As we approach the BCS National Title game, we expect to hear some strange requests from lawyers who are also fans of either Auburn or Oregon. For instance, last year we saw a cleverly written motion to continue from an Alabama lawyer who wanted to see his team play for the title. I expected to see more of the same this year.
I did not expect an attorney who is devoted to the Oregon Ducks to take things to the next level. But then I saw Ryan Tharp’s Craigslist ad. His plan is to watch the game on Monday and then head to Vegas to celebrate (he’s sure he’ll be celebrating).
And the young lawyer wants to have the “entire” Vegas experience — replete with a drunken wedding, preferably to a belle from the defeated fanbase…
When I first read the ad (it’s been up on Deadspin for a bit but I just saw the ad in my inbox), it made me think of a victorious tribesman trying to decide which vanquished woman would be his prize and sex slave. Tharp isn’t going that far — he’s a lawyer, he knows our modern rules — but if you are an Auburn lady who longs for the days when women were treated as trinkets, this seems like a low-cost way of experiencing that.
Here’s the ad, in full:
Oregon Fan seeks Auburn Hottie for Short-term Vegas Marriage – 25 (Portland, Oregon/Las Vegas, Nevada)
Fact: January 10th, 2011 the Oregon Ducks will crush the Auburn Tigers.
It’s true…and I’m willing to bet on it. In fact, I’m so confident in the Duck’s kickass ability, that I would wager my most prized possession: my first marriage. That’s right. You can be the first woman I walk down the aisle with, my first I Do, and the first woman to be Mrs. Ryan Tharp. However, as always, there is a catch. I am 25-years old, I love life, love to travel, love my Ducks, and am in no way, shape, or form ready for any sort of committed anything. Accordingly, our marriage will need to be annulled the next day. That’s where the bet comes in.
I, along with several buddies, will be celebrating the Duck victory in Vegas from January 11th-14th. During that extravaganza, I plan on taking in the entire Vegas experience, including marrying a stranger. If you are cute enough, spontaneous enough, and an all around cool chick….let’s get hitched. Loser of the bet has to pay the annulment costs. So, if you are going to be in Vegas after the National Championship, believe in your Tigers, and want to have stories to tell your grandchildren (won’t be mine) then shoot me an email…with a pic! We can even get cool mugs with our picture on it.
If you want to know a little about me, I have my Facebook and Twitter links below. In short, I’m a huge Duck fan, have my own place in Portland with my English Bulldog Winston, just graduated law school, and am pretty low-key. Let’s do this, and GO DUCKSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Here are some more pics of what Ryan has to offer:
Is anybody tempted? He seems attractive enough. And for what it’s worth, ladies shouldn’t fool themselves. If you’ve ever had sex with a man right after his team won a championship, you were a trophy f**k that night. Whatever your general relationship was with that man, on that particular night all he was thinking was: “You know, the only thing that would make this victory better was if I was boning somebody right now. Hey you, you there, you [wife/girlfriend/waitress/hooker], do you wanna be f***ed by a champion?”
Personally, I don’t think I could get over the “being vanquished” thing. But then again, I’ve never even been out on a date with a Republican, much less a Yalie, much less a Yalie conservative in the aftermath of something bad happening to Harvard liberals. I just couldn’t deal. But maybe you can?
In terms of his legal career, it seems like Tharp is well on his way. This is a pretty good client solicitation letter — he’s not promising more than he can deliver.