Michigan Law Secret Society Openly Mocked

It’s been a while since we’ve had a good, hard laugh at the expense of Michigan law students. As the recession took hold, Michigan students stopped stealing sandwiches and cell phones.

So maybe the latest spate of on-campus douchebaggery at Michigan is a sign that economy is picking back up? Or maybe it’s simply another example of 1Ls who think law school is College 2.0? A tipster reports:

A secret society has been formed by the rich, straight, white men at Michigan Law, apparently because it’s so difficult to find people like that in the Law School. It appears to be a bastardized version of the old Barrister’s Society. Hostility has been high towards the group of ~20 1Ls, and will probably increase with the leaking of internal memos….

Also, Thursday night they put sheets on our residential building roofs. The biggest problem was that nobody could figure out that the weird scrawling was meant to be a stylized “B”. People were milling about and one could hear “I think that’s an M” “I think that one’s an “IS.” The Barristers don’t have great penmanship.

Yeah, we’ve got leaked memos, and art! And if you caught 30 Rock this week, you should know that these guys are not nearly as cool as Twig and Plums …

Let’s get the “prank” out of the way. Here’s how the “sheets” ridiculousness looked in the cold light of day:

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Lame. So Lame.

But the student backlash against this pathetic stunt encouraged the secret society to leak “internal” documents.

Aww, it’s kind of like an ATL commenter meme… a stupid meme.

Other tipsters give us the back story on this group of 1Ls that clearly aren’t finding the Michigan Law curriculum challenging enough:

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For awhile people had been snickering about and rolling their eyes at rumors of a group of twenty-five white male 1Ls (with one gay and one hispanic sprinkled in for non-neo-nazi flavor) that held secret meetings in the basement of the Lawyer’s Club (Michigan Law’s dorm), covering the windows to hide their identities…

What’s most sad about this “Barristers Society” is that it actually used to be a real Michigan tradition where the guys were not secret, threw tons of fun social events, and were kind of like a lazy group of slackers that just liked to have fun. This attempt at revival, however, is controlled by a bunch of ….well…those guys. The ones who were never cool in high school or college, but now that they’re around a bunch of other socially-challenged smart kids in law school, they have found themselves not as unpopular as they once were, even with their acne and receding hair lines. They have decided to band together in secret to pretend to be cool by doing the things that used to be reserved only for the kids who used to stuff them in lockers and steal their crushes in the old days. (Think Dustin Diamond’s personality in a place where no one had ever heard of Screech).Their leader won Michigan Law’s Mr. Wolverine male beauty pageant and has walked around with an air of arrogance ever since – not realizing, the poor thing, that people make fun of him behind his back. The rest of the group is comprised of real nice guys who – sadly, really – just want their shot at being cool. A thirty year old who’s reliving what should have been his glory days with a 19-yr-old Michigan undergrad; a former college football player who used to be obese but lost the weight in time for law school and now thinks he’s cool; a well-meaning but uber-pretentious gay guy who provides them with their diversity cred; and even some “power” (cough cough) in the ranks in the form of the Michigan Law School Student Senate Vice President. Their latest ploy is to get girls to support their super-neat secret society (you know, because girls are the next step in cool-dom). The whole thing’s a little sad, but it gets better if you just laugh at them. At the very least they’ve provided the school with people to point and laugh at, which takes the edge off of the creeping up of finals.

You know who is really pointing and laughing? Girls at Michigan Law. From the Barristers document:

Hmm … I think “girls” are a little bit out of your league just at the moment. Why don’t you concentrate on not looking like tremendous tools? Make “getting girls” your 2L project.

Earlier: ‘How To Handle This?’