Bad Ideas, Gay, Lawsuit of the Day, Lawyerly Lairs, Real Estate, Sex

Lawyerly Lairs: Did a Realtor Use an Attorney's House for Gay Sexcapades?

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This story — which could also qualify as a Lawsuit of the Day — is fine, funny Friday fodder. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports:

Adam Bunge, an attorney, and his wife, Sarah Bunge, a Lutheran pastor, put their Maple Grove home up for sale and headed off to London this year for a four-month “work holiday.”

While they were gone, they allege in a lawsuit filed last week, their real estate agent used their house and possessions for “unauthorized sexual escapades,” staining their sheets, couch, carpet and other surfaces….

“It feels like we have been violated in every sense of the word,” Adam Bunge said in an interview.

The Bunges weren’t the only ones who were “violated.” In every room of the house. And it got pretty messy up in there….

So what exactly went down, allegedly?

Bunge said he first learned of a problem when his next-door neighbor e-mailed him in England, “saying there was some weird stuff going on at our house the night before.” A group of neighbors had noticed a bedroom light on and knocked on the door to investigate.

[Real estate agent Steven Curtis] Skar answered and explained that he was cleaning for an open house the next day and would be gone in 15 minutes, the neighbor told Bunge. Skar left the house with another man, according to neighbors, Bunge said.

The neighbors sensed something wasn’t right. With Bunge’s permission, a neighbor and one of Bunge’s relatives entered the house the next day and found the mess….

And boy was it a mess. The sexcapades claimed a few victims:

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A brown leather sofa, two nearby chairs and two end tables appeared to have been recently stained or soiled. A stairway rug was similarly soiled, as were the sheets in the master bedroom.

A witness described the scene as “gross, nasty.” But query whether one man’s “nasty” is another man’s “fun.”

And here’s the cherry on the sundae:

Used towels were strewn around the bathroom.

An open bottle of lotion was in the kitchen.

Okay, that’s just plain RUDE. Please seal the bottle of lube after each usage.

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Based on the allegations, the state revoked Steven Skar’s real estate license. Skar did not contest the finding that he engaged “in non real estate-related activities for over four hours without permission, knowledge or consent of the homeowner.”

“Non real-estate related activities”? So that’s what they call it these days. “[F]or over four hours”? Give a bro some credit — that’s impressive.

Skar, through his attorney, denies the allegations of the lawsuit. But his former employer, the Coldwell real estate firm, appears to admit some of them. According to Kelly Hadac and Daniel Haws of St. Paul, who are representing Adam and Sarah Bunge, Coldwell acknowledged the “unauthorized sexual escapades” — and spent almost $7,500 to clean the house, change the locks, and “replace all soiled items.”

Over seven grand? That must have been quite the orgy. Another disturbing detail: Coldwell paid to get Sarah Bunge a new negligee. We don’t even want to think about why that needed replacing….

Since returning home in June, the family has tried to sleep in the house but found they couldn’t stomach it. Instead, they’ve stayed with friends and relatives and are closing on a new house next week. “It doesn’t feel like it’s our home anymore,” Bunge said.

C’mon, Adam — isn’t your wife a minister? Can’t she perform a “sexorcism” or something?

Is the Bunges’ disgust for Skar’s alleged activities rooted in homophobia? Not at all, Bunge claims:

“I don’t care what anyone does in their bedrooms,” he said. “My wife and I have marched in gay pride parades in Chicago. She was in her Lutheran pastor collar. I would have been repulsed if this was a heterosexual couple doing the things that they were apparently doing in my marital bed.”

We’re repulsed too. If only Steven Skar were cuter!

Did real estate agent play while owner was away? [Minneapolis Star-Tribune]

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