Caption Contests, Contests, Lawyer Advertising, Pictures, Reader Polls, Technology, United Kingdom / Great Britain, Weirdness

Best Law Firm Website Photo: Caption Contest

By David Lat

onOctober 13, 2010 at 12:09 PMJuly 26, 2011 at 2:40 PM

On Friday, we showed you what might very well be the best law firm website photo of all time. It came to us from the other side of the pond (where it had been noticed by RollOnFriday).

We solicited possible captions, with preference given to ones that would constitute alternative bios for the lawyer in question. You gave us a few good ones, so we decided to turn them into a caption contest….

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Here’s the photo in question, part of the bio for David Spencer, a real estate lawyer at the British firm of Bower & Bailey:

And here are the eight finalists (the ones that received the most “likes” from readers in Disqus):

A. Born October 8, 2010, David Spencer will be of average appearance with an aptitude for language arts but merely average scores in mathematics. He will be sheltered by his parents, leading to moderate social awkwardness and introversion, naturally directing him to creative pursuits rather than athletics in his K-12 career. He will study in a college of arts and sciences in a respectable but not Ivy League institution and go on to post-graduate work in a slightly more respectable but not Ivy League institution. He will find employment with a large corporation or nonprofit and, within one to three years, decide in a misguided search for meaning, relevancy and self-validation, to attend a respectable but not Ivy League law school, where he will graduate in the top 15% of this class before realizing that a legal career no longer offers any of what he seeks, if it ever really did. He will incur a heartbreaking amount of debt.

This is David’s chair. We’ll be waiting, David. We’re always here, waiting.

B. David Spencer has seen so little sunlight since working at our firm that he has redefined law-firm-pale by becoming seemingly transparent. Among David’s interests are coming to the office naked on casual Fridays (as pictured) in light of his newly found transparency.

C. Our firm does not require face time. See?

D. keep the whole bio and add the following at the end: “…. Mr. Spencer is also an heroic autobot, sworn to protect humanity from the evil Decepticons, who takes the form of a chair.”

E. Stealth layoffs claim another victim.

F. Herman Miller is the chair of the Associate Morale Department at Biglaw Firm.

G. “First Chair Experience”

H. Greetings from the Pincus Family Law Firm… on a weekend.