Archive for October 2010

  • 31 Oct 2010 at 1:03 PM
  • Bar Exams

Massachusetts Bar Results

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Lat’s away and I’m recovering from Halloween. But here’s a little news for our friends in New England.

Approximately 1,800 people have informed us that the MA bar results are arriving in the mail this weekend. Most of you who took the MA bar should know if you’ve passed by now. Congratulations.

If you didn’t pass, fear not. It’s Halloween, you should take out your frustrations on neighborhood kids:

“Trick or treat? Bring it on. I just pissed away $100,000 and three years of my life for the opportunity to take an amazingly stressful test which I just bombed. That’s a freaking trick. There’s not enough toilet paper in all of Star Market for you play a worse trick on me than I’ve already done to myself.

In short, no, you’re not getting any damn candy. Better you learn sooner rather than later that nobody gives you anything in this world.”

Happy bar results day and happy Halloween.

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.29.10

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* More on how home owner’s insurance policies and New York’s negligent supervision laws will dictate what happens to the bike riding four-year-old girl. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

* You think I’m crazy for not being able to get by on $25oK? I’m doing better than Nic Cage. [Concurring Opinions]

* Start creating a niche for yourself, as early as possible. Sorry, Four Loko blogger is already taken. [Lawyerist]

* Rhyming, benchslapping judges. [Legal Skills Prof Blog]

* Here are some thing 1Ls can do to take their minds off of the terrible job market. [Legal Diversions]

* A take off of the So You Want to Go to Law School video, examines the presidency. [Holy Hullabaloos]

It’s About Time: Disciplinary Action Sought Against Andrew Shirvell

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We’ve been keeping an eye on Andrew Shirvell, the Michigan attorney who has been conducting a personal crusade against Chris Armstrong, the University of Michigan student body president who happens to be gay. At the beginning of this month, we learned that Shirvell was taking a leave of absence from his day job in the Michigan Attorney General’s office. We also know that Armstrong has sought a restraining order against Shirvell.

Today, we’ve received word that Armstrong is requesting that Shirvell be brought before the bar on ethics charges. Finally. There’s got to be some kind of ethical rule that prohibits lawyers from gay bashing college kids, right?

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Tucker Max Gets Sued By Duke Law

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You know what scares me? There’s a version of my career where I end up as the bizzaro version of Tucker Max. The “fat, black, and married” version of Tucker Max. The “other guy” who used douchebag behavior to get through elite institutions, just like Tucker Max.

It’s like, if I everything goes wrong for me but I end up with a book and a movie deal, I’ll be a Tucker Max clone. It’s not likely, but the mere possibility of it keeps me up at night. I’m a nice guy, really, I am. I’m not nice to, like, people or anything, but I have a good soul. I don’t want to be the black Tucker Max! And I’m not.

But then I read things like Max’s latest tweet, and I think “Dear God, is that what I could become?”…

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Ohio State 2L Been Caught Stealing

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I’ve talked a lot about how law schools rip off law students, so I guess I can’t be surprised when a law student tries to turn the tables.

Reports coming out of Ohio today tell us that a 2L at the Ohio State Moritz College of Law has allegedly been stealing and reselling library books; $10,000 worth of library books.

The 2L won’t speak to reporters, but school officials claim they caught him during a “sting” operation. The kid would resell the library books online, so school officials order a book from him, and place a hidden camera in the stacks next to the book. When he went to retrieve the requested copy: bang, busted.

To put the crime in context, the $10K this kid allegedly made off of reselling library books is less than a quarter of the expected budget one Ohio resident is expected to pay for the right to attend Moritz College of Law. Just throwing that out there as something for people to think about…

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Quote of the Day: I also think they abused him… sexually.

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I’m being embezzled by this monstrous ring of accountants, estate planners and lawyers who are mercilessly slandering me and trying to kill my career and, I believe, murder me in order to gain control of my royalties.

– Randy Quaid, elaborating on his earlier claim that he needs asylum in Canada to escape “Hollywood Star Whackers,” via the ABA Journal.

Halloween Harassment

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Don't pull a Prince Harry this Halloween.

I hate this holiday. I hated this holiday as a kid for personal safety reasons. As an adult, it’s pretty clear that Halloween has devolved into nothing more than an excuse for girls to dress up as sluts and guys to be racist. That’s what it is, the one day where everybody can get away with their inappropriate or insensitive fantasies (unless you are Prince Harry).

The problem is, not everybody is on the same page. For instance, if I see a person dressed up as a “tribal chieftain” in some kind of get up that would be offensive on any other day of the year, I laugh it off. In exchange for my restraint, when I see a girl dressed up as “Booberella” I’m going to make lecherous comments I’d normally save for when she was out of ear shot. Quid pro quo, mofos; I’ll put my cards away if you lay down yours.

