Archive for October 2010

Lawyerly Lairs: McDermott Will Move to New D.C. Digs

By David Lat

500 North Capitol Street (click to enlarge).

One of our odd obsessions around here: real estate. Just take a spin through our Lawyerly Lairs archives, which chronicle the adventures of attorneys in the world of real property, residential and commercial. We may not be as real obsessed as the folks over at Curbed, but we’re getting there.

As a former resident of Washington (2006 to 2008), I take a particular interest in D.C. developments. And not just litigation between law firms and burger joints.

So I was interested to learn about McDermott Will & Emery’s big move — to a building that will be named after the law firm. How many law firms get naming rights?

(Not many. The most prominent example might be the Paul Hastings Tower in Los Angeles, which had a cameo in the Transformers movie.)

News of MWE’s move even made the pages of the Washington Post….

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Hopes for Collecting $1M for Streaking in front of Obama Could Shrivel

By Elie Mystal

The Verrazano Bridge to Staten Island -- the orignal "bridge to nowhere."

Don’t you hate it when rich people try to welsh on a bet? British billionaire Alki David dared somebody to streak — that means “running while naked and probably drunk,” if you’ve never been to college — in front of President Obama. Alki said he’d give the person who streaked in front of the president, with the name of Alki’s website emblazoned on his or her body, the tidy sum of $1 million.

Somebody from Staten Island (why am I not surprised) performed the feat (or substantially attempted to perform the feat) during an Obama event in Pennsylvania. Now Alki is considering hiding behind the law to avoid payment.

This must be how rich people get rich: make outlandish promises, then use fancy law talk to avoid payment…

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Starting a law firm: What would you do if you had only 30 days to chase your dream?

By Above the Law

Joe Trabucco and Stephen Menard spent more than twenty years building a flourishing litigation practice. To escape conflicts and adjust their rates to reflect the prevailing market, it became clear that for the benefit of their clients, it was time to leave Biglaw and strike out on their own. If they wanted to preserve the support of their key client, they had a window of only 30 days between trials to successfully launch Trabucco & Menard.

To get started they did what any good attorney would do: research. Quickly they amassed a task list that was long and unmanageable. They knew that they needed to put together a business plan, an IT platform, an HR and benefits program, a finance and accounting system, and a hundred other things – but they didn’t know how to get it done. They needed help.

“Once we found NexFirm, things started to come together” said Stephen Menard. “They helped us put together a business plan and offered us all of the operations and administrative solutions we needed. When we shared our launch plans with our clients, they were impressed and supportive of this strategy. It really put my mind to rest.”

As soon as they gave notice to their employer, the unthinkable happened: Joe found himself in a family health crisis that had him in the hospital day and night attending to his loved ones. (Thankfully, things have improved). Without his participation in the launch effort, Steve really had a lot on his plate. Nonetheless, Joe & Steve opened the doors to their new firm, Trabucco & Menard, 30 days later. double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Starting a law firm: What would you do if you had only 30 days to chase your dream?”

Morning Docket: 10.13.10

By Morning Dockette

* These laptop webcam spies aren’t facing criminal prosecution; instead, they’re settling to make the problem go away. [CNN]

* The Supreme Court has agreed to decide whether your jealous wife is a terrorist or just a crazy bitch. [Washington Post]

* And speaking of crazy bitches, the Supreme Court’s decision in this childhood vaccination case might make would-be litigious moms like Jenny McCarthy very happy. [National Law Journal]

* Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan’s Article 32 military hearing has begun, which will determine if he will face the death penalty at a court-martial. [New York Times]

* Law firm Manatt Phelps & Phillips LLP earned itself a five-year ban from NY pension appearances after skirting securities laws. Seriously? [Bloomberg]

* “Yay, Pot!” California’s Prop 19 will legalize marijuana and cure all of society’s ills as an added bonus. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The Obama administration is appealing key gay marriage decisions in Massachusetts. His stance on this issue reminds me of that Katy Perry song. [Reuters]

The Princeton Review Law School Rankings Are Out. Find A Category to Make Your School Look Awesome.

By Elie Mystal

It’s always a little underwhelming when the Princeton Review Law School Rankings come out. Unlike U.S. News, Princeton Review ranks schools by categories instead of an all-in numerical ranking. So it’ll tell you which law school has the “best career prospects” or the “best classroom experience,” but it won’t tell you which law school is the G.O.A.T once you factor in everything.

