Legal Eagle Wedding Watch, like the rest of the nuptial media, is in a state of giddy anticipation over Chelsea Clinton’s upcoming wedding, scheduled for tomorrow in Rhinebeck, NY. We’ll be gobbling up all the juicy details as they leak out, just like the lucky guests will be devouring the vegan and gluten-free fare. Yum!

Chelsea’s big day is one of the social events of the season and is estimated to have up to a $2 million pricetag. This week’s featured weddings may not quite reach that stratospheric territory, but they do have lawyers out the wazoo (unfortunately, neither Chelsea nor her fiancé has a JD; her parents, of course, have two).

Our contestant couples:

1. Farah Peterson and Eugene Sokoloff

2. Julia Lipez and Nolan Reichl

3. Lauren Sasser and Scott McCulloch

Read on for details on these fabulous newlyweds.

1. Farah Peterson and Eugene Sokoloff
Buy them a Dutch oven.

The Case:
- These two met at an alumni event for Phillips Academy Andover, so right away you know they’re upper-crust. The rest of the profile doesn’t disappoint: undergraduate degrees from Yale (her) and McGill (him), a master’s from Princeton (her), and now Yale Law School, where they just completed their first year.

The Case Against:
- Their picture is a little awkward (it’s hard to evaluate their eyebrow placement, for example, because they’re sitting so far apart). The write-up bears out this impression. He was “very surprised by her pursuit” of him at the alumni event, and they nurtured their fledgling long-distance relationship by “read[ing] ‘The Brothers Karamazov,’ together, he in Russian and she in English, and compar[ing] notes.” We’re just not sensing a lot of passion here.

2. Julia Lipez and Nolan Reichl
Buy them a teapot.

The Case:
- An embarrassment of Article III riches! This beaming bride is the daughter of First Circuit Judge Kermit V. Lipez. Julia graduated magna from Amherst, earned a JD, with distinction, from Stanford, and clerked on the Fourth Circuit for Judge Diana Gribbon Motz. She’s now an associate at Wilmer.
- Nolan was summa at NYU and has a JD from Stanford. Before law school, he worked for Governor Edward Rendell of Pennsylvania, and after law school he clerked for Third Circuit Judge Marjorie Rendell, the governor’s wife (and a superhottie of the federal judiciary). Nolan’s currently an associate at Covington & Burling.

The Case Against:
- Judge Rendell officiated at the couple’s ceremony, with Judge Lipez signing the marriage certificate. How was that negotiated, we wonder? And where was poor Judge Motz — handing out programs?

3. Lauren Sasser and Scott McCulloch
Buy them a dessert plate.

The Case:
- Very nice credentials for this wholesome-looking couple. The groom looks like Andy Bernard from the office, but he went to Dartmouth and has a JD, cum laude, from Harvard. The bride graduated from Brown, and although her JD is only from Fordham, she graduated cum laude and has a clerkship on the Second Circuit with Judge Denny Chin (a Fordham alum himself).

The Case Against:
- Scott is an associate at Kobre & Kim, which according to its website is “a firm of trial lawyers, not litigators.” Whatever. They also sternly warn that “We do not engage in time-consuming pre-trial jousting that is not material to victory.” Oooooh, shiver. We get it, dudes. You’re intense and all about winning, unlike every single other law firm in the world.

The Verdict:
- Julia Lipez is no Chelsea Clinton, but her dad was a Clinton appointee. And like Chelsea and her groom, Julia and Nolan both have degrees from Stanford. We think they’re this week’s clear winners. Congratulations, newlyweds!