But not everybody thinks like me. So be careful out there this Halloween. For you edification, the Connecticut Employment Law Blog has compiled a list of horrors from Halloween past….

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Job of the Week: Tired of the NYC Corporate Grind?

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This week’s Job of the Week is for people who want of the NYC Biglaw grind. Sure the money, the excitement, the smells(!) are to die for, but at some point you’d actually like to be able to buy a house right….maybe even have a yard?

Lateral Link employs recruiters throughout the U.S. who specialize in helping NYC associates find greener pastures. Today’s Job of the Week is calling for NYC corporate associates to come to the Nation’s Capital. We know, we know, it’s not that much cheaper, but you could have a yard.

Position: M&A/ Private Equity Associate

Description: Top D.C. corporate practice combines high-end deals with a social, collegial atmosphere. Practice has an opening for an M&A attorney with 4+ years of experience. Experience with mergers and private equity desired. Candidates must have excellent academic credentials and top law firm experience.

If you are currently a Lateral Link member please see position #6510 on the Lateral Link site. If you are not a Lateral Link member, you can sign up for free at www.laterallink.com. If you are interested in this position, please contact Jordan Abshire at jabshire@laterallink.com.

4-year-old Speed Racer Gets Sued

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I already mentioned this in Morning Docket, but the issue deserves a full post. A little girl of 4-years-old barreled her bike into an old lady on a Manhattan sidewalk.

The 87-year-old woman broke her hip, and subsequently died.

Despite being just four-years-old at the time of the accident, State Supreme Court judge Paul Wooten ruled that a negligence suit could go forward against the child. Apparently, children under four are presumed to be incapable of negligence, but if you are over four you are capable of being an idiot.

So we’ve got a 4-year-old, an 87-year-old, a bike with training wheels, and the sidewalks of New York. Where do your sympathies lie?

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Morning Docket: 10.29.10

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* Haliburton — already responsible for a cartoonish level of evil — knew the cement used in the BP Deepwater Horizon well was flawed. [American Lawyer]

* Four-year-old girl can be sued for racing her bike — and killing an elderly woman. [ABA Journal]

* FCC tells Verizon exactly how much they owe the government. [BLT: Blog of the Legal Times]

* Judge issues a restraining order on an ASU student who tweeted a threat to punch another student in the face. [ABA Journal]

* Every morning I wake up, I say a little prayer for the economy. [New York Times]

A Guide to Suing Santa Claus

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One unintended consequence of the terrible legal job market is that we’ve got law students running around with a lot of time on their hands. They’re not preparing for callback interviews, they’re not eagerly anticipating new legal challenges. Instead they’re sitting around, bored and terrified, and lashing out at whatever they can.

Mostly, they lash out at each other. Sometimes, it’s their Student Bar Association or their faculty. Occasionally they’ll even take shots at their own law school.

But now they’ve gone too far. A group of law students at Suffolk University Law School put together a guide on how to sue Santa Claus. Here’s the note one of the law students sent me:

At our law school (like so many others), we have been chilled by the lack of employment in the legal industry, potential clients and lucrative future prospects. So we figured: f*** it. If we’re going down, we’re bringing everyone down with us. First on our list is the fattest, jolliest figure we could find: Kris F***** Kringle.

Some of you will find this funny, but you are bastards who will be getting nothing but coal in your stockings. Me, I’ve been a good boy and I full expect to collect my PRO-guitar this holiday season. So I wash my hands of this tomfoolery.

As the immortal Herkermer Homolka would say: “Have your laughing, and I will have mine”…

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.28.10

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I see London, I see France, I see Christine's sexual past.

* For all of you fantasizing about hooking up with Christine O’Donnell, here’s how it would go down. [Gawker]

* I’m not sure how you follow up a link which includes a story about Christine O’Donnell’s… carpet. But here’s a very funny pleading that went down this summer. [Lowering the Bar]

* She-Hulk is #3 on the list of greatest cartoon lawyers. But if ladies are looking for a last minute Halloween costume, I still think “ladybug” is going to be the winning idea. Just get really drunk and hit on people you’ve known for five minutes. [California Law Report]

* How to tell if you are a beta associate at your law firm. Well, for starters you’re probably getting your roommate’s sloppy-seconds in the form of Christine O’Donnell. [Last Day at the Office Emails]

* Larry Tribe takes a shot at Sonia Sotomayor. You see, one night Sonia came over to Larry’s house and asked him out to a Halloween party… [WSJ Law Blog]

* The Government is set to require “career colleges” to disclose graduation and job placement rates, but not law schools? What the hell is going on here? It’s like the government is taking off its panties, but declaring it intends to stay a virgin. Who pulls that crap? [New York Times]