Morning Docket: 02.01.11

* I wish my creepy landlord spied on me. I’d be $326,000 richer after paying off my law school loans. [FloriDUH / Sun-Sentinel]

* Why deal with civil unions in Illinois before massive budget issues? Because the gays know how to plan a party, so kiss that deficit goodbye. [Chicago Tribune]

* Halle Berry is preparing for a custody battle. Most readers won’t care about this story because it doesn’t involve Halle Berry’s boobs. [New York Daily News]

* “Widener already offers Delawareans an elite, first-rate law school.” Cocaine’s a hell of a drug. [Delaware News Journal]

* Maybe Toshiba is paying its women less because they’re like the company’s computers — always acting up and giving blue balls screens. [Reuters]

* If you have to pay AT&T more money to access iFart on your iPhone, then I say it’s a fair deal. I’m a girl and even I think that’s awesome. [CNET]

* Will kicking Obamacare to the curb be our new “Sputnik Moment”? Wait, did Russia get rid of their socialist healthcare system before we did? [U.S. News]

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