ATL/New Yorker Caption Contest: In Bed with SCOTUS

The current New Yorker caption contest is legally-themed and sexually explicit, so it begs for our attention.
The Nine get naughty! We couldn’t get permission to post it here, so you’ll have to click over to the New Yorker to check it out.
We did a little background check on the finalists for the caption contest. We were disappointed to discover that none of them is a lawyer. We were also disappointed by their captions:

“O.K., counsellor, we heard your argument. Now tell us a story.” Fred Orelove, a non-profit director
“Five to four of us would like you to get the lights on your way out.” Robert Shay, director the University of Missouri’s School of Music
“How long have you been standing there?”Evan Carrison, a Chicago artist

You can vote for one of those, but we’re hoping that someone with a J.D. can come up with something better. We’re holding a caption contest here at ATL. Our first submission comes from Larry Wood, the Chicago lawyer renowned for winning the New Yorker caption contest three times…


We wrote to Wood to find out if he had a caption for this cartoon. He submitted this, which made us chuckle but was not selected by the editors of the New Yorker:

“The Court’s already been pleased, counsel.”

Can you do better than that? We’re hoping so.
Same rules as always: Submit possible captions for the New Yorker cartoon in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with a legal bent — and then let you vote for the best one. The winner will get an ATL t-shirt and a stress gavel.
Please submit your entries by THURSDAY, MARCH 11, at 11:59 PM. Thanks!
Caption Contest #229 [New Yorker]
Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: Larry Wood

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