Paris Hilton

Maybe it’s time for us to have a national conversation about legalizing drugs. It’s interesting to see how many folks in charge of enforcing and administering our nation’s drug laws seem to have drug problems themselves.

We all recall the sad story of former federal judge Jack Camp. After years of sending offenders off to prison for narcotics offenses, ex-Judge Camp pleaded guilty to drug offenses of his own. He was sentenced to 30 days in prison — less time than what Paris Hilton got.

And speaking of Paris Hilton, it seems that one of her former prosecutors — a top drug-crime prosecutor in Las Vegas — was just arrested.

For what? For drugs….

It went down over the weekend, as reported by the Las Vegas Review-Journal:

A Clark County prosecutor assigned to some of Las Vegas’ most high-profile drug cases was arrested Saturday after police say he bought crack cocaine from a street dealer. David Charles Schubert, 47, was arrested Saturday and booked on a possession of cocaine charge, according to jail records….

Schubert, a chief deputy district attorney, recently prosecuted the Bruno Mars and Paris Hilton celebrity drug cases.

David Schubert

When reached for comment on Schubert’s arrest, Paris Hilton said “That’s hot,” and Bruno Mars crooned, “F**k you, David Schuuu….”

Actually, they didn’t. But the lawyer who represented Hilton and Mars when they were prosecuted by Schubert, David Chesnoff, did comment — and graciously declined to gloat. “I’m a big believer in the Constitution,” Chesnoff said. “I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I always root for the underdog.”

And it seems that Schubert is the underdog, at least in the eyes of his (soon-to-be-former?) boss, Clark County District Attorney David Roger: “It’s disheartening to know the individual who I assigned to prosecute high-level drug cases is allegedly using rock cocaine.”

Disheartening indeed. Crack may or may not be wack, but it’s rather low-rent. Keep it classy, Mr. Schubert, and stick to powder.

Being a state prosecutor might not pay that well, but you are still a lawyer. You’re a professional; your drug of choice should be as white as your starched dress shirt’s collar.

(Also, based on the fact that you drive a BMW and own two homes, you can’t be doing that badly for yourself.)

Might this be some kind of misunderstanding? Maybe a sting operation gone horribly awry?

Unlikely, according to TMZ, which obtained the police report:

Schubert, who was busted Saturday night, had gone to a notorious area of Vegas Saturday night. Schubert, who was driving a BMW, stopped and cops observed a male get inside his car.

The two began driving and cops were suspicious, after the passenger got out of the car, went into a an apartment complex and came back out. When Schubert allegedly committed a traffic violation, cops made their move and stopped the vehicle. The passenger got out and ran, and was subdued after a foot chase.

The passenger then snitched Schubert out, telling cops Schubert would come by 3 to 4 times a week and use him to purchase $40 worth of cocaine at a time. The passenger says Schubert would call periodically to ask if anyone was selling narcotics….

Cops observed a “white, rocklike substance” in the car and it tested positive for cocaine.

District Attorney Stern told TMZ that Schubert “is in the process of being terminated.” Stern had previously told the Las Vegas Review Journal that Schubert’s future with the DA’s office was “bleak.”

But Schubert’s future as a memoir writer might be brighter (assuming these allegations are actually true). The story of a celebrity drug prosecutor who himself suffers from drug addiction is the stuff that bestselling memoirs are made of. Schubert should take a page from the playbook of New York Times reporter David Carr and follow this plan:

1. Experience crack-fueled fall from grace.
2. Write critically acclaimed memoir about crack-fueled fall from grace.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!!!

And don’t forget the movie rights too. Hollywood loves prosecutors, and it loves people who struggle with but ultimately overcome their personal demons (like alcoholism or drug addiction or stuttering).

The role of David Schubert sounds like total Oscar bait. Does anyone have casting suggestions?

High-profile drug case prosecutor Schubert arrested on cocaine charge [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
Paris/Bruno D.A. Allegedly Scored Coke 4X a Week [TMZ.com]
Clark County Prosecutor, David Charles Schubert, Arrested for Cocaine Possession [Las Vegas Legal Life]


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