In the comments earlier today, I remarked that it feels like law students are gearing up for finals. You can just tell. We’re getting more and more psuedo-substantive legal arguments that only look at one side of the issue, but are said as if the commenter is some kind of expert in whatever law he or she is talking about.

It’s cute. I really like this time of year. It’s like watching chicks frantically trying to learn how to fly before the flock has to migrate south.

[Cue David Attenborough voice] While it appears that the youngsters are having fun and games, this is a time of deadly seriousness for the students. Nerves are getting frayed; passions are inflamed. In the American South, we have an example of just what can happen when two law students collide over proper social etiquette at a time when ‘A’s are scarce. At a place called Florida State University College of Law, a missed assignment sent two dominant females into the arena called “Facebook”….

The set-up for the snarkfest below is pretty simple. A tipster reports:

I came across an interesting scenario that shows just how similar law school and high school are. Our professor assigns student to be “on call” on particular dates. The professor distributed a chart at the beginning of the semester that told student which day they would be “on call.” Today, when the professor called on the first person assigned to be on call today, the girl was not in the room. So, the professor called on the second girl. Apparently the second girl got pretty frustrated about the first girl not showing up at the beginning of class (thus causing the professor to call on the second girl). The second girl made a post on Facebook about her frustrations. The girl who didn’t show up saw the post and commented, thus beginning the cat fight.

I particularly like the part where the boyfriend of the girl who was prepared for panel shows up to defend his lover from the other girl. But I also like it when a pack of hyenas is menacing a few lionesses, until the lion shows up and sends the hyenas cackling away. Nature is truly beautiful.

(Oh, and don’t worry, Florida State females: with the help of our new contributor, Ami, we’ve redacted all the names and photos and photoshopped tasteful nicknames in their place.)

Enjoy — and remember, kids, if you kill a classmate within a 48-hour window around your final exam, it counts as a crime of passion and you’ll get off. (Just kidding. Really, it was a joke, please do not kill each other.)

UPDATE: Dear Florida State Law students and others who know Ms. Prepared and her friends: There is no need to out the people involved in this thread in our comments. Please do not do that. Please do not mention real names, fake names that are substantially similar to real names, or pictures of the subjects. At Above the Law, we try to protect the anonymity of law students (once they working in the professional environment, they’re fair game).

But law students are wee babes. We can laugh at their antics without knowing precisely who they are.

And if you don’t like that olive, you can have the branch. I’ve already deleted identifying comments. If I see them again, the users will be banned.


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