Does anybody really want to see grandma in this?
I have to do something I hate doing. I have to give Gloria Allred some publicity. Sure, I have to mention her only in order to say that I think she’s wrong and using the plight of women to further her own fame. But I still have to mention her, which is what she wants. It’s a great system she’s set up for herself: she wins even when people talk about how ridiculous she is.
But I can’t ignore Allred here because now she is messing with something near and dear to my heart: scantily clad cocktail waitresses in Atlantic City. That’s right, I live on the East Coast. That means I can’t easily get to Las Vegas or New Orleans. That means occasionally I have to go get my gambling fix in A.C. If you’ve never been to Atlantic City, imagine Vegas after the apocalypse: everything is broken and rundown and more desperate-looking. It’s pathetic. And you feel pathetic while you are there (until you start hitting some points and the table gets hot and you find yourself nailing a hard ten and it feels like the whole casino gives you a high five).
One casino was doing something about that depressing ambiance. It was getting rid of all of its old cocktail waitresses. Believe me when I tell you that this is an important move. Imagine sitting in A.C. down a grand at 4 a.m. and starting to think to yourself if there is any Swingers potential and then your watered-down drink comes back only it’s brought to you by a woman old enough to be your grandmother. And so instead of trying to figure out how to have sex with the waitress, you’re sitting there kind of thinking of how your mother would disapprove if she saw you in that moment. It’s enough to make you want to kill yourself.
It’s certainly enough to make you want to stop gambling. And now along comes Gloria Allred, trying to tell people that 50-year-old cocktail waitresses at casinos are still sexy, and can’t be fired….
Continue reading “Women Are Not Sex Objects; Cocktail Waitresses, On The Other Hand….”
Rachel Brand
* High-powered litigatrices on the move: Rachel Brand and Kate Comerford Todd, two fabulous members of The Elect, are joining the National Chamber Litigation Center — where they will contribute to the Chamber’s impressive track record of litigating against excessive regulation. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]
* Was it Anthony Weiner’s wiener that went out over Twitter? The congressman isn’t saying. [Daily Caller via Instapundit]
* Professor Sasha Volokh floats the intriguing idea of prison vouchers: “What would the world look like if, instead of assigning prisoners to particular prisons bureaucratically, we gave them vouchers, good for one incarceration, that they were required to redeem at a participating prison?” [Volokh Conspiracy]
* Dance protests aren’t allowed at the Jefferson Memorial, but might they be coming to Apple stores? [TaxProf Blog]
* An update on “don’t ask, don’t tell” developments. [Metro Weekly]
* This should be interesting: disgraced ex-judge Sol Wachtler tells all. [92YTribeca]
* A moving Memorial Day edition of Blawg Review. [Securing Innovation via Blawg Review]
If Oprah had a book club for summer associates, you can bet the following reading materials would be on that list (in addition to Above the Law). While I am sure extra reading is the last thing you want to do after long days (and nights) of working and schmoozing at the firm, the items identified below provide great insight into subjects a savvy summer associate should be on top of.
For extra credit, consider forming a summer book club with your classmates and/or fellow summer associates, read some of the material suggested below, and take some time to discuss. The following reading recommendations are brought to you by Lateral Link’s Frank Kimball, an expert recruiter and former Biglaw hiring partner.
Now on to the reading….
Continue reading “Career Center: Essential Reading for the Summer Associate (Because You Don’t Read Enough Already)”
Here are a couple of things I learned last week:
1) Above the Law readers love commencement train wreck stories.
2) Emory Law students feel picked on.
Armed with this new information, I bring you stories of commencement ridiculousness at schools with student bodies mature enough to take a little scrutiny.
Graduation has come and gone at Yale Law School and Harvard Law School. And while most Yale and Harvard graduates have jobs lined up for this fall, the transition from student to graduate did not go as smoothly as possible. At one school, a Supreme Court justice essentially had to crash the ceremonies. At another school, it seems the smart people organizing the event were totally flummoxed by the naturally occurring phenomenon of rain.
You’d think that with 380-plus years of combined experience, these two law schools could figure out how to run a graduation ceremony. But apparently there’s no accounting for common sense….
Continue reading “Even Harvard and Yale Couldn’t Pull Off Flawless Commencements”
The [Ninth Circuit] seems to have cherry-picked the aspects of our opinions that gave colorable support to the proposition that the un-constitutionality of the action here was clearly established.
Qualified immunity gives government officials breathing room to make reasonable but mistaken judgments about open legal questions. When properly applied, it protects ‘all but the plainly incompetent or those who knowingly violate the law.’ [Former Attorney General John] Ashcroft deserves neither label, not least because eight Court of Appeals judges agreed with his judgment in a case of first impression.
