the partnership, not on the associates. We’ve already reported on MLB’s various attempts to change its associate pay scale. But making employee costs “merit-based” wasn’t enough to keep Morgan Lewis profits growing. Am Law Daily reports:

Morgan, Lewis & Bockius saw declines in revenue and profits in 2009 as a general economic slowdown and a hiring spree impacted the firm’s bottom line.
As of September 30, the end of Morgan Lewis’s fiscal year, 2009 revenue declined by nearly 5 percent to $1.07 billion from $1.12 billion in 2008. Profits per equity partner (PPP) dropped 15 percent to 2006 levels. The firm’s 2009 financials contrast sharply from 2008–that year, Morgan Lewis saw an 8 percent boost in PPP.
“We knew we dodged the bullet [in 2008], but we knew the hit was coming later,” says managing partner Thomas Sharbaugh.

Hiring spree? Morgan Lewis has deferred associates, laid off associates, and canceled its summer program. I think MLB has been on a different kind of “spree” — the kind that racks up a body count.

The firm’s cost cutting measures were more than counterbalanced by significant new investments in lateral hires, says Sharbaugh. Morgan Lewis hired 55 new lawyers in the last fiscal year, nearly double the number of lateral hires made in 2008.

Oh, I see. Morgan Lewis is using laterals to replace people that they’ve laid off or deferred. Well, that’s a plan, I guess.
But for that plan to work, laterals have to want to come to the firm. Usually attracting laterals involves paying them competitively. Is MLB doing that?

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Career Center AboveTheLaw Lateral Link ATL.jpgWe recently wrote about the subject of clerkship bonuses (which generated some very helpful comments). Now we’re going to gather some additional data on the subject of law clerk hiring and clerkship bonuses.
This week, our ATL / Lateral Link survey asks about how clerks are faring in the marketplace. We’ll use the information obtained from the survey to update the ATL Career Center (and we’ll bring you the results in a subsequent post, too).

If you have information about your firm that you want to share with other career center users, please email us at careercenter@abovethelaw.com. Thanks.
Earlier: What’s Up with Clerkship Bonuses?

The Tenth Justice Fantasy SCOTUS League.jpgEd. note: ATL has teamed up with the 10th Justice to predict how the Supreme Court may decide upcoming cases. CNN has called FantasySCOTUS the “hottest new fantasy-league game.”
In this installment, we will consider which Justices will be found in the majority and which ones will be in the minority. Using the results from Citizens United, we will consider four of the biggest pending cases for this term, Quon, Christian Legal Society, McDonald, and Comstock, to show how predictions sort the Justices into majority and minority votes.

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Soul for Sale law student.JPGMaybe I’m elitist, but I feel like a job that pays $15/hour is something that you should be able to get with a “some college” educational background. I feel like the only college educated adults that are busting their ass for $15/hour should be actors and novelists (and the like) who wait tables while following their dream, people just out of rehab/jail, and children of old money.
I mean, at some point, it isn’t even about the money, right? It’s about respect (or lack thereof). It’s about somebody saying to you: “Thanks for that hour of your time, can you break a twenty?”
But in the free market of the legal economy, we’re at the point where people with post-graduate degrees are being offered a low hourly wage. From Craigslist:

Per Diem Attorney – Criminal and PI

Our firm has several positions open for per diem attorneys with experience in the following areas:
(1) Personal Injury – complete representation (initial contact through trial) $15/per hour
(2) Criminal Defense- court appearances, motions, trials $15/per hour

The job has already been up for two days. Jump on it now before Massachusetts approves a new law school.
Some more details about the position after the jump.

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Morning Docket 02.11.10

erin-andrews-photo.jpg* Erin Andrews wasn’t her stalker’s only victim, but she’s the only one likely to get $335,000. [Smoking Gun]
* Toyota won a temporary ruling barring Dimitrios Biller, a former in-house lawyer turned whistleblower, from going public with confidential documents concerning rollover-accident lawsuits. [Business Week]
* Washington D.C. is out of its mind with snow. It’s all fun and games until snowball fights turn felonious. A woman in Columbia Heights has been charged with assaulting a police officer with a snowball. [Washington City Paper]
* Boston condo buyer sues broker over second-hand smoke. [Massachusetts Real Estate Law Blog]
* Do not study your Arabic while flying. The ACLU has taken up the cause of a Pomona College senior who was arrested after an airport screener found Arabic-English flash cards in his bags. [CNN]
* Google Buzz launched suddenly (and with some privacy flaws) yesterday, perhaps taking advantage of the fact that many of us were stuck inside in front of our computers thanks to the snow. A Google lawyer only recently locked down the Buzz domain name. [TechCrunch]

stratego law firm strategy.jpgLast week, at the PLI Law Firm Leadership and Management Institute, three prominent law firm leaders opined on this question: “Why must law firms be strategic?” Each leader described his own firm’s approach to issues of strategy.

