Lat’s away and I’m recovering from Halloween. But here’s a little news for our friends in New England.
Approximately 1,800 people have informed us that the MA bar results are arriving in the mail this weekend. Most of you who took the MA bar should know if you’ve passed by now. Congratulations.
If you didn’t pass, fear not. It’s Halloween, you should take out your frustrations on neighborhood kids:
“Trick or treat? Bring it on. I just pissed away $100,000 and three years of my life for the opportunity to take an amazingly stressful test which I just bombed. That’s a freaking trick. There’s not enough toilet paper in all of Star Market for you play a worse trick on me than I’ve already done to myself.
In short, no, you’re not getting any damn candy. Better you learn sooner rather than later that nobody gives you anything in this world.”
We’ve been keeping an eye on Andrew Shirvell, the Michigan attorney who has been conducting a personal crusade against Chris Armstrong, the University of Michigan student body president who happens to be gay. At the beginning of this month, we learned that Shirvell was taking a leave of absence from his day job in the Michigan Attorney General’s office. We also know that Armstrong has sought a restraining order against Shirvell.
Today, we’ve received word that Armstrong is requesting that Shirvell be brought before the bar on ethics charges. Finally. There’s got to be some kind of ethical rule that prohibits lawyers from gay bashing college kids, right?
You know what scares me? There’s a version of my career where I end up as the bizzaro version of Tucker Max. The “fat, black, and married” version of Tucker Max. The “other guy” who used douchebag behavior to get through elite institutions, just like Tucker Max.
It’s like, if I everything goes wrong for me but I end up with a book and a movie deal, I’ll be a Tucker Max clone. It’s not likely, but the mere possibility of it keeps me up at night. I’m a nice guy, really, I am. I’m not nice to, like, people or anything, but I have a good soul. I don’t want to be the black Tucker Max! And I’m not.
But then I read things like Max’s latest tweet, and I think “Dear God, is that what I could become?”…
The 2L won’t speak to reporters, but school officials claim they caught him during a “sting” operation. The kid would resell the library books online, so school officials order a book from him, and place a hidden camera in the stacks next to the book. When he went to retrieve the requested copy: bang, busted.
To put the crime in context, the $10K this kid allegedly made off of reselling library books is less than a quarter of the expected budget one Ohio resident is expected to pay for the right to attend Moritz College of Law. Just throwing that out there as something for people to think about…
I’m being embezzled by this monstrous ring of accountants, estate planners and lawyers who are mercilessly slandering me and trying to kill my career and, I believe, murder me in order to gain control of my royalties.
I hate this holiday. I hated this holiday as a kid for personal safety reasons. As an adult, it’s pretty clear that Halloween has devolved into nothing more than an excuse for girls to dress up as sluts and guys to be racist. That’s what it is, the one day where everybody can get away with their inappropriate or insensitive fantasies (unless you are Prince Harry).
The problem is, not everybody is on the same page. For instance, if I see a person dressed up as a “tribal chieftain” in some kind of get up that would be offensive on any other day of the year, I laugh it off. In exchange for my restraint, when I see a girl dressed up as “Booberella” I’m going to make lecherous comments I’d normally save for when she was out of ear shot. Quid pro quo, mofos; I’ll put my cards away if you lay down yours.
But not everybody thinks like me. So be careful out there this Halloween. For you edification, the Connecticut Employment Law Blog has compiled a list of horrors from Halloween past….
I already mentioned this in Morning Docket, but the issue deserves a full post. A little girl of 4-years-old barreled her bike into an old lady on a Manhattan sidewalk.
The 87-year-old woman broke her hip, and subsequently died.
Despite being just four-years-old at the time of the accident, State Supreme Court judge Paul Wooten ruled that a negligence suit could go forward against the child. Apparently, children under four are presumed to be incapable of negligence, but if you are over four you are capable of being an idiot.
So we’ve got a 4-year-old, an 87-year-old, a bike with training wheels, and the sidewalks of New York. Where do your sympathies lie?
One unintended consequence of the terrible legal job market is that we’ve got law students running around with a lot of time on their hands. They’re not preparing for callback interviews, they’re not eagerly anticipating new legal challenges. Instead they’re sitting around, bored and terrified, and lashing out at whatever they can.
Mostly, they lash out at each other. Sometimes, it’s their Student Bar Association or their faculty. Occasionally they’ll even take shots at their own law school.
But now they’ve gone too far. A group of law students at Suffolk University Law School put together a guide on how to sue Santa Claus. Here’s the note one of the law students sent me:
At our law school (like so many others), we have been chilled by the lack of employment in the legal industry, potential clients and lucrative future prospects. So we figured: f*** it. If we’re going down, we’re bringing everyone down with us. First on our list is the fattest, jolliest figure we could find: Kris F***** Kringle.
Some of you will find this funny, but you are bastards who will be getting nothing but coal in your stockings. Me, I’ve been a good boy and I full expect to collect my PRO-guitar this holiday season. So I wash my hands of this tomfoolery.
As the immortal Herkermer Homolka would say: “Have your laughing, and I will have mine”…
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please note that Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney are still in Hong Kong and will stay FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS WEEK. We still have a handful of available slots for meetings with our Asia Chronicles fans. If we have not been in touch lately, reach out and let us know when we could meet! There is no need for an agenda at all. Most of our in-person meetings on these trips are with folks who understand that improving a legal practice through lateral hiring is an information-driven process that takes time to handle correctly.
Regarding trends in lateral US associate hiring in Hong Kong, we of course keep much of what we know off of this blog. Based on placement revenue, though, Kinney is having one of our most successful years ever in Asia. We are helping a number of our law firm clients with M&A, fund formation, cap markets, project finance, FCPA and disputes openings. These are very specific needs in many cases, so a conversation with us before jumping in may be helpful. As always, we like to be sure to get the maximum number of interviews per submission, using a well-informed, highly targeted, and selective approach, taking into account short, medium and long-term career aims.
Making a well informed decision during a job search is easier said than done – the information we provide comes from 10 years of being the market leader in US attorney placements at the top tier firms in Asia. There is no substitute for having known a hiring partner since he/she was an associate or for having helped a partner grow his or her practice from zip to zooming, and this is happily where we stand today – with years of background information on just about every relevant person in all the markets we serve, and most especially in Hong Kong/China/Greater Asia. So get in touch and get a download from us this week if we can fit it in, or soon in any case!
The legal industry is being disrupted at every level by technological advances. While legal tech entrepreneurs and innovators are racing to create a more efficient and productive future, there is widespread indifference on the part of attorneys toward these emerging technologies.
When the LexisNexis Cloud Technology Survey results were reported earlier this year, it showed that attorneys were starting to peer less skeptically into the future, and slowly but surely leaning more toward all the benefits the law cloud has to offer.
Because let’s face it, plenty of attorneys are perhaps a bit too comfortable with their “system” of practice management, which may or may not include neon highlighters, sticky notes, dog-eared file folders, and a word processing program that was last updated when the term “raise the roof” was still de rigueur.