Under normal circumstances, Lady Gaga can do no wrong in my eyes. After all, she’s done a lot for me. When I was sad, she advised me to just dance, because it would be okay. When I was drunk, she reminded me that I can’t text with a drink in my hand. When I was in court, she made sure I didn’t let anyone read my poker face.
Today, however, Lady Gaga has let me down. Today, Lady Gaga is disobeying her own mantra, because instead of being a queen, she’s just being a drag. Today, my friends, Lady Gaga has threatened to sue a company that sells human breast milk ice cream.
Why does she want to sue, you ask?
Lady Gaga wants to sue for trademark infringement and passing off because this titillating treat has been named “Baby Gaga.” At The Icecreamists, the London ice cream shop where the breast milk ice cream was created, the dish is served in a martini glass and infused with liquid nitrogen by a Lady Gaga impersonator.
In a cease and desist letter, Lady Gaga’s lawyers at Mishcon de Reya have given The Icecreamists until Wednesday to change the name of the product. Although Lady Gaga is an outrageous fashionista who once wore a gown made entirely of meat, her lawyers claim that “associating the Lady Gaga mark with a food product which may be unsafe for human consumption is highly detrimental.”
Lady Gaga’s little
monsters lawyers go on to state that the breast milk ice cream is “deliberately provocative and, to many people, nausea-inducing.” Matt O’Connor, Icecreamist’s founder, suggested that some people might feel the same way about Lady Gaga’s music:
She claims we have “ridden the coattails” of her reputation. As someone who has plagiarized and recycled on an industrial scale the entire back catalogue of pop-culture to create her look, music, and videos, she might want to re-consider this allegation….
As for her assertion that our product is distasteful, perhaps she should reflect on her blood-spurting performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, or the fact she wears clothes fabricated from the flesh of dead animals. We have applied to register the trademark Baby Gaga and are confident we’ll secure this.
O’Connor added, “She also seems to have forgotten that since the dawn of time the word ‘gaga’ has been one of the first discernible phrases to come from a baby’s mouth.”
Alas, within just days of the ice cream hitting the market, the Westminster City Council pulled the product from The Icecreamist’s shelves due to the nasty viruses that can be transmitted through breast milk, like hepatitis. O’Connor maintains, however, that the breast milk ice cream is held to the “highest and safest” food standards.
So, is Lady Gaga crying over spilled breast milk? Does she have a real trademark claim here? Are the women contributing the breast milk for the ice cream actually hot?
Feel free to answer these important questions in the comments. (You seemed to enjoy the last intellectual-property hypothetical we gave you.)
One from the chest freezer: Restaurant sells breast milk ice cream [Daily Mail]
Lady Gaga threatens “Baby Gaga” breast milk ice cream with suit [CBS News]
Gaga: You breast stop copying me [New York Post]
Lady GaGa to Sue Breast Milk Ice Cream Makers [The Hot Hits]
Lady Gaga eyes legal action over breast milk ice cream [Yahoo! News]