Especially if those drugs are found in your ass. Which is what happened to a Florida man over the weekend…
I had my own uncomfortable encounter with law enforcement over the weekend. I innocently walked into the middle of a number of officers executing a search warrant on someone else’s apartment. Luckily, I was in engaged in only legal recreation. Unluckily, I didn’t smell like it. But it all worked out fine (shout-out to the good people at the Manhattan D.A.’s office). Who says cops and prosecutors can’t be reasonable?
Things might have turned out very differently for me this weekend if I had “illicit substances” on my person. Or in my person. WESH Orlando reports on what at first seems like a classic “drug mule” situation:
Deputies stopped the 25-year-old [Raymond Stanley Roberts] Wednesday in Bradenton for speeding. Officers say they smelled marijuana and searched him. That’s when they allegedly found a bag of marijuana between Roberts’ buttocks.
Officers then discovered another bag in there; the report says it contained 27 pieces of rock cocaine.
But here’s the kicker. According to Manatee County deputies, Raymond Stanley Roberts told them:
“The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is.”
In fairness, who among us can truly say they’ve never innocently had rock cocaine shoved up their butt? Let he who has an untrammeled ass snort the first line.
Man Says Weed In Buttocks Is His, Cocaine’s Not [WESH Orlando]