– Justice Antonin Scalia, writing for the Court in Ashcroft v. al-Kidd (via Josh Blackman). (The eight Court of Appeals judges are those who joined Judge O’Scannlain’s dissent from the denial of rehearing en banc.)
The Courtship Connection has been on hiatus since the infamous night of the melon-baller. We are back with a vengeance now. We’re doing a last sweep of D.C.’s single lawyers and then moving on to a new town. We’ll let you vote on which lucky city and its lawyers get to be subjected to my questionable matchmaking attempts.
First, we need candidates. Send suggestions for the next Courtship city to tips@abovethelaw.com. We’ll then let you vote. Don’t worry: Miami, L.A., San Francisco, Chicago and Dallas are already on the candidate list.
Now on to news of our latest victims match. I brought a previous candidate off the bench for this one, as I’m short on men (and lesbians — D.C.’s problem is that it has too many single ladies, and not enough of them like the other single ladies). Do you remember the guy who refused to get lost in his date’s brown eyes? Sex-starved but with high standards for chemistry. He agreed to go out on another blind date, but had a request: he wanted his match to be from the T14, even though he is not a grad of the upper echelon of law schools himself. I granted his wish.
Was prestige all that was needed to set his loins afire?
Continue reading “Courtship Connection: Is Prestige an Aphrodisiac?”
Memorial Day has come and gone. Hopefully those of you studying for the bar exam took a little time out for hamburgers and baseball. It’ll be awhile until you have such a good excuse for slacking relaxing. Graduation festivities are receding into the past, and the specter of the bar exam looms a little larger with every passing day.
For the second installment of The Bar Review Diaries, our esteemed contributors, Michael, Mariah and Christopher, report back as they settle into their surprisingly dissimilar summer routines.
Keep reading to see how meditation, jogging through Chinatown and Vermont peepers all prevent the Summertime Bar Blues….
Continue reading “Bar Review Diaries: Discipline, Rural Peepers and Urban Jogging”
We mentioned this news last week, but judging from the slew of emails we’ve received about it, many of you want to discuss it at greater length. So let’s talk about it: the class action lawsuit recently filed against Thomas Jefferson School of Law by a 2008 honors graduate of TJSL, Anna Alaburda, alleging that the San Diego-based law school commits fraud, by using misleading post-graduation employment and salary data to attract new students.
The complaint in Alaburda v. TJSL contains counts for fraud, negligent misrepresentation, and violations of various California statutes (including laws against unfair business practices and false advertising). Plaintiff Anna Alaburda claims that she racked up more than $150,000 in student loans and can’t find decent legal employment, even though she graduated with honors from TJSL, passed the California bar exam, and sent more than 150 résumés to law firms. She now does document review on a project-by-project basis.
Alaburda’s lawsuit seeks compensatory damages “believed to be in excess of $50,000,000,” punitive damages, and injunctive relief, to stop TJSL from continuing its allegedly unlawful conduct. Alaburda seeks to represent a class consisting of “[a]ll persons who attended TJSL within the statutory period” — a group estimated to contain more than 2,300 individuals.
Let’s take a closer look at this lawsuit — filed by partner Brian Procel of Miller Barondess LLP, a Boalt Hall grad and former Quinn Emanuel associate, incidentally — and consider its possible implications for legal education….
Continue reading “Class Action Filed Against Thomas Jefferson School of Law”
As Walter Sobchak might say: Lady, I’ve got buddies who died face down in the muck so that I could enjoy the Thomas Jefferson Memorial.
Over Memorial Day Weekend, the police arrested people for dancing in the Thomas Jefferson Memorial. Can you believe it? On the very weekend we are supposed to honor the sacrifices of our military, the police are going around and dishonoring the very ideals those men and women have fought and died for.
Unless you think we send our military all over the world so the nation’s capital can be a dance-free zone, like the town of Beaumont in freaking Footloose….