More annoyingly, the rankings are based in large part on student surveys. Do you particularly care that students at Vanderbilt rate their career prospects slightly better than students at Harvard? ‘Cause I don’t — which is perhaps the only thing I have in common with a Supreme Court justice.

This year’s rankings seem more useless than ever before. In the initial press release, Princeton Review announced that Brown had the best law professors in the land. Brown. Apparently Princeton Review is now being written by John Grisham. Faculty Lounge captured a screen shot of the initial inaccurate release (now corrected).

But rankings are rankings, and it’s always fun to discuss them. I mean, Princeton Review has U. Penn Law rated as the law school with the best career prospects. I’d ask Penn grad Marin what she thinks about that, but she’s busy pushing a shopping cart full of cans to the grocery store to augment her ATL pay.

Let’s take a look at some of these lists. Hilarity is sure to ensue….

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Biglaw Beats Back Burgers: Steptoe Steps on Dupont Circle Burger Emporium

By David Lat

Steptoe pwns burger joint.

This afternoon brings some major news for hamburger lovers in the nation’s capital. In the lawsuit brought by Steptoe & Johnson against Rogue States Burgers, in an effort to stop Rogue States’ rogue smells from infiltrating law firm airspace, Big Law has triumped over big beef patties. Judge John M. Mott of D.C. Superior Court just ruled that the burger fumes from Rogue States must be abated immediately.

Judge Mott ordered Rogue States to stop its grilling operations by the end of today. Due to the unavailability of easy solutions to the smell problem — an alternate ventilation plan has been nixed by the building landlord — Judge Mott “effectively issued a death sentence for the Dupont Circle burger joint,” as noted by Tim Carman of the Washington City Paper.

A disconsolate reader emailed this reaction to us: “sad. i am pleading to obama, burger lover president, to intervene.”

(Don’t hold your breath. Despite his willingness to talk to them without preconditions, Obama isn’t known for his love of Rogue States. We’re not talking about Ben’s Chili Bowl.)

It would be easy to snark on a large white-shoe law firm — represented by another large law firm, Pillsbury Winthrop — going to court to beat up on a local burger joint. But Steptoe might be a more sympathetic plaintiff than some might think….

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.12.10

By David Lat

* Judge Phillips (C.D. Cal.) has suspended enforcement of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Or: “Virginia Phillips has made her decision; now let her enforce it.” [Metro Weekly]

* A new law review article, by Michael Macchiarola (my fellow Regian) and Arun Abraham, looks at the higher education bubble — and proposes “a derivatives-based approach to stemming the runaway educational costs and improving the value proposition for American students.” Who says derivatives are always evil? [SSRN]

* Jeffrey Toobin interviews Columbia law professor Tim Wu, author of the forthcoming and buzz-generating book The Master Switch, about the tendency of communication industries to move from chaos to consolidation / monopoly. [Currents / New Yorker]

* Ashby Jones interviews Monet Pincus, the South Carolina family law practitioner behind the “we don’t work weekends” website. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The attorneys in a class action against Classmates.com are asking for what amounts to an 895% contingency fee. George Mason law professor Michael Krauss, represented by Ted Frank, is objecting to the proposed settlement. [Center for Class Action Fairness via Overlawyered]

* To any of you with juice on Wikipedia, would you please weigh in against paring down the List of law clerks of the Supreme Court of the United States to just “notable” clerks? It’s a very valuable resource. And every member of The Elect is “notable.” [Wikipedia Talk]

Bullying Shouldn’t Be A Crime, No Matter How Many Kids Kill Themselves Because of It

By Elie Mystal

This zone... does not exist.

They had to set the Karate Kid remake in China. If they had set it in modern-day America, Daniel-san would have been mercilessly bullied by the kids from Cobra Kai, he would have killed himself, and the rest of the movie would have been a courtroom drama where Daniel’s parents sought to bring the evil sensei to justice in the form of a multi-million dollar civil suit.

You see, American children apparently have become so fragile, and Americans parents so litigious, that schoolyard bullying is as likely to be settled in a court of law as it is behind a dumpster out back where boys used to handle their disagreements. I used to tell my mother that nobody ever died from embarrassment, but apparently I was wrong. The ABA Journal reports that there’s been a veritable outbreak of children committing suicide in Ohio because they were hounded by mean kids. And that story doesn’t even take into account the Tyler Clementi situation.

