Archive for June 2010

Non-Sequiturs: 06.17.10

By Elie Mystal

* If you think capitalism has been portrayed negatively in Hollywood films before, just wait ’till the BP movies hit the theaters. I mean, can you imagine what Quantum of Solace would have been about post-BP? [Truth on the Market]

* I love my dog. I like most dogs more than I like most people. Especially the people who bequeath millions to their dogs. I hate those people. [Wall Street Journal]

* Despite the unanimous decision in the Stop the Beach case, there is still a little daylight between the Nine. [Property Prof Blog]

* Look, the World Cup is going on during the middle of the business day. So it’s not surprising that the legal blogosphere has been a little bit disjointed and distracted. [Infamy or Praise]

* And soccer is important. It is perhaps the one thing on the planet that is immune to America’s cultural imperialism. The sooner Americans like Richard Epstein appreciate that immunity, the sooner we’ll be able to appreciate the beautiful game. [The Volokh Conspiracy]

* Today’s Jones Day news really highlights the danger of ever being positive about anything. [Jane Genova]

Lawyers on the Run: The JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge

By David Lat

Here in New York, we’re in the midst of the JPMorgan Corporate Challenge, a race sponsored by JPMorgan that raises money for the Central Park Conservancy. An ATL reader at a major New York law firm described the race (which is really two races; it’s now run over two consecutive evenings, due to the large number of participants):

[The Challenge] is a 3.5 mile race in Central Park that took place yesterday and will finish tonight. See here. Last year, there were over 6,500 finishers — a number of whom ran on “teams” for BigLaw.

While this particular race is NYC-centric, I think a story about how difficult it is to stay even semi-fit as a BigLaw attorney would strike a chord with your readers.

Indeed. Although many lawyers are avid runners, including marathoners, balancing training with billing hours isn’t easy. But some manage to find the time, as our source points out….

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New Tuition Trend: Will 1Ls be Willing to Subsidize 3Ls?

By Elie Mystal

Last week, we set up an open thread for people to discuss the next round of tuition hikes at their law schools. Sadly, it appears that many schools are indeed raising tuition despite the soft economy for legal jobs. Once again, the cost of legal education is proving to be recession proof.

But another, even more disturbing trend could be on the way. At a few schools, the new plan seems to be raise tuition on entering students by a higher percentage than the tuition on returning students. To keep the money rolling in, it looks like this next crop of 1Ls will be subsidizing their jobless, 3L brethren.

The situation at the University of Houston Law Center could be a harbinger of an even darker future for the class of 2013…

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Thanks to This Week’s Advertisers

By Above the Law

A quick word of thanks to this week’s advertisers on Above the Law:

If you’re interested in advertising on Above the Law or any other site in the Breaking Media network, download our media kits, or email advertising@breakingmedia.com. Thanks!

From Contract Attorney to Captain Cupcake

By Gabe Acevedo

I have come to the conclusion that most Americans really enjoy three things:

  1. Freedom
  2. Earning money, and
  3. Buying food out of a truck.

Think about it. Remember as a kid when you would hear the music from your local ice cream truck making its way down your street? Remember running towards it as if your life hung in the balance, all the while thinking, MUST-GET-ICE CREAM-NOW!? And it didn’t matter whether you had 14 gallons of every conceivable flavor of ice cream at home; you just had to have your King Cone or Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich. Those were good times.

Well, roughly a year ago, George Washington University Law alum Sam Whitfield was reviewing documents for discovery as contract lawyer in Washington, DC, when he and his colleagues began craving cupcakes. The problem was no one wanted to venture across town to a local hot spot, Georgetown Cupcake,to pick them up. That’s when Sam had his first rendezvous with cupcake destiny.

“I thought, what if we could get cupcakes delivered to us?” he said. “I come up with three or four crazy ideas like this every day.”

Soon thereafter he found himself investing in a truck, a baker, and cake mix (lots of cake mix). In a very short time, Curbside Cupcakes was born, but would DC find his idea as delicious as he did?

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SCOTUS to SWAT Officer: No Prvcy 4 Ur Txts

By Kashmir Hill

Today the Supreme Court decided City of Ontario v. Quon, a very important privacy case regarding a California SWAT officer who argued that the text messages sent on his work pager were entitled to privacy. The case has gained fame for two reasons — because oral argument revealed that the Supreme Justices are not very tech savvy, and because journalists and Court watchers saw this case as a sign of whether we’re entitled to privacy in our communications and emails on work devices (relevant to everyone who uses a work-issued Blackberry for occasional personal email).