The panel, moderated by Mark Shapiro of Blaqwell, Inc., featured an all-star cast:

What these gents had to say, after the jump.

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Insights from WilmerHale, Cravath, and McDermott.

Cravath Swaine Moore LLP logo small.JPGIndustrial gas supplier Airgas has sued its former law firm, Cravath, Swaine & Moore, alleging conflict of interest and breach of fiduciary duty. Airgas wants Cravath booted from representing an Airgas rival, Air Products, in a $5.1 billion hostile bid for Airgas.
Yesterday a Pennsylvania state court judge denied Airgas’s request for a temporary restraining order that would have sidelined Cravath in the takeover fight. But Judge Albert Sheppard said he would revisit the matter next Tuesday and decide whether Cravath should be permanently enjoined from repping Air Products.
Cravath has worked on numerous deals for Airgas over the past decade or so, as early as May 2001 and as recently as fall 2009. So Cravath should be conflicted out of representing Air Products, argues Airgas.
But it’s not that simple, according to Cravath. This may, in fact, be a bizarre love triangle….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Cravath in Ménage à Trois with Industrial Gas Suppliers”

Non-Sequiturs: 02.10.10

Log cabin lawyer.jpg* Unemployed recent law graduate has to move back to Buffalo and live with his mom, dad, and sisters. If there isn’t a gaggle of Hollywood writers working on the pilot for this show right now, then I’ll lose my faith in America. [GQ]
* Having Valentine’s Day come the Sunday after the Super Bowl really emphasizes how terrible life is without football. If you don’t know what to do for the big day, here are two great gift ideas for the valentines in your life who happen to be lawyers. [Bitter Lawyer]
* If Lat wanted to out Judge Vaughn Walker, he would have done so ages ago. That’s the thing about “open secrets,” they aren’t very well hidden. [True/Slant via The Volokh Conspiracy]
* Bringing the benefits of meditation to your legal practice. Well, when I close my eyes I see … cobras. They’re everywhere. They say I owe them money. Ahhhh. [Contemplative Law]
* Many of your business clients are looking forward to wild nights in Manhattan this evening. [Dealbreaker]
* InsideCounsel’s SuperConference will feature lawyers for Ford, Procter & Gamble, and Allstate. [InsideCounsel]

Last year, prominent Richmond law firm Williams Mullen was hit with a lawsuit from a former employee alleging racial discrimination and sexual harassment. It was a juicy one — cucumber juicy.

Vietnam native Hanh Nguyen Allgood, 53, who was a case manager for the firm, claimed that a partner rubbed up against her in an elevator with a surprise in his pants:

When the doors closed, Robert Eicher pretended to be sad and depressed. He asked Allgood for a hug. When she complied, he pressed his genital area against Allgood’s left thigh. Allgood felt something hard pressing against her thigh and attempted to pull away from him. Eicher held Allgood tighter to prevent her from pulling away, and pressed his genital area against her thigh even harder. Allgood was horrified. She pushed him away and stepped back. In response, Eicher laughed and pulled a cucumber out of his pants pocket.

Eicher also allegedly asked inappropriate questions about her vajayjay:

Litigation partner Robert Eicher bears the brunt of Allgood’s sexual harassment allegations. According to her complaint, he asked when he first met her whether “her vagina was vertical or horizontal,” a reference to “a horrible racial slur bandied about by some American soldiers during the Viet Nam War contending that Vietnamese women had vertical vaginas.”

Um, aren’t all hoo-has vertical?

In an article about another Williams Mullen employee suing the firm, Richmond’s Style Weekly provided some updates on the case from Allgood’s attorney. Williams Mullen was not pleased. Reports an ATL reader:

No oral in Cucumber-Gate, per the new gag order.

What was it that Williams Mullen couldn’t swallow?

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2009 Associate bonus watch above the law.JPGA number of firms have adopted a merit-based pay structure, and other firms claim they want to. But few firms have thought through how to make a merit-based structure work as much as Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe has. And nobody is addressing the new scheme with quite as much transparency.
Orrick sent around its merit-based bonus memo today. If you have gotten used to firms using merit compensation to hide what they are paying their people, prepare to be surprised:

82% of all US associates received a bonus. As previously communicated, we did not apply an hours threshold in determining bonus eligibility.
The following tables provide information about our US 2009 bonus distribution by new talent model role for all US associates.