And when kids kill themselves, parents are increasingly turning to the courts to stand up to the bullies in a way that used to be accomplished via a flush crane-kick to the face.

It needs to stop. No, not the bullying — which is unavoidable when more than one male competes for whatever status/prestige/sex is on offer — but the tragic overreactions to the bullying, and the accompanying rush to the courthouse steps.

I say this not as an alpha-male with a caviler attitude towards the feelings of others. I say this as a former omega-male who got the crap beat out of me like I stole something from the age of 7 through the point I realized that no girl would ever mate with a guy who couldn’t basically stand up for himself….

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David J. Stern, the Florida Foreclosure King, Is Under Investigation — and Doing Layoffs

By Morning Dockette

Back in September, we wrote about David J. Stern, “Florida’s Foreclosure King,” who earned our Lawyer of the Day title for his ascendancy from the fourth tier to the lap of luxury. At the time, we sang Stern’s praises. Stern, a graduate of South Texas Law, employs 900 people, made $17.8 million in 2008, owns $60 million in real estate, and collects yachts.

Thanks to the New York Times, we knew back then that Stern may have been a shady character. But we kind of brushed off those pesky little questions about his “ethics” and “questionable practice methods.” I mean, come on, how many lawyers can say that they drive a Bugatti?

Well, maybe we shouldn’t have overlooked these issues so quickly…

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Career Center: Associate Morale Survey Results – Part 1

By Above the Law

Go... Firm!

A key issue for the workplace, both during recession and recovery, is employee morale. In last week’s survey, we asked Biglaw associates how current associate morale at their firms compares to morale from one year ago.

For those of you who need a quick refresher on what the fall of 2009 was like, envision a time when the majority of the massive associate bloodletting had ended, but firms were still reeling from the aftermath; salary freezes and cuts were the trends du jour; and associates who were lucky enough to receive 2009 bonuses saw drastic reductions from the previous year. Could fall 2010 possibly be any more demoralizing for associates?

Find out, after the jump.

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Wildman Harrold Bars the Doors: Enforces 90-Day Notice Period on Partners Who Want Out

By Elie Mystal

Does Wildman Harrold force its partners to take a blood oath? The story ripping around the blogosphere today involves Wildman Harrold enforcing a 90-day notice period on a group of partners who want to leave the firm for Barnes & Thornburg.

What is the upside in forcing colleagues to stay who don’t want to be there anymore? That’s unclear.

But the downside should be obvious. Letting it get to this point is like putting up a big red sign to potential future partners at Wildman that reads: “If you ever leave us we’ll do everything we can to screw you.” Wildman might not be at the boiling rabbits stage, but it’s pretty easy to get a reputation as that crazy chick nobody wants to date.

Of course, to hear Wildman tell it, nothing unusual is going on here, the firm is just following its procedures…

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Quote of the Day: Preacher Wants IRS to Make His Day

By David Lat

Dear God, please allow the IRS to attack my church, so I can take them all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.

– Iowa pastor Cary K. Gordon, who is campaigning against three Iowa Supreme Court justices who voted for same-sex marriage, even though tax-exempt churches are prohibited from campaigning for or against specific political candidates.

A Sign of Improvement in the Chicago Legal Market?

By David Lat

The economy is (hopefully) on the mend. The recession is officially over.

There are signs of recovery in the legal sector, too. For example, law firms are giving away iPads to young associates. Such generosity seems very 2007 (if iPads had existed back then).

Meanwhile, in the less glamorous world of Craigslist postings of legal jobs, things are also improving….

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If You Hire Miami Law Students, The School Will Pick Up The Bill

By Elie Mystal

Say this for the University of Miami Law School: it tried to warn its own students that there were too many of them. Remember, back in 2009, Miami actually deferred incoming 1Ls. The class was oversubscribed; too many people wanted to go to law school. Dean Patricia White even told prospective students: “I urge you to think hard about your plans and to consider deferring enrollment.”

But still they came. And now, there are no jobs for them. What, are we supposed to feel sorry for them? The law school basically came out and told them that things were terrible. It told them to stop and consider before blindly running to law school.

