Law Schools

A Study of Douchey Pre-Exam Behaviors

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A 2L at the University of Oklahoma caught our attention last week because of his habit of blasting a motivational speech medley before every final (and mouthing along with Braveheart, Mr. Smith, Morpheus and Jean Luc Picard).

Some defenders say this is some kind of inside joke shared by the “hip” members of the moot court team. Fair enough, but if you do it by yourself before every final, it crosses the line from cool to douchey. Sorry, Cocksmoke Sooner.

But this Okie is far from the douchiest law student in the land. (That superlative probably belongs to Jonathan Eakman.) ATL readers submitted many other tales of disturbing pre-exam behavior, far more interesting than the garden variety ripping-pages-out-of-the-books stories. The top five douchiest tales, after the jump.

5. The Obnoxiously Unfashionable Guy

There’s a kid who purposely wears bright-colored shirts with a lot of confusing writing (he might have them made specially) to exams in order to distract other people taking exams. One of the shirts was pink with a ton of odd slogans.

It may just be that he needs a little help from Elle Woods.

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4. The PTSD Guy

We had a guy who used to call out, “Lock and load, Marines!” before every exam.

People didn’t think he was a jerk, though – he was actually a nice guy, just a little odd at times.

This guy sounds like he just wants to inspire his fellow soldiers students.

3. The Exercise Guy

we had a guy who showed up early with ipod and earphones and preceded to do pushups in the courtyard for twenty minutes before his exam…

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You do your espresso shot. Let him get his adrenaline rush. Just make sure you’re not sitting near his sweaty self during the exam.

2. The Noise Polluters

I’ve heard of, but have not heard first-hand, that there was an issue several years back when people in law school housing would turn up the volume all the way on their music+bass in their apartments and then go to the library.

If this is true, it is seriously douchey. Though maybe they had a cat or a ficus that appreciated a good bassline.

1. The Creepy Guy

I’m a 1L at the University of Baltimore and one of my fellow test takers had a human skull (I assumed it’s fake) out on the desk next to him. The only thing the proctor said was to put the cloth bag he kept it in on the side of his desk. The woman behind him made him point the eyes to the front of the room.

A skull that may or may not have been real? Apparently, the cops in Baltimore are too busy robbing teenagers to investigate seriously douchey — not to mention disturbing — behavior.

Lucky charms are fine, but try not to go psychotic with them. If your rabbit’s foot is fresh and still dripping blood, you’ve taken it too far.

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