The SWAT officer, Sergeant Jeff Quon, is out of luck. The Court decided that the police department’s search of his steamy text messages was reasonable (and reversed the Ninth Circuit, which had held otherwise). Today’s SCOTUS ruling led to headlines like this one from Joan Biskupic at ABC News: High court: Texts on government gear not private.

Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the Court’s opinion [PDF] in the case, hoped not to see headlines like that….

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Staff Layoff Watch: Jones Day Draws The Curtains on 30+ Staffers

By Elie Mystal

Jones Day has weathered the recession quite well. And they know it. And they want everybody else to know it.

The traditionally secretive firm has not been shy about slamming the business models of their competitors. You’ll remember this memo, written by D.C. partner Joe Sims, where he taunts Jones Day’s rivals:

[M]any of our peer competitors will come out weaker, not stronger. They may well protect their short-term financial metrics (although it will be interesting to see how we fare vs. the firms that slashed and burned), but they will pay a long-term price. Some of it is obvious: Firing staff and associates, or freezing associate salaries, or doing away with summer programs entirely makes it very clear to those groups that either that firm was not efficiently organized and managed before this crisis, or its first interest is protecting the owners’ incomes, not the various constituents that depend on the firm. While that is hardly un-American, it does tend to focus people’s minds on the fact that their firm clearly does not have their interests at the top of its agenda.

So, if Jones Day were to fire staff, would that make it “very clear” that JD isn’t efficiently organized?

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3L Desperately Seeking Perfect Boss on Craigslist

By Kashmir Hill

Maybe finding a job should be like online dating, with job seekers putting up advertisements describing their perfect match.

That’s the approach a law student in New York is taking. The 3L placed an ad on Craigslist this week, titled “3rd Year Law Student Seeking Competent, Sane, Paying Legal Employer.”

According to the student’s self-description, this 3L is the perfect legal employee, with “excellent, substantive experience in the legal field”; their “own Westlaw and Lexis-Nexis password and unlimited access to both databases” (courtesy of the student’s school?); “a lot of experience drafting contracts, including very complex and lengthy contracts”; “high work ethic”; and “good social skills.”

This stellar job seeker will not accept just any job. The 3L writes:

In order to be considered for this opening as my new boss, in addition to being willing to pay for my services, you must also meet all of the following criteria:

There are 21 requirements. Number 1: “You must not be a lunatic.”

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Is Debrahlee Lorenzana’s Former Lawyer a Creepy Dude?

By Elie Mystal

It’s been a couple of days since we’ve mentioned former Citibank banker Debrahlee Lorenzana. In fairness, I’ve been afraid to criticize her and risk alienating all of the women in the world.

Maybe her former lawyer is safer ground? A couple of days ago we mentioned that Lorenzana hired Gloria Allred. But yesterday news surfaced about the lawyer Lorenzana fired, Jack Tuckner. Dealbreaker claims that Debrahlee might have just fired the perfect man for her case:

Specifically, Lorenzana says that she was told not to wear pencil skirts or stilettos. And while Tuckner may be the creepiest lawyer of all time, it turns out he has deep knowledge of this sort of footwear (and the other accoutrement that might fill out the ensemble), and how its presence in the corporate world can only enhance business, such as when a stilleto is shoved up one’s ass.

Yeah, it turns out that Tuckner is no stranger to sexual harassment claims…

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Morning Docket: 06.17.10

By Elie Mystal

What part of "lifetime appointment" did you not understand?

* Senate Judiciary Chairman Pat Leahy is considering a proposal to recall retired Supreme Court Justices to sit on cases when a current Justice must recuse him or herself. [National Law Journal]

* Now comes the part where the lawyers try to convince 9/11 first responders to take the money. [Daily News]

* Richard Epstein on BP. [Wall Street Journal]

* If, as we mentioned yesterday, no-fault divorce does make it to New York State, it could mean an end to lying. [New York Times]

* Judge refuses to place a gag order on Rod Blagojevich. [ABA Journal]

* Obama’s Oval Office BP speech was aimed at a 10th grade level — and it was still too “professorial” for average Americans. That sound you hear is King George III laughing his ass off at Thomas Jefferson and his “educated” populace. [CNN]

A BP Potpourri: Legal Links and Updates

By David Lat

BP: 'Make us!'

Obama: 'Plug the damn hole.'

Not many people are happy about the massive BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico — with the possible exceptions of (1) Elena Kagan, whose confirmation to the Supreme Court is all but guaranteed (since everyone’s too distracted to oppose her); (2) the lawyers who are getting work out of this disaster (as discussed below); and (3) whoever is behind the fake BP Twitter account, which currently has over 167,000 followers.