Now, Miami is trying to get employers to hire these students for free. Yes, we’ve seen this before. This program is similar to SMU’s Test Drive program. But Miami’s program is a little bit better (this post has been updated with stipend information)…

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Morning Docket: 10.12.10

By Morning Dockette

* The road to hell foreclosure is paved with good intentions… and fraudulent paperwork. [Wall Street Journal; DealBook / New York Times]

* A 9/11 first responder is the first to sue the Park51 mosque’s imam, citing ties to terrorism. [New York Post]

* Thanks to the First Amendment, you soon might be able to lie your unpatriotic ass off about being a war hero. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Looking for a place to slip and fall? With $50 million in settlement payouts, D.C. seems like a good city to do it. [Washington Post]

* Ex-CHiPs star Larry Wilcox has made a comeback in crime drama, but not exactly the kind that he expected. [DealBook / New York Times]

* In the Second Circuit, lawyers don’t need to have “known better” when suing over their student loan contracts. [Am Law Daily]

* Pro-life crisis centers in NYC will be forced to terminate their pregnancy scams if this new legislation passes in the City Council. [Wall Street Journal]

Lawsuit of the Day: Pass the Wooden Dildo, Please

By David Lat

John Bisnar and Brian Chase, of Bisnar Chase


We first mentioned this lawsuit, which was filed back in August, last month (second item). But so many of you have emailed us this AOL news story that we’ve decided to provide more detailed coverage.

It’s a lawyer versus lawyer lawsuit, usually the ugliest kind of litigation. But the allegations made here are perhaps more bizarre than ugly.

If you can handle claims of naked men engaging in hand-to-weiner contact, while sitting on tree stumps and passing around a wooden dildo — I think glass is more classy, but to each his own — then keep reading….

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Non-Sequiturs: 10.11.10

By David Lat

Molly Wei

* Professor Larry Lessig’s review of The Social Network. [New Republic]

* Dahlia Lithwick’s review of the big new Brennan biography, by Seth Stern and Stephen Wermiel. [New York Times]

* Molly Wei, one of the two Rutgers students involved in the Tyler Clementi case, feels “attack[ed]” — but she’s hanging in there. [Celebitchy]

* Reports of a hunter’s death may have been greatly exaggerated, but they don’t entitle him to a defamation award. [Courthouse News]

* “Thinking of a Career in Law? Hahaha!” (Or: the U.K. legal market sounds a whole lot like ours.) [Charon QC]

* Can a lawyer use publicly available information on Facebook in a pending case without friending the person? [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Vanderbilt law professor and leading class-action scholar Richard Nagareda, R.I.P. [TortsProf Blog]

In This Market You Don’t Have to Try That Hard to Get People to Work For You

By Elie Mystal

It shouldn’t be that hard to find a qualified legal secretary. Actually, in this market, you can probably find a J.D. who will gladly answer phones and make copies for the chance to do anything with “legal’” in the title.

But the firm of Minor & Brown, a small law firm based in Denver, still put its best foot forward when advertising for a legal secretary opening at the firm.

And it’s one weird-ass foot. Nobody is going to mistake Minor & Brown for your grandfather’s law firm. Just take a look at their ad…

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Quote of the Day: She’s No Miss Congeniality

By David Lat

At a big law firm you are doing so much mindless work and so much suck-uppery. And I am not a suck-up kind of person.

– Ann Coulter, conservative pundit and former Cahill Gordon & Reindel associate.

Taj Oladiran’s ‘Motion of the Year’ Earns Him Sanctions

By Kashmir Hill

tajudeen-oladiran.jpgArizona attorney Tajudeen “Taj” Oladiran came onto our radar back in 2009, when he filed one of the craziest motions we’ve ever seen. Solo practitioner Oladiran, a former associate at Greenberg Traurig, filed a racketeering lawsuit against “Suntrust Bank and its pimps” for allegedly suckering him into predatory housing loans.

The motion that caught our eye — “Motion for a [sic] Honest and Honorable Court System” –  was filed to vent Oladiran’s frustration with the “dishonorable” Susan Bolton, whom Taj called “a brainless coward.” That would be the same Susan Bolton who, in a not-so-cowardly move, blocked part of Arizona’s controversial immigration law.

Taj ended the motion:

Finally, to Susan Bolton, we shall meet again you know where. :-)

Not only did Taj get our Motion of the Day nod with that, he earned Motion of the Year honors.

The Arizona court system was less impressed with the motion, though. There, it earned Taj a threat of disbarment…

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