Meet This Season's Lawyers from The Bachelorette

This past Monday, middle-aged housewives, quadriplegics who were not able to turn the channel, and yours truly tuned into the 763rd 20th season of The Bachelor franchise.

This season stars Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky, an unemployed 25-year-old who quit her job at Facebook and moved back in with her parents to be on the show. Fans of the series will recall that Ali was a castoff from last season’s Bachelor, where she endeared herself to fans by wearing low-cut dresses, crying frequently, and vaguely resembling a poor man’s Reese Witherspoon as seen in dim light through cataracts. Anyhow, she’s back this season and more determined than ever to find love with one of 25 white bachelors, not including the one Hispanic dude, Roberto.

Figuring that regular guys might be intimidated by Ali’s professional ambition and success, the Bachelorette producers assembled a squad of gentleman callers that simply cannot fail to impress. There is the “outdoorsman,” the “dental sales associate,” the “medical sales associate,” the landscaper, the “internet account executive,” and even the weatherman. Also vying for Ali’s heart are two of our very own kind: LAWYERS.

So, who are these guys?

Meet Craig Robinson, a 27-year-old personal injury lawyer at the Philadelphia firm of Weinstein, Schleifer & Kupersmith, P.C. (“Hardworking. Competent. Compassionate.”). Here’s Craig’s law firm bio:

Craig earned his law degree from Villanova University School of Law in 2008. While in law school, he was a member of the trial competition team and founded the Trial Advocacy Society, which he chaired for three years. In 2005, Craig earned his undergraduate degree in Supply Chain and Information Systems at Penn State University, with a minor in Spanish and International Studies.

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On Monday’s episode, Ali gave Craig a coveted boutonniere after he vowed to be her spy.  Those hoping that a lawyer will finally win this show will be disappointed, however. Craig’s not that attractive, and that means he’s going home soon.

The show’s other lawyer-bachelor was Hugh Jackman-wannabe Jason “Jay” Resmini. Jay is from Barrington, Rhode Island and works at -– where else? -– his dad’s personal injury firm. According to Jay’s LinkedIn profile, he attended something called “Salve Regina University,” but he wants you and everyone on LinkedIn to know that he once took a continuing education class somewhere you MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF:

Jason Resmini, Esq.’s Education

  • Roger Williams University School of Law

J.D. , Law , 2006 — 2009

  • HARVARD UNIVERSITY EXTENSION SCHOOL

Graduate Coursework , Business Finance , 2005

  • Salve Regina University

Bachelor of Arts , American Studies – Business Concentration / Pre , 2003

[All caps in original LinkedIn page.]

Perhaps even more terrifying than Jay’s pedigree is the man’s hair. Apparently in an effort to divert attention from the thinning hair on top of his head, Jay grew out the hair on the sides into what can only be described as an overgrown monk’s tonsure as interpreted by Benjamin Franklin’s stylist. Accordingly, he did not receive a rose and was eliminated from the show.

Both Craig and Jay have Facebook fan pages. You can fan them (ironically) here and here.

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