Courtship Connection: Gentlemen Bros Prefer Blondes

Well, well, well. After a string of miserable failures unsuccessful matches, I’ve finally introduced two lawyers in Washington, D.C. who both filed motions with me for a second date.

So how’d I do it? Throwing a blonde lawyer into the mix helped…

Conservative lawyers in their late 20s who cited Scalia as their favorite justice, they both gave me generic self-descriptions. He said he was “tall, funny, and loves to travel,” and she said she “loves fun, wine, and food.” There can be no possible friction (of the disagreeable variety) here, I thought to myself.

I sent these two life-loving Elephants to Iron Horse (at his suggestion) on a Thursday night. Tall, manly Elephant emailed me two hours beforehand to ask that the date be pushed back from 6:30 to 7 due to “fires at work”:

Work got pretty busy so I emailed Kash at about 4:30 asking if we could push to 7:00 – and shortly after she replied that was ok with [Fun-Loving Elephant]. I took this as a good sign – reasonableness is always a good quality in a date.

Yes, agreed. Flexibility is an asset in a romantic partner.

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Tall Elephant got there 15 minutes early and ordered a drink (a “wheat beer” — not Blue Moon, we hope). Unfortunately, the place was packed, due to a Lady Gaga concert happening next door at the Verizon Center. He was looking for a woman with a red bag…

Many of the girls were holding red bags, so I headed to the wall to think things through. I ended up talking to two girls there – told them the whole story – how I was looking for a blind date, arranged by someone I had never met, all via a website for lawyers (they found this pretty funny btw) and all I knew was that she had a red bag. They agreed that this was not much information to go on, but also pointed out that if she was there looking for me she probably was not looking for a guy talking to 2 girls and I should go “make the rounds.”

Good advice. Flirting with women who are not your blind date doesn’t seem like the best way to start the evening.

I decided this was a good idea and made the rounds downstairs – and saw nothing. By now it was like 7:15.

I went upstairs and saw a cute blonde girl sitting by herself near the door with what appeared to be a red bag. We made eye contact, decided we were who the other was looking for, and headed back downstairs.

Phew. Fun-loving Elephant says:

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Iron Horse has two stories (not the best setup for finding a blind date!), and after walking around both stories and not seeing anyone in an “odd shade of green” shirt, I waited on the top story by the door. Eventually, after like 20 minutes, a guy in a black jacket walked over by the door. We made eye contact, and I saw a little sliver of a green shirt underneath the jacket and realized this was him. Wearing a jacket over the only identifying information he gave you was not his smartest move!

Luckily, being charming is more important than being smart on a first date. She says:

He was very friendly, and we sat at the bar downstairs and had some drinks. After a couple of hours, we were both starving, so we went to Bar Louie for nachos. I felt bad because I am getting sick, and I was coughing non-stop. I was also losing my voice, so I’m pretty sure that he had no clue what I was saying by the end of the night (which may or may not have been a good thing!).

Luckily, being blonde is more important than being healthy. He says:

The conversation flowed pretty free and easy I felt. I found it cool and sexy that she was into golf – if it ever becomes spring in DC I think that would be an excellent follow-up date.

Thank you for confirming the stereotype of what conservative lawyers do on dates. (Third date idea: there’s a firing range in Fairfax.) He says:

I think overall when you end a date sharing food, that’s a good sign. We left. She was hopping in a cab and I was slumming it on the metro. We shared a quick sort of side hug and wished each other a good night.

Side hug sounds a little awkward, but both said they had a great time. She says:

He was really nice, funny, and easy to talk to. We had quite a bit in common – we both studied abroad in London, love playing blackjack, and my favorite player, Tebow, plays for his favorite team, the Broncos. We tried to figure out why you set us up with each other, and the only thing we could come up with was that we are both republicans. Neither one of us could really remember our responses to the questionnaire though. We discussed why we signed up for this little experiment and both agreed that it sounded like a fun thing to do. I honestly was not expecting much, especially given your prior track record, but I was pleasantly surprised! We exchanged numbers at the end of the night, and I think we will try for date #2.

Lowered expectations are a wonderful thing. He says:

I like her and would definitely like to see her again. She is cute and blonde (which is always a plus for me) but she is also very easy to talk to and seems pretty chill.

I’m interested to see her side of things on Kash’s post and hopefully Kash has finally gotten one of these right!

Finally. I was having quite the dry spell.

(I must admit that I had previously paired our blonde female fun lover with a different Courtship Connection, but he dropped out. Perhaps I’m better the second time around.)

Earlier: Prior installments of ATL Courtship Connection


Kash is an editor emeritus of Above the Law. She now spends her days at Forbes writing about privacy, technology and the law at The Not-So Private Parts. For a background on the creation of ATL Courtship Connection, see “My Weird Hobby: Matchmaking Lawyers.”