But today brings some news that might make some people a little less angry at BP. Even though the government probably couldn’t have forced the oil giant to set up a $20 billion fund to pay oil spill claims, for the reasons explained by Professor David Zaring, BP is setting up such a fund voluntarily. The New York Times reports:

The White House and BP agreed on Wednesday that the oil giant would create an independent $20 billion fund to pay claims arising from the worst oil spill in American history.

Bowing to pressure from the Obama administration, the company also said it would suspend paying dividends to its shareholders for the rest of the year and would compensate oil field workers for lost wages.

There are actually several legal angles to the BP drama. For example, who will administer this massive fund? And which firms are getting a piece of all the defense-side action?

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Non-Sequiturs: 06.16.10

By Elie Mystal

* Oil isn’t the only thing Transocean is looking for offshore. [Going Concern]

* You can’t have sex with your clients. At least not when you lie to prison guards and tell them that an inmate is your client and she’s not and you have sex with her in the interview room. [Blogonaut]

* The “Mommy Track” derails many a would-be partner. [The Careerist]

* Since the paperless office never happened, maybe we can all get behind the officeless office? [Legal Blog Watch]

* Apparently Ted Olson drew applause for his closing during the Prop 8 trial. [San Jose Mercury News]

* I will not like this Justin Bieber, not with a lemur, not with a fever. I do not like this JB man. I do not like him, Sam-I-Am. [WSJ Law Blog]

Paging All Bankruptcy Lawyers….

By David Lat

Are you a bankruptcy attorney who needs to empathize more with your clients — e.g., by declaring bankruptcy yourself? Check out this job posting — which won’t be our Job of the Week anytime soon — courtesy of that gold mine of employment opportunities, Craigslist:

Bankruptcy Attorney Position (Dallas)

Small Consumer Bankruptcy firm in Dallas looking for new associate attorney. 50-60 Hours per week, with some travel to Fort Worth required. Salary: $40,000.

If “travel to Fort Worth” is required, you need to add another zero to that salary. This is not the kind of income that will help you pay off massive educational debt (non-dischargeable in bankruptcy, at least for now).

But wait, there’s more….

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Law Professors: If You’re Not Part of the Solution Then You’re A Huge Freaking Problem

By Elie Mystal

Usually when we talk about the crushing price of legal education, we focus on law school administrations who are raising tuition even as the legal economy continues to falter. Occasionally, we look at prospective law students themselves — a group of people who are evidently too addled to act with rational self-interest. Always, the American Bar Association’s utter failure to regulate law schools on behalf of aspiring lawyers looms as the 800-pound gorilla that keeps taking a dump in the middle of the room.

Rarely, if ever, does the media turn its gaze towards law professors and their culpability in the epic scam of taking money from kids who don’t know any better and will never be able to pay off their debts. Most law professors don’t set tuition rates. They don’t determine the scope of loan forgiveness programs. They don’t mislead the world via U.S. News in order to pad employment stats. Hell, most of them aren’t even directly engaged in recruiting the next class of minnows that will keep the scam alive. All they do is teach, research, and take as much money as the market will offer.

But Washington University law professor Brian Tamanaha thinks that his professorial colleagues need to step up to the plate and start taking some responsibility for what is happening to law students — especially law students at low-ranked law schools. He says that professors can no longer turn a blind eye to the sadness of their students….

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In-House Counseling: Go Climb a Mountain

By The People's Therapist

Ed. note: This post is written by Will Meyerhofer, a Biglaw attorney turned psychotherapist, whom we profiled. A former Sullivan & Cromwell associate, he holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work. He blogs at The People’s Therapist.

My patient was telling me about his new job.

On the face of things, there was nothing to complain about. He’d hated his old firm — a Biglaw institution that he called “soulless.” The new place, a New York City-based securities boutique, was different. The people were smart – practically cosmopolitan by comparison. And for the first time, he wasn’t being treated like a junior. They respected his judgment – no one was correcting his work.

I offered congratulations.

He looked thoughtful, and I asked what was wrong.

“This is going to sound crazy.”

“Crazy is my business. Try me.”

“I didn’t want to get this job. I was hoping the old place would fire me.”

“Okay. Why?”

“I wanted to be free.”

He’d gone so far in pursuit of his secret fantasy of getting fired that he’d planned a trip to India and investigated moving to Oregon, where an old friend lives. He had money saved up, and was ready to apply for unemployment and sell his apartment. It was all worked out. He was going to escape – to chase a dream of living near the mountains and surrounding himself with laid-back, creative people.

Now – by a stroke of luck – he was sitting in another big city law firm, earning a large salary, continuing with his career.

He had nothing to complain about – but he was crushed.

The problem was simple. He was going nowhere – or, at least, nowhere he wanted to be.

