Biglaw, Fabulosity, Holidays and Seasons, Parties

Holiday Party Open Thread: What Did (or Will) Your Firm Do This Holiday Season?

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Last night, we gave you a little recap of the ATL holiday party — if you will forgive the expression — that PLC and ELR Search sponsored. Wow. Some of you commenters are really mean, especially after Kash takes out a restraining order against you. Your clever use of ouchy words really did a number on us here at ATL. I had to use my orbital ass to block out the moon last night to keep Ami from turning into a werewolf. I thought everybody would be over it by morning, but when I came in Marin was using a size 4 sweater as a full sleeping bag and our CEO was selling off Breaking Media equipment on Ebay while screaming “No, not again, I’ll not be ruined the internet bubble a second time!”

Just kidding — we know you say these things out of love, the love the rest of polite society denies you because of your various deformities. Pitiful commenters of darkness, what kind of life have you now? God give me courage to show you, You are not alone.

In fairness, there was only one comment last night that really pissed me off. It was the first one: “If you attended this you are a LOSER and need to GET A LIFE.” Really buddy? Coming out for free drinks and free food on a random Wednesday, if you read a blog — a blog you yourself read so intently that you are FIRST to comment on it — makes you a “LOSER.” Really?

Whatever. Winners, a class of people I think “Guest” knows nothing about, should be able to come and hang out at the humble holiday party thrown by a blog they read if they want to.

And then they should also be able be wined and dined at a proper holiday party, thrown by their employers. And employer-sponsored holiday parties, especially when the employers are large law firms, should be so extravagant that “Guest” gets paid time-and-a-half to serve drinks while successfully breathing through his nose instead of his mouth.

Were they? Or was this yet another year of recession-affected law firm holiday parties?

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One comment from a reader at the ATL holiday party disturbed me. The reader said, “This is better than what my firm is doing.” I laughed, but I was thinking, “That’s just wrong.”

We’re all very grateful that you read our website. But you work thousands of hours for your employers. Sure, they pay you a nice salary for that effort, and yes, you’re not entitled to anything. But come on, it’s the holiday season. Time for lights, and trees, and Mariah Carey bubbling out of a Santa suit, and Wyclef Jean showing up to sing your praises (as he recently did at DLA Piper). Surely your firms are treating you (and themselves) to a little more than an “everybody come to the cafeteria and mingle uncomfortably for an hour” event?

All right, I get it, times are still tough. And I know there are probably a few managing partners reading this post right now andt thinking, “Screw you, Elie. The minute we throw a big-time holiday party again, ATL will be ALL OVER US for ‘partying while bonuses died’ or ‘spreading the wealth while staff suffer.’ So you can just shut up or I’ll stuff you like a goose.” I get it, MPs and CEOs, it’s hard out here for a pimp.

But what about the departmental parties? You know, not the firm-wide affairs, but like when the white-collar defense group rents out the back room in small, fancy place, and the eight partners and 15 associates end up crying and then having a gay orgy of happiness because the group made so much money over the year. Surely that’s going this year, right?

Let us know, in the comments. Because right now the holiday parties we’re hearing about are restrained and downright depressing — firm cafeterias and kitchenette meet-ups, as if it was a secretary’s birthday. It’s like the whole thing has turned into an Acura commercial.

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Let’s bring it back to good. What fabulous venue hosted your holiday party? What delicious food was served? What amazing entertainment was provided? Tell us all about the best employer-sponsored event you’ve been to this holiday season, in the comments.

(And if you have scandalous tales of holiday party high jinks — preferably true this time — you can also email us. Thanks.)

Gone Till December? Wyclef Plays Monday Afternoon Show at DLA Piper’s NYC Office
[Am Law Daily]

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