Continue reading “More People Arrested For Dancing, In The Jefferson Memorial, On Memorial Day Weekend”
Justice John Paul Stevens
* Opponents of “three strikes” hope that the SCOTUS decision requiring California to reduce its prison population by 33,000 inmates will help them to repeal three strikes. Four balls, standing eight count, and wicked googly are among sports terms vying to take its place. [San Diego Union Tribune]
* A law firm librarian in New Jersey is suing her old firm and police for being falsely arrested and accused of pulling a fire alarm in the law firm’s building. This lawsuit is long overdue. Dewey even need to check out the complaint? Folio microfiche rare books. [New Jersey Law Journal]
* An in-depth look at the legal issues facing moral exemplar and top-shelf human being John Edwards. [Charlotte Observer]
* Utah became the first state to recognize gold as legal tender, momentarily sending the price per ounce skyrocketing to 5.7 wives. [International Business Times]
* Retired Justice John Paul Stevens, at 91, remains as spry as ever. At an age when most men are dribbling pudding onto their shirt, he is dribbling it onto his bow tie. [New York Times]
* “Again?! Egypt bizman busted at Pierre hotel.” [New York Post]
Ed. note: Today we remember and thank those who have died in military service to our country. In honor of Memorial Day, Above the Law is on holiday (and we hope you are too). We will return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
* Can’t really improve on the Deadspin headline here. “Ric Flair Found In Contempt Of Court For Owing Wrestling-Merchandise Company $35K. Whooooo!” [Charlotte Observer via Deadspin]
* Judge Owen Panner of Oregon recently benchslapped the mortgage industry. I’m beginning to think the mortgage industry was plagued by sloppy practices. [Oregonian]
* The Obama administration has started to focus its enforcement efforts on employers of illegal immigrants. Apparently you can become president of this great country without showing proof of citizenship, but you can’t work in the kitchen at Fuddruckers. This guy knows what I’m talking about. [New York Times]
* It’s not dark yet for free speech warrior and all-around deviant Larry Flynt. But it’s getting there. [The Independent]
Muammar Gaddafi
* Ever wondered whether nose jobs can be copyrighted? No? Oh, never mind. [PrawfsBlawg via Gawker]
* You know summer’s coming because another politician is accusing the oil industry of fixing prices. You also know summer’s coming because it’s getting warmer, you dummy. [New York Post]
* Moammar Gaddafi, the NATO bombing campaign, and two French lawyers who clearly absorbed the lesson of To Kill a Mockingbird. [Washington Post]
* Finally, it was revealed over the weekend that Justice Sotomayor received $1.175 million from Alfred A. Knopf for her memoirs. Zune Zune Zune!. [New York Times]
* And finally, a law student sues a law school for its allegedly misleading post-graduate employment information. [Law School Transparency]
* A “leading business lawyer in Germany,” reportedly a partner at Linklaters, allegedly attempts to evade paying taxes on his new lederhosen. Now is the time on Spockets when we dance. [Roll on Friday]
* Score one for anonymous emails! [Law & Technology]
Paul Simon
* DSK gears up to blame the victim. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Female lawyers arguing over women having children and taking maternity leave. I think I’m going to read this post, go with my boys to see The Hangover 2, and then hit up Rick’s. [Vault]
* First-time Tennessee bar exam takers who graduated from the University of Memphis Law School passed the bar. All of them. As Successful Troll might say, congratulations to all of the soon-to-be-employed Memphis Law grads! [The Commercial Appeal]
* A patent attorney from Drinker Biddle helps Paul Simon out with a song. [Reliable Source / Washington Post]
* Deporting immigrant same-sex partners is just cruel. [In The Arena / CNN]
When Focus on the Family CEO Jim Daly recently conceded that opponents of gay marriage had “probably” lost in their efforts to convince young Americans that gay marriage is evil baloney, there was much celebration in circles that celebrate such things. I have it on good authority that Elie let out a big whoop upon hearing the news. Then he quickly got angry as hell about something or other. That guy.
Now that Christian conservative groups have given up trying to convince young people that gay marriage is wrong, they can redouble their efforts on the cinematic front. And that is something that we can all agree is great. Just great.
After the jump, enjoy the trailer for a movie that promises to do for the abortion issue what a banana did for the evolution issue (evolution is not an issue).
The film is called Come What May, and it involves a moot court competition and young love. And dead babies? Yeah, it mentions that once or twice….
Continue reading “Roe v. Wade v. Siskel v. Ebert”
Dick intentionally spits on Prudence while she is asleep. Several weeks later, Prudence learns of Dick’s act. Dick is liable for battery.
– hypothetical in a bar exam review outline for Torts. A reader posits: “I truly do not think the writer of this example, with an infinite number of possible battery examples at his or her disposal, had an innocent mind at the time of the example’s writing.”
Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg respond to Paul Ceglia, the wood chipper who claims to own half of Facebook
Now that the Winklevoss twins have been sent packing by Chief Judge Alex Kozinski (with a kick in the ass on the way out the door from the rest of the Ninth Circuit), with a 0.00% chance of the Supreme Court taking their case, Facebook’s lawyers can focus on the latest “Actually, I Own Facebook” lawsuit.
Paul Ceglia claims to have a contract with Mark Zuckerberg that entitles him to half of the company. Zuck supposedly signed away a stake in Facebook in 2003 while a Harvard undergrad in exchange for $2,000 in seed money from Ceglia.
In an amended complaint filed in April (with the help of DLA Piper), Ceglia claimed to have some damning emails from Zuckerberg where they discussed “the face book” project at length. Ceglia said the emails showed that Zuck deceived him, allegedly telling him the site was not very popular with the Harvard kids, and asking him if he would like his $2,000 back — at the same time as Zuckerberg was moving out to California to ramp up operations.