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Harvard Student v. Border Patrol

By Elie Mystal

Those in favor of hunting down illegal immigrants who come to this country looking to better themselves will probably view this story as a victory. They’ll skip right past the part where we find out that the illegal immigrant in question came to this country when he was four. Instead they’ll accuse this guy of “taking” a spot that should have gone to a deserving American.

A spot at Harvard University…

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Lawyers of the Day: Ted Wells and Marty Flumenbaum?

By David Lat

Our typical Lawyer of the Day is an attorney you’ve never heard of, from a firm you’ve never heard of. It’s highly unusual for LOTD honors to go to a pair of legal titans, two of the nation’s leading litigators: Ted Wells (pictured) and Marty Flumenbaum, the co-chair and former chair, respectively, of the celebrated litigation department at Paul Weiss.

It appears, however, that the honors are deserved. The New York Law Journal reports:

A New Jersey judge has sanctioned two firms, Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison and Lowenstein Sandler, for pursuing a “frivolous” and “ridiculous” legal claim on behalf of billionaire Ronald Perelman against his 85-year-old ex-father-in-law [Robert Cohen]….

Superior Court Judge Ellen L. Koblitz ruled that Perelman’s attorneys should have known that the claim was unsupportable. “No competent attorney could have missed the frivolous nature of this promise claim once the unhelpful testamentary documents were received,” Koblitz said in ordering the sanctions last Wednesday. “There was no legal or factual basis for the plaintiffs to proceed with their amended complaint given the evidence they had and the state of the law in New Jersey.”

Ouch — quite the stinging benchslap. The Garden State hasn’t seen such a slugging since the first season of Jersey Shore.

And other marquee names got dragged into this mess — a pair of high-powered lady lawyers, in fact….

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Career Center: Show Me The Money

By Above the Law

Career Center AboveTheLaw Lateral Link ATL.jpgThe results of the 2010 ATL Career Center Associate Satisfaction survey are in, and they are part of the all new Career Center, powered by Lateral Link. Over the next few weeks, we will be highlighting insider information shared by Career Center users.

Today, it’s all about the money — compensation. Tell us about the comp structure at your firm — click here to take our short survey.

  • This firm is known for its “entrepreneurial culture,” but is a follower when it comes to bonus amounts, with only a "few stars get[ting] . . . above-market" bonuses.
  • This "incredibly well managed law firm” has not jumped on the non-lockstep compensation bandwagon and still provides strictly lock-step salaries and bonuses.
  • This Texas-based firm has announced it will be moving to a hybrid-lockstep compensation system in 2010, but awarded "better-than-expected" bonuses in 2009.
  • This Washington, D.C.-based firm cut starting salaries to $135,000 in January 2010 but also unfroze previously frozen mid-and senior-level associate salaries.  
  • This firm unfroze salaries in January 2010, awarded year-end market bonuses, and made good on its earlier promise to repay lost 2009 salaries as additional year-end, make-whole bonuses.

Additional compensation highlights, which will interest readers who are either (1) researching firms to work for or (2) involved in setting comp at their own firms, appear after the jump.

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Bullfighter Arrested for Cowardice Breach of Contract

By Elie Mystal

Toreador, En garde ... Et songe bien, oui, songe en combattant Qu'un oeil noir te regarde!

In America, nonperformance on a contract usually involves a failure to deliver goods or a failure to pay. In Mexico, apparently contract law covers a failure of courage. The ABA Journal reports:

Gored by a bull in a previous match several months ago, Mexican bullfighter Christian Hernandez lost his nerve and bolted from the ring ahead of a charging bull on Sunday, dropping his cape along the way…

But his escape from the charging animal left him vulnerable to legal action.

After his inglorious exit from the ring, Hernandez was arrested for breach of contract, jailed, and ordered to pay a fine.

And yes, there’s video…

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Morning Docket: 06.16.10

By David Lat

Obama: 'Plug the damn hole.'

* Last night, in his first Oval Office address, Obama called for fast Senate action on proposed energy legislation and announced the appointment of a former Justice Department lawyer to overhaul the Minerals Management Service. [Washington Post]

* Attorneys general from 30 states are talking about launching a joint investigation into Google’s improper collection of private data from Wi-Fi networks. [Bits / New York Times]

* A pipe bomb is found on the SUV belonging to a white-supremacist lawyer currently facing federal charges of trying to kill his wife (the driver of the SUV on the day the bomb was discovered). [Spokane Spokesman-Review via ABA Journal]

* Lady Kaga plays well with others: 69 approximately 70 law school deans have endorsed Elena Kagan for the Supreme Court. [Washington Post]

* No-fault divorce may soon be coming to New York. [New York Times]

* Lots of lawyers and law firms are trying to break into show business. [Am Law Daily]