* A lawyer named Conn created a 3D commercial for potential clients. Too bad his target audience will be purchasing new hips before 3D televisions. [Florida Times-Union]

* Normally, you’d end up in the doghouse if you didn’t attend a loved one’s funeral, but Bernie Madoff’s throwing his family a bone on this one. [DealBook / New York Times]

* “And then I felt a sharp jabbing pain into my rectum.” That’s what she said. Actually, that’s what he said. What’s with the NYPD and sodomy? [Wall Street Journal]

* Another day, another “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” lawsuit. Yes, I just totally dropped a DADT bomb after a story about sodomy. I went there, that happened. [Washington Post]

* You’d think that the Calorie Commando would hire some healthier hobos to kill his wife, but these guys just wanted pizza, beer, and tequila. [CNN]

* You better not question Rahmbo’s amended 2009 tax return. He will f**king end you. You will never even see it coming, motherf**ker. [NBC Chicago]


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