Lawyers at Gibson Dunn filed Facebook’s response to Ceglia’s lawsuit this week, calling him a scam artist and saying that the contract he claims to have is “doctored” and that the evidence he has produced is “fabricated.” Here’s the scorching opener to the answer, which was certainly written as much for the media as for the judge….
Continue reading “Gibson Dunn Goes Medieval on Facebook Plaintiff”
I really, really hope that somewhere out there, Thomas W. Gooch III feels like a giant tool. A few days ago, Gooch, of the law firm Gauthier & Gooch, wrote a motion objecting to a “large breasted woman” sitting at opposing counsel’s table. He questioned the woman’s qualifications and accused opposing counsel, Dmitry Feofanov, of planting her there to distract the jury.
We wrote about Feofanov’s response. He said the woman is his paralegal. But that response didn’t satisfy Gooch, who told the Chicago Sun-Times:
“Personally, I like large breasts,” Gooch said. “However, I object to somebody I don’t think is a qualified paralegal sitting at the counsel table — when there’s already two lawyers there — dressed in such a fashion as to call attention to herself.”
Well, it turns out that Gooch has been ogling, scrutinizing, and questioning the qualifications of Feofanov’s wife.
Dude… not cool.
Feofanov has furnished us with a statement, accompanied by a tasteful picture of his allegedly offensively-figured wife…
Continue reading “The Allegedly Distracting Breasts At Counsel Table: Guess Who They Belong To?”
Professor Sara Stadler
Yesterday I wrote about the Emory Law School commencement address delivered by Professor Sara Stadler. In it, she told graduating law student that their own “sense of entitlement” was standing in the way of their happiness.
I’ve got nothing against Professor Stadler or Emory Law, but I personally thought this was the wrong note to strike at a commencement address — and so did some Emory Law students, who contacted us about this in the first place.
But other Emory Law students disagreed. And after yesterday’s post went up, some students emailed Above the Law to express support for Professor Stadler and her message. They stated that she is an excellent teacher and was speaking at commencement by popular demand — Emory students voted on which faculty member they wanted to hear from.
Nobody raised a factual issue about what she said, and you can experience the full speech on YouTube. It’s just that some of the students really liked her address.
Fair enough. Professor Stadler’s critics have already had their say. Now let’s hear from some readers who appreciated and enjoyed her graduation remarks…
Continue reading “Emory Law Follow-Up: In Defense of Professor Stadler”
* Drowning in loan debt? There’s a niche for that! A Connecticut lawyer is paying off his $160K of law school loans with a client base comprised of — you guessed it — lawyers. [Hartford Business Journal via ABA Journal]
* In New York, new “while black” violations seem to pop up every few months. Apparently, riding in a taxi is now a friskable offense. [Metropolis / Wall Street Journal]
* Madoff investors aren’t happy about the fact that that Irving Picard charges $5,803.00 a day. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game. He can’t help it that every day he’s hustlin’. [Bloomberg]
* More and more women are climbing the law school deanship ladder, but what I really want to know is why all of these successful women are trying to make themselves look so butch. [National Law Journal]
* Those of you who are trying to lawyer-proof your rapey behavior taking the New York bar exam may want to check out this article about DSK’s sexy past for a refresher on the rules of evidence. [Reuters]
* “An inveterate scam artist whose misconduct extends across decades and borders.” Facebook’s answer in the Ceglia case makes it sound as if this dude is a movie villain. That would sound great in a trailer. [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]
Katherine Forrest: You'd smile too if you were this rich.
I recently wrote about Katherine B. Forrest, the celebrated litigatrix nominated to a federal judgeship on the breathtakingly prestigious Southern District of New York. Forrest currently serves as a deputy assistant attorney general in the Department of Justice’s antitrust division, but before joining the DOJ she was a longtime partner at Cravath, Swaine & Moore — a premier, if not the premier, American law firm. Forrest was one of CSM’s most popular (and most powerful) young partners.
Katherine Forrest has a reputation as an incredible attorney, and she has the awards to prove it (see question 8). Not surprisingly, the ABA deemed her “unanimously well-qualified” as an S.D.N.Y. nominee.
So here’s what I wondered: Why did the amazingly accomplished Forrest, a partner at super-lucrative Cravath for over a dozen years, declare a mere $4.3 million on her net worth statement? Granted, $4.3 million is nothing to scoff at; KBF is rich (even by Elie’s standards). But it seemed to me that a lawyer of her distinction, who was a partner at a top firm for such a long time, should be even richer.
Thanks to information from helpful readers who saw my earlier post, I now know the truth. As it turns out, Katherine Forrest is considerably wealthier than that $4.3 million number suggests.
Way richer, in fact. Let’s find out….
Continue reading “Ex-Cravath Partner Nominated to S.D.N.Y. Is Pretty Stinking Rich”