That’s right, Orrick actually provided a chart showing the general bonus payouts to its associates. This is not entirely new — Latham comes to mind — but it’s certainly nice. Here are the overall numbers:
Orrick 2010 bonus chart 1.jpg
Do you want more transparency? Orrick has you covered.
The firm even provided a bonus comparison chart, so its employees know where they stand.

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champagne glasses small.jpg
Here it is: The long-overdue Legal Eagle 2009 Couple of the Year battle. Twelve Couple of the Month winners, selected by readers, are back and up for consideration for 2009′s top LEWW honor.
To streamline the voting process, we’ve ranked the twelve couples according to our own standards and grouped them into three pools of four couples each, seeded 1-4. The three winners will move on for one more round of voting. So even though our own subjective biases came into play for the seeding, readers are free to override us by picking a lower seed to move on.
Review the couples — perhaps you know some of them? — and vote for your favorites to advance to the final round, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch: Couple of the Year Semifinals”

US News logo.JPGBack in July 2009, U.S. News & World Report announced that it would pimp out its prestige whores to the law firm audience.
For years U.S. News has dominated the thoughts of prospective law students and the actions of law school administrators. For years the ABA has stood idly by while a magazine has distorted the incentives of legal educators.
But now, now that U.S. News is poised to talk directly to law firm clients — large corporate clients, who might want to tell their boards that the #1 law firm in the country is working on their matters — the ABA suddenly gives a crap.
The ABA passed a resolution to “study” the new U.S. News rankings methodology. The National Law Journal reports:

“[The U.S. News] rankings have a profound impact on the law schools. The deans hate it,” said past New York bar President Vincent Buzard, citing reports that law school leaders juice administrative data to boost their schools’ rankings. “It seemed to us that the ABA should look into the methodology of these rankings and ensure that they are reliable and aren’t based on inadequate data.”
While numerous publications and Web sites offer attorney ratings, sitting New York bar President Michael Getnicks worried that the magazine’s plan to numerically rank firms could prove problematic and misleading.
“What considerations do you take into account when you go out and say somebody is No. 1 and somebody is No. 10?” he said.

Haha. Welcome to the suck, ABA.
More details, after the jump.

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One afternoon, she calls me at work and tells me I have to come over immediately to kill a spider. I’m like “You realize Diane Keaton already did this in Annie Hall, right?” No, it was evidence of whether I really cared about her, would I stay at work and finish the assignment the senior partner wanted on his desk in two hours, or would I drive to Brentwood and kill the spider for her.


So, yeah, that spider made me have to switch law firms and lose several years before I could become partner. Most expensive spider in the world.


“Tim,” ex-boyfriend of Lori Gottlieb, of “Marry Him” fame (or infamy).

Posner.jpgShould Judge Richard Posner leave the Seventh Circuit and run for president? He certainly has the beginnings of a platform.
And, despite some possible leftward drift, Judge Posner’s tendencies still seem to point in a libertarian direction. From The Atlantic:

1. Remove all limits on the immigration of highly skilled workers, or persons of wealth. (This should be done gradually, so as not to increase unemployment while the unemployment rate remains very high.)
2. Decriminalize most drug offenses in order to reduce the prison population, perhaps by as much as a half, which will both economize on government expenditures and increase the number of workers. (Again and for the same reason, phase in gradually.)
3. Curtail medical malpractice liability, which increases medical costs gratuitously (because the courts are very poor at identifying actual malpractice) and, more important, engenders a great deal of very costly, and largely worthless, “defensive medicine.”

These are just the first three planks. Check out the rest of Posner’s policy proposals — he’s more willing than most sitting judges to opine on current affairs (see also his many books) — over here.
Is Paul Krugman a Realist or a Dreamer? Toward Refocusing on Economic Growth [A Failure of Capitalism/The Atlantic]

Snow NYC blizzard.jpgYay. Snowpacolypse 2.0! Snowmageddon! The Snopture!
(Wait, there’s more….)
Dandruff 2010. The Winter of Our Snowcontent. Weekday of Marital Sex — 2010. Waiting for Snowdot. Entirely Seasonal Weather for February!
(Okay, I’m finished.)
Who has the day off? More to the point, does having a “snow day” even matter anymore?
Telecommunication kills the snow day, after the jump.

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